Rating: PG-13 for implied sexual situations.

Pairings: Fraser/Female, Fraser/Vecchio

Warnings: Despair, darkness, the ravaging of human souls.

When souls go dark. A what-might-have-been...

Comments can be made to: jeanniemarie@sprintmail.com.

(c) August 26, 1999

*Benton Fraser, formerly of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, lay tied to the narrow bed, shivering slightly as the cold air from the open window brushed across his bare skin. He swallowed, the leather of his collar tightening a fraction of an inch.

He was completely possessed. A slave to his passion. A slave to the only woman he'd ever loved.

When he had jumped on the train to join Victoria, it had been to dispell the awful loneliness yawning out before him, years upon years, no end in sight. He had buried his face in her perfumed hair and had deliberately pushed out the thought of the one left behind. Oh, no, the pain was far too great for that.

At first he had made himself believe that he could be happy with her. She fed him with her body and her soul.

It was only when it was too late that he realized that she was feeding on his soul as well.

Their lovemaking had been glorious in the beginning. And then she had coaxed him into trying bondage. He had consented, wanting to please her. His love hurt, and so did she. And after a night here and there, it became a weekend, then a week, then a month, and the pain and humiliation grew. And then came the night when she ignored the safeword he spoke.

From then on he was a permanent slave to her Mistress, and when they traveled, she drugged him and pushed him in a wheelchair, and she told everyone that her dear, sweet cousin had been in a terrible accident, and that was why his hands shook and his head bobbed, and he could not understand what they said.

And so now he lay on this bed, his back throbbing from her expertise with the whip, his nipples bruised from the clamps she loved to apply, his cock and rectum sore and weeping.

Like his heart.

For he knew now what a terrible mistake he had made. And the one who could not bear to think of would have been a wonderful Master. He would have trusted him completely, and his slavery would have been joyous, not disastrous. And when he spoke the safeword, his Master would have heeded him.

Oh, Ray.

The shadows shifted.

"Hello, Benny."

Fraser's eyes widened as he saw the one he loved emerge from the darkness.

Ray!

He could not speak. She had gagged him.

"Gee, Benny, she's got you trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey, hasn't she?" Ray walked closer, and Fraser's joy faded.

For this man was as he remembered: lean, beautiful, graceful. He wore Armani draped over his elegant body, and his close-cropped hair looked sleek and sexy, as he did.

His eyes were gorgeous, as beautiful as emeralds, but they glittered.

Like ice.

Fraser shivered. They rivaled the bitter cold of the Maine winds that blew through the rundown hotel room. There was no warmth, no light, no joy in them.

Ray stood by the bed, looking down upon Fraser's nakedness. Then he slipped off the gag. Fraser blinked, swallowing as he tried to dispell the cottony feeling in his mouth.

"It's been awhile, hasn't it, Benny?" Fraser nodded, too dumbstruck to do much else. "She set us up both real good. I gotta give her credit for that. Damned smart woman." His smile made Fraser's stomach lurch. "She sure fooled you, huh?"

"Ray..." His voice was a mere croak.

Ray stepped back. "Do you know what *you* did to me, Benny?" Fraser cringed at the way Ray said his special name. The name he had cherished now made him sick with sorrow. "I lost the house, you know." Fraser's heart ached. "Ma and my sisters and the kids and Tony would've been out on the street if some of the family hadn't taken them in." Ray slid a finger down his dark-green silk tie. "I lost my career, you know." His voice was not bitter, nor angry, just cold. "Oh, and I lost my freedom." He leaned forward slightly. "Do you know what they do to a cop in prison, Benny? Let's just say, you wouldn't want the details."

"Ray, I'm sore-ry..."

Ray waved his hand negligently. His eyes never left Fraser's face.

"Ray, your family...?"

"...is back at North Octavia."

"And you're a policeman again?" Fraser rasped, wishing he dared ask for water.

"No, I'm not a policeman."

"You're out of prison."

