I had about four to six pages of this written, when my disk blew up
and I
lost it. I hope I can get the same feeling the other version
had. Grrr. I
hope it answers some of the questions I've had about RayK.
I started
season 3 with mixed emotions, glad that it was back, sorry to lose
DM.
But, as they say, life goes on. I have changed my entire life
a couple of
times, myself; and, although it is hard, it also brings new things
and
people, change can be good. I find myself really liking RayK.
He is a
much simpler soul than RayV, kinder in many ways. Certainly
suffering from
a low self esteem far greater than RayV's. I see RayV, upon
tackling Bruce
in ICBaD, asking him if he was stupid, rather than deaf. Just
MHO. Make
your own decisions. Here we go:
BTW, they don't belong to me. I would only want to keep them
if they were
real. Since they aren't, I'll give them back, none the worse
for wear
(this time), when I'm finished with them. I did use a real
person in this
(Thanks, Cheryl H.). No money will be made from this, etc.
etc. ad
nauseam. RI Eaton.
by TAE
A shadow crossed the desk of the man posing as Ray Vecchio, causing
him to
look up from the file he was perusing. He smiled upon recognizing
the man
who stood before his desk. "Hey, Fraser, how's it goin'?"
he asked,
leaning back in his chair and giving his full attention to his visitor.
"Good afternoon, Ray," the mountie replied.
Ray thought his friend seemed a little nervous, "What's up?"
"Ah, I was wondering," he shifted, "I was wondering if you could assist
me
in a, rather, uh, personal matter."
Definitely nervous. "Sure. Whaddaya need?" curious.
"I need, well I would like you to be a reference for me, for an apartment
I
found. They require three references..."
"Hey, no problem. Where do I sign?" Fraser handed him
a form to fill out.
Ray took the form and started writing, "do you want I should
get the
lieutenant to sign for you, too?"
Fraser noticed that Ray seemed to be having a bit of difficulty with
the
form, "No, thank you, that won't be necessary. The inspector
and H were
also willing to vouch for me." Ray returned the filled out
form to him.
He noticed that Ray's spelling was atrocious, but made no comment.
Ray returned his attention to the file he had been reading, the statement
of a victim. He looked puzzled. "Fraser, what's a
e..." he gave up
trying to pronounce the word, and, instead, pointed at the word,
turning
the folder for Fraser to see.
"Egregious." Fraser pronounced for him, "It means 'conspicuously
bad'. As
in 'the politician's egregious behavior.'" Noting Ray's puzzled
frown,
"Ray, do you have trouble reading?" he asked gently, so as
not to appear
threatening.
"I read OK." Defensive. "I just don't know a lot of big words."
Fraser nodded. "Understood." He looked Ray in the eye.
Ray blushed. Looking around, to see if anyone might be paying
them any
attention, "Let's take this outside, OK?" Ray asked, standing.
By unspoken agreement, both men remained silent, walking to the small
park
located down the street from the police station. When they
had settled on
an out-of-the-way bench, they continued their conversation.
"You do have trouble reading, don't you, Ray?" It was really
more of a
statement than a question. "I've noticed your difficulty with
words,
before." How could he not? Even his comprehension of
colloquialisms oft
times seemed deficient, the fact that Ray hadn't known what posturing
was,
came immediately to mind.
"I do OK." Ray replied. "Like I said, I just don't know
a lot of big
words." Obviously uncomfortable.
"Ray, it's no disgrace to not be able to read well. There are
things you
can do to help yourself. Do you have a dictionary?" He
was careful to
keep any tone of disapproval from his voice.
"Yeah. Why?" cautious, unsure.
"You might consider just opening it at random, once in a while, and
read a
page, or two. It's an excellent way to increase your vocabulary
and
spelling."
Ray just hung his head, ashamed. "I..."
The pain in his eyes touched Fraser's heart, "Ray, have you
been tested
for dyslexia?"
Ray shook his head. "Nah, I see the letters OK, they just don't
always
make any sense."
"Do you ever read for pleasure, Ray?" kindly.
Ray shuddered. "Reading is never a pleasure." Defeated.
Fraser thought for several minutes, while Ray sat staring at the ground,
despondent. <now that he knows what a dummy I am, he won't
want to hang
around me, any more.>
"Ray, how did you do in school?" need more information.
"I hated school. I barely graduated." Straight D- average.
Fraser was puzzled. He knew from what he had seen and learned
about this
man, that he wasn't stupid. You didn't become a Detective First
Grade by
being stupid. For that matter, you didn't become a police officer,
or stay
one, by being stupid. "Where did you stand in your class at
the academy?"
Puzzled frown, "I dunno, somewhere in the middle. Why?"
"What did you get on your detective's exam?" pressing.
He didn't even have to think on that one, "93, why?" <where was this going?>
Surprised. "You got an 93 on the detective promotion exam."
Statement.
"The first time you took it?" Ray nodded. "As I recall,
anything over an
81 is going to get a promotion, correct?"
"How would you know that? You're not even American, let alone
a Chicago
cop." Confused.
"When I realized that I would be stationed here for the foreseeable
future,
I did some reading up on the area, and as I found myself more and
more
caught up with Ray" this Ray's eyes hit the ground, <poor
substitute,
aren't I> "I read up on the workings of the Chicago PD, determining
that it
could be useful in my dealings, here."
Ray nodded, refusing to look at him.
Fraser managed to hold back his aggravation at Ray's low self esteem.
That
was obviously part of the problem. "Ray, what I'm saying is
that you could
not have done so well at the academy nor on your detective exam if
you were
stupid."
Ray finally looked up at him. "Huh?" totally confused.
"Ray," Fraser sighed, exasperated, "I've never thought you were stupid.
You would never have become a detective, nor been asked to take on
your
current assignment, if you were stupid." The look he received
was almost
hopeful. "Ray, I have an acquaintance who, I believe, may be
able to help
you."
Ray shook his head, "I've tried. I took some classes?
They didn't do any
good. I came out just as dumb as when I went in."
"I wasn't thinking of you attending a class. I was thinking
of you
teaching a class."
Ray burst out laughing. "You gotta be kidding. I can barely
get through
my reports, and you want me to teach someone else to read?
Talk about the
blind leading the blind."
"I'm perfectly serious, Ray. I volunteer with a group that teaches
adults
to read. They are always looking for people to help.
I've discovered that
when I teach someone a skill I learn more about it, understand it
better
myself, by doing so." At Ray's expression of disbelief,
he added, "It
couldn't hurt; and it might just help. What do you have to
lose?"
Ray thought about it. This was the first conversation he'd ever
had with
anyone about his lack of reading skills where he didn't feel like
a
complete idiot. Fraser was right. He had nothing to lose,
and possibly
everything to gain.
"I'm going to be going to the learning centre tomorrow evening.
I could
call my acquaintance, tell her you were coming...?" encouraging.
"Well...." Nothing to lose, "OK. It couldn't hurt, right?"
Fraser smiled. "Pick me up at the consulate at 5:30, tomorrow?"
"Sure, no problem." He couldn't believe he was letting himself
in for
another failure, like this, "I gotta get back. Finish
that report." He
continued, standing.
"Understood." Rising, as well, "I'll see you tomorrow."
The two men nodded their good-byes and each went his separate way.
He couldn't believe he had let the Canadian talk him into this, he
was
thinking to himself as he parked his car in front of the learning
centre.
He was breaking out in a nervous sweat, just thinking about
it. The
building was imposing, frightening. Bringing back memories
of being
screamed at by unfeeling teachers. Being told he was stupid,
and believing
it.
"It will be all right, Ray. You'll like Cheryl, she's a very
nice lady."
Fraser said in encouragement.
"We'll see." <She'll take one look at me, and...> he
shuddered in
anticipation.
The building was eerily silent, when they entered. Fraser led
the way up
the stairs, down the hall and into a classroom. There
were twenty or so
students, most of whom appeared to be immigrants, who ignored them,
and a
lady up front who looked up at them with a smile of greeting.
"Class, I have some business to attend to, so I want you to write
in your
journals until I get back, then we'll resume your reading them to
the class."
The class got out their journals, and started writing in them.
Only a few
cast curious looks at the visitors.
She led them to her office, at the end of the hall. "Hi, my
name is
Cheryl. Ben told me he was bringing me a new volunteer."
Ben had told her
*all* about Ray, with the promise that she not let on about her knowledge.
She offered her hand.
"Uh, yeah. Hi. My name's Ray...Vecchio." Taking her hand.
Her handshake was firm and dry. His was firm and damp.
Nerves. She
decided. She smiled disarmingly. "So, Ben, here tells
me you're a cop?"
Get him talking.
"Uh, yeah. I'm a detective with the 27th District." He
was glancing
surreptitiously around the office. It didn't seem to be all
that scary.
There were nice pictures on the walls, and the desk looked even more
cluttered than his own. "What exactly did you have in mind,
for me to do?"
<Calm, boy. She's not going to bite you. I hope.>
"Well, I was thinking that I'd have you sit in with Ben for a couple
of
weeks so you can see what we do, and how we do it. Then I'd
give you a
class of your own. We are always in need of more volunteers.
A few of our
students have stayed on to teach, but mostly we're always in need
of help."
There are always more needing help than there are to help.
Ray's eyes
showed his fear.
"Uh, how big are the classes?" There were more than twenty people
in her
classroom. He'd never be able to handle that many. How
did he get himself
into this? There was no way he could possibly do them any good.
He
started to look around him, panic setting in. This was a school.
Any
minute now and she would realize what a dummy he was and...
"Ray?" She reached out and touched his arm. He jumped, "It's
all right,
Ray. The idea of teaching people is frightening to a lot of
people. We'll
make it easy for you. I'm just glad you were willing to come
in. We try
to keep the volunteer's classes down to four or five to start.
That way we
don't overwhelm them, and each student gets lots of personal attention."
The terror was easing in his eyes. She wondered what insensitive
lout had
destroyed his confidence so badly. This guy was a detective?
He
certainly didn't fit any picture she had of a cop. That's what
you get for
trying to pigeonhole people. No. Ben said he was a good
man, a good cop.
He just needed help. Time to draw him out some more.
Try to get him to
relax a little. From the look of him, that would take some
doing.
"A lot of the people we get in here are recent immigrants. They
vary from
totally non-English speaking to very fluent. The fluent mostly
need help
with the colloquialisms. At his puzzled look, she added "The
slang. It's
amazing how difficult it is to learn slang in a foreign country."
