Author's website: http://www.slashcity.org/~rushlight

Disclaimer: No harm, no foul.

Author's Notes: Many thanks once again go to Beth for encouragement and audiencing.

Story Notes: Once again, this series features a D/s relationship between Fraser and Ray (no pain involved!). If that's not your thing, then you might want to move on. :)

This story is a sequel to: A Sign of My Affection

Fraser in Chains 8 - Sensorium
by, Rushlight

There was something comforting about the evenings they spent at home together, and Fraser wasn't quite sure how he'd ever lived without it. Without Ray -- lovely Ray -- or without the odd rituals that had begun to overtake their time alone together.

The analytical portion of his brain wanted to know why he found it so arousing when Ray cuffed him. Chained him. Just the thought of it was enough to make him shiver, deep inside. And it didn't make sense that it should be that way.

But it didn't really matter what he knew. Because this new part of his life wasn't about thinking; or rather, it was about not thinking. Not thinking, not planning, not analyzing. Only feeling, and the things he felt when he was with Ray were nothing but good.

And so he was content to tell the mouthy part of his brain to shut up and enjoy the ride. It didn't even occur to him to wonder anymore if anyone else shared the kind of love they did -- it worked for them, and that was all that mattered.

Ray was a warm presence beside him on the couch, and Fraser smiled when he offered him a potato chip from the bowl on the endtable. As was usual for them anymore, Fraser was already naked while Ray was still wearing his jeans and T-shirt from after his shower. Fraser took the chip from Ray's fingers with his teeth, even though his hands weren't bound together, and felt a warm flush of pleasure move through him at Ray's approving smile.

He was already wearing the cuffs and collar, although none of them were attached. The soft shearling inside the cuffs was warm and familiar, and the gentle constriction of the collar was still new enough to be exciting, even though he'd worn it every night for nearly a week now. There was a part of him that wished he could wear it to work during the day, tucked safely out of sight beneath the high collar of his uniform.

So far, the practical part of his brain had prevented him from doing so.

But of course it was Ray who decided when he wore it, and when he would take it off. Fraser's hands had never touched the buckle, and there was a strange symbolism involved whenever Ray went through the act of putting it on him. It was even more profound than with the cuffs, and Fraser found himself aching for it at the beginning of their evenings, when he'd shed his customary reserve the way he'd shed his serge.

And it was odd the way that worked. When the cuffs went on, instead of feeling constricted he felt... free. It was strange to think he could find pride in the act of submission, but he didn't have to understand it to know it was true. He liked submitting to Ray, liked the feelings it invoked in him. It was something he had to work at, but it was getting easier every time.

He wondered where they'd be a year from now.

And he was thinking too damned much again, wasn't he? It wasn't something he could just turn off, although being with Ray like this made it easier. A quick glance at Ray showed him that Ray was involved in the movie they were currently watching on television. Behind his profile, the edges of the closed curtains over the window glowed amber from the light of the streetlights outside. Dief was already asleep on his rug at the edge of the room.

Feeling suddenly restless, Fraser leaned in against Ray's side, brushing their shoulders together. It would have been easier to ask for what he wanted, but Ray had given him strict instructions not to make a sound this evening. It was one of the hardest things about this game they played, but it was also what made it so exciting, knowing that he had to work at following Ray's commands.

When Ray didn't object, Fraser pressed harder against him, bending in to nuzzle at his ear. Ray's arm slid over his shoulders, softly encouraging, and Fraser kissed the side of his neck lightly, hoping Ray would understand the tacit plea.

"I was wondering how long you were going to sit there," Ray said. Fraser could hear the grin in his voice.

It was almost enough to be irritating, but then Ray was kissing him, and all thoughts of resentment fled Fraser's mind. Ray liked it when he asked without words, and it was very rare that he wouldn't give in to what Fraser wanted. It made Fraser feel indulged, and he smiled as Ray's tongue licked over his, balancing himself with a hand against Ray's thigh.

Maybe if he worked very hard at pleasing Ray tonight, Ray would put the chain on him.

The thought made him shiver, and he nuzzled up underneath Ray's chin, sucking lightly at the skin. Ray's hand twitched against him, and then he had both of Fraser's wrists held in a firm grip, pulling them around behind his back.

