Standard Disclaimer. All right, hands up anyone who really thinks I own them. What no takers? Please send comments, questions, compliments, and otters to sdelcul@mail.com or visit http//:www.members.xoom.com/dueSou.
Answering a jointly-formed Vermont challenge that *someone* has shamefully forgotten to post. Bad Shannon, bad. A side challenge involved matching the people with planets (it works pretty well actually) was attempted. I didn't leave all of them in, because some of them were really bad. If you can stick them in, email and I'll see about adding them, with credit. Okay? Frannie is Venus, Ma is Earth, Thatcher is Mars, and Welsh is Jupiter.
* Is a line from the Sentinel (Out of the Past).
Voice over.
"Hey fellas. As best man, I'm making this tape so you'll have a keepsake." The camera moved around and settled on Ray Kowalski. "When I first met you Fraser, I thought you were wacko. You know, the wheel is spinning but the hamster is dead. But I soon learned that the hamster wasn't dead, just Canadian. Course when Vecchio came back we didn't hit it off too well either. I thought you were just this style pig with a nose only slightly smaller than your ego. I didn't want to give you a chance but Welsh made us partners and Fraser said we'd like each other. Now usually, if Fraser says something, it's true*. So I gave you a chance and he was right. You're a good partner, man. I love you guys. So, from me and Mercury (the turtle), Good luck and best wishes."
Change of scenery.
"Hey bro. I know I don't say it much but I love you. I'm glad that you were honest with me when the two of you got together and I'm especially happy to know that my words led you to tell Benton how you felt. If I had still been caught up in my fantasy, I would have missed my own chance at happiness with my own Mountie. Thanks guys. I have everything I ever wished. I hope you're as happy as I am."
Screen goes dark as someone in red serge walks in front of the camera with a meaningful expression.
"Benton, I know you care for my son as deeply as I do. That alone makes you family. Keep my son safe for me." She smiled effortlessly. "Caro, I'm so proud to see you happy again. From the moment you were born my only wish was that you grew up to be as happy as you made me. You have been a wonderful son. I will miss seeing you every morning. I insist that you and Benton visit often and-"
Fade to black as crying begins.
"Congratulations Fraser. Best wishes and all that. I-" she paused, unsure of what else to say. "As a wedding present I'm giving you an extra day off. I would give you the day before or after your, ahem, honeymoon but I need you here. Vecchio, you've got a good man. For a while I thought maybe he and I would-" She drifted as the camera recorded. Rewinding quickly, she finished off with some canned congratulations and after sending Turnbull to give the camera to Welsh, she sat and thought about Francesca. Chocolate and women were so much more dependable then men anyway.
The camera is carried to the station by Turnbull, on the entire time as Turnbull accidentally presses the red button.
"You've grown up and become a good detective, Vecchio, with or without the Mountie. Fraser, uh, thanks for the advice, uh about my father." He paused. "I wish you guys nothing but the best. I gotta get back to work now." He opened the door. "Huey, Dewey, get in here."
Cut in.
"Hi Benton. I wish I could have been there with you, but I had some things to deal with after everything that happened. I don't really know you, Ray, but I know my brother loves you. Hurt him and I'll kick your butt from here to Saturn. Best wishes you two."
Splices back to-
"Uranus! Get it?" Laughter explodes behind them. Ex-detectives Huey and Dewey hold up champaign glass. "Hey guys. Taking time out from our world comedy tour to leave you our best wishes and a standing invitation to drop by any of our comedy clubs."
Dewey continued. "A toast. To the uh, groom and groom. Bottoms up."
"To the grooms!"
Amid much applause and laughter, the battery runs out.
"It's true. The good ones are always gay or married. And now you're making it both." Elaine broke into tears then, reduced to eating ice cream right out of the container. "God I wish I had a life!" She looked wistfully at the pamphlet on her desk. Neptune cruises. For couples only. "Here. You're gonna have a better chance of using this then I will."
View from a prison cell.
"So. You're marrying the cop. The guy who shot you. Tracked me down and sent me to prison. Again. You can honeymoon on Pluto for all I care. I wish I'd never met you."
Kowalski viewed the last segment, erased it, and put the tape in an envelope headed for Vermont.