Ray grinned, slightly, looked at Fraser and said "Tell me about it.
I'm
good at slang. I speak street lingo pretty good. I don't
know about
people who don't speak any English. It's all I know."
Since he was
posing as an Italian-American, it wouldn't make any sense for him
to say he
spoke Polish, learned from his grandmother. Now she'd call him stupid,
and
send him on his way. He never should have given in to Fraser's
suggestion.
She could feel his tension. From his confidence level (none),
and his
speech mannerisms, she rated his reading level at sixth to seventh,
perhaps
eighth grade. An age when many students, especially boys, got
lost in the
system. Many had attention deficit disorders, many just got
bored, got
behind, and never caught up. She hated the public school system
that
processed students like feedlot cattle, push them through, no matter
what.
If many were left unable to cope, who cared? Their jobs were
secure. The
money the Federal Government gave them was based on how many bodies
were
pushed through the system. No one seemed to care that lives
were ruined by
not helping the students learn; just give them a D and pass them
on to the
next teacher, and get on with the new batch. Here was a prime
example. He
might have a learning disability, from what Ben had said, it seemed
mild,
but it would take a lot of tests to determine what and how severe.
Ray had
done well at the police academy, and had an excellent score on his
detective promotional exams. Yet, he could barely read or write.
Perhaps
he had been one of the bored ones, unchallenged, fallen behind and
gotten
lost. Have to wait and see.
The silence was making Ray fidget. He'd never been sent to the
office but
that silence meant bad things. And Fraser just sitting there
like a lump
didn't help, either. He was on his own here, and he was getting
ready to
panic, just like when he was in school.
"Why don't you go with Ben and see how we work? Ben's class
is an
intermediate group who all speak English. He's teaching them
sentence
structure...I'll let him show you."
"You said a couple of weeks sitting in. How many days a week
is that? I
sometimes end up stayin' late at work, on a case? What are
we talkin'
about, here?" I got one forty plus hour a week job, I don't
need another one.
"I volunteer two days a week, Ray. On Tuesdays and Thursdays,
two hours
per night." Fraser finally joined in.
"Oh. That's not too bad. I can maybe do that." If I can do it at all.
"We'll work something out. I don't want to scare off any prospective
volunteers. We couldn't continue without them." She smiled.
"Go along
with Ben, now. We'll meet again after class, see what you think,
OK?" she
stood, the men stood as well. She led the way out. She
turned right, to
go back to her class, they turned left to go to Fraser's.
It wasn't nearly as bad as Ray had feared. Fraser was working
on homonyms.
One of his students was getting frustrated,
"I do not understand. Why would a language have so many spellings
and
meanings for one word? It makes no sense!"
"That's one that's got a lot of people wondering. They even
got stuff to
help you remember which one is which. Here, I'll show you."
Ray had
gotten caught up in the discussion. He sat beside the puzzled
man.
"Look," he said as he took a sheet of paper and a pen, writing out
his
examples, "'They're taking their dog over there.' They are
taking their,
that's got an I in it to remind you that it means 'belongs to' I,
mine, got
it?" the man nodded, uncertainly. "Then there's there, that
means place,
it's got the word here in it, see?" Suddenly the man understood.
"Ah! I see! Now it makes sense. Thank you."
He said excitedly, then
turned to his wife, who had been having the same problem, and explained
it
to her as Ray had explained it to him, the explanation snowballing,
as
each person passed on the information. Soon all eight people
in Fraser's
class understood the usage and spelling.
Fraser was pleasantly surprised at Ray's means of remembering which
was
which, very promising. "Ray, do you have one of those for the
two, to, and
too?" He had been taught at home, and hadn't had to learn tricks
to
remember which was which.
"Sure, uh, let's see..." The class was utterly silent, as he
moved up to
the blackboard, to write the sentence. "Oh yeah" He wrote:
'I took two
friends to the movies, too.' I took, the number two, friends
to,
direction, the movies, also. That's what the extra o is for,
to remind you
it means that. The direction to, is like do, it goes with a
verb. Went
to, go to, come to, get to, stuff like that.
Cheryl was standing in the doorway, and heard his explanation.
"How about
peek, peak, and pique? Do you have one for them?"
Ray jumped, then blushed, he hadn't seen her come in. "Uh, I
only know two
of 'em, 'if you peek through the window and you are seen, the
person may
shout "eek"', that's how you remember the spelling; and the peak
of a
mountain, that has an 'A' in it, the point of the capital A reminds
you of
the point of the mountain. That's how I remember which one
is which."
Cheryl nodded her agreement.
Fraser joined in "The third one, p-i-q-u-e, has two meanings, one
is, uh,
to become annoyed, a 'fit of pique'; the other means to arouse,
as in
'pique your interest'. There is another word, spelled the same,
but
pronounced 'pe-kay' which is a type of fabric."
Ray shook his head "I've heard of a 'fit of pique', I just didn't
know how
to spell it." He suddenly smiled. "I learned a new word."
Maybe this
wasn't hopeless, after all.
Fraser noted the time. "Oh, sorry, class. We've exceeded
our time for
this evening. See you all on Tuesday? Try to find more
homonyms, and
we'll discuss them next time. Perhaps Ray has more examples
of how to tell
them apart." He looked hopefully at his friend. Ray shrugged,
uncertain.
Cheryl smiled, pleased. Ray might have problems, but his remembering
the
sayings to tell which word was which and their spelling, was very
promising.
The two men followed her back to her office. When they were
seated, she
looked at Ray. "So, how was your first class."
"Not as bad as I thought it was gonna be." He smiled, somewhat surprised.
She nodded. "So, are you interested in joining our little crew?
I can
really use the help."
Ray thought about it, unaware that the other two were holding their
breaths, waiting. Then, "Yeah. I think I can do this.
If tonight was any
example of how it works." He smiled shyly at them. "It
was kinda fun."
He didn't notice the two relieved exhales by his companions.
Cheryl smiled, relieved, "Great. Are you busy on Saturday?
Could we
perhaps get together, fill out the paperwork, discuss how this all
works?
Just a couple of hours is all we need."
Ray frowned. "I work Saturday. I don't get off until four-thirty.
Is
that too late?"
"No problem. Tell you what. Why don't you come over to
my place at about
six, six-thirty, I can fix dinner, and we can get the forms filled
out and
answer any questions you may have." And I can evaluate what
you need.
"OK. I can do that." It never occurred to him that this
could be
construed as a date.
Fraser was a bit non-plussed. He had been volunteering for several
months,
now, and had barely gotten her to go with him for coffee after class,
on
occasion. He recognized the unfamiliar feeling as jealousy
and firmly
tamped it down. This was about helping Ray, his friend.
Cheryl wrote down her address and phone number, in case something
came up.
As she handed him the note, she realized what she had just let herself
in
for. She had just invited a man she had just met, home for
dinner. To her
messy apartment. She had to work all day tomorrow at her regular
job
teaching hearing impaired children; fortunately she had no classes
tomorrow
night, which would give her tomorrow evening and most of Saturday
to clean,
shop, and fix dinner. What was she thinking?! "OK.
See you then." She
said, brightly, showing no sign of her inner turmoil.
The men rose, made their good-byes, and left her to her after class
work.
When they had gone, she buried her head in her hands. "Oh,
no. What have
I done?" she moaned .
Ray drove Fraser back to the consulate in silence. When he pulled
the car
up in front of the building, to let his friend out, he asked.
"So, what do
you hear on the apartment?" Fraser sighed. "I'm still
waiting. I turned
in the paperwork yesterday, after I saw you, and am expecting a call,
hopefully tomorrow." He looked at his friend. "What did
you think about
tonight?"
"It wasn't as bad as I thought. They actually understood what
I said.
That was cool." He seemed surprised, and, somehow, encouraged.
"Maybe I
can help them. But how's that gonna help me?" He asked,
looking at Fraser.
"Ray, when was the last time you thought about those words you used,
tonight? You remembered your trick for telling them apart,
and it worked
beautifully. I've been working on homonyms for two weeks with
that class
and hadn't gotten anywhere. You really were a big help."
He paused, how
to proceed? "You know a great deal more than you are aware
of, Ray.
Perhaps, by teaching others, you will remember things you already
know, but
are not aware that you know." He knew he was babbling, but
he felt he
needed to impress Ray with the fact that he wasn't stupid; that he
didn't
'suck', as he so often described himself.
Ray shrugged. "I dunno, maybe." Then he smiled at his
friend, "I know
that I'm learning a lot just hangin' out with you." Then a
troubled
expression came across his face, "You don't mind me askin'
you what words
mean, do you?" worried, <Am I buggin' you? Do you
want me to go away and
leave you alone? Do you want me to stop?>
"Not at all, Ray. It indicates a desire to learn. I would
never want to
squelch that, in anyone." He gave Ray one of his shy smiles,
"And you are
definitely learning. It was *you* who explained to the leftenant
what
'elucidate' meant, after all." <How can I help you?
I don't know what to
say to you that will help.> He sighed as he got out of the
car. "I'll see
you soon, Ray?" <Do you still want to be around me, after
I pushed you
into this?>
Ray nodded. "I got a stake out tomorrow, I'll be working late.
How about
Sunday?" <Do you want to hang around with a dummy like me?
Why? You got
lots of smarts, why would you want to hang around with a dummy, like
me?>
Fraser smiled, relieved. "That would be nice, Ray. Perhaps
we could go
somewhere, a hockey game, perhaps?" hopeful.
"I know where we can go *play* hockey. There's this bunch of
guys I know;
there's always a pick-up game on the weekends." At Fraser's
joyous smile,
the one that lit his eyes like beacons, "I'll pick you up at ten,
OK? Then
we can go, play, have lunch, play...?"
<OK, Cheryl. Get a grip. He'll be here in two hours.
Dinner takes three
hours to cook, it's in the oven. The apartment is...well, cleaner.
I need
to mop the kitchen and dining room floors, the paperwork is all set
out in
the living room. The cat box has been changed, the bird cage,
ditto. The
dog's had a bath. What else. > She paced her small apartment,
checking
and rechecking. Nervous as her cat. She was forgetting
something
important. What could it be? "Shower!" The
apartment was ready, she had
to get *her* ready. She quickly finished mopping her floors,
and rushed to
get herself presentable. She still couldn't believe she had
invited him
over. Sure, he was cute. But Ben, Oh, Ben.
