With
Open Eyes
By
Sharron Ibbitson
Feedback
to: sharron.ibbitson@cwcom.net
Rating:
Probably NC-17 for some naughty words and violence, but I'd say a 15
in Britain.
Please
feel free to archive at Kari's or Hexwood, anywhere else please ask first.
This
is dedicated to my DS mate Sasha, who is suffering from severe RayK withdrawal
due to going away to Uni! But she has been no end of help to me, when
I have been cursed by writers block! To her and every one else that has
been nagging me to hurry up and write this, I'm really sorry for the
delay in this piece! Also many thanks to Mary Ann Robinson, who also
talked me into hurrying this along a bit!!
None
of these characters belong to me, they are the property of Alliance,
I promise to return them, after I've borrowed Ray Kowalski for a couple
of weeks.
Thanks
to Adia for the story title and for the original beta reading.
Ray
walked down the stairs to the squad room. He sat down heavily onto his
chair by his desk. It had been a very tough week. He had just wrapped
up a murder investigation that had involved children being killed. The
case was going to court early the next month, and Ray was the 'star'
witness. He had seen the suspect loom over the child; he hadn't been
able to do anything because the man had tied him up. He had then murdered
the child right in front of Ray. He swallowed down the bile rising in
his throat, just from the thought of it. Despite the fact that it was
now two in the morning, he still had some paperwork left to do, and he
wanted to get it out of the way as soon as he could, so that he could
put the case behind him. Fraser hadn't been made aware of all the details
of the case, but had offered to stay behind to help, but Ray had wanted
to be alone, so he had declined the offer. The squadroom was empty apart
from a few detectives just finishing off their own cases. The holding
cells were even void of prisoners. Ray sighed then picked up the manila
folder resting on his desk and began filling out some forms. He found he had trouble concentrating so he walked over
to the holding cells to lie down on one of the benches. He rested his
arm across his face shielding his eyes.
Early
the next morning Frannie arrived at work, expecting to see Ray sitting
at his desk, she was concerned when he wasn't there. Then she remembered
another incident a few months ago and decided to check the cells. She
breathed a sigh of relief when she found him lightly dozing. She walked
off to fetch him a cup of strong coffee, and then went straight back
to the cells. She gently shook him awake, and was shocked when he startled
and flinched away. He didn't seem to register who it was at first. Then
he took a deep breath.
"Hey
Ray, I brought you some coffee" she told him and handed him the
steaming cup.
"Thanks
Frannie" he told her, accepting the mug and standing up, together
they walked back across to his desk.
"Ray
are you gonna be all right?" she asked with genuine concern.
"Yeah
I'll be fine, why wouldn't I be?"
"It's
just with this case, and what you saw and everything, well if you ever
need to talk you know where I am" she told him. He looked up at
her, and saw nothing but worry in her eyes.
"Thanks
Frannie. I'm fine; I do appreciate the concern. I have to talk to a shrink
anyway, but thank you" he told her with a grin as he pecked her
on the cheek. She smiled and left to sit at her own desk, hiding her
grin behind her computer screen., she was genuinely worried about Ray.
Fraser had told her what had happened vaguely, and Welsh had told her
how Ray had been forced to watch the child being killed savagely. She
didn't think she could handle it herself. She once more looked across
at Ray, and saw that he was trying to concentrate on a file. He looked
up and met her gaze, she smiled at him and he weakly repeated the gesture.
He then stood up, grabbing his coat, and walked out of the precinct.
Frannie decided to follow him. She quietly climbed into her car and followed
Ray from a distance. He drove to the consulate, but didn't exit the car.
He just sat outside. She watched him in concern. He stared out of the
window for some time before actually getting out of the car and climbing
up the consulate steps. Frannie remained in her car, until half an hour
later Ray once again emerged from the building, and began walking towards
his car. She watched as his attention was drawn to across the street.
"Hey
Vecchio" someone shouted from across the road, Frannie immediately
saw Ray instinctively checking his weapon before crossing the road. Ray
walked across to the other man. Frannie couldn't hear what was being
said so she jumped out of her car and stood close enough to hear the
conversation, but far away enough so that Ray didn't notice her.
"I'm
telling you man, they're gonna get ya" the man told Ray.
"Yeah
right, look Lou, they don't even know me" Ray replied.
"Yeah?
Well what about Hedges, he was one of them. You busted him yesterday.
They're so pissed with you" Lou informed Ray; Frannie took in a
deep breath.
"Yeah
so? What they gonna do about it?"
"You
know what they're gonna do, just don't let it happen hey Ray"
"Yeah
right. Thanks man. I guess I owe you big this time" Ray replied
as he pulled out his wallet, but Lou stopped him.
"Na
man. This one's on the house" Lou insisted, which in it's self got
Ray concerned. They both shook hands, before Lou went on his way. Ray
kicked a nearby lamppost hard, in frustration before walking back to
his car. When he got back to his car, he was shocked to see Frannie leaning
against it.
"Frannie
what are you doing here?" he asked her.
"I
was worried about you so I followed you here from the precinct. I heard
what that guy just said" Ray turned away at this point "You
have to tell the lieutenant"
"No,
no way" Ray replied. "Besides it's nothing"
"Yes
it is. He just told you that they are trying to kill you"
"Look
Frannie just leave it okay?! I can handle it" Ray told her angrily.
"No
Ray, I will not leave it. If you haven't spoken to Welsh by the end of
the day, then I will. Understand?!" Frannie told him just as heatedly,
before she stormed off to her car. Ray climbed into his car, and just
sat there for a few moments before pulling off. He then drove straight
back to the precinct. When he arrived there he found Fraser sitting at
his desk.
"Hello
Ray. Are you all right?" Fraser asked as soon as he saw Ray's pale
face.
"Yes
I'm fine, why do you ask? Where's Frannie?"
"I
only asked because you looked pale. Francesca is in the lieutenant's
office" Fraser replied. Ray didn't say anything, but he walked straight
across to Welsh's office, and entered without knocking.
"Frannie
I need to speak with you" he said through clenched teeth.
"Detective
have you ever heard of knocking?" Welsh asked in confusion.
"Sorry
sir, Frannie come on"
"Why's
that Ray? Worried about what I'm gonna say?" Frannie said almost
daring Ray to comment.
"Please
Frannie don't do this to me" Ray told her, in a pleading voice that
she had never heard him use before. She thought that he was actually
going to cry.
"Excuse
me for interrupting, but what the hell is going on here?" Welsh
asked loudly.
"Ray
I have to tell him" Frannie told Ray hoping for his forgiveness.
"Sir, Ray's life is in danger" she told him simply, which immediately
got Welsh's attention.
"Go
on Ms Vecchio" he prompted and she went on to tell him the whole
story, while Ray remained silent throughout.
"You
need protection" Welsh told him, and Ray immediately began shaking
his head "No arguments. You are not going anywhere alone, even if
you have to move into a safe house"
"Sir,
I really don't think that this is necessary" Ray told him, really
not wanting his personal space to be invaded.
"Yeah
well I do, and I'm still the boss around here, so what I say goes. Got
that detective?"
"Yes
sir" Ray responded as he walked out the office, giving Frannie a
foul look on his way out.
"Sir
I'm really worried about him" Frannie told Welsh.
"Why?
We'll look out for him" Welsh told her.
"I
don't just mean physically. I mean emotionally. He's been really down
after this kiddie case, I'm just kinda worried about him, you know that
he'll do something stupid"
"What
makes you think that?"
