And there came a cry for chocolate...
A Voyager/ Due South CrossOver
by Malkavius and Jaelyn
Rated G
The evening shift, that magical time when boredom
ruled and absolutely nothing exciting happened,
was almost over. Bob Jenerik was not sure
whether to be happy about this or not. It meant
he would get to get up from his seat at
navigation, move to the turbo-lift and promptly
fade out of the minds and eyes of everyone else
on board the ship. Oh, someone might see him go
down his corridor to his room, but he doubted
it. It had always been this way, this
semi-invisibleness that plagued him. And he had
a feeling that a lot of the others on board the
ship felt the same way too. Oh, sure, Captain
Janeway spoke about the whole vessel being a
family, but you never got the sense that it was
truly so. It was like unless you were standing
by one of the bridge crew or, one of the other
guys who had the much-neater-sounding-name than
you, you didn't really exist except as part of
the background.
It was depressing really. What he would really
like was some excitement. Just a taste of what
it felt to be on the day shift. Just once,
maybe, to get up close and personal with the
Captain. To really talk to her...ahh, but who
was he kidding?
The cheery boing from the ships computer
announced the changing of the shift. From night
to day, and from boredom to sleep. Bob heard the
doors to the bridge swish open, and knew it was
Harry Kim or maybe Paris...some one to take his
place for when things REALLY started happening.
He glumly stood, and turned, heading for the
exit and another night of white noise.
He slammed directly into a form both soft and
feminine. He knew it was definitely feminine
cause his hand, in the act of reaching out to
catch himself, had grabbed...
"Ensign...!" the high pitched voice that somehow
screamed years of cigarette smoking, (even
though cigarettes, since having been long ago
deemed politically incorrect, had been outlawed)
was instantly recognizable.
Janeway's unamused glare turned the hapless
Ensign to unintelligible goo.
"Captain! I ...uhh...didn't...ummm...that is I
never...you...ummm.." he smiled weakly, mind
racing and options failing. The glare did not
lessen, in fact, it sharpened, and he could feel
the sweat trickle down his back. Desperately he
grabbed for the final thing..the last option.
"uhh...Has anyone told you you look lovely
today, Captain?"
Normally this line would have failed. It had a
hundred times before but luck and the mighty
calendar were on Bob's hapless side. Amazingly,
she smiled. The Captain smiled and blushed and
laughed. Like a school girl. And Bob would have
sworn Janeway had never been a school girl in
her whole life.
"You really think so, Ensign?" she said, tone
still that throaty deep timbre, and eyes
demurely lowered. From the relative safety of
the first officer's chair, Chakotay tensed, as
did the whole day shift bridge crew. 'Don't be
a fool, man...get out while you can,' he
silently urged. Didn't he know what time of
month it was, for heaven sake?!
"Well," Bob was still so flustered that it had
actually worked. "I guess so..uhh...I mean,
yeah. You look pretty good considering.."
Janeway's eyes instantly hardened. "Considering?"
The morning bridge crew all held their breath.
"Ummm..yeah. I mean, the pressures of command
and all are such that..."
"Are you insinuating that I can't be a Commander
and Feminine at the same time?" her voice raised
in volume.
"oh my god.." Harry Kim whispered.
"...because if THAT is what you are insinuating,
you mindless peon who doesn't even have a
regular SPEAKING role, I will have you..."
"Chakotay, do something!" Paris hissed, beginning
to panic.
"ME?" The first officers voice was distressingly
high pitched.
"Yes you. You are the one who all the rumors say
she has a thing with.."
"Those are just rumors! Can I help it if fan
fiction authors have nothing better to do with
their time than...." He was sliding down in his
chair, defensively.
"Can't you get a spirit guide to help or some
other such mumbo jumbo?" Kim's earnest face
plead. Chakotay sighed, and glanced to where
Janeway had taken the ensign by the throat and
was gesturing wildly.
"No. This has gone far beyond that. Chakotay to
Engineering." He touched his com badge and
stood, getting some distance between himself and
the Captain.
"Torres here. What can I do for you Chakotay?"
Chakotay raised his voice deliberately. "Yes,
B'Lanna, didn't you say that you had had some
special modifications tied in from the warp core
so the replicators could make chocolate for
today?"
Janeway froze.
Down in engineering B'Lanna growled, beautiful
eyes narrowed at the unwavering figure that
calmly stood before her. "Commander, I am afraid
we have a problem in the TransDuesers...mainly
some strange human male in red serge standing in
front of them and not moving out of the way."