Yes. This was what he wanted. Fraser offered mute thanks by giving Ray his mouth again, and Ray kissed him deeply while he attached the clasp between the cuffs, securing them firmly at the small of Fraser's back.

Wonderful. Fraser's heart was pounding now, and he could feel his pulse throbbing against the leather collar on his neck. He wanted more now, wanted Ray's attention focused entirely on him, and he was half-hard already, just from this.

Ray's hand smoothed down his side, tracing the line of his ribs. The caress was remarkably soothing, and Fraser let his breath out in a long sigh, curling in against Ray's side. Ray's arm felt good around him, and maybe he could find it in him to be content just with this, if it was all Ray was willing to give him tonight.

Maybe.

His heartbeat spiked when he saw Ray reach for the chain pooled on the endtable under the lamp. The soft spill of silver metal links winked in the light as Ray held it out in front of him, letting the dangling clasp at one end trail lightly over Fraser's arm. The look on his face was vaguely bemused.

"I don't suppose you want me to put this on you tonight, do you?" he asked, grinning.

Oh god, yes. Fraser let his eyes answer the question for him, and something in Ray's eyes softened, became slightly warmer as he leaned forward to kiss him. Ray liked to tease, but Fraser knew from experience that it never lasted long. Ray's patience for foreplay was even shorter than Fraser's own.

He bent his head forward when Ray moved to attach the chain to the ring at the back of the collar. Then Ray trailed it carefully down the line of his spine to attach to the cuffs, and Fraser had to lift his head for that as the collar was pulled backwards.

After a moment's consideration, Ray tightened the chain another couple of links, and Fraser shivered deeply at the feel of it. In this position, he couldn't help keeping his chin tipped up slightly as his head was pulled back by the collar. Every movement he made gifted him with the slide of the metal chain over his back, and it felt almost hot against him, warmed by his body heat and slickened by his sweat.

Bound and cherished, and he still didn't understand why it should feel so very freeing. Ray's eyes were hot when they looked at him, and Fraser drew in a trembling breath as Ray slid a hand over the front of his throat. "Comfortable?" Ray asked, his voice soft, and Fraser nodded as much as the confines of the collar would allow.

Ray's hand slid down over his chest, pausing briefly at his nipple, and Fraser shivered again, feeling the heat pulsing through him pool between his legs. Ray's hand felt good on him, and he couldn't help arching his hips forward slightly when it trailed down over his thigh.

Ray chuckled softly, tapping the side of his knee with one finger. "You're so impatient tonight." The chastisement was mild, but Fraser frowned at it anyway, feeling the truth behind it. He was supposed to be letting Ray take the lead here, and he knew he wasn't doing that.

But some nights were harder than others, when it came to letting go. Fraser dropped his gaze and held himself very still, waiting for Ray to tell him what to do next. That was hard, too, but he'd learned to trust Ray over the past couple of months, in a way he had never trusted anyone before. He knew Ray would take him to the place he needed to go, if only he could be patient and wait for it.

A dark flicker in front of him made him raise his eyes again, and he sucked in his breath when he saw what Ray had in his hand now. The blindfold. And yes, Ray always seemed to know exactly what he needed.

Ray kissed him again, hard, before lifting the soft black cloth of the blindfold over his eyes, tying it around in back of his head. Fraser held his breath while Ray adjusted the fit over his eyes and the bridge of his nose, making sure it wasn't too tight, and that no light was getting through. They'd experimented with a lot of different blindfolds before settling with one that suited them; it was like being struck abruptly blind, without anything to orient himself with, anywhere.

Until Ray's hand brushed across his leg. Fraser couldn't help shivering again, even though he didn't feel cold at all. Blind and chained now, and there was a beauty to it that he couldn't explain. Ray's hand was warm on his thigh, heavy as his fingertips traced patterns on the heated skin there. It helped to ground Fraser in the darkness that enveloped him, helped remind him that he wasn't alone.

"On the floor, Ben."

Fraser reacted immediately, sliding down off the couch and onto his knees on the floor at Ray's feet. It felt awkward, bound as he was, but he made an effort to be as graceful as possible, because he knew it would please Ray. He felt his cheek brush the rough fabric of the jeans on Ray's thigh, and he turned his face inward without thinking, chasing after the musky heat he scented there. Ray chuckled and slid the fingers of one hand into his hair, pulling him backward gently.