"He's
been really quiet and withdrawn. He's hardly said a word to me. What
with seeing the kid murdered, busting the guy, being beaten up and then
this death threat thing, I think it might be enough to send him over
the edge."
"I'm
sure Fraser will keep an eye on him" Welsh told her gently. She
nodded before leaving.
She
walked out of the office, and went straight across to Ray and Fraser.
She placed her hand on Ray's shoulder
"Hey
bro" she said gently.
"Hey
Frannie. Thanks a lot" Ray replied without the anger he desired.
"I'm
sorry, but I had to say something or I'd never of forgiven myself in
anything had happened" Fraser looked in surprise.
"Pardon me for interrupting, but is there
something going on that I should know about?"
"No"
"Yes!" Frannie and Ray said simultaneously.
"Someone's
trying to kill Ray" Frannie told him, and Ray leapt up and walked
out of the precinct. Fraser looked up in alarm before following his friend.
He soon caught up with him, just as Ray was climbing into his jet black
GTO. Fraser climbed into the car besides Ray, and they sat there in silence
for a few moments. Fraser looked at Ray, and saw that he wasn't about
to speak so he broke the silence himself.
"Would
you like to talk about it?"
"Not
really Fraser no" Ray replied curtly.
"Ray,
will you please tell me what is going on? What was Frannie saying about
a child case?" Ray sighed and thumbed his eyebrow.
"A
few days a go I was drafted into a kiddie case. Kids were getting murdered.
Not normally our jurisdiction, but I didn't ask any questions. Anyway
I cornered the suspect in a warehouse, but he pulled a gun on me. He
fired and he hit me here" Ray said quietly indicating his left shoulder
"I was wearing my vest, but the force pushed me down and I whacked
my head on the wall" he continued showing Fraser an ugly purple
bruise on his right temple. "When I came round I was gagged and
tied up. He had this kid up against a wall. The kid was no more than
five, and the bastard was holding a knife to the kid's throat. He didn't
scream or nothing, but everytime I close my eyes I see the look of the
kid's face as that, that scum slashed his throat. Anyway he's now under
lock and key" Ray concluded. Fraser closed his eyes, although he
had known about the case, he hadn't been told any details.
"I'm
sorry Ray, I had no idea. I didn't realise" Fraser muttered as he
placed his hand on his partner's shoulder. "But it doesn't explain
why Francesca seems to think that your life is in danger" Fraser
continued with puzzlement clear on his face.
"Well
Hedges, the suspect that I apprehended turns out to be a member of a
very powerful gang, and they are a little bit upset that I arrested him"
"Ah
now I understand. Well what did the lieutenant suggest that you do?"
"He
wants me to be under guard and in a safe house" Ray replied downheartedly.
"I
take it that you aren't enthusiastic about the idea"
"Not
especially"
"Do
you think that he'd allow me to make a suggestion?"
"Depends
on what the suggestion is"
"What
if I were to suggest that I guard you. You could stay at the consulate
with me, or at one of our safe houses. I'd be with you at all times"
Fraser explained.
"That
could work. Would you be willing to do that for me?" Ray asked in
surprise.
"Of
course Ray" Fraser replied honestly and together they climbed out
of the car and walked back into the precinct to put the suggestion to
Welsh.
Ray
felt as though everybody was watching him as he walked through the precinct,
if they were it was only in concern. He just walked straight into Welsh's
office with Fraser in tow. Welsh looked up.
"Can
I help you detective?" he asked gently. His detective looked very
pale and not at all like himself. Rather than replying himself Ray looked
at Fraser who immediately stepped in to help him.
"Sir,
Ray and Frannie have informed of Ray's current situation and I was wondering
if you would be open to a suggestion"
"Go
on constable"
"Well
I believe that Ray needs to be protected, but he is unhappy with the
arrangements that he has been offered. I was hoping that you would allow
him to stay with me at consulate by night and then I'll stay by his side
all day"
"But
you don't even carry a weapon"
"No
sir I do not, but I could still offer protection to Ray. If it would
make you happier you could place armed officer outside the consulate
at night, after all It is extremely unlikely that Ray would be in any
danger in the Police station during the day" Fraser reasoned, and
Ray noticed Welsh nodding, in agreement.
"Okay
constable, but there is to be an armed guard outside the consulate at
night, happy detective?" Welsh responded.
"Ecstatic
sir" Ray replied sarcastically. They all knew that he wouldn't be
happy until all of this was over, but at least it was a better alternative.
That
night Ray drove Fraser back to the consulate.
"I'll
drop you off here, I'll go and collect my things, then meet you back
here in a half hour" Ray told him.
"No,
I really think that I should come with you" Fraser told him and
after much discussion Ray agreed.
They
drove in silence to Ray's apartment block. Ray's landlady greeted Ray
with a warm smile in the hall. Fraser nodded his greeting and politely
waited outside Ray's apartment whilst he packed some things together.
The landlady stood and spoke with him for a few moments, while Ray was
packing his things together.
"Is
everything all right?" she asked gently.
"Sorry
mame?" Fraser asked not totally understanding what she meant.
"Is
Ray okay? He's such a nice young man, I hope that everything is all right"
she explained.
"Oh yes, Ray is fine. He's just coming to stay with me for a couple
of day's while we look into some lines of enquiry." Fraser told
her.
"But
he will be coming back won't he?" she asked in concern.
"Yes,
I'm sure he'll be back as soon as the investigation is over."
"Investigation?"
"Yes
a rather traumatic case for Ray I'm afraid, but he'll be back soon enough"
The lady nodded, and at this point Ray came out of his front door, locking
it tightly behind him.
"You
take care young man. It'll seem strange not hearing the strange shuffling
in rhythm at night for a few days" she told him gently as she lightly
caressed his face, taking Ray completely by surprise.
"Thank
you Mrs Langley" he told her and was amazed when she pulled him
into a hug. "I'll see ya soon" he promised before they once
again set off to the consulate.
They
arrived at the consulate just as Huey and Dewey were pulling up outside.
The duck boys explained that they were the guards for the night, and
refused to budge even though tried very hard to get them to just forget
it and go home. Thatcher took Ray completely by surprise by being very
nice to him.
"Hello
Detective Vecchio, or may I call you Ray?"
"Er,
yeah sure" he replied shocked.
"Would
you like me to show you to your quarters for the next few days?"
she asked as she took him by the arm.
"This is your room, it's nothing special but it has everything
you'll be needing" she told him.
"Thank
you Inspector" he told her and his eyes enforced the meaning of
his words. She nodded once before leaving him to his privacy. He sat
on the bed and rubbed his hands across his face, before leaning back
into the soft comfort of the bed and lying fully back. His eyes slid
shut and before he knew it he was asleep.
Thatcher
walked back to Fraser's office. She stood in the doorway and coughed
loudly to attract his attention. He looked up.
"Where's
Ray?" he asked concerned.
"He's
asleep upstairs. I know that I don't really know him or anything, but
is he going to be all right?" she asked with genuine worry.
"I
hope so" was all Fraser said in response.
It
seemed to be forever before Ray rejoined Fraser in his office, and when
he did he was very quiet and withdrawn. He had barely said a word in
hours and Fraser was beginning to get very worried.
"Ray,
are you okay?" he asked after the room had been silent for longer
than he could bear. Ray didn't answer straight away, so he repeated the
question.
"Huh?"
Ray replied shaking his head to bring himself out of his reverie.