He was simply drop dead
gorgeous. And she had hardly even given him the time of day.
She had only
gone for coffee with him a couple of times. He was sweet, polite
(of
course, he's Canadian), fantastic blue eyes, nice smile. Nice
man. Shy.
Well, so was she. That was why she was going nuts trying to
figure out
what she could have been thinking of to invite Ray over for dinner.
It
wasn't as though she was even that great a cook. If she didn't
have a
recipe she was helpless.
She scrambled to get dressed, he was due in twenty minutes.
She hoped he
was the *on-time* type, rather than the horribly early, or perennially
late
sort. She brushed her shoulder length, straight, dark chestnut
hair,
smoothing it down. Oh, good, no fly-away frizzies today.
She checked her
watch, ten minutes, looked one last time in the mirror, OK, she was
ready.
There was a knock at the front door. PANIC
He had thought about calling and canceling, he couldn't believe he'd
agreed
to come here. But, after today, he could use some company.
It had started
out, all right, just a continuation of the stake-out of the previous
night.
But one of the guys had been spotted, and the subject had panicked
and
opened fire. In the ensuing fire fight, two officers had been
shot, and
three civilians. He'd been there, on the firing line.
He saw the kids,
and had tried to reach them in time. He was too late.
He had managed to
pull the three kids to cover and tried to stop the bleeding.
They were
alive when they got to the hospital, but he hadn't heard a word,
since.
That had been three hours ago. He had typed his report,
placed it on the
lieutenant's desk, gone home, showered (he could still feel and smell
the
blood of those kids), changed, and here he was. He knew he
was still
running on adrenaline and would eventually crash. He didn't
want to be out
when it happened. He also didn't want to be alone. He
needed to get this
meeting over with as soon as possible, so as to not embarrass himself
nor
frighten the pretty teacher. He gathered his courage and knocked
at her door.
This is business. I can do this. She opened the door.
He looked tired.
There was a sad slump to his shoulders, and a haunted look in his
eyes.
"Hi. Come on in." She took his jacket, and hung
it on a rack by the door,
then led him into the living room. "Have a seat." She told
him, indicating
the couch. He slumped down. Leaned back and rubbed his
eyes, tiredly.
"OK. What do we need to do?" he asked, his exhaustion apparent.
"Are you all right, Ray? You look exhausted."
"Sorry. Bad day at work." I should have called.
Canceled. This sucks.
Seeing her curiosity, he figured he owed her an explanation. .
"You didn't
see it on the news?"
"I don't know, I haven't had the TV on." She resisted the urge
to turn it
on.
He nodded. "Yeah, well, I guess it's all over the news.
My phone at work
wouldn't stop ringing. We'd been watching this guy, drug dealer?
For the
last couple days. He spotted one of our guys this afternoon
and started
shooting." He paused, taking a deep shuddering breath. "The
guy started
shooting and our guys dove for cover. There were these three
kids caught
in the cross-fire..." he trailed off, his eyes closed, reliving
the whole
thing again. No matter how many times he ran the scenario,
he couldn't
figure any other way he could have played it. He wondered about
the kids.
Two of them had non-life threatening injuries, but the third, he
had a
severe chest wound. He'd been able to slow the bleeding, but
not stop it.
He glanced at her TV, wondering if it would be on the news.
He realized
that she had grasped his arm.
"What did you do?" worried.
"I started to duck, just like everybody else, when I saw the kids.
I ran
out to try to get them out of the way...I just wasn't fast enough."
He
needed to get out of here. He was going to lose it, and he
didn't want
this stranger to see him. "I'm sorry. I got to go."
<Run. Hide.> He
stood.
She saw the pain he was trying to hide. She rose with him, reaching
out to
stop him. "It's OK. I understand. Are you sure
you want to be alone? I
would think you'd want to talk about it. I'm here, I'll listen."
<Don't
go. You're hurting. I want to help.>
He stopped. Looked at her. His pain palpable. He
allowed her to draw him
back down onto the couch. "I grabbed them, and dragged them
to cover. I
put my gun down, and tried to stop the bleeding. One kid had
a bullet in
his thigh. Missed the bone, I think, I made him a pressure
bandage with
my belt. The second kid took a hit in the shoulder. I
got the first kid
to put pressure on it." He paused, taking a deep shuddering breath,
she
moved closer, her arm going around him, holding him. "The third
kid had a
chest wound. There was so much blood. I tried to stop
it, but all I could
do was slow it down. He was unconscious. I heard he made
it to the
hospital. That was over three hours ago. I haven't heard
anything since."
He could feel it coming; the aftereffects of the whole episode.
He
couldn't stop the shakes when they hit. He shut his eyes, tightly.
He
trembled like an aspen in a gale. Fighting to keep the tears
at bay. Losing.
She pulled the sobbing man into a close embrace. Holding him,
comforting,
caring. He clung to her, unable to control his reaction.
She held him,
rocking, soothing, "Shh, it's OK. You did your best.
Shh. Shhh."
They lost track of the time. Finally, he cried himself out.
She continued
to hold and rock him, until he was ready to break contact.
Eventually, he
pulled away.
"I'm sorry." He muttered hoarsely, wiping his still streaming
eyes. She
offered him a box of tissues, he took a couple, and wiped his face,
then
blew his nose. "I shoulda called you from the station, and
canceled. I'm
sorry." She gripped his shoulder, making him look at her.
"You would have done this alone? Or, is there someone..." embarrassed.
"Nah, I'm divorced. And, Yeah. I do this alone.
It's less embarrassing."
He hung his head in shame, "I'm sorry. I better go."
She held him down. He looked up at her. "You are not going
anywhere. We
have some forms to fill out, and then we're going to have dinner,
and..."
she looked at the clock, "I'll be right back."
She jumped up and ran to
the kitchen. Her wail of disbelief brought him running.
"Stupid. Stupid. Stupid! How can you do such a stupid thing,
Cheryl?
Aaugggh! " She looked up at Ray as he barreled into
the kitchen, and
blushed furiously. At his questioning look, she explained,
"I forgot to
turn on the oven." In a tiny, embarrassed voice.
She looked so helpless. He'd just cried all over her, and she
was upset
because she forgot to turn on the oven. The situation was priceless.
He
started laughing. At her hurt look, he tried to control himself,
to no
avail. When he finally could talk, "I'll trade you my day for
yours." And
she saw the humour. Then she started to laugh, as well.
"This takes three hours to cook. You can wait, or we can order
out." She
offered.
"How long does the paperwork take?" he queried.
"Fifteen, twenty minutes, tops." She replied.
He managed a grin. "Tell you what, why don't I order us a pizza?
It can
be here by the time we're through with the paperwork."
She nodded. "I'll just put this in the refrigerator, and maybe
cook it
tomorrow." Suiting action to words "If I can remember
how to operate an
oven by then." She added, ruefully. When she turned back
to him, he
wrapped her in a hug, kissing her cheek.
"Thank you. For earlier. I..." he didn't know how to finish.
She returned the hug. "That's all right. I'm glad I could
help." This
man was so much more complex than he at first appeared. He
acted like a
typical, tough-as-nails, cop, but, once you got past the barriers,
he had
the soul of a child, or a poet, she decided, noticing his almost
lyrical
movements, as he wandered around her living room, looking
at pictures,
smiling at her at odd moments, that shy, boyish smile.
The paperwork was
quickly taken care of; the explanations of how the classes were run,
what
he would be teaching (She decided to start him from the beginning,
with the
alphabet), and all the myriad details of their volunteer efforts.
When their pizza arrived, they sat in the living room, to eat.
Ray kept
glancing sadly at the TV in the corner. She gave in, and turned
on the
news. The two officers had already been released, two of the
boys were
going to be fine, and the word on the third boy was that he was still
in
surgery and critical. At least he was still alive. Ray
sighed in relief.
Then the reporter was talking about the officer who had risked his
own life
to try to save the boys and managed to rescue them. Ray's photo
appeared
on the screen, the one from his ID. They were calling him a
hero again.
He blushed, glad he hadn't been around for interviews. The
lieutenant
appeared on screen, giving facts, and background on the
hero du Jour.
"Wow. I've never eaten pizza with a real hero, before."
She batted her
eyelashes at him, teasing.
He turned a bright crimson. Nearly choking on his soda.
"Oh, yeah.
Right." He shook his head. "I'm no hero. Believe
me." She just smiled,
and touched his arm.
"And I'm a gourmet chef." She teased, eyes twinkling, pleased
that he had
recovered from his funk so easily. She was finding him fascinating;
and
sweet. Not at all what she had expected. She turned off
the TV. "So, Mr.
Hero, what would you like to do?" she blushed, <Oops should
not have said
that. At least not like that. What was he going to think?>
He smiled, brightly, "Do you dance?" hopeful, wistful.
She was surprised, that was definitely *not* what she had expected.
"A
little. I'm pretty much out of practice." <What kind
of dancing?>
"You got music?" he stood, looking at her stereo.
"Sure," she rose and showed him her CD collection. He went through
them,
finally finding something suitable. It was one of what she
thought of as
her 'romantic' albums, one featuring Nat King Cole, Bing Crosby,
and Frank
Sinatra. He put it on the player, adjusted the tone and volume,
then
turned to her, holding out his hand.
She hadn't danced a waltz since her senior prom. He was wonderful,
light
on his feet, confident, masterful. She had never considered
herself a
dancer, but he made her feel...good. His hands were warm where
they
touched her and she found herself swept up in the movement.
They didn't
stop until the CD ended nearly an hour later. She was exhausted.
So was
he. They collapsed together on the couch.
"Wow. I guess I've had my exercise for the week, now.
That was
incredible." She snuggled against him. She could hear his heart
pounding
from the exertion, not nearly as fast as her own, she was sure.
His arm
felt nice where it lay across her shoulders.
She was no Stella. For one thing, she was a lot shorter.
But she had a
natural grace. She fit well against him as they danced.
And she felt
wonderful, snuggled up against him, sitting on the couch. He
knew his
attraction had a lot to do with the events of the day. But
he didn't want
it to end. He noticed the clock on her mantle. "Oh, man.
It's after
midnight. I gotta get going." He gently disengaged from
Cheryl. "I'm
sorry. I..." he was at a loss for the right words.
He would like to
stay, but knew it would be a mistake.
