Hiding

by Anon


M/M relationship.
Thanks to those who emailed. Comments are greatly appreciated. Now about that resolution a couple of you wanted, I do apologize but I'm not there yet.

I've had some major problems with this file and I hope it appears in a readable form.

Disclaimer: they're borrowed, no harm intended.


Fraser had experienced several delays on the trip back to Chicago. Maria was waiting at the airport as she had said. Even from a distance, he thought she looked almost as stressed as he had sounded when she called him.

"Benton? How was your trip?"

"Fine, Maria." He couldn't remember very much about the trip itself, only his constant effort to control his panic and wondering why he seemed to have lost all sense of time. Nothing after leaving the hotel was very clear to him, but he remembered leaving thinking the trip would never end.

Maria looked at him closely and noticed his struggle to remain controlled. She wondered briefly why he worked so hard at it. She took his arm and pulled him away from the crowd to some seats against a wall. "Benton, are you all right?"

"Yes, thank you. Maria, what happened?"

She sighed and looked at him again before answering. "Benton wouldn't you rather wait to talk until we get to the car?"

"No, thank you Maria." Always so strangely polite, she thought.

When she spoke, she was brief and he thought she was being little vague. "We don't know what's wrong yet exactly, Benton. I'm sorry. He's at home, though. They didn't keep him in the hospital. Ma said he had already refused to stay, even before they decided he wouldn't need to. Apparently he didn't have a concussion either. Ma said his blood pressure was a little low and they were worried about the weight loss. Ray wouldn't tell them much and she didn't know what to tell them except that he fainted and was complaining of feeling achy and he had been too ill to work. She said they wanted an HIV test, but he was tested recently for work, you know? There were other blood tests though. We won't know what's wrong with him until Tuesday." She paused, then continued. "Maybe not then. Ma said there would probably be more tests. He has an appointment with his own doctor on Tuesday and we should have a better idea after that. But, Benton, he's really fighting the whole thing, he says he's fine."

"Why will it take until Tuesday?" He bit the inside of his lip, but otherwise showed little response.

"The office is closed on the weekend and I guess that's just how long it will take for him to be ready to see Ray. I'm sorry, Benton." She looked down and then back at him. "Are you ready to go?"


It began raining on the way to the Vecchio house. Even though it was early in the morning when they arrived, Mrs. Vecchio was waiting up for him. She met them at the door and hugged him.

"Benton. I'm sorry, caro. I was concerned about having Maria call you, but I thought you might want to come back." She took his hand and pulled him all the way inside. "Raimundo is asleep. I thought you could stay in the guest room for now, so we won't wake him, and tomorrow you can stay with Raimundo. Is that all right?"

He blushed slightly, but didn't look away from her. "Yes, ma'am." Apparently they were spending the weekend with the Vecchios, he thought.

"Have you had anything to eat, Benton? I know it's late, but I'd like to talk to you. Maybe we could talk while you eat."

He hesitated. "I don't remember. Oh, no I didn't eat. But I'm not really hungry. Thank you anyway."

"Come with me, Benton." She took his hand again and led him into the kitchen where she gave him tea and some soup. He ate most of it and then she gave him essentially the same information he had received from Maria. But she added something Maria had only mentioned indirectly.

"I don't think he is telling everything, Benton. I think he's hiding something. Has he mentioned anything to you?"

"No, ma'am. When I've asked him why he isn't eating he tells me he isn't hungry or he doesn't like his food. He refuses to discuss it. He hasn't said anything to me." He looked at the table and quietly turned his empty cup.

She sighed. "I don't know how to get him to tell me, Benton. Will he tell you? If you ask?"

"I doubt it, but I'll try." He looked at her, then stared at his cup again. "He is very ill, isn't he?"

She took his hand away from the cup and held it, then she pulled his chin up with her other hand. "I think probably he is, caro. We'll have to wait to be sure."

She saw his face register fear and then his effort to suppress it. She continued. "The doctor in the emergency room told me Raimundo needs to gain weight."

"Yes, I've noticed. Maria mentioned that too."

"Yes, caro. And if he . . . he needs to gain some weight and he has to start eating. Do you understand?"

"Yes ma'am." She watched the struggle on his face and she wanted to help, but didn't know what to say. "Why don't you sleep for a while, Benton? I have your room ready and you can stop by Raimundo's room first. Yes?"

"All right. Thank you."