"Yes." Ray crossed his arms and leaned against the peeling wall. "You know, Benny, you were always so naive. Dark lovers get into your soul and they leech all the love out of you. They're insidious, y'know? You were so weak. She came to Chicago and, what, you caved in the first day?" He shifted to his left foot. "You didn't even have to see her every day, remember her, know she was there."

"I...grieved for her...for ten years."

"Mmm." Ray glanced at the window, then focused his attention back to Fraser. "Dark lovers slither in, then slowly transform you. You don't even recognize yourself in the mirror anymore."

"Ray, I..."

Suddenly the cold eyes seemed to blaze green fire as Ray stepped forward. "Why couldn't you love me, Benny? Why couldn't you just turn around and see me?!"

Ray had loved him. And he had jumped on that train.

"I was going to tell you, and then she came. And you threw me away like an old shoe.

The courteous, perfect, polite Benton Fraser. Dumping your best friend for a bitch." Ray's smile made Fraser afraid. Ray shrugged. "But dark lovers do that to you. They make a guy lose his bearings. I don't make love anymore. God, I loved you."

Fraser felt the tears slip down his cheeks. What had he done? Left destruction in his wake. When he had gone with Victoria, he had destroyed two lives. Ray was not his sweet, dear Ray. There were harsh lines of suffering around his eyes and mouth, and he was so thin the word 'gaunt' came to mind. And he was cold, so cold...

"Ah, Benny..."

For a moment, Ray seemed genuinely regretful, then his eyes flicked to the movement at the door.

"Hands up, Vecchio."

Victoria stalked in, gun at the ready. Ray simply looked at her.

"Victoria, no!"

"Shut up, slave." Her smile was darkly amused. "So the catamite Italian still had to seek you out? Oh, man, Vecchio, you've got it bad."

"Probably," Ray agreed affably.

"Is he worth it? He betrayed you just like he betrayed me. He's worthless. He's not very imaginative in bed. You've got to do all the work, just about."

"Oh, somehow I doubt that."

Fraser's heart raced. Oh, gods above, don't let Victoria hurt Ray!

She shrugged. "I'm bored with him, but he is mine. I don't give up my possessions easily."

Ray's expression was amused. "I know someone who talks just like you." He turned to a silently-weeping Fraser. "Aw, Benny, don't cry. She might have to paddle your ass if you do."

"So, how was prison?"

Ray's face was unreadable, but he answered, "I don't have to tell you."

"No, you don't." Her dark eyes glittered in amusement. "How'd you get out? I thought I'd framed you and Ben perfectly."

"Kismet."

She laughed. "And now, you look pretty prosperous."

"I'm well taken care of."

"You might be interesting for a night, Vecchio."

Fraser was certain. He was in hell. And he had brought Ray with him. Victoria had destroyed him. He had destroyed Ray. Dying would be easy after living in this hell.

"Ben could service us both. He is quite talented, once you give him direction." She chuckled as a long, red fingernail slid down her slave's bare chest. "Or just me, if you like."

He looked at her. "Nah, thanks, but I'm a one-man man."

She smiled with brittle glee. "But that man is taken."

He merely smiled at her.

"So, you don't want to play?"

"No."

Her face grew hard. "Then I'll have to dispose of you."

"Victoria, no!"

She started to pull the trigger and screamed. A crack! rang out, and she slumped onto Fraser's naked stomach. Her silk hair tickled his skin. He could feel the wetness of blood seep into his pores. His stomach turned.

A movement caught his eye. A figure melted out of the shadows.

"Zuko!" he gasped.

Frankie Zuko smiled his silken smile, gun smoking in his hand. Ray leaned down and kissed Fraser gently, whispering in his ear, "You're not the only one with a dark lover in your past. Oh, how I would have loved you, Benny." He straightened up and went to Frankie, who put a possessive arm around his waist. He faced Fraser.

"I told you, Benny, I don't make love anymore. But I do have sex."

Frankie's smile was pure venomous joy as he spun Ray around and thrust his tongue in his possession's mouth.

"Ray, nooooo!!!!*