Truth Behind Reflection

Why is it that I can't stop thinking about you? You're always there and completely oblivious to what you do to me. How many times have you touched me innocently and I have had to look away so you wouldn't see what your touch does to me. The way we talk is so trusting but I can't tell you everything. Maybe this is why I am doing this now, where you can't find me. The darkness of my bedroom is a cover for my body and the tears running down my face.

Sometimes when I'm at my lowest I think that this friendship we have is based on a lie. Perhaps every time you talk to me you imagine you are talking to someone else and we both know whom that someone is. Even thinking the name is torture for me and we share it. All the times I have looked over at you and saw the sadness and pain there in the depths of your eyes. The nameless hurt of him leaving you, deserting you, vanishes as soon as I call your name, but I know its still there, hidden.

We go off and do whatever we have to do but I know you would never confide in me. The same as me I guess. The insecure side of me would never tell you, wouldn't be able to deal with the rejection and hurt as you gently, but firmly, told me that it could never happen.

But I know that I am gonna tell you soon. I can't hide it forever; it's becoming more and more obvious.

And then the friendship we have forged, which is so important to me, will be gone.

The end