And a Cherry on Top

Rated PG for innuendo. No pairings

Archive: Please, ask.

And a Cherry on Top

By Anna McLain

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"What're ya doin', Fraser?"

"Opening the door."

"With a canna whipped cream and a towel?"

"Yes, Ray. You see, when the fire reaches the can it'll cause a build up in pressure which will blow off the doorknob, creating a rather large hole."

"Yeah? Well, I'm gonna keep tryin' this tiny window."

"I can't really claim credit for this idea, Ray. I got it from that TV show you made me watch last week."

"What? America's Dumbest Criminals?"

"Um, I don't think so. The main character also tapped into a computer system using gum and a paperclip."

Ray frowned, drawing together his eyebrows, then shook his head.

"Now, if you'd kindly join me in the bathtub, Ray."

Ray turned from the tiny window and stared doubtfully at the tub then at the concoction wrapped around the doorknob. "OK, but no kinky stuff."

"Understood. So, would you prefer to be on the top or bottom?" Fraser motioned toward the tub.

"Yer unhinged." Ray shoved him impatiently.

"Of course. Top it is," Fraser said as he stretched out on his back in the tub.

Ray climbed in and lay on top of him. "Couldn'cha, like, lay on your side or somethin'?"

"No time."

"So, how long's this gonna take anyways?"

Fraser shrugged. "A few minutes."

"Y'know, Fraser, I can thinka better things ta do with that whipped cream. Maybe we oughtta save it."

"Such as?"

"Well..." Ray laughed. "Firs' we'd need chocolate syrup, a feather duster an' a brunette...Franny'd work."

Fraser's eyes widened and a flush spread across his cheeks as Ray smiled with a distant look in his eyes.

"Uh," Fraser said.

Ray shook his head and peered at his partner's red face. He said quickly, "But this is good. This'll work, too."

BOOM!

The canister exploded. Bits of door showered the room and whipped cream splatter-painted the interior of the room.

"Right," they said in unison, jumped out of the tub and promptly slipped on the whipped cream covered floor, coating themselves front and back with whipped cream.

Fraser stood, wiped his eyes and frowned at Ray, kneeling on the floor. "Uh, Ray, you have whipped cream" He motioned toward his nose and cheeks.

"Yeah? You look like you nose-dived into a lemon meringue pie, too--for once. Help me up."

Fraser took Ray's proffered hand and pulled him to his feet. He crossed to the door and gazed through the gaping hole where the doorknob had been.

"The fire has engulfed the ceiling. We shall have to crawl."

He opened the door and both men dropped to their hands and knees.

"Ugh, what's this squishy gunk?" Ray exclaimed as they inched down the hallway.

Fraser stopped and licked the sticky stuff from his palm. "Hmm, maraschino cherries and strawberries." He began to crawl again. "There's a window at the end of this hall, Ray."

"What's it doin' here?"

"The window?"

"The slop! The goo!" Ray exclaimed then muttered, "The window." And shook his head, spiky hair sticking up like miniature snow-topped mountains.

"I imagine they thought, for some reason, that it was a flammable substance. And while it's true the sugar may burn, it would hardly light the building."

"Of course, they had ta hole up in a bakery."

"Ray,"

"And of course, we had ta climb in the upstairs window an' sneak up on 'em."

"Ray,"

"And of course, the guy's on the can an' sees us."

"Ray!"

"What?"

"Keep your head down."

Ray rolled his eyes and yelped when his hand slipped. He fell face first into something gooey on the floor. "What? What now?"

"Chocolate syrup."

"Great."

"Now all you need is a feather duster and Francesca."

Ray stared at his partner's rear as they crawled and swore he heard the Mountie chuckle. "Laugh it up, Mountie-boy. Hardy har har," he said.

They reached the window, climbed out and fell to the ground.

Franny came running up. Fraser glanced at Ray with a small lopsided grin and a blush.

"Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no! Are you guys all right? Are you? Are you? Huey and Dewey napped those puffs when they came out." She looked at them quizzically. "What is that stuff?" She ran two fingers along Fraser's cheek and peered up at Ray through thick lashes as she licked them off. His mouth fell open. With a glance up at Fraser she said, "Wow, a banana split!"

She flashed them a wicked smile. "With a cherry on top."

Finis~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~