He couldn't sleep and at seven-thirty he got up. He had done nothing for the few hours he had been in bed but let his imagination terrify him. He showered, dressed, then went into Ray's room and sat in a chair by the window. He was beginning to wonder if it would ever stop raining and he wondered why he was annoyed by it. He hated the sound and the color and the confined feeling. It was irrational, he thought. Dief had greeted him when he entered the room, but had quickly gone back to sleep in a corner. He sat drawing patterns in the moisture on the inside of the window until he heard Ray move on the bed.

"Benny?" Ray sat up and rubbed his eyes. Fraser moved to sit on the bed.

"Hi, Ray." He stroked his hand lightly across Ray's cheek, then kissed him briefly on the lips.

"Ma told me you were coming back. I don't understand why. You would've been here on Monday anyway. Thatcher will be pissed, Benny. You shouldn't have done that. I'm fine now." He stared at Fraser.

"I was worried about you and I couldn't have stayed in Ottawa after Maria called me. I called the Inspector, she isn't angry. She was nice about it, really. She even offered me some time off."

Ray looked doubtful. "Yeah but, Benny, I'm fine." He hesitated and appeared anxious. "Did you talk to Ma, Benny?"

"Yes, Ray."

"I'm fine, Fraser. Okay? Everything's fine."

Fraser tried to smile. "Okay. Do you mind if I spend the weekend here anyway?"

"Of course not, Benny." Ray leaned forward and hugged him, they kissed again. Then Ray slid out from under the blankets to get up.

"Ray, why don't you just stay there?"

"I can get up if I want to Fraser. I told you, all right now." He was beginning to sound angry.

"Okay, Ray."

"Sorry, Benny. It's just, yesterday was kinda long and I got tired of lying down. You know? I want to get up. If I feel bad later, I'll lie down again. Please, Benny. You can watch me to make sure I don't hit the ground, if it makes you happy."

Fraser put an arm around him. "All right, Ray. I think your mother has breakfast waiting. Would you like to go eat?"

"Yeah, Benny, I guess. I wanna change clothes first though. It's cold."


They spent most of Saturday afternoon in Ray's room, with Ray trying to avoid his family. They sat on the bed, Fraser leaning against the headboard and Ray sitting with his back against Fraser's chest. He had been reluctant to press Ray for information, but his conversation with Mrs. Vecchio and Ray's behavior before he left for Ottawa left few options. Being too insistent would only lead to more evasions from Ray, Fraser thought, and he didn't want to make Ray angry. He put his arms around him and took a deep breath before beginning the conversation.

"Ray?"

"Yeah, Benny?"

"I need to ask you a question and I want you to answer it."

"I'll try, Fraser. What is it?" Fraser thought he sounded uncomfortable with the idea.

He stroked Ray's arm and pulled him a little closer. "When I asked you about the bruises on your arm and leg and you told me you tripped over Dief, but what happened exactly?"

Ray shifted, but did not respond immediately. He sighed. "Why do you wanna know, Benny?"

"I think you know why, Ray."

"If I tell you, are you going to tell the doctor on Tuesday?"

"Yes, probably." Fraser kissed his neck and continued stroking his arm.

Ray sighed again. "I was playing with Dief and that squeeky thing he likes when you were at the library Sunday and I fell over a chair, like I said."

"You fainted?"

"No. I thought I was going to, but I didn't. I was never unconscious, Benny. Do you believe me?" He sounded uncertain.

"Yes, Ray, I believe you. But, why didn't you say something then?"

"I don't know. Can't we just sit here Benny, this is nice. Do we have to talk about this?"

"Not much. But, I would like to know why you didn't tell me you weren't feeling well. I wouldn't have left if you had said something. What else happened, Ray?"

"Nothing else happened, Benny. I didn't think I was sick. I'm not sick. Just tired, that's all." He sighed. "You don't believe me, do you Benny? I know Ma doesn't believe me."

"I believe you, Ray. I think your mother believes you may not be telling everything, but she doesn't think you are lying. You've been tired a lot lately, haven't you? Please tell me the rest, Ray."

"It's just stuff that goes with being tired, Benny. It's not a big deal. I don't know why you and Ma are so worried. Sometimes I have headaches and I feel achy . . . you know, like sore. That's all, Fraser. Can we drop it now?" Ray shifted, annoyed by the continued questions. Fraser decided it was time to stop questioning him, but he was more convinced now that Mrs. Vecchio was right, Ray was hiding something. He did not believe Ray would intentionally lie to him, but he felt certain he was leaving something out. He kissed Ray's neck and held his hand, rubbing the fingers slowly.