The blue eyes shone with typical clarity and,
perhaps a hint of regret. But no hesitation. "I
am sorry Ms. Torres," Benton Fraser of the RCMP
said firmly, "But I'm afraid that your jury
rigged Warp Core/Chocolate making Replicator
violates 13.3 natural laws. I am going to have
to ask you to shut it down."
Ray shifted his weight compulsively, blonde hair
standing up in agitated spikes. "13.3?"
Fraser shrugged, glancing over. "Well, there is
some debate of the actual status of the law
concerning the energy versus matter transvayance
and the..."
B'Lanna subtly moved closer to Fraser,
expression grim. "Natural laws or not, we need
that Chocolate!" With a savage cry, she pulled a
klingon butter knife and pounced. The two bodies
instantly intertwined in life and death battle.
Hazel eyes rolled. "Great, just great. Yet
another woman pouncing on Fraser.." Ray muttered.
"Engine room, is there a problem?" Janeway's
voice cut through the grunts of exertion like a
hack saw.
"...I mean, the uniform isn't that great, come
on! I wore it once and no one..Oh." Ray stopped
grumbling and looked at the com system
skeptically. "Fraser, ahhh...man. Still busy I
see." Ray cocked his head to the side, watching
the fight, "Ouch..okay. I can get it." The array
of buttons before him, Ray randomly picked and
cleared his throat. "Ummm, no problem down here,
uhh.. We're fine. Everything is fine....How are
you?"
"The hesitation in his voice indicates he is
lying. Send in Seven of Nine to quote, 'Stomp
his heiny.'" Tuvok calmly reported, and
suggested. Blood beginning to fill Janeway's
eyes, she nodded curtly for the command to be
obeyed.
The blond-who-defied-gravity, also known as
Seven of Nine, entered the Engine room with
admirable speed. Ray Kowalski's (in case you
hadn't guessed it was him and not Vecchio.
HA...yeah right, anyway) eyes widened. And then
were drawn first up and down the former Borg,
but still more or less fake, woman's curves.
"Oh...hey..." Realization hit after the
hormones. Stomp his heiny? "oh..no.. Fraser!
Hey, Fraser!"
Fraser grunted as he struggled to keep B'Lanna
at arms length. "Not now, Ray...A mountie always
gets his man...err...woman."
"Get your alien hands OFF HIM!" Lights blazed
like miniature nova's reflecting off the silver
glint highlights on Frannie's net body suit and
leather skirt. She threw herself into the fray,
fingernails raking for B'Lanna with ferocity.
Meanwhile, poor Ray, unarmed and made mostly
unable to think in the face of all that skin
tight bodysuit gulped and gamely raised his
fists for a half-hearted effort to stave off the
blond borg. To no avail. Seven grabbed him with
all the swiftness of a hunting rabbit and kissed
him passionately. And very thoroughly. Ray
blinked.
"Of all the men on this ship, you and you alone
know the wonderful feeling of a good solid kick
to the head. I love you," she said in a deep and
emotion wrought monotone.
Ray grinned, relief stamped comically on his
face. "Uh, never mind Fraser. I have this
handled. WHOA!"
Seven is knocked to the ground as, B'Lanna,
overhearing this remark about Ray's kicking
prowess, decides Tom is a weakling. She screams
Klingon battle songs, fighting Seven for Ray.
"Ray...Ray...Ray...Ray...RAY!"
Hazel eyes tear themselves away from the
flailing women..."Oh, what?"
Fraser is pinned, Frannie's questing lips not
far from his and her equally roaming
hands...Fraser's blue eyes flash alarm and
panic. "Help!"
"Oh!" Ray rushed forward, "Frannie, come on, let
go!"
"Mine! I have followed you throughout the
universe, Fraser.."
"Fraser! The wolf has a shuttle all prepped and
ready..come on run!" The two stumble blindly
from the room, as Frannie tries to run after on
sixteen-inch heels.
"Engine room? Engine room, come in!"
Silence...
Janeway turned slowly, eyes falling first on
Chakotay, and then on Paris, and then on Kim.
No...all too valuable. Too irreplaceable. She
strode the few feet that separated her from her
second in command and stared at him for a long
moment, ignoring the rivulets of sweat running
down his tattooed face.
"Chakotay.."
"Y-yes, Captain?"
"Bring me a Red Shirt. NOW."
"Immediately Captain, of course...right away."
He reached for the com and quickly issued forth
the command.
Meanwhile, in all the stark terror, Bob slipped
from the room, only bearing minor internal
injuries. Night shift...he'd never knock it again.
_________________________________________________________
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