Rated R
Disclaimer: the usual: don't own 'em, not making money off 'em,
don't sue me.
********************************************************
Pain. Then light. Then voices.
"Benny, Benny, are you all right? Can you hear me
buddy?" "Constable Fraser, can you hear us? Call an
ambulance Detective Vecchio!"
"I did Inspector. Why don't you back up and give him some
air?"
"I'd like to remind you, Detective, that he's one of my
officers, under my command."
Something wet touches my face. A tongue? Diefenbaker's, I hope.
Ray and Inspector Thatcher continue to fight over me. I open my
mouth and try to form words. "Ray. ," I manage.
Ray Vecchio grabs my hand and says reassuringly, "I'm right
here, Benny. You're gonna be okay. I called 911. An ambulance
should be here in a few minutes."
Confusion. How can there be 911 in the wilderness? "What
happened?" I whisper.
"You got hit by a drunk driver, while trying to push a
little old lady out of the way," Ray tells me.
"Don't talk," Inspector Thatcher orders. "You need to
save your strength."
Nothing makes sense. Little old ladies and drunk drivers? I was
in a dogsled with Ray. Ray! "Ray, where's Ray?"
"I'm here, Benny. Hang in there, pal."
"No," I gasp, "Where's Ray?"
I struggle to sit up. Not one of my better ideas. Pain and nausea rip
through me, and I sink back down to to the comforting
stillness of the asphalt. In the distance I hear a siren.
Darkness comes.
The smell of antiseptic. More Voices; Ray Vecchio, Inspector
Thatcher, Lt Welsh, Francesca. No Ray. Why isn't he here? I open
my eyes and try to make sense of my surroundings. I'm in a
hospital room. My friends and superior officers are arguing over
who will stay with me. I'm touched, but there is a more important matter
to attend to.
"Excuse me," I say. No one pays me any attention.
"Excuse me," I repeat louder. They all turn in my
direction. "Where's Ray? Was he hurt in the accident?"
Ray Vecchio rushes forward. "I'm fine Benny. I'm not the one who
threw himself in front of a speeding car to save a bag
lady."
The others gather around my bed. Francesca puts her hand on my
knee. I close my eyes briefly, wondering why no one seems to
understand me. "No Ray, where's Ray?"
"Get a doctor, he's delirious," Francesca squeals.
Ray bends down and gazes into my eyes. "What are you talking about
Benny."
Slowly, I try to explain. "Ray Kowalski. Where is he? The
last thing I remember is the two of us heading off in a dogsled
to find the Hand of Franklin reaching for the Beaufort Sea."
"He is delirious," Inspector Thatcher comments.
"Shut up," Ray snaps. "I don't know a Ray
Kowalski. Is he one of your buddies from back home?" he asks me
gently.
"No," I answer. "He took your place when you went
undercover, Ray. Don't you remember? Then you came back and we
tried to capture Holloway Muldoon, but he shot you and Ray
Kowalski and I followed him back to Canada."
Concern fills Ray's eyes. "I don't know what you're talking
about, Benny. I haven't been udercover and nobody named Muldoon
has ever shot me."
"But. . but, I caught him, Muldoon. He killed my
mother."
"You told me that you're mother died of pneumonia," Ray says,
as confused as I am.
"That's what I thought, but then I found out that Muldoon
shot her."
My father appears beside me, shaking his head. "You must
have hit your head pretty hard, son. You know your mother died of pneumonia.
Don't you remember standing beside her bed when she
was dying?" he asks me.
I do remember. There wasn't a doctor in the village where we
lived, so dad had taken the dogsled out to find one. I held her
hand as she lay in the bed. It was so hot. I was so afraid.
I put my hand to my head. Why did I think that Muldoon shot her?
Everything is unraveling. I look at my friends. Francesca's hair
is long; so is Inspector Thatcher's. Two sets of memories clash
in my head. One of them crumbles. Ray Vecchio never went
undercover. Ray Kowalski never took his place.
There are tears in my eyes. Ray Kowalski never existed. The tears run
down my face. He never said he loved me, after we captured
Muldoon. He never said that he would never leave me, as everyone
else in my life has. He was just a dream.
Ray Vecchio is shaking me. His voice is full of fear as he asks,
"What's wrong Benny? Get a doctor! Get the damn
doctor!!"
****
They've all gone home. The doctors and nurses have finally given
me some peace. Even dad is gone back to, I don't know where. He
doesn't have an office.
My room is dark and quiet, but I can't sleep. I'm afraid I'll
dream of him. I'm afraid I won't dream of him. I don't know how
my mind could have made him up. He was so vivid, so real. Yet,
he's wasn't like anyone I've ever met before. Am I that desperate to
find someone, that I make up the perfect lover in my mind? I
guess so; there's no other explanation.
I'm all alone here. What do I do now?
the end
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