After the Honeymoon

By Sharron Ibbitson

This is part five of the Getting Together Series.

Ray and Frannie had been back from their honeymoon for two weeks, and it was coming upto their one month anniversary. They were both living in Ray's apartment, and everything had been going smoothly. Ray and Frannie were both back at work, and Ray was still working with Fraser. He wouldn't admit it, but his leg did still give him trouble. Frannie noticed the occasional wince that came over him when he had been for a run or walked long distances, and she also got the guilty feeling back when she saw it. Life was good for them. They had had a couple of minor arguments but had got over them with no trouble at all. Then Frannie began to feel tired all the time. She didn't mention anything to Ray, because she didn't want to cause him worry, she booked a doctor's appointment the next week.

"Hey Fran? Do you fancy that new Italian place for dinner tonight?" Ray asked his wife with a soft kiss on the cheek.

"Oh sweetheart I'm sorry I promised Elaine I'd go round to hers. It's just that I haven't seen her since the wedding, and we thought we'd spend some time together" Frannie replied, she felt horrible for lying, but didn't want to worry him.

"Oh okay, what time will you be back?"

"Ah, not late I promise" she replied, knowing that she'd have to tell him where she had been at some point, but hoping to save it to later rather than sooner. Ray kissed her softly before jetting off on some case with Fraser.

That night Frannie sat, nervously before going into her doctor's office, she was terrified of the results. She stood up when her name was called, then followed the doctor into the office.

"Well Francesca, I'm very happy to tell you this. You're pregnant" he told her smiling, she sat there silent for some time before nodding mutely and leaving the office. Pregnant? She couldn't be. What was Ray going to say? She knew that he had wanted children with Stella, but would he want them with her? She'd always wanted children, but didn't want a wedge between her and her husband. She decided to walk home very slowly, to delay telling Ray. The journey didn't take long enough for her liking, and she was tempted to walk around the block, she gave in and walked straight upto their apartment. She placed her key in the lock and walked in, after having prepared her speech on the way up. She was disappointed to find Ray nowhere near. She looked around and eventually found a note placed near the telephone.

Welsh called me in, something came up.

She sighed hoping he would be back soon. She always worried when he was called out, mainly because it had to be something important for him to be called out in the first place, and important usually meant dangerous. She flopped down onto the sofa and switched on the TV planning on waiting up until her husband returned. She leaned back against the sofa and drifted off to sleep. When she next awoke Ray still hadn't returned and she was starting to get worried. She stood up and walked across to the answer phone, only then did she notice that the answering machine was flashing. She played back the message and was shocked as she heard Welsh's voice.

"Francesca this is Welsh. Ray's been shot. He's okay but he's been taken to central hospital. He said not to worry and he'll see you tomorrow" Frannie breathed deeply a few times to calm herself, then she grabbed her car keys. She didn't care if Ray said he was okay, she was going to go and see for herself.

When she arrived at the hospital she went straight to reception. She immediately found Welsh lurking about.

"Where is he? Where's Ray?" she asked him quickly.

"The doctor's in with him" he told her.

"Well what happened is he all right?" she asked hurriedly.

"Francesca I think you should sit down" Welsh told her. She complied and prepared herself for the worst. "I called Ray in to help on a drug's op, one of the men recognised him, as he had busted him when he was a narc. The guy pulled a gun and tried to shoot Fraser, Ray took the bullet. He was hit, but that isn't the problem. The guy continued to go for him so Ray was forced to shoot him. His aim was off because of the injury and the guy's dead. Ray's gonna take it pretty hard when he finds out. I mean it's his first, plus the fact that he himself was shot. It's quite bad Frannie" Francesca gasped, she knew how much Ray cared for people, he was bound to take this really badly.

"Does he know?" she asked, and Welsh shook his head "Does he have to find out?" she asked knowing the answer, but hoping anyway.

"Yeah, there's all sorts of reports and testimonials he'll have to do. It was legal and there were plenty of witnesses, but he'll still have to do it anyway." Welsh told her, knowing that she already knew, but welcoming the distraction.

"Well can I see him?" she asked, forgetting about her news in an instant. Welsh shook his head.

"The doctors in with him"

"Yeah, but he shouldn't be alone" Frannie argued.

"Fraser's with him" Welsh explained, knowing that Frannie would want to go to her husband, but hoping that she wouldn't argue the point. He was pleased when she simply nodded, it seemed that she realised that Ray may not wish to discuss the issue with her. Together they sat down, they stayed in silence until Fraser came from around the corner. Frannie leapt to her feet.

"Where's Ray?" she questioned.

"He's just freshening up. I told him what happened" Fraser told them. Frannie took a deep breath, anticipating her husband's reaction. "He didn't take it very well I'm afraid" he continued. Frannie nodded. She then walked off without a word. She found Ray in no time. His arm was heavily bandaged, his shirt blood soaked, and he wore a sling. His eyes were red and puffy, as soon as he noticed her the tears began to flow. She hurried across to where he perched, and gathered him in to her arms as the sobs wracked his body. She clutched him tightly, not even leaving way for his arm, as she felt he needed the comfort.

