Brotherly Love

By Sharron Ibbitson

This is a sequel to Mary Ann's 'Brothers', although I know that it couldn't possibly live up to Mary Ann's high standards of the original.

And the quick finishing of this story has absolutely nothing to do with the 'threatening' messages I have been receiving from a certain person!!!!!

None of the characters belong to me etc etc etc....

Brotherly Love

James Kowalski, idly flicked through the channels on his TV remote, not really concentrating on what flicked before his eyes. He was deep in thought, planning in his mind.

"Beth, Hun?" he called to his wife.

"Yeah?"

"How would you feel about going back to Chicago for Matt's 9^th Birthday? It's just that when we left things weren't too good between Dad and Ray, and I wanna make sure that Ray's okay" James explained to his wife. If he was honest with himself he would admit that it was more than that. He was very pleased that during his last visit he had managed to achieve the long desired closeness to his younger brother. Their father had always been a wedge in their relationship. When he had last seen his brother he had been very surprised and proud at the type of man Ray had grown into. From what James had seen Ray was a damn fine police officer and a very brave man. He also missed his brother, he had only spent a very short amount of time together, but he felt that a strong bond had formed. He sighed, wishing that all those years hadn't been wasted. His wife watched him closely as he sat deep in thought.

"Of course we can go to Chicago, I'm sure that Matt would like to see his uncle for his birthday" she couldn't help grinning as the look of pure joy flashed across the face of her husband.

"Great! I'll book the tickets for the weekend and then I'll phone and let him know when we'll be there" he enthused, she smiled at him and nodded

He energetically sprung to his feet and booked tickets for the first flight on the Saturday morning, he and Beth had already booked the time away from their jobs in order to spend time with their son on his birthday, and in James' opinion seeing his brother would make the time complete. James hung up the phone approximately half an hour later.

"That's it settled we're booked. Ray said he can't pick us up from the airport cos of some stakeout thingy, but Dad agreed to meet us. Ray said he'll be with us as soon as possible. Ray promised to pick us up from the RV on Saturday evening, said he'd drop us off at our hotel. I'm gonna talk him into going out for a beer, you know spend some brotherly time together" James informed his wife and she nodded, silently praying that it would all work out the way James had planned. She knew that Ray carried a lot of emotional baggage, and years of anger towards his family, emotions she understood. She didn't know if her brother in law would find it that easy to forgive and forget. She knew about the kind of relationship he had had with his family. He had always been the scapegoat of the family, whenever anything went wrong it was Ray's fault, whether he was there at the time or not. Whenever arguments broke out it was him that got the blame, his father often resorted to derogatory remarks and occasionally actual physical abuse. Of course Ray hadn't informed her of any of this himself, in fact he had vehemently denied it when she had once tried to discuss the issue with him. She would never have known about it at all if James hadn't told her, in order to explain the severe animosity between Ray and his father and James' own personal feelings towards his Dad. She sighed deeply, worried about Ray's possible reaction, she had grown very fond of her brother in law, and didn't want to see him hurt. She shook her head and managed to raise a smile for her husband's sake, he seemed so excited about renewing the relationship with his brother that she didn't want to steal his moment.

The days until their departure for Chicago seemed to drag on, with James and Matt growing more excited by the day. Beth tried hard to make sure that her husband didn't get his hopes too set on a reconciliation with his brother, as she knew that it may not happen. As the day for their departure finally arrived James was finding it impossible to stay still, as he looked forward to spending some time with his younger brother.

James embraced his father at the airport and the two men went in search of the baggage whilst Barbara and Beth waited by the duty free shops. James decided to dive in head first.

"So Dad, have you spoken to Ray lately?" he asked nervously.

"Um, your mother spoke to him last night to confirm when he was going to collect you, and he came round to dinner last week" he informed his eldest son.

"Ah, and how are the two of getting along?"

"Fine" Damian replied, not willing to continue the line of conversation. James practically heard a big wall go up between him and his father, at the mention of his brother's name, and the rest of the walk was carried out in silence.

James found himself counting the minutes till his brother's arrival at the RV. It wasn't that he wasn't enjoying his parent's company, he just really missed his brother and wanted the opportunity to spend some time together.

When the hour did arrive, and Ray finally arrived to meet his brother, James was dismayed at the sight before him. Ray looked as though he had lost weight, and his face was very pale and gaunt. His eyes sunken deep into his face, and not dancing with their usual mischief. He gasped audibly and made eye contact with Fraser, who merely shook his head. James got the hint and didn't say a word about Ray's unhealthy appearance, he hugged Ray hard and was glad when Ray hugged him back. He continued the rest of the evening as normal, but vowed to speak to his brother's partner as soon as possible.

The opportunity he had been waiting for finally came three hours later. James had been keeping an eye on his little brother, and was disgusted at the poor disregard his father continually showed towards his younger son. Ray was sitting quietly in the corner sandwiched between James and Fraser, when Dief began to bark, Ray quickly rose to his feet and insisted on taking the half wolf for his exercise. James waited a moment then invited Fraser to join him for a stroll. Fraser nodded, grateful to be leaving the tense atmosphere.

