Author's website: http://ladyana5.tripod.com

Disclaimer: Copyright to Alliance.

Author's Notes: May the gods bless TwoAxes email group.

Story Notes: So many spoilers, so beware!

"The Wall"
by LadyAna

They are always the most disturbing, the most upsetting. They slither from that dark place inside me that is plain as day while awake. But these days I can hide. I hide so well that most don't see the raw pain. However, after dark, I am defenseless. It starts with me as helpless as from birth. From the day I was born. Stripped of protection, naked and open, I am literally subjected to a myriad of intense humiliations, hideous torture, overwhelming fear and endless impotent rage. My protestations are pathetic, feeble against The Wall. All because of a man who was too cowardly to stand up to anyone outside his family. Pop was big. Huge, an incredible mass that encompassed my entire view of the world. I awake with a jerk to the here and now, to a warm body holding me, over twenty years from the source of my Hellish childhood encounters. I clamp down on the tears, who threaten to remind me I am nothing, I have accomplished little and I will never be anything. Despite all who I love, what I do and all I own. I wonder if I will ever be free of my subconscious' view that my father still has control. The tears win. Thank God, Fraser dosen't wake up.
END

End The Wall by LadyAna: LadyAna5@aol.com

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