"Are
you okay?"
"Yeah,
yeah I'm fine Frase. I'm good, I'm great" he answered trying to
convince himself as much as Fraser.
"If
you want we could go down to the precinct?" Fraser asked hoping
to make Ray feel better.
"No
it's okay, I don't mind staying here with you" Ray replied honestly.
This got Fraser even more concerned; he looked closely at his friend.
He saw the dark patches under Ray's eyes, showing lack of sleep and worry.
Even if he wouldn't admit it, Ray was worried by the situation, not that
he could blame him, and in the same situation he would be very worried
himself. He just couldn't stand to see his friend self-destruct; he was
so quiet it was almost scary. By three in the afternoon Fraser could
take it no more, he heaved a sigh, giving up on his paperwork, he grabbed
Ray by the arm and was uncharacteristically forceful.
"Come
on, we're going to go and get something to eat" he told the detective.
"Fraser
I'm not all that hungry" Ray replied.
"I
don't care you have got to eat" Fraser told him. Ray shrugged and
pulled on his coat. Ray fished out his car keys from his pocket, and
unlocked the car. They both climbed in.
"Where
to?" Ray asked quietly.
"McGregor's?"
Fraser questioned, hoping that his friend would accept, Ray simply nodded
and kept driving. The journey passed in silence and Fraser's concern
only grew more. His attention kept being drawn to the car following them,
the two officers sent to protect Ray. Huey and Dewey had been relieved
earlier in the day. Fraser had been quite surprised by the concern of
Ray's fellow officers. They had been quite loath to leave their post
at Ray's side, but both were exhausted. Fraser was taken out of his reverie
by the car pulling to a stop.
"We're
here" Ray announced. "You go in and get us a seat, and I'll
go and park up" Ray told his friend. Fraser shook his head.
"No
way, I'm not leaving you on your own" Fraser told him.
"I'm
not on my own, I have those two" Ray explained pointing at the car
behind. Fraser had to admit he had a point, so he climbed out of the
car, still unsure but wanting to give Ray the benefit of the doubt. He
went inside the restaurant and organised a table for himself and Ray.
Meanwhile
Ray had just managed to find a parking space, he reversed in perfectly,
and he then locked up the car. The two detectives guarding him hooted
their horn as they drove past; they were forced to park further in the
car park. Ray waved and started walking towards the restaurant, he never
stood a chance as he was hit hard on the head and his World turned to
black.
Fraser
had been sitting in the restaurant for over ten minutes and there was
still no sign of Ray, he stood up to see if he had had trouble parking,
his alarm was elevated when he saw the two Police officers walking into
the restaurant, and there was still no sign of Ray. They looked across
at Fraser in confusion, surprised to find their charge was absent. As
soon as he saw them he ran out to the car park. Officers Gating and Keatly
followed closely behind. He saw Ray's car, and on further investigation
found a small pool of blood about three metres away from the car. Fraser
looked worriedly, and Gating immediately rang for backup. When the station
heard what was going on, the car park was swarming with Detectives from
the 27th. Welsh was among the first to arrive. He approached
Fraser straight away.
"Well
what happened?" he asked with frustration and concern evident in
his voice.
"We
were just going to get something to eat. Ray told me to go get a seat
whilst he parked the car. I was unsure but he said he'd be okay because
officers Gating and Keatly were with him. Anyway after ten minutes I
got worried, went to investigate, and found his car and blood" Fraser
informed him in a lifeless monotone. Welsh shook his head in concern.
"Any
witnesses?" he questioned after a while.
"No
one saw a thing, wouldn't you know it?" Huey replied, most police
officers were often frustrated by the public's lack of co-operation in
most cases, it was often found that 'nobody' ever saw anything, which
sometimes hindered the time that cases took to be solved. Welsh sighed
in frustration. He knew that if they didn't manage to find Ray within
the first twenty-four hours of going missing, then his chances of survival
would be greatly narrowed. Welsh rubbed the bridge of his nose with his
thumb and forefinger, hoping to abate the headache that he could already
feel coming on.
"How
many units have we got in the area?" He asked eventually. Huey was
silent for a minute as he thought.
"Twenty
two within four miles, brought in from all divisions" he replied
after a short while. Welsh nodded, the ordered Huey to issue a description
of the car to all of the units. They remained at the scene for the next
half an hour, collecting evidence, then most officers cleared out and
went back to the station to file reports, make a statement to the press
and inform the other officers. Welsh suddenly realised that Frannie hadn't
even been told, he kicked himself, as he realised that she had been worried
originally.
"Sir,
sir" a young beat cop called to Welsh.
"What?"
Welsh snapped having totally lost his patience.
"We've
found him sir"
"What?
Where?"
"Just
over there. It looks like he's been mugged or something', took quite
a knock to the head" the cop replied. He soon discovered that he
had lost his audience as the entire 27th precinct was keen
to see Ray for themselves. Ray
was sitting inside a squad car with his legs dangling to the ground besides
the car. He had his eyes closed, and a paramedic was pressing a pressure
bandage against a gaping wound on the back of Ray's head. A young man
sat hand cuffed to a nearby officer, after apparently being knocked out
by Ray. Fraser was standing in front of Ray waiting for the medic to
finish up, so that he could talk to Ray himself, Welsh approached and
took his place next to Fraser. Eventually the medic moved away to prepare
to take Ray to hospital. Fraser and Welsh both went to their friend quietly.
Ray eyes opened slowly, blinking rapidly and trying to focus.
"What
happened?" Welsh asked bluntly.
"Guy
jumped me" Ray replied, equally short, and sounding very unlike
himself. Welsh wanted to find out more, but the medic was once again
beside the detective easing him up and walking slowly towards the ambulance
to have his head wound looked at. Welsh and Fraser both moved to a squad
car to follow behind the ambulance. Fraser didn't utter a word as Welsh
drove most of the journey above the speed limit, cutting through various
traffic signals on the way. The young officer in the back remained quiet
throughout the journey, until the tension got o him.
"At
least it appears to be only a random mugging" the kid spoke up,
Welsh nodding realising that the young cop had no idea about the current
situation. Eventually they pulled into the hospital car park and the
kid took the wheel and Fraser and Welsh climbed out and headed towards
the ER. He went straight upto the nearest doctor, whilst Ben hung in
the background keen to find out all he could. Welsh was told to take
a seat, so the two friends went to sit down to wait for news.
After
an hour a doctor came over to talk to them.
"Are
you waiting for Detective Vecchio?" Both men rose to their feet
and nodded in anticipation. "Mr Vecchio suffered quite a blow to
the head, but he was very lucky. He managed to escape with a mild concussion.
He'll have a headache for a couple of days, however I'm fairly happy
to discharge him as long as he's not left on his own. He has to be woken
up at least every four hours and should avoid caffeine. Keep meals light
for a couple of days. Mild dizziness is to be expected, but any severe
disorientation, confusion or bad headaches, don't hesitate to bring him
back here, is this okay?" Fraser nodded immediately keen to get
his friend home.
Ray
looked frighteningly pale by the time Fraser and Welsh had got him home.
All of his usual energy had deserted him as he had received the blow
to the head. Fraser headed straight to the kitchen, whilst Welsh gently
lowered Ray onto the couch. Fraser returned moments later with a glass
of cold water in one hand and Ray's pill bottle in the other. Ray shook
his head as Fraser offered him the tablet.
"No
I can't think when I take them" he whispered.