"I assume you wish to speak to me about Ray's appalling physical condition?" Fraser asked straight away.

"You guessed it. So what's up with him? Has something happened between him and Dad?"

"James I really think that you should speak to Ray, or your father. A lot has happened since you were last here. Ray has been through a lot, things that I shouldn't be the one to fill you in on". There was a silence as James was deep in thought.

"It's that bad huh?" Fraser didn't answer, he just made hesitant eye contact with the brother of his best friend, before replying.

"Yes James my friend, it is that bad" The two continued the walk back to the RV in silence.

When they returned Ray was just on his way back with Dief. His eyes were red rimmed, and Fraser knew that his friend had been crying. The trio only stayed for a short while after that before driving James, Beth and Matt to their hotel. James had already decided against attempting to talk to Ray that night would definitely be a bad idea. He had made his mind up to follow a different course of action. One he knew would get him answers.

The next morning James climbed out of bed early, kissing his wife lightly before leaving the room. He hailed a cab as he stepped outside of his hotel, and gave the driver instructions. Whilst on route he picked up his mobile and dialled a number he had memorised by heart.

"27^th" came the reply.

"Hello is Ray Vecchio there please?" he asked.

"No sorry I'm afraid he's not in at the moment, may I take a message please?"

"No thank you" James replied breaking the connection.

In less than ten minutes James arrived outside the 27^th Precinct of the Chicago Police Department. He walked straight towards the squadroom of the detective division. He went towards the one person he recognised which happened to be a civilian aid, called Francesca Vecchio, the young woman that he had just spoken to on the phone. He spoke quietly to her at her desk.

"Miss Vecchio, is your brother about?" he asked.

"Who wants ta know?" she asked him not recognising him.

"James Kowalski" He replied, she gave him a measuring glance, realizing who he was.

"THE James Kowalski?" she questioned.

"I s'pose so"

"What can I do for ya?"

"Can I speak to Ray Vecchio's boss?"

"Is Ray okay?"

"That's what I intend to find out" he responded, Frannie nodded and led James towards Lieutenant Welsh's office. She knocked politely on the door, before being called to enter.

"Sir, James Kowalski is here to see you" she informed him. Welsh looked up quickly.

"Well send him in then Miss Vecchio" Welsh told her, shoving his files to one side of his desk, giving his undivided attention to the matter before him. James Kowalski hesitantly entered the office and sat down when he was told to do so.

"What can I do fer ya Mr Kowalski?" Welsh asked.

"I'm here to talk to you about Ray"

"Ah you mean Ray Vecchio?" Welsh questioned being awkward on purpose.

"NO I mean Ray Kowalski" James replied. "I'm worried about him, and nobody seems willing to tell what's been happening since I last saw him, so I'm asking you" James continued.

"What do ya wanna know?"

"Well I come back and Ray has changed, he's quiet, withdrawn, not talking. Apparently nothing has happened between him and Dad, so I don't understand what's the matter with him" Welsh nodded trying to decide whether to fill the older Kowalski in or not, mind made up he went for it.

"As far as I know this all started a fortnight ago. Ray and Fraser were following a drug dealer, the SOB had supplied bad stuff to a thirteen year old kid. The kid went into a coma and died the next day. Well you know how Ray is about kids, he took it real hard, anyway he started being real focused on the case, not working on anything else, it was eat, sleep and work on this case, that was all he'd do. One night ten days ago, Ray receives a tipoff, bout where the scumbag's gonna be. Ray calls Fraser and the two of them do their usual and go off, not waiting for backup to arrive. When the suspect saw them he freaked and grabbed a kid, Ray was standing about ten metres away from him, and Fraser was just outside the building about to enter, anyway before Ray could get a round off, he blows the kid away, Ray's shot flew home about half a second later. Ray's been pretty screwed up since, he was covered in the blood of the kid, I mean that ain't easy on anyone, but you know how Ray is with blood and bodies, also that was the first guy he'd had to kill, don't get me wrong it was a legal shooting and any of us would've done the same thing, but it don't make it no easier." Welsh informed him. James just sat in silence trying to digest the information, god what was ray going through.

"Has he spoken to anyone?"

"He spoke to the duty shrink under duress, otherwise he wouldn't have been allowed back on duty, but I'm sure he just told her what she wanted to here, ya know, gave all the right answers."

"How's he handling it?"

"The same way he handles everything else, he's not! He just bottles everything up inside, until one day it just gets too much for him, he'll snap" James' concern had turned to worry and anxiety.

"What do we do?"

"Just be there for him, when he needs us. Let him know that, but without pushing him. I also suggest you talk to your parents, the animosity between him and his father can't make things any easier" James nodded, offering his hand to Welsh, which was accepted by a firm handshake, James gave his thanks before turning on his heel and leaving the office, directly coming face to face with his younger brother.

"James what are you doing here, is it Mom and Dad?" Ray asked concerned. James just stared at his brother trying to think of a reasonable excuse, and also pleased to hear his brother's voice, it was the most words to have left Ray's mouth since James had landed the previous day. As it turned out James was momentarily saved by Welsh.