"All right, Ray." Ray leaned his head against Fraser's shoulder.

"I'm sorry about all this Benny. I'm sorry you came back from Ottawa for no reason. Don't worry so much."

Fraser thought he would suffocate, again. He felt the increasingly familiar stinging of his eyes. "You have no reason to apologize, Ray. I'm the one who should apologize to you. I knew something was wrong and I didn't want to see it. I kept telling myself everything was fine. I'm sorry. I should have forced the issue and I should not have left. I'm sorry, Ray."

"You don't have any reason to be sorry. Everything's okay, Benny. It'll be back to normal in a few days, just like I told you before you left. You didn't do anything wrong. Okay?"

Fraser closed his eyes, but couldn't stop the stinging. He tightened his grip on his partner and whispered, "Okay, Ray."


Dinner was never like this, Ray thought as he sat at the table Saturday evening. There was none of the usual Vecchio noise. No one was arguing, there had been almost total silence, even Maria's children were quiet. What was wrong with them? Why were they all watching him? They had been watching him from the moment they arrived at the table. He wasn't eating and everyone had noticed that too. How could he eat when he was the center of all this silent attention. Finally his mother spoke.

"Raimundo, you aren't eating. Would you like something else?"

"No, thanks Ma. This is fine." He took a few bites, then put his fork down. He felt every gaze on him and now he was reluctant to look up at all. He couldn't take this much longer.

Franny noticed his discomfort. "Maybe he could eat later Ma."

"Raimundo, try to eat a little now. If you want, I'll get you something else later. You need to eat, caro. Are you feeling sick?"

"What's wrong, Ray?" Maria's turn.

"Raimundo, I think you should go lie down. I'll bring you something later." His mother was obviously worried beyond all reason, he thought.

"Nothing is wrong." Fraser heard the anger building in his voice. He put his hand on Ray's leg. Ray put his elbows on the table, leaned forward and rubbed his head with his hands. He sat for a few seconds, no one said anything, but they continued watching him. He couldn't take it any longer. When he spoke again, he was almost shouting. "Why are you staring at me? Why are you treating me like this? Don't any of you have anything better to do with your time?" He stood suddenly and dropped his napkin on his plate. "What do you think is gonna happen? So, I was a little sick yesterday. So what? Can't you see I'm fine now? Are you waiting to see me drop face first into my dinner, 'cause it won't happen. God, you must be bored!" With that he left the room and headed for the stairs.

A few moments of stunned silence passed. Fraser looked around briefly, then said, "Excuse me." He left to look for Ray.

He found him in his bedroom, standing in front of the window, hugging himself. He walked behind Ray and put his arms around him and felt him shiver. Fraser wanted to get a blanket, but he was afraid to let go. "Ray? It's okay. Talk to me."

Ray shuddered slightly. "I'm sorry, Benny. I couldn't handle it. They're all acting so weird. What's wrong with them? I can't leave my room without somebody offering to get me something, or asking how I feel, or telling me I look tired and I should go lie down. Why can't they find something else to do? They're overracting. It's stupid. Can't we go to your apartment, Benny? Please?"

Fraser held him tighter. "If you want to leave, we can. You don't have to stay here if you aren't comfortable. But, they didn't mean to upset you, Ray. They're just worried about you. We all are."

"Benny, I hate this."

"I know, Ray." He noticed Ray's shivering increase. "Are you cold?"

"Yeah." Fraser led him toward the bed and they sat on the edge. He put a blanket around Ray and then put his arms around him again.

"Is that enough, Ray? Do you need another one?"

"No, that's fine, Benny."

Someone knocked on the door and they heard Mrs. Vecchio's voice, "Raimundo, Benton, may I come in?"

"Yeah, Ma." Ray answered.

Mrs. Vecchio walked in and closed the door behind her. She looked at them without saying anything for a moment before moving to the bed. "May I sit down Raimundo?"

"Yeah, Ma. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled like that." He looked at his lap as she pulled a chair to the bed and sat down across from them.

"Don't worry, caro. We won't do it again. I understand why you were uncomfortable. I'm sorry, Raimundo. I promise, we'll try to go back to normal." She leaned forward and put her hand on his cheek, pulling his face up. She smiled. "I can tell Maria and Francesca to argue, if you'd like."

