This little story was inspired by the recent, oh-so-wonderful, CatVina fics.
Alliance owns these characters; I'm just borrowing them.
Ben's eyes flew open and he automatically looked over at the clock. 3:34 a.m. Then he couldn't have heard his name being called. But he could have sworn that was what had awakened him.
He heard his name again.
"Benny." Ray's head was tossing from side to side on his pillow, and his arms were moving as if they were trying to catch something. "Benny, no."
"Ray?"
"No! Benny! Benny!" Ray was yelling now, and he sat up in the bed with a loud gasp.
Ben switched on the light and gently grabbed his lover by the shoulders. "Ray?"
Ray turned to face him. He was shaking, and his eyes were huge in his face; showing panic and fear. He grabbed Ben and pulled him into a tight embrace. "Benny... Benny."
"Sssh, Ray, it's all right. I'm all right. I'm here, love. I'm safe. I'm here. I'm with you, Ray." Ben placed a soft kiss on the top of Ray's head and started rocking him gently.
Ray tightened his arms around Ben's waist still further and buried his face into Ben's shoulder.
Ben could feel Ray's heart pounding and he ran a hand gently up and down Ray's back. "It was a nightmare, Ray. Just a dream. It's over now. Everything is okay."
Ray couldn't answer; he just drew a deep, shuddering breath.
"You're still upset over what happened this afternoon."
Ray pulled away to stare at him, an expression of disbelief on his face. "Well of course I am, you idiot!"
He then gave Ben a gentle, tender kiss. "Oh God, Benny. You scared the hell out of me. You know, you don't carry a gun; and you're not Superman, Benny. You've got to stop charging blindly into situations like that."
"I wasn't alone, Ray. You were right behind me."
"I was like ten steps behind you, Benny; and that was enough. It was more than enough." Ray shivered, remembering.
"I came into the alley just in time to see him take a shot at you. I saw you drop, and I didn't know if you'd been... I thought you might be..." Ray's words dried up, and he buried his face against Ben's shoulder again.
"No, Ray. No. He didn't shoot me. He didn't kill me. I'm here, Ray; I'm fine."
"This time, Benny." Ray's words were half-muffled against Fraser's skin. "You have to stop tempting fate. One day you're gonna chase some guy into an alley who isn't hopped up on drugs; who will be able to get a good shot at you. What the hell is going to happen then?"
"Ray, I can't stop being a police officer just because there's danger involved."
Ray sat up and looked at Benny. "And I can't lose you, Benny. I can't. You know, it's a good thing Huey was right behind me; because when I saw you fall, I froze. I just froze. Everything I had ever learned about being a cop went right out the window.
"I wasn't a cop anymore; I was just a man who was terrified that he had lost the person he loves more than anything in this world."
"Oh, Ray." Ben whispered, his own voice trembling slightly.
"I mean it, Benny. You may have been the one in danger, but I'm the one whose life flashed before his eyes."
Ben gave a shaky laugh.
"And I've got to tell you, Benny; I didn't much like the picture of my life without you in it. It's..." Ray broke off and shuddered again. "I need you, Benny."
"Ray, I..." Ray cut Ben's words off with a passionate, lingering kiss. At last Ray pulled away to gaze into his lover's face.
"I know you need to be a cop, Benny. I know that, okay? But you can be a cop and be careful, too. It can be done, you know."
"Ray..."
"Don't you dare argue with me, Benny. It was different when it was just you, charging off alone across the frozen wastelands. But it's not like that anymore. You have people who count on you being there; people who need you. You're just going to have to get used to it, Constable. You have people in your life who love you."
Ben nodded and swallowed and gave Ray a small nod. "All right, Ray. I'll try."
"You do more than try, Benny. If you get yourself killed in the line of duty due to some stupid heroics I'll be so pissed off that I'll never forgive you."
"Understood."
The two men were silent for awhile, holding each other.
"Ray?"
"Yeah, Benny?"
"I love you."
"I love you too."
"Do you think you can get back to sleep now, my love?" Ben asked.
"I think so."
Ben turned the light off, and the two men lay back against their pillows.
"Come here." Ray said, pulling Ben into his arms. Benny happily rolled over to lie against Ray's chest.
With Ray's hand gently stroking his back, Ben quickly fell asleep; but Ray stayed awake for a long time, his cheek resting against Ben's hair, deep in thought.
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