"Not yet," Ray murmured, and Fraser settled back on his heels to wait, feeling the heat begin to rise in his face. He knew even without being able to see that Ray was looking at him, and why that should be so unnerving was utterly beyond him. Even so, he couldn't deny the strange tingle of pride he felt glowing at the base of his spine, moving down into the erection that hung heavily between his spread thighs. He knew Ray found him beautiful, and there was an inexplicable pleasure to be found in that.

Ray continued to stroke lazy fingers through the hair at the top of his head, smoothing the sweaty strands away from Fraser's forehead, but he made no other move as he settled back again to watch the movie on TV. Fraser thought maybe he should feel some kind of embarrassment over that, but all he felt was that familiar warm glow inside of him, soaking up the feel of Ray's hand.

It felt like a gift, knowing he didn't have to think when he was bound like this. Unable to see, unable to move, able only to feel the things Ray wanted him to feel, what he allowed him to feel. It was freeing, in a way Fraser never would have imagined. Not having to think, or evaluate, or weigh the consequences, knowing full well that Ray would take care of him. It felt like flying.

Even so, the waiting was beginning to become nearly unbearable. Sometimes Ray kept him like this for hours, wanting, but Fraser had a feeling things would move somewhat quicker tonight. He'd seen the hunger in Ray's eyes, and the memory burned in him, making his skin twitch even as he tried to be still.

Finally, Ray switched off the TV and pulled his hand away from Fraser's hair. Fraser caught himself in the act of leaning forward to follow it, and a moment later he stiffened at the sound of a zipper being drawn down. It sounded shockingly loud in the darkness that surrounded him.

"What do you want, Ben?" Ray's voice was soft, and Fraser licked his lips hungrily, catching the scent of him on the air. He couldn't feel anything other than the hard press of the carpet against his knees, his toes, and the cool brush of the air across his skin. And he wanted more. So very much more.

There was another low sound, a rustling of fabric, sliding hard against sweat-slicked skin, and Fraser tensed still further when he realized that Ray was removing his jeans. Another low susurration of cloth -- his shirt? Fraser tried to picture Ray sitting naked on the couch, a vision of tanned skin and lean muscles sprawled out close enough to touch. The image forced a low sound out of his throat, and he clamped his jaws together hard to stop it.

He could hear the smile in Ray's voice when he spoke next. "What do you want?" There was a low purr underlying the words that Fraser wanted to hear more of, a confidence that said he knew he had Fraser exactly where he wanted him. And Fraser was exactly where he wanted to be. He hesitated, uncertain if the question warranted the breaking of Ray's earlier admonition not to speak.

Another small sound escaped him when Ray's hand moved back to his hair, stroking hard with his fingers. Fraser pressed his head up into the caress, wanting more of it. Ray's other hand cupped under his chin, stroking down to the collar at his throat. "Do you want to suck me?" Ray's voice was low, even. "Do you want me to fuck you? You want to fuck me? You want me to jerk you off?"

*Yes,* Fraser wanted to tell him. Yes to all of it. He wanted it all, every last bit of it, and he wanted it now. Shameful, how demanding his libido got whenever he reached this stage with Ray.

He knew Ray was smiling without having to see him. And then Ray was kissing him, and Fraser almost collapsed in relief at the feel of Ray's mouth on his, the warm tongue tracing his lips and teeth and then making its way in, laying claim to him. But Ray's hands were there, steadying him, supporting him as Fraser leaned into the kiss, chasing after it stubbornly when Ray pulled away.

"Easy, Ben." Ray's voice was a gentle chastisement, and Fraser sank back onto his heels, breathing hard. It was so difficult sometimes, doing the things Ray asked of him. But it wouldn't be worth anything if it were easy, now would it? The pleasure came out of the choice of submission, for both him and Ray.

Then Ray's hands were back, rewarding him for his restraint, and Fraser nuzzled into the one that ghosted across his face, pressing a fleeting kiss against the palm. Then Ray was urging him upward gently, and Fraser did his best to obey, feeling awkward because of the constraints of the collar and chain. His balance was off, but Ray helped him, and soon he found himself settling forward onto the couch, kneeling on the cushion over top of Ray's thighs.