He laughed a little. "No, that's okay, Ma."

"Can you eat a little now, caro? I'll bring you something. What would you like?"

He sighed. He was getting too tired to fight it. "Yeah, Ma. Whatever you want to bring is fine. And I'm thirsty."

She stood and kissed him on the cheek. "I'll get it, Raimundo."

When she had left, Fraser wrapped the blanket a little tighter.

"I'm tired, Benny. Maybe we can leave tomorrow."

He kissed him on the cheek. "If you want to, Ray."


Ray had been restless almost from the time they got in bed. Fraser thought he had fallen asleep at one point, but he wasn't certain. He didn't want say anything, in case Ray was sleeping.

"Benny?" Ray whispered.

"Yes, Ray? What's wrong?" Fraser sat up and looked a him.

"I don't feel well. I'm cold and I can't get comfortable."

"May I turn on the light, Ray?"

"Yeah."

He turned on the lamp by the bed and then put two more blankets on Ray. "Is that better?"

"I think so, Benny. Thanks."

"Ray, is anything else wrong? I need to know." Ray saw Fraser's worried look again, Fraser was frowning slightly and rubbing his eyebrow with his thumb. At the moment it was more like fear, Ray thought. Benny really needed to calm down, this was getting out of hand. He was afraid to tell Fraser anything more, he didn't need to give Benny any useless information to take to the doctor on Tuesday to prolong this harassment. He was determined to get out of that appointment and he couldn't do it if he couldn't convince everyone he was over whatever had been wrong with him yesterday. He just wanted things to go back to normal and that would not happen if he couldn't get Benny to believe he was all right. If everyone would just wait a few days and stop insisting he was sick, everything would go back to normal. Ray smiled, trying to look reassuring.

"No, Benny. I'm just cold and uncomfortable." He paused, looking at Fraser. "Hold me, Benny?"

Fraser got back under the covers and pulled him close. Ray's head dropped onto Fraser's shoulder and Fraser stroked his back. "Are you all right now?"

"I'm okay, Benny."

"Will you let me know if you're not, or if you need anything else?"

"Yes." If he could get warm and get Fraser to calm down, he could handle the rest of it, he thought.

Fraser kissed the top of Ray's head. "Try to go to sleep, Ray." Ray nodded. Fraser leaned into the pillow to keep his tears from touching Ray's head and tightened his hold.


Ray seemed to be feeling better Sunday morning, Fraser thought. Mrs. Vecchio had left their breakfast in the kitchen, then she had gone to church with the rest of the family and they were alone in the house. After breakfast they sat at the table. When he finished his food, Dief took what was becoming his usual spot on top of Ray's feet. Ray looked at Benny, wondering what he could do to get things back the way they should be today.

"Benny?"

"Yes, Ray?"

"Wanna go to a movie later?"

Fraser hesitated. "I don't know about that Ray. Maybe we should just stay here?"

Ray tried to remain calm, to keep from appearing too impatient. He didn't want to look desperate, or anxious. "C'mon, Benny. I haven't been out of the house since Friday and I'm beginning to feel like a prisoner. I feel fine. It's just a movie, that's all." He picked up a section of newspaper and waved it at Fraser and smiled. "We can pick one out now. I'll even let you choose, as long as it doesn't involve too many wild animals and a lot of frozen shit."

Fraser laughed. "We'll see after lunch, Ray."

Ray was determined. "No, Benny. I'm getting out of here today with or without you. If you want to babysit me, you'd better agree to a movie now." He smiled, but Fraser knew he was serious.

"I'm not babysitting you, Ray. I don't want you to feel as if I am. All right, I'll go with you." He didn't see an alternative. He couldn't hold Ray in the house against his will, there were laws against that.


Ray had seemed all right during the movie, Fraser thought. He had squirmed a little, but he hadn't appeared ill. And he hadn't put up a fight over Fraser's insistence on driving. On the way back to the Vecchio house, his mood seemed to change a little.

"I don't want to go home yet, Benny. I guess we don't have a choice about staying with Ma right now since she's gonna worry whenever I'm out of her sight, but I'm not ready to go back."

"Where do you want to go, Ray?"

"I don't know, not home though. We could get coffee."

Fraser frowned slightly. "Don't you think we've been out long enough, Ray? You're going to get too tired . . ." As soon as he'd said it he realized it had been a mistake.

