Author's website: http://uk.geocities.com/ace_leary380/

Disclaimer: There is no infringement of copyright intended.

Author's Notes: Thanks to Jen on this one. Also thanks to my DS friends, who didn't even laugh when I said I wanted to put Ray in a vat of chocolate.

Story Notes: I don't have any defense for this fic. Can't resist that chocolate. Or that Kowalski, either.

"Okay, what do I do here?" Ray asked nervously, pacing back and forth in the narrow hallway.

"Well, just try to keep your head up, and you're pinned with a three count. Clear?"

"Yeah, Manny, I guess. How about if I pin her?"

Manny's whole body shook with laughter. "Ah! Dude, that's not the object here. You're supposed to roll around in pudding for four minutes with a fox in a bikini. How hard is that?"

Ray laughed, too. "You got a point," he said. "I'll make it look real."

"You won't have to try too hard, Vecchio. Velvet's strong, and she's a sore loser." Ray nodded, and Manny winked. "Don't sweat it, man. Just go out there and have a good time," he said, and walked into the dj booth.

"I'll try," Ray said to Manny's retreating form. Before he could get nervous about what was going to happen, the house lights went out and he heard his friend's voice over the loudspeaker.

"And now, gentleman, are you ready for the main event?" Manny's voice boomed. The spotlights scanned the crowd as a raucous cheer filled the room. "Then please put your hands together for tonight's challenger: Ray, The Super Trooper, Vecchio!"

He walked out to the middle of the room to applause and wolf whistles, waving and smiling, wondering how the Duck Boys had talked him into this. He stepped onto the raised platform and held onto the top rope. Gingerly he lowered his bare feet into the pool of cold chocolate pudding. Oh, sick! he thought. This better be worth it.

"And in the other corner, our Grand Champion, the one and only, VELVET!!" The spotlights focused at the other end of the room as the doors burst open. The heavy bass of Metallica and the thunderous applause of the crowd made the walls shake. In truth, Ray's knees began shaking, too, when he caught sight of his opponent. A very muscular, very scantily-clad, black-haired woman in glittering robes made her way slowly toward the "ring." She looked big, but as she got closer, Ray saw how in shape she really was. There was no way he'd be able to beat this chick. Maybe he wouldn't even be able to make it look real. Boxing was one thing, but wrestling? In a huge pool of pudding?

He scanned the crowd for Tom and Jack, but he couldn't see anything in the darkened bar. A man in a black and white striped shirt appeared at the edge of the ring, just as Velvet arrived at the other side. She climbed into the pool easily, and mugged to the crowd, inviting further catcalls and cheers.

The referee rang a bell, and Velvet turned to face Ray. She extended her hand and smiled. "How you doing?" she asked kindly. "First time?"

Ray relaxed a little. "Yeah," he replied, and put his hand out, too. "I'm Ray-" he began, but she grabbed his hand, hard, and pulled him towards her, unbalancing him. She jerked his wrist backwards and flipped him, and he landed flat on his back in the cold goop.

The crowd roared, but Ray barely heard it - he was up to his ears in pudding. He moved to sit up, but the woman leapt onto his stomach and pinned his shoulders with her knees. He cried out, but that just made the crowd holler louder. Ray squinted up at Velvet: she had her arms raised in triumph, egging on the men in the audience; her hair was still perfectly arranged, and she only had pudding on her legs, where she was kneeling on him. He felt that familiar feeling, that cold rage that he always got when he was under attack. He let his instinct take over.

Without warning, he twisted his hips and jerked upwards, and Velvet bounced away, landing on her butt. He quickly hoisted himself to his knees and lunged at the woman. He slipped and missed a direct hit, but at least he knocked her down. Got that perfect hair full of this chocolate mess.

He flung his leg over her waist and sat on her belly. Velvet scowled up at him, and he bared his teeth at her. He held her gaze while he surreptitiously reached into the pudding, grabbing a huge handful. "Hey, that wasn't nice," she murmured seductively.

Ray smiled. "Nicer than this," he purred, and mashed the pudding right in her face. Stunned for only a second, she wriggled out from his grip - easier now that every surface was slippery. She turned over and grabbed Ray's leg, turning the tables again, and this time she pinned him face down.

She grasped the back of his head and rubbed his face further into the goo, then gripped his hair and pulled his whole head toward her, at the same time twisting his arm behind his back. She was so strong, and he couldn't get out from the pretzel she had him in. He heard the ref yelling over the audience, "One! Two! Three!"

Velvet let him go, and got off of him. She stood up, throwing her arms above her head to the delight of the crowd. Ray sputtered there in the pudding for a moment, then slowly got to his knees. Velvet reached down and hooked his elbow, practically lifting him up.

His rage was gone, replaced by a stinging embarrassment. He could feel the chocolate drying in his ears and dripping down his face thickly. Ray couldn't look up at the crowd, which was still cheering - for Velvet, he knew. He wanted to get out of the ring, away from the mob that he knew was staring at him, laughing at him, except Velvet had his arm in a death grip. He was going to kill Dewey when he got to work on Monday.

Velvet appraised him. "Hey, kid, you did okay," she whispered. "Most guys don't last past the first dump in the mud."

"Thanks," he said to his chest. He saw a dollop of pudding trickle down his nose and plop into the pool at his feet. "That's...great."

"It is, you know." She turned him firmly around to face her. "Cause I never do this with guys who don't fight back." Her hands grasped his face, and she kissed him roughly.

After a moment of shock, Ray realized what was happening and kissed her back. He ignored the audience as it gave them a standing ovation. Just as he was getting into the kiss, she pulled away, eyes twinkling, and clutched his hand, gently this time. She raised their hands triumphantly, soliciting a final roar from the crowd.

The house lights came up and the music started again. Velvet turned to Ray and said in his ear, "You know, you really do look cute like that."

"Like what?" he asked.

"Covered in chocolate," she stated, and leaned in closer. She flicked out her tongue and licked Ray's chocolatey ear, suckling the lobe gently.

A smile spread across his face. "Yeah, well so do you," he said.

Velvet stood back and smiled at him. "Why do you think I do this?" she said, brushing her sticky hair out of her face. "For my health?"

Ray considered this as he held the ropes open for her. Assistants were waiting for them with huge brown towels. "So do you want to go out sometime, or...?"

"Not out," she said, staring at him hard. "And you won't need that towel. I have my own way of getting that chocolate off of you." She turned around and walked toward the dressing room, not looking back.

After a pause, he followed her, making a mental note to thank Dewey when he to work on Monday.

THE END

End Chocolate-Covered Kowalski by tiffany: tttm333@yahoo.com

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