Author's website: http://www.geocities.com/callinuk

Disclaimer: Due South and all of its characters belong to Alliance Communications.

Author's Notes:

Story Notes:

It's Sunday, and it's all Ray's fault that I'm sitting in my office. Diefenbaker is asleep at my feet under the desk, and I'm staring down trying to make sense of the thick browny\green leaves clustered together at the bottom and down the sides of the white china cup.

I groan to myself knowing, in truth, that I only have myself to blame, and I let my mind drift back to last Saturday. Ray and I were spending our day off at a local travelling fair, enjoying the side shows, the warm sunshine and each other's company.

I know now that I should never have let Ray persuade me to have my palm read by Sadie. But it was such a wonderful day, and I was swept away by Ray's obvious enthusiasm and his beautiful smile. The smile lit up his face blinding me with its intensity, and my usual Mountie-like common sense disappeared as it always does where is Ray is concerned.

In no time, I found myself sitting opposite a dark haired youngish woman with the most mesmerising eyes - unless you don't count Ray's of course - that I have ever seen. Dressed in a purple chiffon dress, her long dark hair was tied loosely into a braid with purple ribbon. She looked me up and down as she accepted my offered money, and I had the distinct feeling that she was looking deep into my soul.

I glanced about nervously taking in my surroundings in an effort to calm myself. Looking up, I noticed that the top of the marquee was draped with folds of pale coloured silk. Sadie had the lights dimmed, using candlelight instead to create a tranquil atmosphere. The small flames from the candles flickered, and I watched fascinated as the light danced across the white canvas casting shadows over the simple table and chairs positioned in the centre. I smelt incense burning, the aroma delicate, and could just make out long tapers of smoke disappearing up into the folds of the marquee. Sadie had somehow managed to create an air of the supernatural within the small marquee. I am sure it was meant to be calming and serene, but it made me feel more nervous.

I remember shivering, and Sadie giggled apparently amused by my discomfort. I jumped at her touch, and she laughed again. Smiling, she took my hand turning it over and peering down to study the lines and creases of my now sweaty palm. I peered down too, curious to know what she could see. I eventually admitted defeat, being only able to make out a tangled mass of lines, creases and a small white scar where Innusiq had accidentally stabbed me with a screwdriver when we were children. I stared distractedly around the small marquee.

Sadie looked up letting go of my hand. "You don't believe do you?" she accused lightly. I flushed with embarrassment, shaking and nodding my head at the same time. She smiled. "Would it surprise you to know that you are not alone?" she held my gaze. "He stands by your side watching over you, but it wasn't always that way. He left you alone when you were younger." I couldn't help myself, I looked back over my shoulder expecting to see my father standing behind me. There was no-one there, and I snapped my head back to stare at Sadie. She just smiled at me again. "You believe in many things, many cultures. You believe in honour and duty. And logic and order are paramount to you. But you came anyway because someone important to you asked you to."

I half nodded, flushing again at her insight, but quickly dismissed it - she had probably seen Ray outside. She grinned taking my hand again. "You were put on this earth to love and to be loved. It's here," she ran a slender finger down a thick pink line on my palm. "But you have known the pain of love in the past and it has made you afraid."

I couldn't help myself, I peered down at my hand. She chuckled shaking my hand gently. "No. It's not in your palm. I see that in your eyes. In your soul."

"Ahhh I see," I cricked my neck from side to side nervously looking down once again at my hand trying to avoid her intense gaze. "And what else do you see in my eyes?" I heard my voice ask.

"You don't need me to tell you that," she pulled a face, before smiling at me. "You already know what's in your heart. Your soul. You just have to trust yourself and listen to what your heart is telling you. Fate can be kind as well as cruel." I looked up startled at her perceptiveness. She smiled at me again.

I am startled out of my reverie by Diefenbaker barking softly in his sleep shifting slightly, his warm body heavy against my feet as he moves - dreaming of chasing rabbits no doubt.

I stare back down at my cup trying to make sense of the tea leaves. "Good God," I groan to myself. "Ray's right. I am unhinged." But I can't help looking down at the murky liquid again. I shake my head angry with myself. "For God's sake, you're a Mountie," I curse again as I let my head bang on my desk several times until I see stars. "Mounties don't read tea leaves," I chant over and over in my head. Sadie was right. I don't really believe, but her words have unsettled me. They echo in my head, and I have to know. I have to know if it's him.