"That's
good because you don't need to think, you need to sleep" Welsh told
the younger man. Ray decided that he didn't have the energy to argue,
so he simply resigned himself to giving in. He downed the pills and half
the glass of water then Welsh took him under the arms and led him to
the bedroom where he removed his shoes and shirt and pushed him under
the covers. Ray was almost instantly asleep. Welsh noted the time and
went to sit back on the sofa with Fraser.
"Is
he okay?" Fraser asked, Welsh nodded.
"Yeah
I think he'll be just fine. So constable do you think it was a random
mugging, or something else?" Welsh asked, and they both knew what
the something else was.
"I
don't know, both are possible, has the suspect been questioned?"
"Yeah,
but he insists that it was random, but he wouldn't say otherwise, cos
then the beef would go up to attempted murder, and on a cop no less"
"Well
maybe we should speak to Ray when he wakes up"
"Yeah
well we have to wake him up in four hours anyway, but I'd rather let
him go back to sleep afterwards" Welsh replied. He himself felt
extremely paternal to the younger man. The two men fell back into silence.
Both lost in their own thoughts, and both determined to protect their
friend, whatever the cost.
It
was some hours before Welsh deemed Ray fit enough to answer some questions.
He helped the younger man into the living room and sat him down between
himself and Fraser. He handed Ray his pain killers immediately, before
getting himself and Fraser some mineral water.
"So
what can you tell us?" he asked Ray, deciding to cut with the chase.
"Not
much, sir. I was just parking the car, when I was hit over the head by
something heavy. The next thing I know I wake up round the corner with
some bloke looming over me. My gun was gone and he pulled a knife. He
said something about killing me. He knew my name, then I just grasped
around till I found something heavy enough to whack him with. Next thing
I know the cavalry have arrived and I'm seeing stars." Welsh nodded
thoughtfully.
"Well
it isn't much, but if he knew your name then at least it proves that
it wasn't a random thing" the lieutenant continued.
"So
what happens now?" Fraser asked, his concern evident in his voice.
"One
of us stays with Ray till he's fit again, then he spends his days at
the station, at his desk, and the nights with one of us shadowing him.
I'd rather keep the exact details of the situation as confidential as
possible to avoid any leaks, or anyone knowing that doesn't strictly
need to know" Welsh responded.
"Oh
great, so I get no time alone is that it?" a sleepy voice responded
from the couch. Welsh turned to look at Ray.
"Come
on, back to bed. You're dead on your feet" Welsh replied as he physically
pulled Ray to his feet.
"Bad
choice of words Lou" Ray mumbled, as he was almost asleep. Welsh
shook his head and dragged Kowalski back to bed. As soon as he had got
the younger man settled he joined Fraser in the sitting room.
"I
hate to do this to you constable, but I really gotta get going, I've
got to see what was lifted from the scene. Will you be all right here
by yourself?" Welsh asked guiltily.
"Yes
sir, I have no doubt that I will be able to care for Ray adequately in
your absence" he responded respectfully.
"Okay,
just make sure you try to get some sleep yourself all right. Oh and don't
answer the door" Welsh continued, feeling suddenly nervous about leaving
the two alone.
As
soon as Welsh was through the door, Fraser double locked it, removed
his bright red serge, and laid down on the sofa. His mind kept thinking
about Ray. Although originally he had only been pretending to be best
friends with Ray to protect Vecchio, in many ways he was now closer to
Kowalski than he had ever been with Ray Vecchio. Although he still missed
his friend, he didn't feel as empty as he did before his kinship with
Kowalski had fully begun. He decided to check on his friend once more
before he turned in for the night, he quietly made his way to Ray's bedroom
and peeped round the door. His friend was sleeping soundly with his head
to one side, and his mouth slightly open. He looked like a little boy
when he slept, Fraser thought, so vulnerable and young. He smiled to
himself, he would never say that to Ray of course, he'd never describe
him as vulnerable as he had a great deal of hidden strength in his slight
physique. He pulled the covers tighter around his friend, then turned
and went back to the couch, where he laid down.
The
next morning both men arose early, keen to get the day started. Ray took
the first turn in the shower, hardly muttering a word as he did so, he
seemed very withdrawn and quiet, but Fraser just put it down to the bang
on the head.
It
only took the two forty-five minutes to get ready, then they were heading
to the station in Ray's GTO with Fraser at the wheel, much to Ray's disgust.
Neither man felt like stopping for breakfast, so by silent agreement
they headed straight towards the station. They acknowledged only a few
fellow officers on their direct route to Welsh's office.
Welsh looked up straight away when he noticed who had arrived, he himself had come into work early, with the theory that Ray and Fraser would also arrive early, he had been right.
No
one said a word and the trio stood in silence whilst each man thought
of what to say. Eventually it was Fraser that broke the silence.
"Sir,
have you thought about what happens now?" Fraser asked,
"Well
I've spoken to the District Attorney, Not Stella" he added quickly before
Ray could object "and they have agreed to try to get the case processed
as soon as humanly possible, but given the incident last night the people
up stairs want you in protective custody as soon as possible until; this
thing is over" Welsh told Ray, waiting for an argument, and was surprised
when the detective just nodded his head. It was Fraser that sighed, he
knew that protective custody would drive Ray mad, and force him to withdraw
even further into the shell that he had surrounded himself in. Even Welsh
didn't want Ray forced into the situation. "Hopefully it will be finished
within a couple of weeks." Welsh concluded.
"Yes
Sir" Ray muttered, and Fraser couldn't help but notice how pale his friend
looked.
The
rest of the day passed slowly with Ray having to reiterate his statement
several times to the many different departments. Fraser and Welsh had
little to do except sit back and watch, a safe house had already been
arranged for Ray, and it had already been decided that he should be guarded
by familiar officers so Huey and Dewey had first watch along with Fraser
and of course Dief.
As
soon as the shift was over the four men drove mutely to their home for
the next couple of weeks. The house they were staying in was fairly large
with three separate bedrooms, two bathrooms, a large kitchen and a wide
expanse of lounge. All the windows were bullet proof so the quarters
could effectively fulfil their purpose; the doors also had a wide range
of locks. Ray immediately took his bag and settled in the medium sized
room with the twin beds in it, Fraser followed planning on sharing the
room, as soon as he entered the room he saw Ray spread out on the bed
against the wall, he was asleep already. Fraser couldn't help but worry
about his friend.
Huey
and Dewey flopped down on the sofa.
"This
isn't bad is it?" Tom, told Jack.
"Keep
your mind on the job, this is one of us we are talking about here, focus"
Jack responded.
"Yeah
you're right" Tom conceded. Actually managing to look repentant. He decided
for a change of tact. "So you think they'll try to get him?" he asked.
"I
hope not, I really hope not" Jack replied, looking very serious.
Each
of the men slept well that night, in preparation for what may be to come,
and in some cases namely Ray's, exhaustion. All of the men rose from
their sleep away, and carried out their ablutions without uttering an
unnecessary word. Huey and Dewey remained within the safe house until
ten in the morning when they were relieved by two detectives that Ray
had worked with under his own identity. Even he had to admit that familiarity
helps. Half way through the shift, and one of the officers decided that
he needed a cigarette.
"I
could do with one too" Ray whispered quietly.
"You
don't smoke" Fraser responded. Ray shrugged. "Look if you need a cigarette
in order to offer Ray the best protection, then I'll go and purchase
some on your behalf" Fraser continued, not wanting to leave his friend,
but unwilling to jeopardize his friends life by removing one of his guards.
