Due South: Alliance

INTRODUCTION : I was never satisfied with Ray's reaction at the end of 'Seeing is Believing'. Ray had already proven his willingness to defend the life of his partner. This story is written with the assumption that Ray did not remain in hiding when Fraser approached the gunman.

A Dark and Rainy Night

  By: Winston

Constable Benton Fraser of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police was having a quiet evening at the Consulate. He couldn't help but feel rather satisfied with the results of the day. He had helped unwind the confused events of the mall killing. His three associates had all witnessed the murder and yet the conflicting stories that had resulted had indeed been a puzzle.

The events in the alley only added to the Mountie's general feelings of self-satisfaction. He had been sure that the felon's gun was empty, and had been equally sure of his ability to successfully intercept any projectile the man may have chosen to throw his way. All in all Fraser realized that what he was feeling was bordering on just plain smugness. It was that realization that turned the Mountie to thoughts of his friend's contribution to the solving of this crime. He knew that he had no right to take full credit for this. Welsh had often been the voice of reason, Meg had allowed herself to be hypnotized, and Ray.... It was the remembrance of his partner's actions that brought the Mountie up short.

Benton moved to the window. It had been raining all evening, but at the moment the Mountie was oblivious to that. In his mind's eye he reviewed the scene in the alley, and it suddenly made him feel very ashamed of his earlier overblown appraisal of his actions.

Upon determining that he was out of ammunition Ray had wisely taken cover. But once Fraser had entered the picture and had brazenly approached the perpetrator Ray had abandoned his hiding spot and had joined the Mountie in confronting the man. The thin Detective had stepped from cover with his empty gun aimed at the felon, his other arm spread wide in his attempt to draw the man's attention away from his partner.

Benton had no qualms about approaching the man. He knew his gun was empty, and was comfortable with his ability to thwart the man's attempt at using his knife, but the only thing Ray Kowalski had was courage and a dogged determination to protect his partner at all costs. Benton knew that Ray stepped from cover totally convinced that the felon's gun was not empty.

Ray Kowalski, his friend and partner, had once again, in their short time together, been willing to protect the Mountie's life with his own. It was a realization that warmed Fraser to the bone, but at this point also caused him the shame of realizing that he had in no way acknowledged what his partner had been willing to do.

Luckily the perpetrator had thrown his knife at the Mountie instead of at Kowalski. In the hectic events that followed all Ray had gotten for his effort was verbal abuse from Inspector Thatcher for allowing himself to run out of ammunition, and a reprimand from Welsh for exposing himself in a reckless manner. And then there was the smug assurance from his partner that Ray's actions were really unneeded, as the Mountie had things under control from the beginning.

Benton Fraser could almost feel the twist of the knot that was forming somewhere deep inside. He had indeed allowed his own self-satisfaction to blind him to the sacrifice that his partner had been so willing to make in his behalf. Although it was just after 10:00pm the Mountie hurried to the nearest phone and placed a quick call to his friend. There was no answer. Within minutes the Mountie was in a cab and headed out into the rainy Chicago night.

When the taxi pulled up at Ray's apartment building Fraser noticed two things: Ray's car was in it's assigned spot and a lone figure was standing just inside the building entrance, staring out at the rain. As Fraser neared the door it was Ray's landlady who pushed the door open and ushered the Mountie inside.

The woman held a heavy robe tightly around her and had fuzzy house slippers on her feet. It was obvious that she was ready for bed. As Fraser carefully shook the rain from his Stetson he couldn't help, but notice the rather relieved look on the woman's face.

"Your friends not here Mister...I was...uh..kinda watchin' for him, but you're here now so...."

"Do you have any idea where Ray might have gone?" As he spoke Fraser carefully took the woman by the arm as she made her way back towards her apartment.

"Nah...It's hard ta tell with that one. He does this quite a bit ya know." As she spoke the older woman gave the Mountie a rather embarrassed smile. "After I let you in his apartment that time I went up and talked ta him about it...Me lettin' ya in and everything. Most we ever talked up 'till then. Your friends a hard fella ta get ta know...but it's worth the effort...He's a good kid."

"Understood."

"Anyways. We talk a lot more now...I just worry about him when he does this...that's all." By now the two had reach the woman's apartment and Fraser was surprised when she opened her door and motioned him in.

"Does what ma'am?" Fraser's curiosity had been aroused by her comments.

"Well you know him better than I do, but even I can kinda tell what a sensitive guy he is an all, and sometimes when his mood matches the weather he just gets a wild hair and off he goes." The woman gave Fraser a small shy smile as she continued. "At least he wore a jacket this time...last time he just took off in shirt sleeves and was gone for over an hour....I hope ya don't think I'm nosey, it's just that he kinda grows on ya I guess....and I know he ain't got nobody...'sept for you that is...and I don't know...I just kinda worry about him. At least when he's bothered with somethin' and does that clompin' stuff I know he's alright."