I think I love Ray. No scrub that, my mind screams, chastising me. I know I love Ray, and I have for a long time, probably since that first day when he hugged me. But Sadie was right again, I'm afraid. Frightened to trust my heart to fate again. I did once before with Victoria, and it nearly destroyed me and my friend. However, I can't quite shake the nagging little voice in my head that tells me loving Ray would be different. He has generously shown me a side to his character that he never reveals to anyone else, preferring to hide behind a facade of brashness, noise and restless energy. Only I know that the man within Ray is warm, loving, funny and gentle. He teases me all the time, but his eyes betray him - they are full of mischief, humour and warmth. I imagine sometimes that I can see my feelings mirrored in those beautiful pale eyes, but quickly dismiss it as fanciful on my part.

Afraid to trust my own heart, I have resorted to other methods to discover if my future lies with Ray, and his with me. I carefully researched and documented our birth signs to see if we were compatible, but I was missing a vital element of the puzzle - Ray's time of birth. I consigned my charts to the trash. The rune stones were unsuccessful as Diefenbaker ran off with two vital stones refusing to give them back because he thought I was being silly, thought that I should just march into the 27th precinct and tell Ray how I felt about him. Ignoring Diefenbaker's suggestion, I then turned to the tarot cards which were totally confusing, even after careful reading of the instruction book. I consigned the cards to the trash, alongside the astrological charts.

So here I am still staring down at the cup trying to see recognisable images in the tea leaves trying to find an answer to a question that, in my heart, I already know the answer to. I silently curse Sadie for telling me that my destiny lay in my own hands, that all I had to do was reach out.

Unusually restless I get to my feet - having decided to ignore that Mounties don't read tea leaves - and determining that a clean cup and a fresh pot of tea may help me in my quest. Diefenbaker grumbles as I accidentally kick him with my boot. He complains bitterly, but follows me into the kitchen, hoping for a treat no doubt. I place the kettle on the stove to boil, and busy myself rinsing out the teapot and my cup. I heap a spoon with Chinese loose leaf tea - the best kind to use my book stated - as the leaves are large and produce easy to read pictures. Pouring the water over the leaves, I leave the teapot to steep while I retrieve my cup. On a sudden whim, I decide on a second cup in case the first cup doesn't give me my answer. I shake my head annoyed with myself at my foolishness, idly wondering if this is what true love does to you.

"Hiya Frase," Ray's voice startles me. I look across to the door, and my stomach lurches at the sight of Ray leaning lazily against the door frame, his arms folded across his chest. He is smiling at me. "What ya doing?" he asks as he pushes himself off the door frame.

"What if it's you?" my mind screams at me as I watch him amble over to the stove to turn off the gas ring. He is so beautiful and graceful - he seems to dance across the room, his lithe body full of energy, light and movement. "Kettle's boiled," he grins at me. "Gonna offer me a cup of whatever it is yer making?"

I snap out of my trance. "Yes. Yes of course," I wave towards a chair. "Sit down Ray." I busy myself with making the tea.

I join him at the table sitting opposite him carefully pouring him a cup of tea. He is slumped in the chair, his body all angles and curves, a hand absently fondling Diefenbaker's nose and head. Diefenbaker is whining in pleasure nudging Ray's hand every time he goes to move it away.

I am suddenly envious of my wolf, and surreptitiously kick Diefenbaker lightly under the table. Turning his head, Diefenbaker glares at me, and I know he will make me pay for the kick.

Ray drinks his tea with a grimace, which makes me smile. I stare at him as he swirls the cup in his hand. With a flick of his wrist, he turns his cup upside down onto his saucer, rotating it three times anti-clockwise. I watch as he closes his eyes, his hand resting on the cup. He turns the cup upwards, and holding it in his right hand, he stares down into the depths. "Do ya wanna know what it says?" he asks me as he looks up, a small smile playing on his lips.

I stare at him speechless, astonished at his actions. "How.... how?" I stutter feeling a blush rise up my neck spreading to my cheeks as I watch him take my book on tea leaf reading from his pocket and lay it on the table between us.

"So," Ray cocks his head to one side grinning as he nods towards the cup again. "Do ya wanna know?"