Fraser
walked quickly down to the nearest shop and a bought packet of ten cigarettes.
When Fraser returned to the safe house, he was concerned to find that
the door was wide open, he was overwhelmed with the smell of blood. He
placed his arm over his mouth and ventured inside. A trail of blood lead
from the doorway to the bathroom, and Fraser cautiously followed it.
There he found Detective Theating laying on the lino floor, covered in
his blood, his breath came in shallow gasps, when he saw Fraser he whispered,
but even Fraser couldn't catch what he was saying, so he leaned forward.
"Ray's
hit, but they took him" he whispered slightly louder, before his life
ebbed away. Fraser released the man's hand and went straight for the
phone. Fraser found his hand was shaking as he dialled the number of
the precinct into the phone. Francesca answered the phone, and he asked
to be directed towards the lieutenant. She picked immediately up on his
tone of voice.
"Is
Ray okay?" she asked straight away.
"Please
Francesca, pass me onto the lieutenant, it's very important that I talk
to him" she did as he asked straight away, especially when she heard
his clipped tone that the polite Mountie would never usually use.
"Welsh"
"Sir,
it's constable Benton Fraser. Sir the house has been raided sir, Ray's
gone and the two officers are dead"
"Shit!
Stay put constable we're coming over" Fraser placed down the phone and
sat down the couch, the shock only just hitting him. He run his hands
over his face as he worried after his friend. Less than ten minutes later
Welsh appeared through the entrance with half of the rest of the precinct
in tow. Fraser suspected that very little of the journey had passed under
the speed limit, especially as during good traffic times the journey
took half an hour at best.
"Shit!"
Welsh exclaimed as he entered the safe house, the floor was a wide expanse
of blood, with the majority of furniture turned over or shot to pieces.
"We need samples of the blood, we need to find out whose it is, and someone
tell the families of Bennet and Theating. We need to find out if Ray's
been hit" Huey nodded.
"I'll
get on to it" Before anyone could say anything he was on the phone ordering
forensics.
Ray
came awake suddenly, his head housed a dull thud, and his arm felt as
though it were on fire.
"Oh shit" he groaned as he tried to move more. He blinked his eyes to adjust to the darkness, but before he could focus a boot came hard into his ribs, and he rolled to avoid the pressure. It was followed by another and then another, he cried out in pain, as time after time he was viciously kicked in the ribs. Until eventually he closed his eyes and let the darkness overtake him once more.
Fraser rubbed his hands over his face in frustration for what felt like the thousandth time in as many minutes. He had to be missing something some vital clue, it couldn't just be a kidnapping to stop Ray from testifying, the felons operated like professionals so it should be assumed that they had a good understanding of the American judicial system, so surely they would know that it would be possible for the trial to be postponed until the key witness was able to testify as long as the certain number of days were not over and the person in question was involuntarily absent. So either they were planning on keeping him unavailable for the whole thirty days or they were going to kill him. Fraser wasn't overly keen on either of the options but preferred the former to the latter. When he spoke to Welsh a few moments later it proved that their minds had been following similar trains of thought.
"We
have to find him quickly" Welsh told Fraser forcefully and both men ushered
away to see what they could do.
When
Ray next came back to consciousness, he was amazed that the beating seemed
to have stopped, but it only took a moment before he winced in pain,
even breathing seemed to hurt, he closed his eyes and swallowed hard,
actually hoping that they would kill him, just to end his suffering.
He took a moment then looked around him, the room was dark, and no windows
were visible,, however there were two doors within view. Apart from that
the room was bare, Ray tried to take in his own appearance, his shirt
was torn, so only rags remained, what was left was soaked in his own
blood. He wasn't cuffed or chained up, which probably displayed the improbability
of his escaping. Every part of him ached, and he knew that even if he
could somehow open either of the doors, he wouldn't even be able to move
that far.
"Where
the fuck can he be?!" Welsh shouted, echoing the thoughts of every officer
in the precinct. Fraser stood silently by the door; he couldn't help
feeling that he was missing a vital clue to the whereabouts of his friend.
"Sir
we have to think logically about this" Fraser told him, still pacing.
"Okay,
and how do you suggest we use logic then Fraser?" Welsh questioned
"Well
obviously we don't know exactly who is in the gang, but we do know most
of their names, form and associates, well we just see what we can lift
any of them for then grill them for information, even if we have to kick
them in the head as it were" Fraser concluded, very out of character,
and using Ray's favourite expression. Welsh looked at him with a shocked
expression on his face. He nodded slowly, actually liking the idea, he
would do almost anything to get Ray back, he thought with a sadness unfamiliar
to it him, when was it exactly that he had grown so fond of the younger
man? Sure Ray could be aggravating, irritating, spontaneous, had a wild
temper and a short fuse, but he was a brilliant cop and a caring, considerate
man. He was a man that Welsh was proud to call a friend, and he was sure
that it was returned especially with the loyalty that Ray had shown him
in the past, frequently putting his neck on the line as Vecchio in order
to protect his friends and his department.
"Okay,
I'll give the order" he replied after a long pause.
The
next time Ray returned to consciousness, he felt slightly better, it
seemed that the goons had finally stopped hitting him, he knew that if
he could just hold on until the trial date had passed then he would be
okay, he gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut as a wave of pain
washed over him. He almost let out hiss, he couldn't believe that even
moving a finger sent pain coursing through his entire body, he wondered
how long he had been there, 'Come on Frase I need ya buddy!'
IT
had been three days since Ray had been grabbed, and it was only one day
till the trial, the men and women of the 27th had spent the
time interviewing members of the gang day and night. They had only managed
to come up with some minor clues, everyone was getting frustrated, but
their general concern and worry for Ray's well being spurred them on.
Ray
opened his eyes to bright sunlight, he felt sick at the sight, and the
light hurt his eyes. He didn't know how long it had been since he had
been taken, but he knew that he hadn't eaten since and had only had limited
amounts of water, in his debilitated state he could hardly raise an arm,
both because of the strength he lacked and the pain that such an action
would invoke in him. He once more
closed his eyes, he was alarmed by how far down he had gone, the time
he managed to stay awake had go less and less as the trauma had gone
on, he found he didn't care and gently slipped back in to unconsciousness.
"Fraser
we got a lead!" Welsh called out across the squad room, gaining everyone
immediate attention. Before anyone could think about it they were all
piled into cars, grabbing bullet proof vests and extra ammo, on the way
out, as soon as the briefing had finished, as everybody knew that there
was no time to waste.
Ray
felt himself raising from the ground, and wondered if this was it, maybe
he had finally been put out of his misery, just slipped away to the other
life, however when he felt the pain that came from him being moved, he
knew he hadn't died, surely there was no pain when you had died? Snippets
of conversation cut through his thoughts, as the men carrying him spoke
urgently to each other.
"You
know he don't look too good, I don't think we should move him. I mean
what if he croaks?"
"Look
man you know we ain't got no choice, the boss says that the filth are
on to us, so we gotta get 'im out of here before they arrive and bust
the lot of us!" the second voice responded.
"Okay,
but don't blame me if we get sent down for cop killing"
"What
did you say?" the other voice started, suddenly anxious.
"I
was just saying if he dies, we'll get sent down for killing a cop"
"He's
a cop?" the voice asked incredulously.
"Yeah
didn't the boss tell you the details of the job?"