Fraser gave the old woman a warm smile. It was nice to know that someone else had seen through Ray's bluff and realized the value of the personality that Ray seemed determined to hide from the world.

"He does tend to grow on a person...Much like a fungus."

The two people shared a chuckle as the woman made her way to the counter and unplugged a small crock-pot and wrapped it carefully in a heavy towel. Before handing the dish over to the Mountie she handed him a spare key to Ray's apartment.

"Ya might as well wait for him upstairs." She walked the Mountie back to the hall and then continued. "I made him a pot a soup...It's from a can, but it will give him somethin' warm ta eat when he gets back. Oh and ya might as well keep da key...I got another."

Fraser turned and gave the woman his warmest smile. "Ray is very fortunate to have you for a landlady, and I want to thank you for watching out for him."

"Ya well the skinny shit needs a babysitter mosta the time, but I guess the two a us will have ta do huh?" The woman chuckled lightly as she gave the Mountie a solid slap on the back.

"Right you are."

Fraser had stationed himself at Ray's window. From what he knew of his partner and from what the landlady had said the Mountie had figured that Ray had walked to the lakefront. He knew that from Ray's apartment it was a good half-hour walk to the lake. A fact that would fit into the time frame of his other walks. The Mountie also knew that the lakefront was one of Ray's favorite destinations when he needed time to think. If that were where he had gone, and logic indicated that it was, Benton would be able to see his partner's return from this window.

The Mountie's patience was rewarded when he saw his partner slowly making his way along the street. It had been raining quite hard for sometime, and the heavy rain cascading from the dark buildings produced a very bleak picture. As Ray passed under the scattered street lights Fraser couldn't help but notice that his partner was making no attempt to either hurry home, or protect himself from the pouring rain. Ray's hands were loosely hung in his jacket pockets, a jacket that wasn't even zipped. The lone figure wore no hat, and he would occasionally tip his head back to allow the rain to hit him full in the face.

Fraser couldn't help but wonder what had motivated his partner to subject himself to the weather like this, for although it was summer the rain off the lake was often rather chilly. Benton could only hope that it wasn't Ray's disappointment with his partner's inconsiderate actions in the alley that had driven him out in this downpour.

Just as a very wet Ray Kowalski reached for his keys his apartment door was pulled open to reveal a smiling Mountie.

"Hello Ray." Fraser smiled reassuringly as Ray drew his hand away from his weapon, and struggled to regain his breath.

"Damn it Fraser...Ya scared me ta death." The Mountie couldn't help but notice that the startled look on his partner's face was quickly replaced by one of embarrassment.

"It's kind of a nasty night to be walking Ray." As he spoke Fraser gently took his partner's arm and pulled him inside the apartment. "You'll be lucky if you don't end up with a cold."

The skinny blond seemed to be at a loss for words and stood just inside the door his head down.

"You should really get out of those wet clothes, Ray." His friend's silence was just at the point of making the Mountie nervous when Ray at last found his voice.

"Ya...ah...I will...I just.....Well I usually take a hot shower....Never got sick from it yet."

"Ah...I see...Well your landlady sent up some soup, so while you take your shower and warm up I will see what I can find to go with it." Fraser turned and made his way to the kitchen. He didn't miss the fact that Ray just stood in his place for several seconds before starting towards the bedroom.

The thin Detective was right at his bedroom door when he turned suddenly and returned to the kitchen.

"Uh...Listen Fraser....I know I screwed up today and I'm sorry." Fraser was stunned at the words that were rushing from his friend's mouth. "I shoulda grabbed some more clips before we went outside...I just...I just wasn't thinkin', I guess...Didn't even have my boot gun with me....and...I'm just...Well I screwed up big time and I'm sorry." As he spoke the blond alternated between staring at the floor and at some point on the wall near the Mountie. It was only on the last two words that he finally made eye contact with his partner.

The Mountie quickly marshaled his surprised expression and slowly circled the counter to stand in front of his friend. Ray had the look of a too often whipped pup that was unsure whether to stand it's ground or run for cover. Fraser carefully laid his hands on Ray's bony shoulders and gave him just enough of a shake to earn eye contact. "Ray you did nothing wrong today, and if you think that is why I am here it would be the furthest thing from the truth."