So did she. She stood with him. "I had a wonderful time."
She smiled
bravely, wanting him to stay, knowing he shouldn't. "I didn't
know I still
remembered those dances." She was feeling awkward.
So was he. "I...I'd like to see you again, maybe take you out
dancing?
The Crystal Ball Room, maybe?" Hopeful.
She gave him a tentative smile. "I'd like that. Call me?"
<That was
dumb. Maybe he really wanted to see her again? As...as
what? What are
you expecting? You just met the man.> She walked him
to the door.
Turning to her on the threshold, "Thank you, for this evening."
He
hesitated, then reached out and engulfed her in a bear hug.
He whispered
in her ear "Thanks, especially for the cuddle, for making me stay,
for
being there." He tilted her chin up and kissed her.
Then he left. She stood in the doorway, watching him leave.
He still
looked tired; but somehow, it wasn't the same tiredness he had arrived
with. He *would* call her. Just the thought made her
feel all warm and
fuzzy, inside. That night she dreamed she was dancing.
Instead of going home, he went by the hospital to check on the kids.
He
found, in the waiting room, the parents of the critically injured
boy.
They recognized him from his picture on the news. The
man stood and
approached him. Ray was uncomfortable, not knowing how he would
be received.
"You're the police officer who saved our son." Statement. Fact.
Ray nodded. "I don't know if I saved him, but I did drag them
out of the
line of fire. I'm sorry. I just wasn't fast enough.
I saw what was
happening, and I just couldn't get there in time." He shook
his head, sadly.
The woman stood and joined them, her tear stained face smiling.
"If you
hadn't done what you did, Tommy would be dead now, instead of still
in
surgery." She reached out and touched Ray's arm. "Thank
you. No matter
what the outcome. You did your best and we thank you."
Just then, a doctor in surgical scrubs entered. "Mr. and Mrs.
Taylor?"
The couple nodded. "Tommy is in recovery. It has taken
us sixteen hours,
but I think we got all the repairs made." He smiled tiredly.
"It was
funny, he mumbled a few times while under the anesthesia, something
about
angels? That he would be good and keep breathing, please don't
send him to
hell, he was doing his best. Do you have any idea why he would
say such
things?"
The Taylors looked confused. Mr. Taylor said "Well, we are church
goers,
but I have no idea where he would get an idea like that." He
looked at his
wife, who just shook her head.
Ray blushed. "Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't think he could
hear me." At the
puzzled looks of the others, he tried to explain, "He was bleeding
real
bad, you know? He was kinda gasping for breath, and I started
yelling at
him to keep breathing, don't you dare stop breathing, damnit.
Stuff like
that. I..." he took a deep breath, "I wasn't really talking
*to* him, just
yelling to keep me going..." he trailed off, lost and confused and
deeply
embarrassed.
The doctor laughed. "Well it worked. When he was muttering
was when his
heart started fibrillating. We thought we were going to lose
him, a couple
of times. Then he'd talk about his angel, and everything would
steady. It
was amazing. I'll bet he'd like to meet his *angel* when he's
feeling
better." He turned back to the Taylors, "He's going to be in
recovery for
a couple of hours, then In ICU, until we know for certain.
It looks
promising. If he gets through the next twenty-four hours, I'd
say he
should make a complete recovery." He smiled, patted Ray on
the shoulder
and escorted the Taylors out.
His dreams started out with a waltz. But then the events of
the day crept
in. He was running, trying to reach the kids, and the blood....He
awoke
abruptly. Sitting straight up in bed in a cold sweat, breathing
hard, in a
panic. As the room came into focus around him, he drew his
knees up and
wrapped his arms around them, burying his face on his knees.
He trembled
from the aftereffects of his nightmare. By the time he was
back in
control, his alarm rang. Time to get up and prepare for the
day. It was
eight a.m.
"Take it!" Ray yelled as he passed the puck to Fraser, who caught
it, faked
right, then left, then sent the puck down the middle of the ice and
in for
a goal. The action had been fast and furious, with enough men
to actually
form two full teams with even a couple of extra guys for relief.
They had
been playing for nearly three hours, with occasional breaks for much
needed
rest. It was time for one such break following Fraser's goal.
"I was unaware that there were so many hockey players available, Ray."
Fraser was breathing hard from exertion, but not totally out of breath.
"That's because you live and work in the 27th District. This
is the 24th,
where I used to work. I haven't been back since I left.
Of course, it
also wasn't cold enough until now." He grinned. "I figured,
you being
Canadian, and all, you might like to play."
Fraser gave an answering smile. "Thank you. I've missed
playing. This is
quite a talented group. I'm really enjoying the workout."
It reminded him
of home. More players, perhaps, but the enthusiasm and skill
was similar.
All in all, a most enjoyable day.
The break ended and they headed back onto the ice. There were
a few more
skaters arriving, patiently waiting their turns at the game.
Fraser was
slightly ahead of Ray when he caught a movement out of the corner
of his
eye. He turned just in time to see a stranger attack Ray with
a hockey
stick, raising the weapon over his head and striking Ray with it.
Ray saw
the blow coming and turned, raising his stick to block it, when another
man
struck him from the other side, laying open a gash just above the
hairline,
knocking him cold. Both men raised their sticks to
continue beating the
fallen man.
With an inarticulate cry, Fraser rushed to his friend's defense.
Two other
men rushing to assist him. They managed to subdue the attackers
and, while
the other players held them, Fraser knelt to check on his friend.
"Ray?" He gently turned his unconscious friend over onto his
back. He
took out his handkerchief, and used it to apply pressure to the profusely
bleeding gash in Ray's scalp. He could see bone through the
blood. The
cut extended from just above the hairline about three inches to just
above
his temple. A couple of inches lower, and he could have been
killed by the
blow crushing in the temple. "Ray? Can you hear me?
Wake up, Ray."
Fraser sat down on the ice and pulled Ray's head into his lap, maintaining
the pressure on the wound. Ray showed no sign of regaining
consciousness.
One of the two men who had rushed to assist pulled out a cell phone
and
dialed 911. The other man took off his coat, and draped it
over the
unconscious man. The rest of the group continued to hold the
assailants.
Ray moaned, shaking his head, as he showed signs of regaining
consciousness. He could hear a familiar voice, but couldn't
make out what
was being said. Then he heard sirens, and struggled to sit
up, training
and instinct taking over.
"Easy, Ray. Don't try to get up. You're hurt, stay still."
Fraser's
voice tried to soothe the injured man as two patrol cars and an ambulance
arrived., followed closely by an unmarked police car. Ray sagged
back,
again unconscious.
Everyone started talking at once, trying to explain how the two men
had
attacked, without provocation, the guy they had just been having
a friendly
game of hockey with. The two were quickly handcuffed and placed
in the
back of a patrol car, as the group of players was separated for the
taking
of statements. A large, heavy set man approached the small
group actually
around the injured man. The paramedics were examining Ray,
who was showing
signs of returning cognizance and was trying to push everyone away.
Fraser refused to relinquish his hold on his friend. "It's all
right Ray.
They're here to help you." He glanced up as the detective approached,
noticing the man bore an uncanny resemblance to Lieutenant Welsh,
at least
in manner and presence. He was ignored by the detective who
had eyes only
for the two men who had assisted in Ray's defense.
"What are you doing here, Hobson?" the detective growled.
The man so
addressed, gave a little shrug.
"You know me, Sergeant Crum, we just managed to be in the right place
at
the right time. Again. As usual." He knew he shouldn't
goad the man, but
get real. He didn't need to account for his every move with
the police.
The sergeant grunted acknowledgment as he turned his attention to
the
injured man. He recognized him with a start.
"What happened?" He asked, looking at Fraser, who was still
trying to calm
the semi-coherent Ray as the paramedics examined him.
"We were playing a friendly game of hockey and had just taken a break
after
the last goal; when we returned to the ice to continue the game,
those two
men attacked Ray. I was too far away to prevent them, but with
the
assistance of these two gentlemen," he indicated the man the
officer had
addressed as Hobson and his friend, "we managed to stop them from
continuing to beat Ray with their sticks." He shook his head
in confusion,
"I have no idea why they chose to attack him. They weren't
in the game and
had just arrived while we took our break, as did Mr. Hobson and his
friend." He looked up at the stranger who had been in
just the right
place at the right time.
The sergeant scowled. "Hobson's got a knack for being in the
right place
at the right time, it seems. He also seems to know what's going
to happen
before it happens. Running a little late, this time?"
The last directed
to the man in question.
"I told you. We just came out to skate a while. When those
guys snuck up
behind this guy, we came and helped." Indicating his friend.
"Yeah. Why are you grilling us, anyway? We didn't clobber
the guy." The
friend added.
The paramedics were transferring their patient to a gurney for transport
"He's going to need stitches, obviously. There's also a concussion.
Is
there anyone we need to contact?"
Fraser stood, handing Hobson back his coat. "I'll make
the call." He
reached into Ray's jacket pocket and took his keys, "I'll drive his
car to
the hospital for him and meet you there." He looked concerned,
since his
friend had still not fully regained consciousness, it had been nearly
twenty minutes since the attack.
The paramedics agreed and transported their patient. The others
followed
him as he skated back to his and Ray's gear, having picked up Ray's
stick
on his way. He sat on a bench to change from his skates to
his boots,
barely noticing that the others had followed him. They watched
in silence
as he prepared to follow his friend to the hospital.
Finally, the sergeant spoke, "I need your name for the report."
He could
see that this guy was upset over the unprovoked attack.
"Certainly. My name is Constable Benton Fraser, RCMP." He informed them.
"Aren't you a little far south?" asked the still unidentified
friend of
Hobson.
"I originally came to Chicago on the trail of my father's killer.
Due to
circumstances which don't need going into at this juncture, I have
remained
as Deputy Liaison Officer with the Canadian Consulate." He
finished
packing the gear bag, "I made friends with Detective Vecchio
during the
course of the investigation. He invited me to join him for
some hockey,
and we came here." He looked up at the three men, a plaintive,
confused
expression on his face "We were just having a friendly game.
I have no
idea why they would want to attack Ray," he shook his head
sadly. "It
makes no sense. They weren't even in the game." He stood.
"If there are
no more questions?" he asked
The sergeant was a little uncomfortable, he knew Ray from his previous
life
in his district, "I can get hold of you at the consulate?"