"No,
he knows I wouldn't of done it if I'd have known that he was a cop. I
got no beef with cops! I ain't even got a record, come on man, I mean
what's he done to deserve this apart from being a cop?"
"He's
gonna testify against Hedges and the gang!"
"So
what, I mean what's this really gonna solve, he'll probably testify after
we've let him go anyway, so what's the point?"
"Would
you testify if someone had done that to you?" The first voice asked,
and the question hung in silence as both men continued to carry the injured
detective out of the warehouse and into a waiting van. The second man, known as John Urban, handled Ray gently
and with care, whilst Richard Verve was more forceful, treating the fallen
man like a sack of potatoes. Once they had gotten Ray into the van, Urban
realised that he had left something behind, so quickly dashed back into
the warehouse, grabbed his mobile telephone, it was then that he came
up with an idea, he pulled out his notebook and quickly scribbled a note
to the police leaving them a clue to their new location. He carefully
pinned it to the wall and left the building. He then went back to the waiting van and sped off.
The
entire precinct burst into the abandoned warehouse, to find out that
it was exactly that. The whole squad breathed a sigh of frustration.
They holstered their weapons in unison and immediately began combing
the area for vital clues, it didn't take Fraser long to find a note pinned
to the wall, however before he removed it, he investigated the floor.
It was covered in an extensive pool of blood, it was obviously Ray's.
"We
have to find him sir" Fraser spoke to Welsh gesturing at the blood.
"We
will Fraser, we will" Welsh replied, gently pulling the note from the
wall. He placed it into a plastic
evidence bag and read it through the clear bag.
Your friend is being
held until the court date, bring the date forward he'll be
Released, right now he's in a place where the fishing is
great and birds are
Willing. A hot place in all seasons, and pigs
generally spend a lot of time there. Your man needs to catch a bus, but
the timetable is not good.
He needs help, I ain't got no beef with the
pigs
Welsh frowned in puzzlement.
"What's
he going on about wildlife for?" he questioned to no one in particular.
Ray
stirred slightly, banging into the sides of the van, he hissed in pain
as even the slightest movement hurt his fragile body. He tried to survey
his surroundings, but found it impossible in the pitch darkness, however
he did discover that someone had had the courtesy to drape a blanket
over him and place a pillow under his head, with that thought he allowed
himself to once again drift away.
Fraser
read the note through again, and after a moment voiced his thoughts to
Welsh.
"I
don't think that any of this is meant in the literal sense, I mean most
of these words have double meanings sir" Welsh nodded.
"Go
on constable" he encouraged.
"Well, 'fishing' could mean hunting and 'birds' can mean women or ladies sir. When he refers to 'pigs' he could in actuality mean the police" Welsh rolled his eyes, but Fraser continued anyway. "When he uses the word 'hot' he could mean that there is a lot of criminal activity in the area. However the words 'bus' and 'timetable' have got me stumped sir" Welsh nodded thoughtfully, then sighed deeply before explaining to his Canadian counterpart.
"Bus,
is slang for an ambulance, and the reference to a timetable probably
insinuates that Kowalski is in a bad way" Welsh told him gently, not
revelling in delivering the news himself. Fraser nodded, agreeing with
Welsh's answer, but not liking it one bit.
"Well
sir, we have to find Ray. To do this what area is highly populated by
women, and police officers but still has a high amount of criminal activity?"
Fraser questioned, Welsh shook his head, even after all these years he
was not used to Fraser's naivety.
"Constable
I think he means hookers. We need to find an area of Chicago that has
a lot of prostitution, and gets raided on a regular basis" Fraser nodded,
understanding at once what Welsh was getting at. "I s'pose he could mean
the Eastland couldn't he?" Welsh asked not expecting an answer; he leaned
out of his office and hollered for Huey and Dewey to come into the office.
They did so, with Francesca in tow. "We got a lead, I want you to gather
the squad together and kitted up." They did so, and when everyone was
gathered round, Welsh addressed the group.
"We're
heading to the Eastland, lets go get our boy back" Welsh told them.
"But
sir, isn't that where all the hookers hang?" Dewey questioned.
"Yes,
but we're not there for that, we just wanna get Ray back and leave, hopefully
bust the guys holding him, but nothing else, got it?" Welsh responded
forcefully. There were nods all round, then the group headed out. They
were driving round, looking for somewhere where it would be possible
to hold someone, the Eastland were fairly small, so there were limited
places, as soon as Fraser spotted a warehouse the whole group stopped
and were briefed quickly.
Meanwhile
Urban gently lowered Ray down on his back, minding his injuries.
"Thanks
man", Ray gasped out, Urban narrowly held back tears.
"I'm
sorry. I didn't know what they were gonna do to you, or I would never
have done it. I'm sorry it's all right though I left a note and your
mates are gonna be here real soon to help you."
"You
shouldn't have done that.......... You know what will happen if they......if
they find out" Ray forced through his parched bloody lips.
"Yes
you do don't you" a voice called out from the doorway, Urban looked round
and saw Verve standing there aiming a gun at him. "It's been real man"
the man said as he pulled the trigger hitting Urban square between the
eyes where he fell on top of Ray, Ray would have screamed, but he didn't
have the energy, so he just passed out again.
Welsh
and the troops heard the shot from outside and immediately went into
the warehouse. An ambulance came screeching round the corner as all the
police burst in and apprehended two men in the building.
"Find
Ray" Welsh barked to Fraser, Fraser shot of at a run, carefully searching
each part of the building, until he came to the back where a pool of
blood lead him to his best friend sprawled underneath a corpse. Fraser
gently pulled the bigger man off of his partner, and knelt down to check
for a pulse, it was there but very weak. His friend had lost so much
blood, it was amazing that he was still alive. Welsh appeared next to
him.
"Is
he....?" He questioned dreading the answer.
"He's
still alive" Fraser informed him before turning back to his partner.
"Ray? Ray can you hear me?" he tried, but to no avail, it seemed that
his friend was too deeply unconscious. After a moment Fraser and Welsh
were cast aside by the ambulance crew, they attached many monitors and
IVs to Ray, before gently sliding him onto a stretcher and loading him
into an ambulance, taking only minor details such as name and age before
speeding away. Fraser and Welsh exchanged a glance before quickly getting
into Welsh's car and speeding away, not caring about the crime scene
at that moment. They managed at the hospital moments before the ambulance,
and making their way to the waiting room, to await news on their mutual
friend. They saw him once in three hours and that was as he was wheeled
past them into the emergency room, the sheets around him were covered
with his own blood, and he was white as those sheets once were.
Hours
later Welsh and Fraser finally saw the doctor, who emerged from Ray's
room wearing blood covered scrubs, and a very serious face.
"Are
you here for Detective Vecchio?" he asked, at the nods from both men
he continued. "Well Detective Vecchio lost a lost of blood, he also suffered
three broken ribs, a bruised heart, a fractured knee, a severe concussion
not to mention numerous cuts and bruises and some bruising internal.
All in all, he is in a very serious condition. The bullet caused muscle
damage to his shoulder and tore the muscle, the fact that it wasn't treated
or had pressure applied to it accounts for the severe blood loss that
he suffered. He is still deeply unconscious and we won't know if the
blood loss will cause any long term damage until he comes round. To be
honest he's not out of the woods, and whether or not he makes it is up
to him."
"What
can we do?" Welsh asked.