"Yes," I manage to squeak. "Yes I would like to know what your tea leaves say."

He pushes the cup to one side as he leans across the table. "I was sent here for you. And you were sent here for me," he whispers, his breath hot against my skin. He sits back, and I am immediately bereft at the distance. "Yer turn," he indicates my cup, his eyes glinting with mischief, but there is something else there too - something that I am sure he desperately wants me to see.

I swallow hard as I swirl my cup in my now shaky hand. Clumsily turning the cup upside down in the saucer, I begin to rotate it three times. I close my eyes, starting slightly as Ray's hand settles on top of mine. I open my eyes and look over to him. He is smiling at me. "Jump," he says as he upturns the cup. "It's me you'll see in there."

I glance down at the muddy mixture of tea leaves as Sadie's words echo in my head. I reach my hand across taking his hand holding on for all I am worth, reaching for my destiny.

"Thank God," I hear him mutter as he squeezes my hand. "Sadie was right."

"You know Sadie?" I say as I jerk my hand away, suddenly afraid again.

"Yeah I know her," he pulls my hand back towards him and hangs on. "She read my palm once." I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, and nod at him encouraging him to go on with his story. "Stell and me were at a fair, like you and me were last Saturday, and she persuaded me to have my palm read. Well it was Sadie. Told me that Stell wasn't the one. That my destiny lay with a man who owned a wolf."

"Did you believe her?" I ask curious.

"Nah. I was so stupid in love with Stell," Ray replies. "It was way before me and Stell started fighting all the time. Long before the divorce. I just thought that Sadie was some kinda weirdo. Didn't think about it again until the day you and Dief walked into the squad room."

"And do you believe now?" I ask as I squeeze his hand.

"Oh yeah," he grins at me. "I knew on that first day that we could be friends."

"You did," I say surprised, my mind drifting back to our first confused and awkward day together.

"Yeah," Ray grins again. "Ya looked so lost and lonely. And I knew what that felt like. But I never thought we could be anything more than just friends. Thought it was just wishful thinking. Didn't think I was good enough," he looks down staring at the table. "But then ya started looking at me funny." I can see that he is blushing, and I squeeze his hand again. He looks back up smiling slightly. "I sorta started to think that just may be I stood a chance. So when I saw Sadie at the fair, it was like..... like fate or something. So I convinced you to have yer palm read hoping that may be I would be there," he strokes a finger down my palm making me shiver involuntarily. "Like ya were in mine."

"Oh Ray," is all I can think of saying, but I know I am smiling widely at him because he smiles back. I manoeuvre our hands until our palms are flat against each other's. He feels warm and alive.

"So what do yer tea leaves say now?" his pale eyes are challenging as he presses against my palm.

"They say," I entwine our fingers together and pull on his hand as I get to my feet. "That I should do this," I draw him closer into my arms. He comes willingly as I lean forward gently brushing my lips over his. He moans softly leaning into the kiss, returning it with enthusiasm.

Wrapping our arms around one another we kiss; our tongues meet and we both moan as we suck and explore each other's mouth. We caress our hands up and down each other's body, thrusting and rubbing our groins together as we lose ourselves in the kiss. We draw back panting slightly, our faces flushed and our arms still wrapped loosely around one another.

"So," Ray grins. "It's Sunday. And even Mounties get Sundays off work. And I was wondering," he looks down shyly, his fingers picking absently at my sleeve. "If ya and Dief wanna come back to my place," he looks up at my face, his cheeks are a flushed pink colour. "Ya know.... have something to eat. Chill out with a movie or something."

"Look at our astrological charts," I can't help teasing as I waggle my eyebrows at him seductively.

"Oh yeah," he breathes, his voice husky with desire. He leans closer kissing me again. I whimper in protest as he pulls out of my embrace. "Pitter patter," he waves at the door grinning at me.

I grin back at him as he turns to leave the kitchen, Diefenbaker is barking with excitement bounding around his feet. I glance back to the cups turning them both upside down on their saucers. "Who needs the tea leaves," I whisper to myself as I follow Ray out of the Consulate towards my destiny.

THE END

Views to: callinuk@yahoo.com

End What If It's You by Callie: callinuk@yahoo.com

Author and story notes above.