"No, Frasier, I don't think we've been out too long. I'm an adult, remember? I'm allowed to be out past eight-thirty." He looked at Fraser. "Aren't I, Benny?"

Fraser didn't miss the point. He knew his worrying was annoying Ray and he was becoming concerned that if he didn't back off a bit, Ray would decide to go out without him. The idea of Ray being out alone worried him more even than Ray beoming ill while they were out together.

"I'm sorry, Ray. I didn't mean to seem demanding, or too protective. If you aren't ready to go home yet, that's fine with me. Where would you like to stop?"

Ray looked at him. This wasn't working very well, he thought. Benny wasn't convinced he was feeling better. He understood Benny wasn't doing it intentionally and maybe he had given him something to worry about a few weeks ago, but this had to stop soon. He only had one more day to prove to Benny and his family that he was not ill. He didn't want to fight with all of them on Tuesday, especially Benny, but he would if he had to. He couldn't let them keep watching him and checking up on him. Franny followed him every time she found him outside his bedroom and his mother wouldn't leave him alone about eating. Neither would Benny. He rememberd suddenly that Benny never could remember children's stories, unless they had Inuits in them. Ray wondered if Benny would know what he meant if he told him he felt like a lead character in "Hansel and Gretel," waiting for Benny and Ma to decide he was ready for the oven. No, probably not. Or, if he did understand he would respond with, "Well, that's just silly, Ray." Ray smiled a little at the thought, but he decided not to bring it up. He knew where there was a coffee shop nearby, they could stop there and he could show Benny nothing was wrong.


"See, Benny, I told you nothing would happen if we escaped for a while." They had been back for several minutes and in Ray's room again. Fraser had noticed that Ray's mood, at least, had improved. He put an arm around Ray's waist and led him to the bed.

"All right, Ray. I'm sorry, I'm just worried about you."

Ray smiled at him. "Yeah, I know, Benny. But there's no reason to be worried. Okay?"

"Ray, you haven't been feeling well and it isn't exactly usual for you to faint and need to be taken to the emergency room." He kissed Ray lightly on the lips, then pulled him closer for a longer kiss. He pulled away a little and slid his tongue across Ray's bottom lip.

Ray decided it was time for a change of subject. "Benny, are you ready for bed?"

"Of course, Ray, if you're sleepy." Ray looked at Fraser, he seemed entirely serious. Ray wondered what was wrong with him.

"No, Benny, I wasn't planning on sleeping." Ray smiled, but he immediately noticed Fraser's hesitation.

"Oh. Ray, maybe we should wait . . . just until . . ."

"No, Frasier, we should not wait! Unless of course, you don't want to make love, then forget it." He could see Ray's growing anger and he also sensed he had hurt him.

"Of course I want to, Ray. I didn't mean that. I . . . will you tell me if you aren't feeling well?" Fraser sighed. He kept his hold on Ray. "I want to Ray." He pulled Ray in for another kiss, then moved to his neck.

"Okay, Benny. If it makes you happy, I'll tell you. Okay?"

"All right, Ray."


Fraser woke early on Monday morning, he showered, dressed and left Ray in his room sleeping. After finishing part of the breakfast Mrs. Vecchio insisted he eat, he left a message with her to let Ray know he had gone to the Consulate, but he wouldn't be gone long.

When he arrived at the Consulate, he saw Turnbull sitting in the outer office. Fraser had forgotten Ovitz was away this week. Just as well, he thought. He noticed Turnbull staring at him and assumed it had something to do with his clothes. He had left the Vecchio's house that morning wearing a white sweater and jeans, rather than his uniform. He must have looked odd, he thought.

"Constable Fraser, you're in Ottawa." Turnbull continued staring at him.

"Apparently I am here, Turnbull. Is the Inspector in?"

"Yes sir." More staring.

Fraser was struggling to hide his irritation and impatience. "Would you please ask her if she can see me briefly."

"Yes, sir." He informed the Inspector that Fraser was asking to speak with her. He was expecting a response from Turnbull, but Thatcher immediately opened the door.

"Come in, Fraser." He followed her into her office, feeling Turnbull's stare as he walked through the door.

"Inspector, thank you for seeing me. I apologize for the way I'm dressed . . ." He had become very conscious of it in the last few minutes.

She sat back down behind her desk and glanced at him. "That's fine, Fraser. You aren't working today. Sit down." He sat in the chair across from her desk. "I assume you need to discuss time off? How is Detective Vecchio?"