"Kowalski in my office please" he called from his doorway; Ray gave James a strange look before following his lieutenant into the office. James breathed a sigh of relief.

"What did you tell him sir?" Ray asked as soon as he was through the door.

"Your brother was merely worried about, quite rightly as well"

"What did you tell him sir?" ray repeated.

"I just reassured him of the situation. You should have already have told him yourself" Ray reacted in a way that Welsh would never have expected, sure Ray was often volatile, but he was never disrespectful to Welsh himself.

"Firstly there is no 'situation', secondly in none of your goddamn business if I speak to my family or not, and thirdly I am fucking okay, so none of you need to interfere in my business!" Ray shouted before storming out the office, and continuing out of the squad room, not waiting for Fraser on his way. He jumped straight into the GTO, and sped away with screeching tyres. Fraser and James ran out just in time to see him speed away.

"Where would he go?" James asked anxiously.

"I don't know. Normally I can tell with Ray, but lately he's had so much on his mind, he's changed a lot, I don't really know how his mind is working at the moment" Fraser replied.

"What are we gonna do?" James asked, his voice rising in pitch.

"We are going to find your brother, take him home safely, and kick him in the head if we have to" Fraser responded, before the twp set off in search of Ray.

James believed that it would be a good idea to get the Kowalski parents involved in the situation, Fraser was dubious, but followed James' lead. James led Fraser to the RV, and advised the Mountie to wait outside, whilst he went in to talk to his parents. He sat them down at th table before he told them what he had to say.

"Mom, Dad, I'm here to talk to you about Ray. Now I don't know what you know about what's been going on lately, but ray has been going through an extremely tough time of it, with absolutely no support from his parents, would you care to tell me why?" James asked not waiting, or expecting a reply. "Ray is a damn fine police officer and a great man. He is sensitive, caring, compassionate, volatile and intelligent, yet you don't know any of this, why is that? Ray has been awarded three commendations for bravery, aswell as saving many lives, but Ray doesn't trust you enough to tell you his, why? On the first day he had met his new partner, a man he didn't know, he stepped in front of a bullet meant for that stranger. That is the kind of man my brother is, but yet you know none of this, why is that? Two weeks ago Ray found a young boy, doped up on drugs, the kid died, ray relentlessly went after the dealer, and took him down. The SOB killed a kid right in front of Ray, and Ray was forced to retaliate by shooting the suspect, he died"

"So the kid's used to it, shoots all the time, got the stink of dead on him" Damian responded, those few words caused James to snap. He grabbed his father by the collar and slammed him against th wall.

"You have just proved that you don't know your son, Ray had never killed anyone before, he is so screwed up over that and the kid's death that he has one missing and we can't find him, not that that worries you" James responed through gritted teeth before letting go of his father and heading for the door, his father's words brought him to a halt.

"Try all the bars, it's how he dealt with things before" James spun on his heels and was out of the door in seconds. He ushered Fraser back into the car and began skirting all the bars in the area. Eventually they came across Ray, who was nursing a large scotch, but didn't seem to be drinking it. Fraser watched as James approached his brother, and gently removed the glass from his grasp. He whispered something in Ray's ear, and Fraser was amazed when Ray turned towards his brother, fell into his embrace and began to sob his heart out. When Ray had finally stopped crying James eased him gently inot the car, as exhaustion finally won out, Ray drifted to sleep and the journey back to his apartment was completed in silence. They arrived less than thirty minutes later. James gently shook Ray awake, and roused him enough to get him up the stairs.

The next morning Ray felt better than he had in days, his hand hurt like a mother fucker, but he figured that was where he had put it through the wall at the bar, shit at the bar? Had he....?

"It's okay, you didn't drink" said the voice of his brother.

"How do you know?"

"I asked the tender" James replied.

"You told Mum and Dad" Ray accused

"Yes I did, and I don't apologise for it. They should know, I'm proud of you"

"You're proud of me for getting a kid killed then letting the bastard that killed those kids get away with it, by letting him die quickly. You're proud of me for being a murderer? Well it's funny cos I'm not too proud of me at the moment"

"I'm proud of you for becoming a good police officer and a fine man. You went against Dad to join the police, that took courage. You spend everyday helping others, at a risk to yourself. Maybe two children died that shouldn't have died, but you took that guy down and by doing so, you saved the lives of other children. Yeah I think that's something to be proud of. And last night it would have been so easy to have drunk that scotch and drown your sorrows into oblivion, but you didn't, you controlled your urge, so yeah little brother I'm proud of you" Ray swiped furiously at the tears streaming down his face.

"Dad hates me"

"Screw Dad" James responded, raising a smile out of his brother.

"It's just that everytime I close my eyes, all I see is that kids face, so young and so innocent, then the next minute there's a hole through his head and his brains are splattered all over me, I should of done something, why are you so sure that I did things right"

"Why are you so sure that you didn't?" James fired back. Ray closed his eyes as the tears streamed down. "God what has Dad done to you?" James asked. Ray shrugged. "Well together we'll fix it" James replied, embracing his brother once more. The two brothers parted, and made their way into the kitchen to share breakfast with Fraser, after all you don't have to share blood to share brotherly love.

THE END