The day was half over with, having been filled with good times and great food. Ben noticed, however, Ray's reserved behavior. He decided to confront his lover on his somber attitude before they left the Vecchio household. When he went looking for the Detective, he found him, surprisingly, in the basement going through old family albums and momentos.
"Ray?" he inquired while descending the steps. "Are you down here?"
"Yeah, Benny. I'm over here."
When Ben approached, he could see Ray observing various medals distributed during wartime for outstanding service.
"They were my father's." Ray said before he could ask. "He got them in the Korean war."
He surveyed them a while longer, then tossed them all back in the box at his feet and shoved them away. Ben still said nothing. He waited, as he always did, for Ray to express what he felt.
"We're going to put flowers on his grave today, even though he didn't die in battle."
There was a pause so intense, Fraser simply *had* to inquire about Ray's sad mood.
"Is that why you're so quiet today?"
"Yes, it is." Ray answered, his voice near tears. "He disowned Mark. Pop found out he was gay. Didn't matter he'd gone into the service. Point was he went against what Pop wanted."
Ben came closer, his own emotions unstable.
"Mark is your brother?"
"*Was*. He...killed himself. He couldn't live with himself after Pop rejected him and he was throw out of the army."
Ben couldn't help it. He came forward and enveloped his lover in his arms.
"Oh, God, Ray. I am so sorry. I am so sorry."
Ray wrapped his arms around his lover tightly while trying not to cry and failing miserably.
"All he ever wanted to do was serve his country! He talked about going into the army all the time. They discharged him once they found out what he was. He died inside after that. Now I find out I'm like him and I can't even tell him that!" Ray sobbed as he held him close. "I miss him, Benny! I miss him..."
Ben could not hold back the tears he felt for his lovers loss.
"I know, Ray. I'm here. I here..."
Ray straightened in the protective stance Benny created, his determination more than obvious.
"I want to tell Ma, Benny. About us. I'm tired of living in secret with you."
"It's up to you, Ray. You know that."
"No..." Ray said, his grip growing tighter around the one he loved most. "I know she won't reject us. It's just the thought of what Pop did to Mark that kept me from telling her before this. It broke her heart to see Mark die like that. I won't let that happen to her again."
Ben could only say what he felt deep inside. "I love you, Ray. I always will."
Two graves were visited that day. One for Carmine Vecchio and one for Mark, Ray's brother. They were accompanied by Ray's mother, who, for years, had secretly placed flowers on the grave of her other son without the knowledge of any other family member. Ray had not properly acknowledged the death of his older brother until he became lovers with Benny. He vowed he'd never let another day, Memorial Day included, pass without remembering...
L.A.K.
Dedicated to Barry Winchell, the young gay soldier who was beaten to death in his sleep by a fellow soldier who was homophobic.