Kowalski studied the face of his friend closely and Fraser was relieved when he felt some of the tension drain from the thin frame under his hands. As Benton felt the slight shiver that followed, he turned his friend back towards the bedroom and gave him a small shove. "Now, Ray my friend, as you are making a puddle on the floor I would suggest that you continue with your plan to get out of those wet clothes and get in the shower. We can talk when you are finished...I have no desire to listen to your complaints if you end up with a head cold from this evening's exercise."

Ray smiled shyly back over his shoulder and made his way to the bedroom. Benton turned back for the kitchen his mind in a whirl. He had come over to thank his friend for his unselfish act of bravery, but it seemed that all Ray could see of the day was what he had done wrong. And to Ben's way of thinking Ray had really done no wrong at all.

It was almost thirty minutes before Ray emerged from the bathroom. He had slipped into an oversized sweatshirt, a faded pair of jeans with a hole in the knee, and pair of thick warm socks. Fraser was relieved to see that his partner was taking precautions to ward off a chill. It was obvious that Ray had indeed done this enough to establish a safe routine.

Ray made his way to the kitchen and was soon seated before a steaming bowl of soup. Even having been out of the shower this long Fraser could still see the affects of what must have been extremely hot water.

"Have you ever entertained thoughts of coming back as a lobster Ray?"

Ray's puzzled expression melted into one of his crooked little smiles. "Na....Can't swim."

"Your landlady was very thoughtful to have this soup ready...Even if it is from a can."

"Well....She always says dat...And I suppose it started that way, but she always throws a bunch a extra stuff in it...Anyways it always comes out pretty good."

"Indeed."

"Ya...She always tries ta come off as this really tough ole broad, but she ain't nottin' but a marshmallow on da inside." Ray smiled as he absently stirred his soup. "Dat's what counts I guess...Huh?"

"She was standing down in the entrance watching for you when I arrived." Fraser could sense Ray's rising tension, and embarrassment. "I'm glad she was."

The thin blond shot his friend a measuring glance and then returned to his meal. Fraser was content to back off and let his friend enjoy the soup. There were things that needed to be said, but he was willing to wait.

The two friends ate in companionable silence. It wasn't until they had cleared away the dishes and settled in the living room; each with a cup of hot tea, that Fraser felt it was time to broach the issue that had brought him here.

"Ray, there is a reason why I have imposed myself upon you this late at night."

The Mountie couldn't help but notice the pained look that flicked across his partner's face, or the nervous twitch of his suddenly tightened jaw muscles. Although it was true that they had only been working together for a few months, Fraser was starting to learn some sad truths about his complicated friend. It was obvious that Ray was waiting to once again be told that in some way he had screwed-up, or at the very least that he was somehow lacking in what was expected of him. It caused a tightness around Benton's heart to know that somewhere along the line someone had so damaged his partner's self confidence that he was totally oblivious to the many good and shining qualities, that to the Mountie were so clearly evident. Fraser remembered Ray's remorse earlier in the day when he came to realize that he had tried to put the blame for the mall murder on the shoulder's of an innocent man. If that knowledge were added to the fact that today was not the first time that Ray had been willing to offer up his own life to protect his partner, it should have been obvious to anyone the value of the brave and caring man who now sat beside him.

"Relax Ray." As he spoke Fraser carefully reached over and gave his partner a couple of reassuring pats on the knee. "I've come here tonight to thank you."

Ray's surprise was reflected on his thin face. If Fraser hadn't been aware of where the look of wary disbelief came from it would have almost been comical. The Mountie had definitely caught his partner off guard.

"Thank me?...Are you nuts?"

"Not that I am aware of Ray, although there have been times when various people have reacted as if that may actually be the case. I suppose it could be due to the fact that on occasion I do tend to..."

"Fraser!" Benton instantly shut his mouth and turned to look into his partner's intense blue eyes. "Are you trying ta tell me dat you came here tonight ta thank me for almost getting' ya killed??...Geeze Fraser!...You are nuts??" As he spoke Ray shot to his feet and began to nervously pace before his friend. "Hell maybe it's me...Maybe I'm da one dat's nuts here...I go into a fire fight wit just two damn clips...Two clips!....I shoulda grabbed more...I had time...I coulda grabbed a couple on da way out, but no...Not me...I coulda got ya killed Fraser!!....Geeze....Two damn clips."

Fraser quickly gauged Ray's frantic circuit of the small room and timed his move for Ray's quick about face two paces past the TV. When Ray turned he was eye to eye with his partner. Fraser quickly reached out and placed both hands on Ray's thin shoulders.

"Ray my friend. Shut up and set down." The thin blond was so surprised by his partner's sudden move and stern tone that he instantly obeyed, and was settled into the large overstuffed chair before he was even sure what had happened.