Picturing the significance of the position he was in made Fraser shake with anticipation, and he didn't seem able to stop. Ray's hands on his arms were soothing, stroking hard into his skin. Ray kissed under his chin, biting the skin there lightly, and Fraser shifted into a slightly more comfortable position, feeling the heat of Ray's erection press up hard against his ass.

The low moan they each made at that came in perfect unison, and Fraser shuddered, once, before Ray's arms moved around him. Strong fingers raked hard down his back, giving him the briefest touch of nail, and Fraser tossed his head back at the sensation of it against his sensitized skin, protesting the constriction of the collar that bound him. He was breathing deeply now, unable to control the tremors that moved through him. He was so hard he was aching.

Instantly, Ray's hands were there again, soothing him, bringing him down from the edge. "Easy," Ray whispered to him, nuzzling forward against his chest. He swiped his tongue over Fraser's left nipple, pressing briefly against the pebbled nub. Fraser drew in a deep breath and then let it out slowly, making a conscious effort to let Ray set the pace, to guide them in this.

He heard the soft snick of a tube opening, and Fraser flushed hotly at the realization that Ray must have hidden it underneath one of the pillows earlier in anticipation of this moment. Ray kissed him again, too quickly for Fraser to do more than lean into it, and then Ray's hand was braced against the back of his neck, urging him to rest his head forward against his shoulder.

"Up on your knees, Ben," Ray whispered, and Fraser obeyed so fast it left him dizzy, pressing his forehead hard against the side of Ray's neck for balance. He mouthed blindly at the curve of Ray's collarbone, tasting the salt of his skin. And then his breath left him in a low, drawn-out hiss as two of Ray's fingers pressed into his ass, slicked cool with gel.

"Easy," Ray whispered again, and Fraser shuddered, pressing back against Ray's fingers. He could feel them inside him now, stretching him, and he shuddered again when Ray put a hand on his shoulder, urging him to sink down further onto them. Then up again, rising up on his knees, and down again, letting his breath out in a heavy sigh. They were both breathing in unison now, hard and even in rhythm with his movements as he fucked himself on Ray's fingers.

"God, Ben." Ray's voice was shaky. Fraser kissed the side of his neck, tasting the sweat there, and Ray smoothed a hand down his spine, tracing the line of the chain. Fraser could feel it pressing into his back with each flex of his muscles, tugging on the collar at his neck. The feel of it filled him with a high, wild recklessness that seemed almost predatory in its hunger, its need, and he rode the wave of it easily, letting Ray's hands guide him.

Up again, and Ray's fingers were gone. Fraser made a soft sound of protest before he caught himself, and he pressed his cheek against Ray's shoulder in mute apology. Ray's hand slid across the back of his shoulder, soothing him, and Fraser squeezed his eyes shut tight behind the blindfold when Ray's other hand moved down to his hip, helping to steady him.

Fraser's thighs were shaking now with the effort of remaining upright, but then the hand on his back was gone and he felt the blunt pressure of Ray's cock against his hole. Fraser bit back a groan and fought the urge to press himself back onto it, waiting for Ray to give him permission to proceed.

Then the hand on his hip pushed down, and Fraser gave into its urging with a strangled gasp, feeling the muscles of his back tighten as Ray's solid warmth eased into him. And Ray was so hard inside him, so hot, and Fraser bit down on Ray's shoulder again, struggling hard to keep from sobbing his pleasure aloud.

His ass settled down against the sweaty heat of Ray's thighs; Ray was buried so deep inside him, filling him, and Fraser wasn't sure of anything else in all the world right now except that he didn't want this to ever, ever end. Ray's arm was warm around him, hard strength leashed in a caress that was soothing, encouraging, and Fraser raised himself up again on shaking thighs before pressing down again, hard.

And there was nothing now, nothing except the feel of Ray, and the scent of him, and the pleasure that coiled through Fraser like a living thing, making him bite his lower lip to keep from crying out. Fraser rode him easily, up and down, letting the pleasure guide him, ground him, as Ray's hands painted tender fire across his skin. Ray was gasping now, breath hot against his ear, and the fingers that curled deep in the hair at the back of his head were shaking when they pulled Fraser's head gently back so he could reach Fraser's mouth for a kiss.