Fraser nodded
assent. "You think it might have to do with yesterday?"
he was surprised
by Fraser's confused expression, and annoyed by Hobson's guilty one.
Turning to the young man,
"OK. What do you know about this? I know you know something.
You're
never near without knowing what's going on. Give."
Hobson blushed; at Fraser's sad expression, he caved in "I think you'll
find that one of the guys is related to the kid who was hurt the
worst."
"What child? What are you talking about? Ray would never
intentionally
hurt a child; and if he did hurt one accidentally, he would be devastated."
He would have said something, wouldn't he?
The sergeant looked at the Canadian in surprise, "Didn't you see the
news
last night, or read the paper?" Fraser shook his head, no.
Amazing. "The
27th was tailing some drug dealer and he spotted them and opened
fire.
There were three kids in the way, he hit all three of them.
Ray dove after
them to get them out of the way, he was too late to save them, but
he
dragged them to cover and kept them from bleeding to death."
He frowned,
angrily "Unfortunately, there are some cops who are mad at him for
saving
three kids, instead of shooting at the bad guy. I heard that
from his
position he had the best shot at the guy. *I* think he did
the right
thing." He emphasized the last as two of the uniformed officers
joined
them, they had the grace to blush.
"We got all the statements. They all agree, those two attacked
the guy for
no reason. Just came up on him and tried to bash his brains
in. These
three, " indicating Fraser, Hobson, and friend, "intervened and subdued
the
attackers. They just held them until we got here."
The man. Hobson, took out a newspaper, and looked at an inside page,
apparently reading an article. He smiled. When he looked
up, he met
Fraser's direct gaze. He fumbled with his paper, folding and
stuffing it
in his hip pocket. "I think you're friend is going to be just
fine." He
informed them.
"Thank you." Fraser replied, then, turning to the policemen,
"Do you need
anything else from me?" The sergeant shook his head, no.
"Then may I
leave to go to the hospital?"
"Yeah, sure. Go ahead. I know where to find you if I need
you." The
sergeant dismissed him. He glared at Hobson and friend.
"You two can go,
too. I also know where to find *you* if I need you."
Fraser walked slowly to Ray's car, unlocked the trunk and stowed the
gear
away. He then unlocked the driver's side door, settled into
the seat,
fastened his seat belt, started the car and drove to the hospital.
Worry
eating at him every mile.
When Ray awoke, he had a blinding headache, so he kept his eyes closed.
He
could hear the noises and smell the odors of a hospital. OK.
How did he
get here? The last thing he remembered was passing the puck
to Fraser and
Fraser scoring a goal. Did he fall?, what happened? He
could feel that
someone was nearby. He forced his eyes open in a squint, and
saw a
slightly bedraggled Fraser sitting in one of those ugly hospital
chairs,
next to his bed. "Wha' happ'nd?" he croaked, noticing
just how dry his
throat was.
Fraser looked up, pleased to finally see his friend awake. He
poured a
glass of water, inserted a straw, and handed it to him. "You
were struck
by a man with a hockey stick. How are you feeling? What
do you remember?"
He stopped at Ray's pained expression, took the empty glass
back and set
on the stand by the bed. Then in a gentler voice, "You have
thirty-seven
stitches, a concussion, but no skull fracture.
The cut is about three
inches long, and laid your skull bare. The scar will be hidden
by your
hair, when it grows back." He touched Ray's hand, where it
lay atop the
blanket. "Your assailants were angry about a child who was
injured
yesterday?" Ray paled. Fraser was amazed.
He thought Ray had been pale
before, was he going to faint? "Ray?" worried.
"'S OK. I'm..." he shook head and immediately wished he hadn't.
"Why didn't you tell me about yesterday, Ray?" Friends tell
each other
things, don't they?
"You didn't know? I thought you were just being polite."
He sighed. "I
shoulda figured you didn't see the news, or read the paper.
Sorry." He
closed his eyes again. "How long have I been out?" He
was so tired.
"Three and a half hours."
Ray's eyes snapped open, in surprise, "What?!"
Fraser nodded. "I'm afraid so. You've been semi-conscious
several times,
but have only just now become coherent."
"Oh, man. The lieutenant's gonna kill me." Ray groaned.
"Ray, it was not your fault that you were attacked. You are
the victim
here, not the aggressor." He waited for it to sink in.
"So, how was your
meeting with Cheryl last night?" Change the subject.
Did he really want
to know?
Ray smiled. "It was OK." He blushed "I, uh," he looked
up at Fraser,
embarrassed. Should he tell him? Just how good a friend
is he, really?
Could he trust him? Wait a minute. This was Benton Fraser,
RCMP. The man
who convinced him to seek help for his reading difficulties, *without*
making him feel like an idiot. "It was just a few hours after
the shoot
out. I still hadn't heard about Tommy, he was still in surgery.
That's
the kid that was hurt worst." Fraser nodded his understanding,
"I..." this
was so embarrassing, he took a deep breath, exhaled slowly, "I was
still
running on adrenaline. I....I lost it at her place."
Fraser patted his
hand, gently.
"I'm glad you weren't alone when you crashed, Ray. It's very
difficult to
try and deal with such strong emotional upheavals alone." Ray
turned his
hand and caught Fraser's, and squeezed.
"That's what she said." Releasing his friend's hand. "I
came unglued on
her. I was really embarrassed." He sighed. "I think
I'm gonna go back to
sleep, now, Fraser. Thanks for everything." And he was
instantly asleep.
The doctor came in, "How's he doing?" he asked.
"He woke up. He has no memory of the actual attack, only up
to the last
goal. We took a ten minute break, and he was attacked as we
were going
back onto the ice to continue playing."
The doctor nodded. "Was he coherent? Able to form complete sentences?"
Fraser nodded. "Yes. He had no difficulty remembering
incidents from
earlier today, nor yesterday and last night. He warned me he
was going
back to sleep, and then did."
"Good. No slurred speech, inability to focus?"
"When he first regained consciousness, his speech was a bit slurred,
but it
cleared up right away. The light seemed to hurt his eyes, but
he did make
eye contact with me several times."
The doctor nodded again, pleased. "We'll keep him overnight,
at least. He
was out a long time. His cat-scan came out clean, however.
We'll keep a
close eye on him tonight. Is there anyone to watch him if we
decide to
send him home tomorrow? He's going to need supervision for
a few days."
Fraser frowned, "I'm not certain. I'll talk to Ray in the morning.
I'm
sure we can work something out."
He had two days off, Sunday and Monday, and he spent half of one and
all of
the second in the hospital. This really sucked. They
wouldn't even let
him sleep. Every thirty minutes, some nurse came in and woke
him up. He
was exhausted. And now they weren't going to let him go home
because there
wasn't anyone there to take care of him. He didn't need a keeper,
damnit.
The door opened.
"Sorry I'm so late, Ray. There were some unexpected visitors
at the
consulate I needed to translate for." Fraser apologized upon
entering.
"Are they going to release you?"
"No. They won't let me go unless I have a baby-sitter.
This really
sucks." He was tired. His head hurt. It was making
him cranky. He
wanted to go home and sleep in his own bed. For a week.
He recognized the
start of a pity party, and tried to shake loose from it. "The
lieutenant
came by. I got two weeks sick leave on this, they're calling
it an on the
job injury. 'Cause it was directly related to a case.
Real nice of them,
don'tcha think?" Even in his debilitated state, he recognized
that he was
rambling.
"I would offer to let you stay with me, but I'm still staying at the
consulate." He paused, "isn't there anyone you can stay with?
What about
Mrs. Vecchio?"
"You know she isn't talking to me. She doesn't want any part
of this whole
thing." He couldn't blame her, after all, it wasn't like they
were
*really* related. "Anyway, they're talking about keeping me
here for up to
a week. If they keep waking me up ever thirty minutes for a
week, I'm
gonna be nuts." All it was, was a headache. He could
function with that.
Even if it did hurt like a SOB. He wanted up, moving around.
Music. His
own bed. He looked at Fraser, "I got a pretty comfortable
sofa-bed," he
wheedled, "You want to stay at my place for a few days?" Please.
Please.
Please. Please..
"You would have to go to the consulate with me, to fulfill the edicts
set
out by the doctors." Fraser reminded him.
"What's a 'edict'?"
"An edict."
Sigh. "OK. What's '*an* edict'?"
"In this instance it means 'command, or decree'. The doctor's
demand that
you follow certain rules in order to be released. That's an
'edict'." He
could see Ray filing the word away. He really had a good memory,
just not
well trained.
"They won't let me drive, until I check clear next week." Hint, hint.
"I drove your car here, Ray. I would be happy to chauffeur you
around. At
least you have an automatic." No need to go into his difficulty
with
standard transmissions. Besides, Ray was always driving *him*
places, the
least he could do was return the favour. Decision made, "Let
me go and
talk to the doctor. I think I can convince him to let you out."
It was a good thing that Ray's apartment was only on the second floor.
By
the time he made it up the flight of stairs, Fraser had to keep a
hand on
him to keep him up. His head was spinning, and the throbbing
pain from the
injury made him want to cry.
Fraser sent him directly to bed, and even came in to tuck him in.
"There's
sheets an' blankets an' stuff in the cupboard by the bathroom."
He
murmured, just before he dozed off.
Fraser looked around the apartment. Checked the kitchen, surprised
to find
it well stocked. Apparently, Ray liked to cook. Nothing
exotic, but quite
healthy. Ray's tastes seemed to tend toward the basics.
The freezer was
stocked with a variety of meat, poultry, fish, and frozen vegetables.
There were salad makings in the refrigerator, and a variety of boxed
pasta
and rice dishes in the cupboard. He found both coffee and tea.
Making
himself at home, he made a pot of tea, then settled on the couch
and turned
on the television, keeping the sound turned down.
It was evening before Ray awoke. His head still hurt, but it
was more from
the injury, than the headache he'd had before. He stretched,
luxuriating
in the comfort of being in his own bed. He could faintly hear
the TV in
the other room, and knew that Fraser was still there. He crawled
out of
bed, careful not to move too quickly and aggravate his injury.
He went to
the bathroom, and upon exiting, finally greeted his guest.
"How's it goin, Fraser?" He asked, sitting down across from
his friend,
glancing at the TV, noticing that the evening news was on.
"How long was I
out?" He couldn't remember what time they had gotten home.