"To
be honest all you can do is be there, try to make sure he has regular
visits and make him feel wanted. If and when he comes round it's going
to be a long hard road to recovery. Not just physically. Detective Vecchio
has been through a very traumatic experience and he may go through mood
swings, very solemn and brooding one minute, the next cheerful and happy, and the next full of anger and contempt.
You must be prepared for this and stick by him, can I rely on you to
do this?" Both men nodded and the doctor smiled, "he's just being moved
up to his room, when he's comfortable you can go and sit with him" Welsh
and Fraser sat down heavily both eager to go and see their friend.
Ten
minutes passed before the doctor came to tell them that they could go
and see him. When they went into his room, both men were shocked by his
appearance. He lay flat on the bed, with a ventilator breathing for him.
His head was encased in thick white bandages, and his shoulder was strapped
up. One leg was slightly raised with something placed under the covers
to ensure that the sheets didn't touch his leg. His chest was bandaged
up to protect his broken ribs. Both men looked up at the mottled bruises
up and down his arms, and they suspected under the bandages. One eye
was heavily bruised and Fraser suspected in was swollen shut. An IV run
into one arm, and blood was being given into the other, two bags at once.
Fraser rubbed his hands over his face his friend was so ill, He sat down
into the nearest chair and took hold of his friend's hand, it was cold
to the touch and so still that his friend could have been dead, and he
wouldn't have noticed the difference. Ray was usually so active that
it pained Fraser to see him so still. He felt a hand squeeze his shoulder
and suddenly remembered Welsh's presence.
"Fraser,
sorry ta do this to ya, but I gotta be getting back to the scene, gotta
make sure these guys don't get off on some technicality" Fraser nodded
and stayed put. Welsh quietly left. Fraser just watched his friend's
chest rise and fall, and drifted asleep to the steady beep of the rhythm,
the only sign that his friend was indeed alive and breathing. The next
morning Fraser was woken from an unrestful sleep by Francesca.
"Hi
Frase" he muttered, not bothering to flirt anymore. He muttered a response.
"Why
don't you go and get shaved and washed, I'll stay with Ray," she told
him, not taking her eyes away from her pretend brother. Fraser nodded
before leaving, sensing that Frannie wanted some time alone with her
friend, he had sensed a non sisterly fondness towards his partner for
some time. As soon as Fraser had departed, Frannie sat down on his recently
vacated seat and clutched Ray's hand, she gently sung a song that she
had heard on the radio that morning to him, she felt that the words were
very apt.
"Been
so long since I found someone,
You came as some surprise,
But I knew you were meant for me,
When I looked into your eyes,
So beautiful and strong,
Boy where did you come from,
As life passed me by,
You fell from the sky
Walking around my head hanging
Down I felt so alone.
And your love seemed miles away
I was a heart without a home
In the rain you took the clouds away"
"That's
beautiful Francesca" Fraser said from behind her,
"Fraser
I thought you'd gone" she whispered back, her face flushed,
"I
came back" he replied, just as quietly. "You love him don't you?" he
asked gently. She nodded just as the tears began to flow. She explained
to Fraser how she only realised how much she cared for Kowalski when
he was grabbed, and now she feared that she would never get to tell him.
Fraser hugged her close as she confessed her heart to him. He listened
and then when she was finished he told her some Ray stories, she laughed
then told him some of Ray's exploits, many evenings passed these way,
with the two friends exchanging stories about their friend.
One
evening two weeks later Frannie and Fraser were discussing an incident
about a month before, when Fraser was being held hostage and Ray rode
a Police motorbike through the window in order to rescue his partner,
when Fraser thought he saw slight movement from the bed.
"Francesca
did you see that?" he questioned gently.
"huh
uh" she replied, and they watched for more movement.
"Ray,
it's Fraser, can you hear me? Please open your eyes if you can hear me"
he continued and sure enough Ray's eyes began to flicker open, however
as soon as they did, he began to panic, trying to dispel the ventilator
tube down his throat. "Go and get the doctor" Fraser told Francesca,
she dashed away whilst Fraser tried to get ray to calm down, so that
he didn't choke on the tube. The doctor ran into the room and Fraser
and Francesca were asked to leave. Ten minutes later the doctor emerged
from the room, Fraser looked at him questioningly.
"Well
Detective Vecchio is awake, however I am loath to remove the ventilator
as yet, his heart and lungs are still in a weakened state, so I'm going
to give him the extra breathing support to allow time to heal. The downside
is he will be unable to speak for a while, however he can communicate
through blink of the eye, one for yes two for no etc. Anyway you can
go back in, but avoid getting him agitated." Both friends eagerly went
back into the room, just to see their friend in a slightly better state.
They approached the bed with caution, neither wanting to startle their
friend. Both narrowly held back
from crying when they saw tears streaming down Ray's face. Frannie reached
out and squeezed his hand, she held her breath until she felt a slight
replying pressure. Fraser didn't know what to do, not being one to easily
display emotion, he just lurked in the background, feeling a deep hurt
in the pit of his stomach for his two friends. Frannie was just content to sit and
hold his hand staring at his World worthy deep blue eyes.
Two
days passed in this fashion before the doctor decided that ray was progressing
enough to be taken off of the ventilator. Fraser stood at the back of
the room as the tube was removed and held his own breath as Ray took
his first agonising unaided breaths. He reached out and held Ray's hand
as his friend's breathing changed into an almost normal rhythm. Ray attempted
to speak but no sound rose from his dry throat, Fraser anticipated his
difficulties and reached for the nearby cup of ice chips helping the
detective to place some in his mouth. After a moment, while Ray allowed
the ice to melt in his mouth, Ray eventually spoke.
"How
long?" he whispered, Fraser understood immediately.
"Four
weeks since you were taken and three weeks since you were found" he responded
squeezing his friend's hand, Frannie stayed hovering in the background.
Ray squeezed his eyes tightly shut.
"Why
can't I move?" he asked his voice barely hearable.
"They
are just using restraints so that you don't try and move too much and
hurt yourself." Fraser supplied again.
"Frase?"
"Yes
Ray?"
"Do
you think that I can have some time alone please, I need some time to
think" Ray asked, his voice barely strong enough to utter the words.
After a while Fraser nodded.
"If
there is anything at all that you need, just ask the doctor to call me"
he told his friend with a reassuring smile. Frannie stepped forward.
"The
same goes for me bro" she told him with a smile and a gentle kiss of
his bruised cheek. He managed a weak grin in response. The two left with
a look over their shoulders. As soon as his friends had gone Ray closed
his eyes and allowed the tears to fall.
They
had just made it outside when Frannie realised that she had left her
wallet in Ray's room. She threw her car keys to Fraser and headed back
inside the hospital, when she arrived back at Ray's room, she wasn't
surprised to find him crying. She slowly walked across to him, and pulled
him into her arms while the agonising sobs wracked through his weakened
body. She didn't know what he was crying for, he had so many possibilities.
He could be crying for the child that had died, the officers that were
killed protecting him, the death of the only man that had looked out
for him during his ordeal, or the least likely knowing Ray, he could
be crying for himself. She gently rubbed his back uttering soothing words,
and rocking him slightly, before long he had cried himself to sleep and
she gently laid his head back against the pillows and allowed him to
sleep his demons away for now, she went back outside and drove Fraser
back to the consulate, then she drove herself back to Ray. She was pleased
to see he was still asleep and more or less in the same position that
he was when she had left. She sat down in the seat beside the bed and
watch him sleep, she started to think about the day they had met, how
she was immediately taken by his startling true blue eyes, and his deceptively
soft spiky hair, in that beautiful straw blond colour. She had immediately
got on with him, and had found it difficult to keep up the brother sister
rouse. She knew that she'd never have a chance with him, she'd heard
the girls gossiping in the ladies room about who they'd want to date,
and although some may find it surprising he came top on the list out
of the men working at the precinct, some had even gone further and chosen
him over Fraser, he had to know how popular he was with the women, but
yet he did nothing about it, she knew it must be because he was still
deeply in love with Stella. She was brought out of her reverie by Ray
crying out.