"I killed a man today Frannie" was all that he could manage to say. She nodded.

"I know you did sweetheart, but it wasn't your fault" she kept repeating to him. They stayed like that for sometime until eventually Frannie managed to get Ray to his feet and together they made their way to the reception. Frannie kept a protective arm around Ray, as he limped beside her. For once he didn't have the energy to hide his pain, which in itself worried Frannie. Ray didn't say a word, not even when Welsh ushered him into the nearby car. He remained silent all the way back to his apartment. He didn't even utter a word when he and Frannie went through the door, she pushed him into the bathroom and pulled his shirt over his head, trying to be careful over his arm. She wiped him down gently, trying to get rid of the blood. He still didn't say a word. She pulled him to his feet and pulled his jeans down to around his ankles, then gently pushed him back down onto the closed toilet seat. He sat there in just his boxers as Frannie tended to him. His thoughts going round his head at one hundred miles an hour, he knew the man would haunt him in his dreams for years to come. He rested his head against Frannie's shoulder, and her grip around him tightened, it was the first independent movement he had made since he had left the hospital. Fraser and Welsh remained outside the bathroom door, concern for their friend evident on both of their faces. They looked up when the door opened, and Frannie brought Ray out of the room, she gently ushered him into the bedroom, where she tucked him tightly into the bed, she wished him goodnight with a soft kiss on the forehead, then left.

"How's he doing?" Welsh asked her.

"He hasn't said a word. I'm really worried about him. Why did this have to happen today?"

"Why today in particular?" Fraser asked her, and she realised what she had let slip.

"I meant any day" she replied, trying to cover up what she had said, neither man fell for it, but didn't push the point. "Are you staying?" she asked the men before her. Welsh shook his head.

"Na I've gotta get back to me wife" he replied, "But thank you for the offer"

"I will stay if that's okay with you Francesca" Fraser replied. She nodded gratefully.

"I'll go and make up the spare room" Fraser nodded. The two men stood in silence.

"I'm just going to go and say bye to Ray" Welsh told Fraser, he left the room, and quietly walked into the bedroom, he saw Ray laying on the bed, at first he thought that the younger man was asleep, but then he noticed that Ray's eyes were open and staring up at the ceiling. Welsh gently lowered himself down onto the bed next to his friend.

"Ray?" he questioned gently, and continued when he got no response. "Ray, you have to talk to me. The feeling will never go away, but it will become easier to deal with"

"How?" Ray whispered "I took a human life, I don't deserve to live"

"Of course you do. Ray that man would have killed many people. You didn't take a life, you prevented innocent people from losing their lives. You were just doing your job, you aren't the first cop to have to kill in the line of duty, and you won't be the last. You'll never get over, but you will learn to live with it, and you must forgive yourself for it"

"How can I forgive myself I took a life?" Ray whispered again unable to prevent the tears from falling, Welsh gathered him into his arms and held him tightly. Ray just kept repeating that he had taken a life.

"Yeah but you've given one too" said a voice from the door. Ray looked up to find his wife standing in the doorway watching him.

"What do you mean?" he asked her after a while.

"I'm pregnant Ray. You're gonna be a Dad" she told him, and she couldn't help the smile that tugged at her lips.

"What?" he stammered, not quite comprehending what she was telling him.

"I'm pregnant" she told he again. He shook his head, and his mouth hung open in shock. Welsh and Fraser were just as surprised. Ray swiped at a tear streaming down his cheek, he then rose unsteadily to his feet and with his good arm drew her into an embrace.

"Ya mean we're gonna have a kid?" he whispered, she nodded. "I'm gonna be a Dad?" he asked her, still trying to make sure that it was really happening. He had always wanted a child, but now he had doubts. "But I'm a murderer" he whispered into her ear, once again the tears were falling. Frannie pulled away from him and clutched his hand, she then tipped his chin up so that he was looking inot her eyes.

"You ared not a murderer. You are a brave man that has saved the lives of many people. You may have killed a man, but you did not cause that death, he caused him himself the minute that he pulled a gun. He was his own murderer not you" she told him emphatically. Welsh looked up in amazement, that had been what he was trying to say, but he had been unable to put into words. He was amazed at how in tune Frannie was with her husband. He tapped Fraser on the arm and together they left the room. Welsh decided it was time to go home, and Fraser went directly to the spare room. Meanwhile Ray nodded to Francesca's words. Finally he understood what people were trying to tell him. He hadn't forgiven himself, and he still felt guilty, but now he understood that he had been doing his job. Besides he may have taken a life, but now he had given one too. He sighed and leaned back against his pillows. He placed his hand down on his wife's stomach and allowed himself a grin. Maybe he wasn't such a bad person after all.

The End

Continued In Bringing New Life