Fraser checked the time, "Only four and a half hours, Ray. How
are you
feeling?" concerned, making sure he followed *all* the doctor's
instructions. It was acceptable to allow Ray to sleep, just
make sure he
was functioning within the parameters set by the doctor. If
he started
having trouble remembering recent events, dizzy spells, fainting,
etc. he
was to return Ray to the hospital. Minor lapses, however, were
acceptable.
"Would you like something to eat? I made some soup."
Keep the meals
light for a day or two, had been his instructions, If Ray wanted
heavier
meals, he would have to ask for them.
"Yeah. Sounds good." Fraser stood, moving to the kitchen
to reheat the
soup, and prepare a tray. Ray stretched again. "Mostly,
the headache is
gone. Just hurts on the outside, instead of the inside."
He focused on
the television. "Oh, shit." He said, leaning forward to turn
up the sound.
"What is it, Ray?" Fraser asked, coming up behind him with a
tray, setting
it down on the table next to the chair.
"I'm on the news, again, damn it. Someone told them about yesterday."
He
said, disgustedly. "The only good thing is we managed to miss
the
reporters." He picked up the tray and settled it across his
lap. "This is
good. You make it from scratch?" he asked, looking up
at the hovering
mountie. Receiving a shy smile in return.
" Thank you. Yes. You had all the needed ingredients,
chicken, frozen
vegetables, rice. Quite simple, really." I know I'm not
a great cook, but
I can make soup. He moved back to the couch, focusing on the
TV.
They made a quiet evening of it. Watching TV, and talking.
They discussed
music, police work, sports. It was a pleasant way to spend
the time. A
little after nine p.m., Ray started yawning.
"Let me get your medication, Ray. You look ready for some more
sleep."
Fraser rose to get the pills and a glass of water.
Ray was unused to being waited upon. He felt a little guilty.
"I'm not
helpless, you know. I can do that." But it was so comfortable
to just sit
here, so nice to have someone to take care of him. Fraser took
better care
of him than his own mother had. He looked up when Fraser returned
to hand
him his pills and the water. "Thank you." Taking the
proffered items.
Fraser hovered, taking the empty glass and returning it to the kitchen.
Ray stood, with another yawn.
"I think you're right. I'm for bed." He wasn't used to
having guests.
"Just use whatever you want." He then showed Fraser how to
open the couch
out into a bed. Then, as he headed for his own room, "Good
night...Ben."
The man was in his home. The least he could do
was stop being so formal
with him.
Fraser was surprised, and pleased. "Good night, Ray. Sleep
well." He
would give Ray a few minutes to get settled before he checked on
him. When
he did, Ray was already sound asleep. He again tucked Ray in.
There was
just something about the action that seemed appropriate.
"Ray?" Fraser called softly, trying to awaken his friend without
startling
him. Ray shifted under the covers, snuggling deeper into his
pillow.
"Hmmmm?"
"Ray? It's time to wake up. I have to be at the consulate
in an hour."
Fraser spoke a bit louder, coming into the room carrying a steaming
cup of
coffee. He hoped he'd gotten it right. Light with sugar.
He was fairly
certain that was how Ray took his coffee.
Ray sat up, groggily. "Coffee?" plaintive. Fraser placed
the cup in the
extended hand. Ray still had his eyes closed. He inhaled
deeply the aroma
of the coffee. "Mmmm. Smells good. Thanks." He
sipped. He opened his
eyes. "OK. I'm awake, almost." He looked at his
friend. "You don't have
guard duty, today?" he asked, noting the brown uniform.
"No. I have office duties today. Turnbull has guard duty.
I thought it
would be less boring if we could at least talk while I work."
He wouldn't
ask Ray to help. Besides not knowing the procedures, he didn't
want to
stress his friend's concussion.
"Today's Tuesday, right?" Ray asked, just checking.
"Yes. Why?"
"We got that school thing tonight, don't we?" just making sure
he was
still functional. Blinking himself further awake, taking a
long drink of
coffee. The milk had cooled it just enough.
"Yes. If you feel up to it. We'd be back by ten, at the
latest. Why
don't we see how you hold up today, all right?" If they had
been thinking
of keeping him in the hospital for a week, he wanted to be certain
that Ray
didn't overdo anything.
Ray nodded, finishing his coffee. "OK. I'm up. Let
me get a shower and
dressed. I'll be ready in half an hour." He handed the
cup to Fraser and
climbed out of bed.
Fraser had a second cup of coffee waiting for him when he came out
of the
shower. He drank it as he got dressed. Since he was going
to be under the
eye of the Ice Queen all day, he didn't want to embarrass Fraser,
so he
chose dress slacks and a soft cotton turtleneck; and immediately
questioned
his choice when he pulled it on over his bandaged head.
He stifled a
curse, the way Fraser was hovering, he didn't want to give him any
ammunition to use against him. He even wore a coordinating
sport coat.
When he exited the bedroom dressed and ready, empty coffee cup in
hand,
Fraser noticed.
"You look very nice, Ray."
Ray blushed. "I figured you'd have enough trouble explaining
me to the Ice
Queen, without her making comments on how I look." He smiled,
disarmingly.
Fraser returned the smile. "Do you want another cup of coffee?"
Ray shook his head. "Nah. Two's enough. Thanks.
You make good coffee.
Better than me. What did you do?" rinsing his cup in
the sink.
"I just followed the directions on the can." Puzzled.
Ray shook his head. "That's too easy." and chuckled.
He was bored. Fraser may have thought his office cozy, but it
was just
plain cramped with the two of them and the wolf in it. There
was nothing
to do. Fraser was diligently working away while Ray sat and
stared at the
walls. He finally couldn't stand it any longer.
"Ben?" keep it in the same tone as last night.
"Yes, Ray?" He had wondered how long it would take for Ray to
get bored.
Two and a half hours was quite remarkable, considering.
"There's got to be *something* I can do. I'm goin' nuts here."
"Ray, You can't help me, I'm afraid. Why don't you stretch out
on the cot,
take a nap?"
Ray sighed, exasperated. "I'm not tired. I can see just
fine. My hearing
is fine. I feel *fine*. Not even a headache."
Ben looked up, opened his mouth to speak, when the door opened.
The door
banged into Ray, who yelped as he pushed the door away from him.
The place
was simply too small.
"Oh, I'm sorry." The inspector peered around the door at Fraser's
visitor.
Her brow furrowed into a frown. Then she remembered the
call from Fraser
the evening before, explaining the details of Ray's injury and his
own part
in the care and tending of the American. Turning her attention
back to the
constable, "The Inuit couple is back. Could you please come
and help again?"
Fraser stood, "Certainly, sir." Turning to Ray, "If you'll excuse
me?"
Ray nodded, moving out of the way.
When the door had closed behind them, he looked at Dief. "So,
what do you
do all day?" Dief yawned, then stood up and stretched, then
stood at the
door, giving him an expectant look. "What? You gotta
go outside?" Dief
growled, hopefully. "Why not? I got nothin' better to
do." He started to
open the door, then remembered to leave a note. No need to
get in trouble.
He scribbled a quick note to let Fraser know he had taken Dief
for a walk.
Then he opened the door and followed the anxious wolf out.
"Just
remember, don't go so fast I can't keep up with you. I'm stuck
here for at
least a week, so if you lose me today you can just go begging the
next
time." Dief whined his answer.
They wandered down the street, Dief taking in the sights, sniffing
all the
interesting smells, making sure that he didn't lose the human.
It was a
rare day indeed, when he got to go out during the day. He wasn't
about to
ruin a week's worth of possibilities on the very first day.
This human
still seemed a bit afraid of him. He cast a glance over his
shoulder,
checking on his companion's progress. Keeping up
nicely. If he kept it
slow and easy, they might get quite a bit of territory covered.
He grinned
at the human. He liked this man. He was different from
the other one.
Still not in the league with his pack mate, but certainly showed
possibilities.
It was nearly one p.m. when they returned. Ray had stopped off
at a deli
to pick up lunch for them. He had even called the consulate,
surprised
when the Ice Queen herself answered the phone. He had offered
and been
accepted on his offer to bring lunch back for all of them.
He was surprised when he entered the consulate to discover that they
were
all going to eat together. Even Turnbull. He felt a little
self-conscious, knowing he didn't really belong. Fraser tried
to put him
at ease.
"Thank you kindly, Ray. You didn't have to pick up lunch for
all of us,
you know." He frowned when he saw the huge pile of scraps Ray
unwrapped
for Dief, but at least it wasn't covered in sugar and dough.
"Yes. Thank you kindly, Detective Vecchio." Turnbull added.
"It was most
gracious to offer."
Ray smiled. "Hey, I figured that if you had to put up with me
for a few
days, the least I could do was get lunch. After all, it's not
like I was
real busy, or anything. I was out walking Dief so long that
I got hungry,
and I figured you guys would be, too. A quick call and voila!"
He passed
out the sandwiches, chips, salads, and soft drinks. He'd even
managed to
get the orders right.
Even Inspector Thatcher joined them. "How are you feeling, detective?"
she asked politely, noticing the bandage and missing hair.
Almost managing
to sound concerned.
"Pretty good. It doesn't hurt as much, and the stitches are
starting to
itch, so I guess that's a good sign." He snuck a couple of
potato chips to
Dief, under the table. "Dief and me..."
"I" Fraser corrected.
"Huh?" Ray asked, confused.
"The correct sentence structure is 'Dief and I' you wouldn't
say 'me went
out', so when you are adding a second person to the sentence, you
still use
the singular self indicator." Fraser explained.
Ray thought about it. "OK. That makes sense. Does
it work the other way?
Like 'the letter came addressed to...him...and me'?"
"Yes."
Turnbull and the Inspector exchanged puzzled glances. Turnbull
looked
about to say something, she kicked him under the table and gave him
a
warning glare. Turnbull closed his mouth and said nothing.
"OK." Assimilating. "Dief and *I* had a great walk.
We must have
covered five miles. We were on our way back, when he stopped
in front of
this deli, He wouldn't leave. Kept giving me these pitiful
eyes and
whines. What a ham." He chuckled, slipping another chip
into the waiting
maw. "The smell got to me, and I realized I was hungry.
So I called." He
took a swallow of his soda. "So, is it OK?" unconsciously
seeking approval.
Everyone made appreciative sounds. They continued their meal
in silence.