Fraser let his mouth fall open eagerly, taking Ray in, accepting everything Ray had to offer, giving everything he had in return. The kiss was wet and almost brutal, and Ray grunted hard when Fraser slammed down into his lap again, muscles working, taking Ray in and in and in, in whatever way Ray would allow him. Ray's tongue was hot and slick, impossible to contain, and it licked a searing path to Fraser's ear where sharp teeth bit down against him, muffling another cry.

"S'okay, Ben," Ray rasped, arching up with his hips on Fraser's next downward thrust. His fingers curled around Fraser's erection, squeezing hard on the upstroke. "Let me hear you. Wanna hear you...."

And now that he didn't have to hold back, Fraser let go with a low, keening groan, crying out sharply when he pressed down again, angling his hips so Ray's cock hit up hard against his prostate. There was sweat dripping down from the hair over his forehead now, dampening the blindfold, but he barely noticed it as he rode the hot cock inside of him, shoving his own cock deep into the slick tunnel of Ray's fist. Sweat slid down between his shoulder blades, over his thighs, and he was hot with it, dizzy with it, as Ray pressed up hard to meet him, again and again and again.

Ray came first, stiffening with a loud cry, and Fraser moaned in muted empathy as he felt the slick heat of Ray's climax fill him. Ray's fingers tightened around him, digging deep furrows into his hip, and Fraser cried out sharply when the hand around his cock sped up, slick with sweat and pre-come as it jerked him. Another handful of thrusts into that sweet heat and he was coming, giving a ragged cry as he arched against the collar binding him, feeling the links of the chain press hard against his back. The constriction on his throat left him gasping as he floated down from his orgasm, feeling the strength bleed out of him.

A quick movement at the back of his neck, and the chain was gone, dangling down from the cuffs at his wrists. Fraser sucked in a breath gratefully and curled bonelessly against Ray's chest, trusting Ray to hold him.

"Jesus, Ben." Ray's voice was hoarse. He rubbed a hand over Fraser's back and turned him sideways against the back of the couch, cradling his head with one hand. Fraser made a small sound when Ray's softened cock slipped out of him, and then the cushions of the couch were soft against his back and side, supporting his weight.

"I'm gonna take off the blindfold now, okay?" Ray said. Fraser nodded, pressing his eyes shut tight. A moment later, the blindfold was gone, and he found himself blinking in the suddenly harsh light of the room.

Ray's face swam into focus above him, looking worried, and Fraser smiled up at him. He knew he should say something to let Ray know he was all right, that he wasn't hurt, but there just weren't words for the things he wanted to tell him. Things like thank you and love you and please can we do this again. The latter thought made him laugh suddenly, tipping his head back over the arm of the couch as he shifted to ease the slowly growing aches in his muscles.

Ray's hand slid behind him to unhitch the cuffs, and Fraser drew his hands forward gratefully. He'd be feeling this one for a few days, at least. Ray's hand settled onto his hip, thumb tracing forward across his sweat-slickened skin, and Fraser nuzzled forward against him, letting out his breath in a soft sigh.

"I'm fine, Ray," he said, wanting to reassure. And it was so hard to admit that he needed this, but.... "Thank you."

Ray's expression softened, and Fraser knew he understood exactly how hard that admission had been for him. He slid a hand back over Fraser's hair, pressing a light kiss to his forehead. "You're welcome." There was a smile in the words.

And in spite of everything, this was the part that Fraser loved best. Just lying here with Ray's arms around him, feeling exhausted in both body and spirit, and knowing he was loved. All their games aside, this was what kept him coming back again, every single time.

"Love you," he whispered, burrowing forward against Ray's chest. He wasn't even sure that Ray could hear him, but it didn't really matter. He knew Ray understood, and that was all that counted. Already, he could feel the need for sleep falling over him.

Ray would insist they move to the bed later, but for now, Fraser was content right where he was, cradled safe in the circle of Ray's arms. It still felt like a new experience to Fraser, even after all these months of having Ray in his bed. He wasn't sure the novelty of it would ever wear off.

It was amazing the things one could get used to, given enough exposure.

And it was equally amazing the things one could decide one couldn't live without.

The End
7/7/02

End Sensorium by Rushlight: n_sanity75@hotmail.com

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