"Yes, please, Inspector. I. . . ah . . . Detective Vecchio seems to be feeling better at the moment. He has an appointment with his doctor tomorrow." She had noticed his reluctance to discuss what had happened and interrupted him.

"I know about Detective Vecchio, Fraser. I spoke to Lieutenant Welsh this morning." She hesitated at his surprised expression. "Don't worry Fraser, your name did not come up in anything other than a professional context. I called to discuss a file from one of your cases which actually involved a Canadian and I mentioned that I had heard Detective Vecchio wasn't feeling well. He told me what had happened and a little of what Mrs. Vecchio had told him. I hope you don't mind."

He wondered why she was being so helpful, she wasn't quite friendly, but she was close to it. "No, sir, I suppose not."

She looked at him, opened her mouth as if to speak, then stopped. Then she said, "Fraser, I want to make it clear that anything you say to me during this conversation will remain confidential." She hesitated again and he shifted in his seat. "I will not ask you about the nature of your relationship with Detective Vecchio because I do not wish to involve myself in your personal life. However, if you wish to provide me with that information, I will attempt to use it to your benefit. Understood?"

Use it to his benefit? What did that mean? He bit the inside of his lip and wondered how to respond. "Not exactly, sir, no."

"I meant, Fraser," She was beginning to sound annoyed, but controlled it quickly, "that I will provide you with some lenience regarding your time away from the Consulate, should you need it, if your relationship with Detective Vecchio would dictate that."

He sat silently wondering what she meant. Apparently she was willing to give him time off, if that should be necessary. Why was she willing to be more lenient than she might be otherwise. If his relationship with Ray . . . Oh. How was he going to answer that? Ray probably would not want him to tell the Inspector about their relationship, but she seemed to know already. So had the Vecchios. She had said she would keep it confidential. Was there a choice? He thought not.

"Yes ma'am. I believe your understanding of my relationship with Detective Vecchio is correct." He couldn't think of a less direct way to express himself and she certainly wasn't getting to the point.

He thought he saw her smile, almost. "Understood, Fraser. Take this week off and we can talk after that." With that she stood and it seemed it was time for him to leave. He got out of his chair and followed her to the door. She stopped before opening it and turned to look at him. "I'm sorry, Fraser. I hope Detective Vecchio is feeling better soon."

"Thank you Inspector." She opened the door, he stepped outside, and she closed it before he could turn around again.


When he returned, everyone was gone except for Mrs. Vecchio, Ray, and the children who were too young to be in school. He found Ray downstairs watching television.

"Hi, Benny. You could've gone to work today, if you wanted." Ray had thought about going to work himself, but he knew his mother would try stop him and he was afraid Welsh would have sent him home anyway. If he had by some miracle managed to escape his mother and Welsh, he knew Fraser would have come to the precinct to get him. He didn't feel up to fighting them all off and he was still extremely tired, but working might have helped keep him get out of the doctor's appointment tomorrow.

"Why would I do that, Ray? I have the week off." He rushed to explain before Ray said anything. "The inspector offered and I didn't want to turn her down. I thought it was best not to question her too much." He smiled.

Ray looked at him, he realized there was more to the story but it was another of those things he didn't want to get into right now. "Okay, Benny. I won't ask. It's never a good idea to turn down free time, I guess."

"No, Ray, I suppose not." Fraser sat next to him and put his arm around him. "May I watch with you?" He leaned forward to reach Ray's lips and they kissed briefly.

"Yeah, Benny, of course you can."

Ray smiled and leaned against Benny to watch television, but he was beginning to worry about how he would handle his family and Fraser. He was tired of being watched, even though he did enjoy having Benny here all of the time. He couldn't seem to find a way out of this. Getting sick at the precinct had started all of it, but he could have controlled that. He could've squirmed out of keeping the appointment his mother had made too, but then she caught him. She walked in on him after he had fainted and that had changed everything. Now they were all watching him and he would have more of that to contend with if he didn't do something. If he let Benny and his mother drag him off to his doctor tomorrow, like they planned, he would have more of this weird behavior to put up with. He was certain of that. He wasn't going back to the hospital for any reason and there was no way in hell he would have more tests. He was an adult. Wasn't he? He could make his own decisions and control his own life. But, he didn't want Benny to leave. He didn't think he could handle that. Would Benny leave if he didn't play along? He was afraid to push too far. He was beginning to feel trapped.