Ray was a little worried. He didn't know any group of co-workers
who ate
together without talking. Then he thought of how unfriendly
toward each
other these people were, and calmed down. He found himself
feeling sorry
for the three Canadians. Here they were, hundreds of miles
from home, and
they couldn't even loosen up long enough for a simple meal together.
"Where are you from, Inspector?" He ignored the startled looks
from the
two constables.
"I'm from Ottawa, why?" polite. Why are you asking?
"That's the capitol, right?" They all nodded, "So, that's like,
a big
city? Is it bigger than Chicago?" curious.
At his interest, she talked about her city. The people, what
it had been
like growing up there. She even surprised herself at how talkative
she
became. All three men seemed fascinated by her tales.
Even Fraser and
Turnbull asked questions, drawing her out. By the time they
had finished
eating, they were all quite congenial. She was amazed that
her
subordinates would be interested in her background. They
had even shared a
few of their own amusing stories of growing up, comparing Fraser's
wilderness background with her and Ray's city upbringing, and Turnbull's
rural background. She was surprised to discover just how much
in common
they all had, especially her and Ray. She looked at him in
a new light.
He was suddenly no longer the annoying thorn who, along with Fraser
seemed
to be there just to torment her. He actually seemed to be quite
personable.
"Well, this has been enlightening. Thank you, Detective, for
lunch. It
is, however, time for the rest of us to return to our duties.
If you'll
excuse me?" She rose, and, gathering her wrappings, deposited
same in the
trash and left.
The two constables looked at one another bemusedly. Ray looked
from one to
the other. "What's wrong?" Both men turned and looked
at him. "What?
What'd I do?"
"Inspector Thatcher has been in charge here for approximately two
years.
On the rare occasions we have eaten together, we have consumed
our food in
absolute silence." Fraser tried to explain, he shook
his head in wonder.
"Who would have expected such a pleasant repast, especially under
the
circumstances?" He looked at Turnbull. "Are you as
surprised as I was?"
Turnbull nodded. "That was most extraordinary. I would
never have thought
to begin such a conversation." He looked at Ray, "Thank
you, Detective.
You have provided an excellent example of how to spend a very pleasant
lunch hour." He looked hopefully at Fraser, "Perhaps we might
try this
again, sometime?"
"I think that would be an excellent idea. Although, I wouldn't
suggest
making it a regular habit. There is such a thing as proper
decorum, when
interacting with superiors, as you know." Fraser replied.
Turnbull nodded. "You're quite right.
The men cleaned up their wrappings, and returned to work; Turnbull
to guard
duty, Fraser to his office. Ray followed along behind him.
"I'm sorry, if I caused a problem. I never ate with a group
of people who
don't talk to each other, before." He looked worriedly at his
friend.
"Are you sure this isn't going to cause trouble?"
Fraser shook his head. "It's hard to tell. The Inspector
was certainly
the most congenial I've ever seen her, here. I don't think
it will be a
problem. If anything, it may bring us closer together as a
working unit."
He smiled. "I must admit, you showed remarkable insight in
drawing the
Inspector out. Thank you."
Ray returned the smile. "No problem." He stretched and
yawned. "If that
cot's still available, I'll think I'll take advantage of it.
That way I
won't fall asleep in your class, tonight." He moved to Fraser's
cot, set
up in the back of the cramped office. He was asleep within
five minutes.
Fraser marveled at Ray's ability to fall asleep so quickly, unless
it was
due to the concussion?
At five o'clock, Fraser gently touched Ray's shoulder. "Ray?
It's time to
wake up."
Ray rolled over onto his back, and opened his eyes. "How long
have I been
asleep?" He asked, yawning and stretching, then sitting up,
swinging his
legs over the side of the cot.
"Two and a half hours. You did get quite a bit of exercise this
morning.
Perhaps more than you should have, at this juncture." Just
a bit worried.
"Nah. I feel pretty good. I haven't had to take any pain
pills, and
really, I feel pretty good." He stood, demonstrating his well-being.
"Dinner, then school?" Who would have thought, even a week
ago, that he
would be looking forward to a classroom. He remembered that
they were
working on homonyms. Maybe he could come up with a few more
tricks to tell
them apart.
Fraser shook his head in wonder at the recuperative powers of his
friend.
He was interested in seeing Cheryl and his students again.
He wondered
what Ray's reaction would be if they had seen him on TV.
The class had been busy thinking up words that caused them problems;
perhaps the most difficult was
"Past and Passed." Ray thought furiously, "OK. I think
I've got it, Past,
with a 't' means time, passed with a 'ed' means moved; like, he passed
the
football, passed the exam, like that. You just have to know
what you mean
if you are saying 'time past' meaning...ago?" looked to Fraser for
confirmation, who nodded, encouragingly. "or 'time passed' meaning
the act
of passing. I guess you're just going to have to practice which
one is
which, based on what you're trying to say."
Fraser smiled, watching his students scribble the explanation down
in their
notes. He was amazed how well they learned from Ray.
He'd been struggling
to make explanations that made sense to his students, but Ray seemed
able
to connect with them. Perhaps because of his own problems in
reading?
Have to discuss it with Cheryl. Whatever it was, it was working.
His
students were learning and his friend was gaining confidence in his
abilities.
"How about s-i-t-e and s-i-g-h-t?" someone asked.
"Uh, the first one is a place, like 'the site of the explosion,'
and the
other one means to see, 'the sight of the sunset left them in awe.'
"Don't forget c-i-t-e, that means to quote, as in to 'cite regulations'.
Fraser added
"Is that where citation comes from?" Ray asked, curious.
"Yes. A citation is the quoting of the law that has been violated."
Ben
answered, pleased with Ray's astuteness.
"What about 'through' and 'threw'?" another student questioned.
"That's an easy one, threw with a 'w' is the past tense of 'throw'.
They
both end in 'w'. The other one is...well, like when you pass
'through' a
crowd, uh..." he cast a helpless look at Fraser.
"Through is to go in one side and out the other. Through the
mountains,
through the waves. To go amidst," At their
blank looks he again turned to
Ray, he'd lost them again.
"Yeah, OK. Amidst means 'in the middle of' like the crowd.
I passed" a
quick grin and wink at Fraser, "'ed' through the flock of sheep.
That
means I went into the middle of a bunch of animals, from one side
to the
other. That's a lot longer sentence than the other one, don'tcha
think?"
The class returned his smile and nodded their understanding.
Fraser took back control. "You see, when you come across two
words that
sound the same, and you know that the meaning and spelling are different,
you really need to go to a dictionary and look up both words, so
you can
tell what each one means, and be able to figure out the usage."
It was
almost time to end the session. "For Thursday, I want you each
to find
five homonym pairs, and write down the definitions and usage."
He looked
sternly at his pupils, "Do *not* use any of the triplets like there
and
two. Try to find new ones, to add to the list you already have."
He
looked at Ray, "Also, I'd like to publicly thank Ray for joining
us again
and helping us out in our class." The class applauded, politely.
"You are
dismissed. See you Thursday." He turned to Ray, smiling.
The class gathered their belongings and stood. They gathered
in a group,
not leaving, talking quietly, glancing surreptitiously at Ray.
Finally one
was singled out to approach the teacher and his friend.
"Excuse me, please?" The elderly Oriental gentleman asked.
Fraser and Ray
turned to him.
"What is it, Mr. Ng?" Fraser asked politely (of course).
"We were wondering." He turned to Ray "You are the man
on the television,
yes?"
Ray blushed. "Uh, yeah. That was me." Embarrassed.
The other students
gathered around, closing in on him. Their proximity made him
nervous.
"You are very brave." Mrs. Ng told him, touching his arm.
Soon the entire
class was asking him questions, touching him, telling him how brave
he was.
Scaring him to death.
Fraser noticed his companion's encroaching panic. He gently
insinuated
himself between the detective and the class. "I'm
sorry, class, but we
have an appointment and need to get going." His arms gently
pushed and
gathered his students, steering them away from Ray, herding them
toward the
door. Cheryl entered, just as the students reached the door.
She backed
up and held the door for the exiting students. When they were
gone, she
came back in the room. She saw Ray standing at the front of
the room,
obviously in distress.
"What's wrong?" She asked Fraser as they approached the nearly
hyperventilating
Ray.
Ray stood there, breathing like a race horse, eyes closed, hand on
the
black board to hold him up, doubled up as if in pain. Classic
signs of a
panic attack.
Fraser placed a hand on Ray's shoulder, "Ray?" softly, soothingly.
Ray
started trembling. Fraser exchanged concerned looks with Cheryl,
who put
her arms around the distressed man.
"Ray?" She started to rub his back, as she had that night at
her
apartment. "It's OK, Ray. They're gone. You're
safe. Shhh." Fraser
hovered, worried. Should he take Ray back to the hospital?
"Ray?" He gripped his friend's shoulder harder. "Ray,
say something. Do
you need a doctor? Ray?" Ray had glommed onto Cheryl,
struggling to
control his breathing. "Take deep, slow breaths, Ray."
Ray tried, "That's
it. Slow and easy."
Between Cheryl's hug and soothing voice, and Ben's hand on his shoulder
and
helpful advice, Ray managed to get back in control. He took
several deep,
calming breaths, and straightened up. The others let go their
hold on him,
still hovering close by, in case he still needed their support.
"I'm OK." He glanced at them. "I'm sorry. I...I just..."
he shook his
head, at a loss for words.
"It's all right, Ray. You've just had too full a day.
Remember, they
wanted you to stay in the hospital. This was my fault.
I should have just
taken you home, after work, instead of letting you come here."
He could
have kicked himself for allowing this to happen. He knew Ray
had been
tired, even after the nap at the consulate. He'd barely picked
at his food
during dinner, claiming he was still full from lunch, knowing he
was still
tired.
Cheryl was examining the bandage on Ray's head. "What happened?"
she asked
softly, stroking Ray's cheek. Ray wouldn't meet her worried
eyes. She
turned to Fraser for an answer. "Ben?"
Ben sighed, guiding Ray to the chair at his desk, encouraging him
to sit,
sitting on the edge of the desk himself, maintaining contact by leaving
his
hand on Ray's shoulder. "We were out playing hockey Sunday.
We were just
coming back from a break when two men attacked Ray." He looked
at Cheryl,
an expression of hurt and guilt on his handsome features. "I
was in front
of him, I noticed the movement out of the corner of my eye.
I was too far
away to prevent the attack. If it hadn't been for the other
two men who
arrived at that moment," he shook his head. "It was close.
