Author's website: http://freespace.virgin.net/jodie.mouse

Disclaimer: I borrow them.

Author's Notes: Thanks, you know who.

Story Notes: gory sort of s/m type n/c stuff.

He watched the thrusting up and down on the bed. From a distance. Blurred movement. Pretend sex. All pretend. Even the pretend bloody stripes across Kowalski's back.

It was a beautiful sight.

Skin merging with skin. Red blooming through pale flesh. Soft ivory-gold and scarlet wetness. As beautiful as roses.

And he was grasping himself, pulling at himself.

Fraser woke up.

Something, his conscience perhaps, was disgusted with himself yet again. But his erection lay on his belly tall and proud. He imagined lapping the blood from Ray's back. Fucking the ridges with his tongue.

Fuck.
Sounded dirty.
Nothing he wanted to do with Kowalski was clean. And it never could be.

Everything about his desires were wrong.

Well, they were wrong if he remembered correctly the dusty psychology books he read when he was a child.

That he had a mental illness.

Liking another man was a mental illness. To be truly pure you had to hide, no, tether your desires. Trap them.

No opening of Pandora's box.
But he had opened the box.
The dark creatures had come and slowly eaten his soul away.

Fraser was abnormal. He knew that. Abnormal for liking men just as much as wanting to see blood gather in wounds. Abnormal. To want to take a very particular man in an extremely rough fashion caring only for Fraser's pleasure and not that of his partner. If he slept with Ray it wouldn't matter if he hurt him. Hurting was Fraser's pleasure and if it wasn't Ray's pleasure...well that was just too bad.

He would have Ray. He could see the emotions, the questions warring behind those pale eyes. The eyes which plead `love me, take me'.

Fraser would love and take Ray.
Destroy him with love.
They would destroy one another.

It was very simple that evening to meet Ray's gaze for too long, to get too close to Ray's face, to kiss him.

Even easier to tie him to the bed. To hit him with the heavy leather belt while Ray pleaded him to stop.

It felt natural to suck the blood from the wound while Ray sobbed. To enlarge the wounds with a knife and then fuck the holes with his tongue. It felt right.

Tongue in the soft flesh, penetrating the warm wetness like that -- but not quite -- of woman.

Fraser realised those books were wrong. How could he be abnormal when this -- this felt so right? When his bones melted in his flesh and his erection was flushed with blood.

Everything primeval in him loosened. Pandora's box open. The darkness free and unfettered.

"I love you." Fraser whispered as he wiped the blood from around his mouth.

"I love you."

End Abnormal by Jodie Louise: jodie.mouse@virgin.net

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