Disclaimer: You know the drill. I guess the owners of my darling Ben and Ray deserve a cut of whatever I make from this story. But since I'm a non-profit organization you get zilch. Sorry :-) Anyway, I'll only take them at night time and tell them it's just a dream. When they wake up they won't remember a thing <g>
The quote is from ah, that would be telling. You should have more literary knowledge.

Author's Notes: I'd like to thank the world in general for being a beautiful place. I'd like to thank the sun for shining, and the mockingbird outside my window for ignoring all the abuse I've shouted at it through the years, and for carrying on singing. I'd like to thank Grace who read this through but didn't change a word.

Story Notes: I don't know what is inside that building but does it matter? Email me a suggestion and perhaps I'll post a sequel. There you go, a nice little challenge for you.
Remember, if you send me feedback I *will* love you till you die.

Trials.

Ray adjusted his shirt for perhaps the forty third time in ten minutes before he turned to the man beside him and cleared his throat with something that could only be called nerves. Ben smiled softly.

"What is it Ray? You've been exhibiting signs of apprehension from the moment we got in the car, not to mention that I don't believe you looked at the road more than twice while we were driving. Incidentally, when exactly did you discover your ability to drive so proficiently with neither hand on the wheel? It's quite remarkable."

Ray smiled when he realized Fraser was referring to the million times he'd cracked his knuckles during the journey, another sign of the nerves he was pretending to himself didn't exist. "About the same time you realised you could fit fifteen $20 words into one sentence." He retorted good-naturedly. "And, um, what apprehension? There's no apprehension here."

Fraser simply looked at him. Then he looked some more. Then he raised an eyebrow.

"Alright. So I'm a little ... antsy. That a crime now or something?"

"No, Ray. Your driving on the other hand ..."

Ray held up a hand to silence his partner and looked at him accusingly. "You're gonna write me a ticket aren't you?"

Fraser laughed. "I should, in the name of duty. But since my eyes were closed (through fear for my own safety) for most of the journey, I may claim ignorance."

"Hardy har har."

"There really is no reason to be tense Ray," Fraser's conversation took an about turn and Ray shrugged absently, his eyes drifting the door of the building they were stood outside. "Wherever the prickle of anticipation lies, so lies the tremor. Success is never so forthcoming as when you do not fear failure. Alas, I fear, and therefore am bound to the expectation of difficulty." He spoke without thinking and his voice had a soft, fairytale lilt to it that made the quotation seem appropriate coming from his lips. Fraser stared so long without speaking that Ray turned back to look at him. "What?"

"You uh ... "

"Yes?"

Ben paused and looked at his feet. "I like the way you speak sometimes Ray. It gives me, ah, shivers. Also, I ... um ... you ..." He was unwilling to complete the sentence.

Ray understood and smiled wryly at his Mountie. "I'm not dumb, Frase. I do know stuff."

Ben shook his head. "I was never in doubt of your being learned and intelligent. I have read your qualifications, and I know you're an incredibly clever man. You're beautiful in every single way, and I think I allow myself to neglect that thought a little too often. Anyway ... you sometimes exhibit a depth, and perhaps a side to yourself that, ah, catches me off guard. That's all."

Ray flushed slightly, and Ben noticed although it was dark outside. "Yeh, well, that's me. Intellectual equivalent of the Grand Canyon. Great depth, very little interesting content."

Fraser took a moment to assess the metaphor and then smiled softly. "Funny, Ray. But inaccurate. You've never failed to interest me." He paused. Back to the subject... "By the way, you won't fail tonight, Ray. There are two possible outcomes. Perhaps you will enjoy the evening and leave here satisfied. Or perhaps the evening will be difficult and you will leave here in need of reassurance, in which case I will be here standing beside you. If the second option should be true, there is no prospect of it being your doing. You will be who you always are: the enthusiastic, deep, interesting, funny, intelligent, kind, slightly unpredictable yet endearing man that I've come to respect, trust and love."

Ray tried to cough back the uncomfortable lump forming in his throat but only succeeded in moving it to his chest, right where his heart seemed to have stopped beating. He blinked a couple times to reassure himself there were no tears threatening his eyes. "Jeez, warn a guy Fraser. You don't want an emotional wreck on your hands, do ya?" Ben smiled and Ray grinned gratefully back after a moments steadying breaths. "You're getting the hang of the `relationship' thing aren't you? Learnin' how to say stuff just right. Thanks."

"No problem, Ray. I only said it because I meant it. In my experience, no words of love or friendship are beneficial or worthwhile unless they are heartfelt."

Ray tried to convey his appreciation in a nod but in the darkness he feared the gesture and therefore the emotion would be lost, so he raised a hand to Fraser's shoulder and applied just enough pressure to make Fraser nod in return.

Ben leaned over and trailed the tips of his fingers over Ray's cheek, then slid his palm round to the back of his neck to hold Ray's head as their lips met. Soft, sweet and reassuring was what he aimed for, but even in this Ray felt the undertones of something deep-rooted and almost frightening in intensity. As he allowed Fraser's lips, tongue and even teeth on occasion to melt away his anxiety, he was vaguely aware of Ben's gentle fingers massaging the taut muscle at the base of his neck, somehow knowing how to make everything feel alright again. His arm wound its way across Ben's hips and pulled him closer and the solidness and warmth of his partner was steadying. He was reminded once again why he loved him so much. Basic un-communicated communication. The characteristic of best friends, and so so much more.

They drew away before the kiss had the opportunity to become something it shouldn't ...couldn't be right here and now. They took identical steps apart, not too far but not too close, like everyday life. It wasn't enough, but it was all they could afford to have in public, so it was all they would allow themselves. They'd have time to more than make up for it later.

"So ... I look okay?" Ray stalled once again before entering the building, and Ben examined him from the tips of his astonishingly soft hair (who knew?) to his shoes. He looked like Ray, only with much more care taken over his appearance. Ben had only ever seen him this way a few select times, and he was glad it didn't occur more often incase it became ordinary and stopped taking his breath away. No ... Ray would never stop taking his breath away.

"Better than okay. You look great. Incredible even. Now shall we go?" Ben reached forward and his hand paused on the door handle. "Be brave, Ray." Fraser's eyes crinkled at the corners as he smiled. Ray shrugged in the most casual way he could manage.

"With you beside me, Ben? How can I be anything else?"

End Trials by LaAmelia: beatitribbitbiteme@hotmail.com

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