"Please,
don't shoot him. He's just a child for god sake! No shoot me instead!
Damn you! Take me, he's got his whole life ahead of him! NNNNNOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"
He screamed as he sat up in the bed, then the cry of fright and anger
turned into one of pain as his injuries protested against the sudden
movement. Frannie dashed to the panic alarm and summoned the nurse, she
gave Ray a sedative and shushed him to sleep, while Frannie resumed her
vigil beside the bed.
As
the weeks went by Ray's physical health slowly improved, with his emotional
state improving day by day, his close network of friends were always
present to support him it wasn't until one day three months after his
capture that he first stepped back into the station. Since his ordeal
he was amazed by the new found respect that his colleagues had for him.
He only went to the station to do the identity parade for his aggressors.
He took a deep breath before entering the station and headed straight
for Welsh's office using the assistance of his crutches, ignoring the
whispers of those around him. He held his head high and only briefly
acknowledged the new found love of his life, Francesca, as she held the
lieutenants door open for him.
"Ah
Vecchio, pleased to see you could make it. How are you holding up son?"
Welsh asked.
"I'm
good sir" he replied.
"How
are you really?" Welsh persisted.
"Not
so bad, leg still gives me trouble and I get a lot of headaches, the
nightmares still aren't leaving me alone, but apart from that I'm fine"
he responded honestly.
"And that's your definition of fine is it detective?"
"It's
all relative sir" he replied with a grin.
"Where's
Fraser?" Welsh asked, surprised at the lack of the mounty.
"I
told him I wanted to do this alone"
"Do
you think that's wise?"
"I
have to face them sir" Ray replied determinedly.
"Okay
then, lets go" Welsh led the younger man slowly to the identity sweet
and sat him down gently. "Right you know the drill, so I won't explain
it to you" he told him quietly, he placed a supporting hand on the younger
man and waited while the suspects were lead in. Ray quickly identified
all of them, keeping a straight focused head. Welsh congratulated him,
then helped him out to his awaiting taxi. "Are you okay?" he asked ,
at Ray's nod he continued. "If you need to talk call me okay? Promise?"
"Promise
Lou" he replied, before clumsily climbing into the taxi. He arrived home
and finally allowed himself to break. All of the motion of the last three
months caught up on him. The fact that he had had to kill someone, the
death of the child, his capture and torture, and the guilt of Urban's
death still weighed him down. He hadn't spoken to anyone about it, he
had refused to talk to the police psychologist, hoping that he could
work it out for himself, he had almost managed it, but seeing those guys
again today brought it all back to him. He sighed and pulled himself
a beer out of the fridge. He sat down on the couch and drank himself
into oblivion.
Fraser
couldn't stay away from his friend any longer, he knew that his friend
told him that he wanted to go alone, but he was worried and he couldn't
help it, he let himself into Ray's apartment with his spare key and was
shocked to find Ray passed out on the couch surrounded by several empty
beer bottles. He held back his gasp and moved to shake his friend awake.
Ray came to with a gasp.
"Hey
Frase" he rasped.
"Hello
Ray, would you like to talk about it?" he asked getting straight to the
point.
"About
what?" Ray asked avoiding the question.
"Right
I have had enough with this, now I want you to tell me what's been going
on in here" he stated pointing to Ray's head and taking his younger partner
completely by surprise.
"Nothing
I'm fine" Ray replied refusing to make eye contact.
"Ray
please talk to me, is this about Urban? Or the nightmares, because I
know you haven't been sleeping"
"It's nothing, I just have trouble sleeping
because it brings it all back. Everytime I close my eyes I see the kid,
or Urban, I can't help it, and then their faces are replaced by blood
and brains. I know it's sick but I can't help it. When that kid was killed
I saw it all, I tried to stop him I screamed at him to take me instead,
but he wouldn't. I tried to look away when I saw what he was gonna do,
but I couldn't even close my eyes, I watched it all, it was terrible
Frase. Then when John was killed it was cos of me. He'd left that note
so that you could find me and help me, then Verve killed him. I just
saw a look of total shock cross his face, and then he went all limp and
fell on top of me. And all I could was I'm just as bad as Verve, I killed
someone too. I mean not for the same reason but it don't make no difference
here Frase. I mean I'm as bad as them. In my dream, I see the kid then
his face is replaced by Urban's and I see them get killed but instead
of being killed by Verve or Hedges they are killed by me. Then Theating
was killed too, did you know I'd gone through the academy with him? He
was my first partner as well. We were like brothers for years, until
this gig came up, it's my fault he was killed as well, he had a wife
and kids for god sake, and now he's dead cos of me!" Ray continued while
Fraser sat back in silence. "Hedges should just have taken me then none
of these people would have to have died."
"Ray
what you feel is perfectly natural, survivors guilt is very common, but
none of this is your fault, you are completely innocent to this. Urban
died because he chose to help you, but he wouldn't have had to help you
if he hadn't have been involved in your capture in the first place, and
the child died because of Hedges, that is not your fault. You did everything
that you possibly could, even arresting the man responsible, it doesn't
bring him back, but it is some consolation to the parents. Ray none of
this is your fault, I know that you don't want to hear this now, but
in time you will accept it and learn to live with yourself, in the meantime
you have to concentrate on your own recovery and the prosecution of your
attackers." Ray nodded.
"How
come your so smart Frase?" Ray asked with a grin.
"Well
Ray..."
"Frase
shut up" Ray responded.
"Understood"
Two
months later and Ray sat and adjusted his tie for about the millionth
time that day. It was the day of the hearing and Ray was incredibly nervous.
As soon as he heard his name he rose from his seat and hobbled into the
court room, choosing not to use his crutches despite his still weakened
state. He took his place and took his oath.
"Detective
do you see your attackers here?"
"Yes
sir"
"Could
you please gesture to them please?"
"Yes
sir, they are the defendants" he replied. After a long line of questioning
he was finally finished, after a trial of two weeks the men were finally
found guilty and each giving two life sentences, Fraser, Ray, Welsh and
Frannie went to a nearby bar.
"So
are you relieved that it's all over?" Frannie asked Ray
"Yeah
more than relieved" he responded
"So detective what are you gonna do
with the rest of your sick leave?" Welsh asked.
"I
think I'm gonna go away for a while, walk around with my eyes closed
for a while" he replied, each member of the group understood what he
meant. "After all I'm sick of looking at the World with open eyes" he
continued, before putting his bottle down and setting off for home.
"Do you think he'll come back to work again?" Welsh asked Fraser.
"Yes
sir, I think he just needs a bit of time to get his head straight, he's
been through a lot" he replied.
It
was six months before Kowalski finally returned to work as a detective,
he came back rested and healthy. He still suffered from the occasional
headache and twinges in his leg, but he was still the same old Ray, a
slightly quieter version, but everyone was so relieved to see him back
that nobody minded.
The
End.
The lyrics were from a song called 'Don't stop looking for love' By an Irish band called Boyzone.