"Ray, you did nothing wrong...you"

"Fraser, you are nuts, I..."

The Mountie instantly knelt before his friend and put a warning finger before his face. "Ray, my friend I distinctly remember telling you to shut up." Ray's jaw dropped at his friend's total departure from his normal Mountie politeness. He worked his mouth as if to speak, but on seeing Fraser's determined glare he snapped his mouth shut and tensely waited.

"Ray when we went to the parking lot we were looking for a purse snatcher. A purse-snatcher who had just left a police station. None of us had any idea that we would end up in the middle of a gun battle. The Leftenant didn't even bring his gun, and I'm sure you were just as surprised by what transpired as he. You did nothing wrong." As Ray started to open his mouth Fraser again placed a warning finger in his face. "No!"

Ray couldn't hide the small smile that played across his face. This behavior was so out of character for the Mountie, but Ray also understood that it was probably the only thing making him set still long enough to hear his friend out.

"The reason I came here tonight was not only to thank you, but to apologize as well." Fraser had to drop his embarrassed gaze to the floor at Ray's startled reaction. Benton knew that he had done his partner an injustice, and was saddened by the fact that Ray had no appreciation of what it even was.

"We haven't worked together all that long Ray and today was the second time that you risked your life to protect mine. I not only want to thank you for that, but I also want to apologize for not even acknowledging the sacrifice that you were willing to make on my behalf." Fraser at last raised his eyes to meet those of his partner's and wasn't all that surprised to see the surprise and disbelief reflected there.

"I didn't do nothin' Fraser...The guy's gun was empty...I didn't..."

"Ray. Can you look me in the eye and tell me, that at the time, you honestly believed that the gun was empty?" Fraser watched the play of emotions that worked their way over his partner's face.

"Hell Fraser...I don't know...I mean...He coulda had ammo left...but you seemed so sure...and you're always better at dat stuff den I am...and.."

"No Ray. Answer the question that I asked." The Mountie put on his most stern gaze and focused it towards Ray. "Did you believe that the gun was empty?"

Ray dropped his gaze to the floor and absently ran his hand through his spiky hair. "What does it matter Frase? If I'd a had another clip, none a dat woulda mattered...I woulda.."

"Ray! I must insist that you quit this irrelevant line of discussion and answer the question. Now!"

"Irrelevant line a discussion..." Ray shot his partner a bemused smile that instantly disappeared at the Mountie's continued glare.

"Ray!"

"Okay...Okay...Geeze...I'll answer your question." Even with saying it Ray dropped his head and remained silent just long enough that Benton laid his hand on the blonde's bony knee to prompt him to continue. "Ta be honest buddy?...Ya...I thought he had at least one round left....Just goes ta show what I know..Huh?...I not only didn't grab another clip or two, but I couldn't even a told ya how many times da guy fired...Sorry Frase."

Fraser slowly straightened and then carefully settled himself on the end of the coffee table. This was not going to be easy. It was so ingrained in his partner's thinking to focus only on the negative aspects of his actions, that to make him see anything else was going to be a challenge.

"Ray. Ray. Ray." Fraser reached over and gave the thin blond a slap on the knee. The Mountie was beginning to believe that this might just be a mission impossible, but ever the champion of lost causes he continued. "I want you to listen to what I have to say. You did not do anything wrong. In fact what you did in that alley went above and beyond the call of duty." Fraser shook his head sadly at his partner's continued confusion. "Ray you left cover, exposed yourself to a man whom you believed had a loaded gun, and all to protect me. I want to thank you for that Ray....And I want to apologize that it has taken me this long to get around to doing it." Fraser dropped his gaze in embarrassment. "I'm afraid that in the confusion...and in my own shameful self absorption I overlooked my responsibility in acknowledging the risk that you were willing to take. Thank you Ray."

Fraser could sense his partner's discomfort. This was not at all what Ray had expected and the Mountie knew it. The two men remained silent for what felt to the Mountie like a very long time. At last he raised his gaze to the face of his friend. The blue eyes that met his were filled with confusion, but also much to Fraser's delight, a certain wary hopefulness.

"Ya mean dat buddy?"

"I don't lie Ray. What you did was a brave and selfless act for which a mere 'thank-you' seems wholly inappropriate." Fraser couldn't help but brighten as he watched Ray's confused wariness melt into a small uncertain smile.

Maybe this wasn't a lost cause. Maybe he could get it through to his friend that he was a valuable person, a person that even a certain Mountie could trust with his life, and more. Maybe someday he could make Ray understand just how important his friendship was to him. It was going to be an ongoing process and it didn't appear that it was going to be easy, but he had suddenly made up his mind that it was going to be done.

THE END

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