If Mr. Hobson
and his friend hadn't helped us, I believe they would have
killed Ray."
Cheryl patted Ben's arm. "But they didn't." She looked
at Ray, who was
showing the signs of exhaustion. "I was going to ask you guys
out for
coffee and talk about the classes, but I think it will have to wait
until
Ray's feeling better." She reached out again for Ray's face,
stroking her
palm down his cheek, cupping his jaw and tilting his face up to look
at
her. The expression in his eyes, fear, pain, embarrassment,
made her want
to hug him. Instead, she gave him a shy smile. "Time
to go home, Hero."
He blinked in surprise.
He had expected her to hate him after first losing control at her
place,
and now again in the classroom. But...she...hadn't.
He straightened up,
taking back full control. He didn't need a keeper. He
glanced at Ben;
well,...No. Not a keeper, a friend. Someone who cared
about him. That he
cared about. It had been a long time since he had had friends
like these.
These. Friends. He felt a warm, something, growing and
spreading within
him. These were his friends. They didn't care if he was
smart, if he
could read well, whether he was brave, if he was successful, rich,
handsome...They liked him for *him* and were concerned about
him, without
wanting anything in return. The warm feeling reached his eyes.
He stood
up and wrapped his arms around them, hugging them both.
"I'm OK. You're right. I *am* tired." He stepped
back from them, able to
stand on his own once more. "Yeah, I overdid it." He
looked at Fraser,
"It was *not* your fault, Ben. I...I just lost it when they
started to
swarm around me." He shuddered. At their concerned looks,
"I'm fine.
Really!" at their doubtful expressions. "I just need to get
home to bed
and I'll be fine in the morning."
"Only if you eat something, first." Ben scolded, "You barely
touched your
dinner. You need to eat, or you'll be back in the hospital."
gently chiding.
"Tell you what," Cheryl put in, "Let's go to the coffee shop
down on the
corner, they serve regular food, too." at their hesitant looks,
"I'll even
buy." Figuring that no one would resist a free meal,
"You don't have to do that." both men chorused in unison. They
exchanged
looks, and burst out laughing.
Cheryl just shook her head and joined in the laughter.
Ray managed to actually eat, this time. Cheryl kept up a running
monologue
for humorous anecdotes about teaching that had both men nearly hysterical
with laughter. She was enjoying the company of both men.
Ben, so reserved
and polite; Ray, shy, but with a wicked sense of humour.
It was after
ten, when they finally left the caf_. They insisted on escorting
Cheryl to
her car and waited until she was safely ensconced and on her way
before
they went to Ray's car and Fraser drove them back to Ray's
apartment.
Upon arrival, Ray willingly took his medication and headed for bed.
Ben
again checked on him and tucked him in before pulling out the sofa-bed
and
preparing for sleep himself.
It was still dark when Ray awoke. He stretched, luxuriating
in the feeling
of the comfort of being in his own bed. He listened to the
silence of his
apartment, wondering why he had awakened so early. Then he
heard an odd
sound. He slid from beneath the covers and stepped softly through
the
bedroom door. Fraser was apparently having a dream. He
couldn't tell if
it was a nightmare or not. He wondered if he should wake his
friend. He
decided to start a pot of coffee, as it was not that long until they
had to
be up anyway. He set the coffee maker up and turned it on.
Fraser was
still moaning in his sleep. When the coffee was ready, he fixed
two cups
and approached the sleeping mountie.
"No......Please............Dad?" Whatever the dream was about,
it was
obviously distressing the sleeping man.
"Ben?" Ray set the cups down on the coffee table. He sat
on the edge of
the sofa-bed, and gently reached out to wake his sleeping friend.
"Ben?
It's OK. It's just a dream." He spoke softly, then touched
Ben's
shoulder. "Ben? I got coffee. Ben?"
It was one of those dreams he occasionally had about growing up.
He had
been a lonely little boy, who had just been uprooted yet again to
move to a
new home with his grandparents. His father had told him to
grow up and be
a man. He was only ten at the time. Even so many years
later, the
memories saddened him, made him wonder what he had done that was
so
terrible that his family didn't love him. He heard his name
called and
turned toward the voice. It wasn't his father or grandparents,
it
was....."Ray?" he mumbled "What are you doing up?"
he sniffed. "Is that
coffee?" still groggy with sleep, he sat up, rubbing his eyes
and taking a
deep breath to yawn as he finished waking up.
"I woke up. It's almost five." He handed one of the cups
to the newly
awakened man. "I figured I'd make the coffee. I was awake,
anyway." He
didn't ask about his friend's dream. If he wanted to tell him
about it, he
would.
He and Dief covered another five or six miles again that day, and
again
brought back lunch for the Canadians, followed by another nap
on the cot
behind Fraser's desk.
As the week passed, the walks got longer and the naps shorter.
The lunches
also became more friendly, as the participants learned more about
one
another. By Friday, he was feeling well enough to make
a request. He
hadn't had pain medication since Wednesday.
"Ben, can we stop by the hospital and see about getting me cleared
today,
instead of next week?"
Ben smiled. "I changed your appointment to this afternoon at
five-thirty."
At Ray's surprised look, he added "I figured
that you were feeling so good
that you would want to get your life back to normal as soon as possible."
He didn't explain that he had been having the childhood dreams every
night
and wanted to end their close proximity before he did something to
destroy
their friendship. He didn't know why he felt this way, only
that he needed
to give Ray back his privacy before anything bad happened to end
their
relationship.
"Great. Not that I haven't enjoyed being here..." how to say
it, "But
there's a lot of bad guys out there waiting for me to bust their
sorry
asses, and I need to get back to work before they rent out
my desk to
somebody else." He smiled. "Besides," he continued softly,
"I don't want
to wear out my welcome."
Ben smiled back. "Understood." Perfectly. He felt
the same way about
staying with Ray. It was very pleasant, Ray was wonderful company
and it
was nice to have someone human to talk to, to care for, to be cared
for by,
but that wasn't the normal situation for either man, and he was afraid
that
prolonged, forced contact would damage their relationship.
The doctor was surprised to be removing the stitches less than a week
after
putting them in. "You heal very fast, Mr. Vecchio." He
commented. The
cat scan and other tests came back clean and they had no choice but
to
clear him for duty. "You might still want to take the roughhousing
and
contact sports easy, for a while. You don't want to re-injure
yourself at
this point."
He gave Ray a list of 'shoulds and shouldn'ts' to follow, just to
reinforce
the severity of his healed injury.
Ray took the list and actually read it. He handed it to Fraser.
"The stuff they say to avoid, some I can and some I can't. If
I get in a
fight with a bad guy, I can't control whether or not I'm gonna get
hit.
The rest of it, no problem."
Fraser concurred. Back in his usual spot on the passenger seat,
he asked
"Ray, you can drop me off at the consulate, if you wish. I
can get my
things later from your apartment."
Ray looked at him, concerned. "What? You don't like the sofa-bed?"
In surprise, Fraser answered "Oh, no. The sofa-bed is
quite comfortable.
I just thought you would like your privacy back." Oh, dear.
Ray shook his head. "You have any idea how I spend my evenings
at home,
Fraser?" He pulled to a stop at a red light, they locked gazes,
"I
practice dancing." Fraser's brow furrowed. "That's it.
Sometimes I watch
TV. Mostly I dance or sleep." He returned his attention
to the red light.
Then, softly, he added, "I liked having you over, Ben.
It...I..." He
searched for the right word, "It's not as lonely when someone's
there to
talk to, you know?" He really did like his privacy, but somehow,
Fraser
fit in. It had given him a warm feeling to know that here was
someone who
actually gave a damn about his well-being. "Thanks for staying
with me.
I'd have been nuts, havin' to spend a week in the hospital."
Fraser smiled. He couldn't have put it better, himself.
It *was* nice to
have another person around to talk to, share things with. But
his dreams
were going to be a problem, they already were. He'd been waking
up from
them for the past two days, managing to wake himself up before he
made a
fool of himself by yelling out his fear. He sighed. "It
has been very
pleasant, Ray. However," how to put this in a way that wouldn't
alienate
his friend. "I don't want to overstay my welcome. By
the way, I was
accepted for that apartment you gave me a reference for, and I need
to
start packing up my belongings from the consulate preparatory to
moving."
Nothing like a change of subject. Not that he had
much to move. He had as
many of his things here as he had at the consulate. He felt
another stab
of pain at the loss of his meager possessions. What hurt most
was the loss
of his father's journals. He missed reading them at night,
and whenever he
needed fresh insight to a problem.
Ray understood. "OK. The consulate it is." He turned
at the next signal
to take his friend back to work.
By the time Ray was ready for his own class, he had been given several
books to read for himself. Fraser gave him an unabridged dictionary,
eliciting a comment about the book being big enough to cause permanent
damage to his body. He had actually finished one of the books
Cheryl gave
him, a children's edition of Conan Doyle's stories. He had
enjoyed them so
much that he had gone out on his own and purchased copies of all
of the
author's works. Even the science fiction. He was
struggling with some of
the words, but hearing the usage from Fraser, and looking up the
words in
the dictionary helped.
He walked into the classroom. There were four very nervous teenagers
waiting for him. He was startled to recognize them. "Fancy
meeting you
guys, here." All four young people, three boys and one girl,
jumped nearly
out of their skins. The boys glared at him warily. The
girl looked ready
to cry.
"I thought we was gonna get some help here. Not busted."
One of the boys
stated, drawing himself to attention, trying to intimidate Ray.
Ray laughed. "You got a choice. You can wait until another
volunteer
shows up, or you can let me try to teach you to read. It's
up to you. I'm
not gonna hold your hand. I'm not gonna do the work for you.
You want to
learn to read? I'll try to help you. You want to jerk
around? Go
somewhere else. I got no time for you. I catch you on
the street doin'
what I've caught you doin' before? You go to jail. You
work hard, try, I
can help you help yourselves. The choice is yours." He
didn't glare at
them, as he would have down at the station. His job here, was
to help
them. In the three short weeks he'd been here, he had discovered
that he
had a talent for teaching. He wasn't the dummy his teachers
had called
him. He was gaining confidence and had lost his fear of words;
there were
still many he didn't understand; a great deal of grammar he had still
to
learn. But he had two wonderful friends who cared about him,
who wouldn't
put him down for not knowing something, who would encourage him in
any way
they could. "I can do this. I choose to."
the end