"She asked you what?"

        "To marry her."

         "Marry her?"

         "Do I gotta write it down for you, Fraser? She, Suzanne Chapin, asked me, Ray Vecchio, to marry her. Spend the rest of my life with her, give her babies, get old with her, be buried with her, the whole deal. Any part of that you don't get?"

         "I don't believe so, thank you kindly. And you said?"

         "I needed more time."

         "Ah. Didn't you say she asked you over a week ago? How much more time do you need?"

         "Another couple days, maybe. I dunno, Benny. Weeks, decades... lifetimes."

         "You do want to accept her proposal, don't you?"

         "I asked her to give me 'til the end of the week. Said I'd go round her place and tell her. Yes or no, I gotta do it face to face."

         "I'm sure she will appreciate that, Ray."

         "Yeah. Just so long as she don't get all emotional, y'know? I hate when that happens."

         "Is it likely to? She doesn't strike me as the overly emotional type."

         "It's the quiet ones you gotta watch, Benny."

         "I take your point."

         "Yeah... look, Fraser, I didn't mean it like that."

         "There's no need to apologise, Ray. In fact, experience has taught me that often those who are both quiet and beautiful are the ones who need watching most closely."

         "You get too close an' they stick the knife in, don't they, Benny?"

         "Only once, Ray."

         "Thank God."

         "Suzanne's not the vengeful type. Not the quiet type either, might I add. However, she is beautiful."

         "Yeah, she is. Beautiful, smart, gorgeous... rich."

         "She's rich?"

         "I dunno. It just seemed to follow..."

         "Oh. Oh, I see. I understand. You were referring to a stereotype."

         "Yes, Fraser."

         "She could be exactly what you need, Ray."

         "For what, Fraser?"

         "To make you happy, Ray."

         "Oh. Yeah, I guess I could be happy with someone beautiful, smart, gorgeous..."

         "And rich."

         "Rich, yeah, and with a body to die for..."

         "That would make you happy, Ray?"

         "I think it would, Benny. I really think it would."

         "She's called three times this morning, Ray."

         "Yeah, I know."

         "I've given her all your excuses."

         "Which excuses?"

         "The excuses you wrote down for me to give her when she called, Ray."

         "Oh yeah, yeah... all of 'em?"

         "Every last one."

         "Was she convinced?"

         "You'll need to ask Suzanne that, Ray."

         "Fraser..."

         "Does she have a hearing problem?"

         "No... why?"

         "Then she had the good grace not to comment on your rather hackneyed phraseology."

         "Gimme that. Jeez! You wanna job done, you gotta do it yourself."

         "A useful maxim, Ray. Especially when you're dealing with a marriage proposal from such a beautiful, smart..."

         "Shut up, Fraser. Just shut up."

         "She's a bad cook, Fraser."

         "Your mother will be only too delighted to teach her, Ray."

         "She's obsessive."

         "In what way?"

         "She cleans up everything... like, the second a speck of dirt lands on it."

         "Obsessive-compulsive behaviour is learned, Ray. It can be unlearned."

         "An' then she leaves her clothes all over the floor."

         "Pick them up for her."

         "She whines."

         "So do you, Ray."

         "Guess I asked for that."

         "Have you given her an answer yet?"

         "No."

         "When will you?"

         "Today."

         "You're having doubts?"

         "Some. Nothin' serious. Just last minute, y'know?"

         "No, Ray."

         "No. Guess not. I'm sorry, Fraser. You've been a real help."

         "Do you mean that or are you being sarcastic?"

         "I mean it."

         "Then you're welcome, Ray."

         "Thanks, Benny."

         "Does this mean your answer is yes?"

         "Yeah. I guess it does."

         "Everyone seems happy for you, Ray."

         "Everyone?"

         "Everyone except you, Ray."

         "I'm happy, Fraser! What makes you think I'm not happy?"

         "Ray, if you say you're happy, then I believe you."

         "Well, then. I'm happy, a'right? Now just drop it."

         "All right, Ray."

         "What is it?"

         "I just wanted to tell you that if you're happy, then I'm happy for you. That's all, Ray."

         "Oh. Well, thanks, Benny. That means a lot to me."

         "You did what?"

         "I turned her down. It's over. The whole deal's off."

         "So you're definitely not going to marry her?"

         "No."

         "Why not, Ray?"

         "Half the precinct tellin' me how great it is to be married is why not. The other half tellin' me it's gonna be hell is why not. What I'm gonna tell Ma is why not. I'd be stupid not to 'cos she's got real money is why not. We'll be livin' offa her money is why not. She'll get all bent outta shape when Ma starts takin' over is why not. Her an' Ma are gonna be real close friends is why not. It's the rest of my life is why not, or it's six miserable weeks is why not. They already started a book on how soon we split up, Fraser! An' the sons of bitches got the nerve to ask me why I ain't happy!"

         "I will admit that to tell you they suspect the marriage won't last is not..."

         "Not won't, Fraser. Would not have. Would. Not. Have."

         "How did Suzanne react?"

         "Said she kinda knew it was comin'. Said she'd knew I got cold feet, and there was no guarantee when the big day arrived that I wouldn't just not turn up."

         "You wouldn't turn up?"

         "Yeah, whatever, it's all the same. She said it was the sorta thing she figured on me doin'."

         "That seems a little unfair, Ray."

         "Unfair is exactly what it is, Fraser."

         "But you do see why she might think that. After all, you've been married before."

         "Yeah yeah yeah. So, she got a point. Said she'd prefer standin' in the church and tellin' everyone it'd been called off than go through a divorce. Said her parent's divorce was pretty ugly."

         "Ray, I feel because I was involved – albeit peripherally and purely in a consultative capacity – that it is incumbent on me to ask you if you had, at any point, considered that possibility."

         "Okay, I got all that up to 'involved' and then it was like just so much static."

         "I'm sorry, Ray. What I meant was had you considered the possibility that you might be able to go through the entire wedding preparations, but not the ceremony? You asked me to play Devil's Advocate, Ray, but none of the possibilities you suggested was that of you not wanting to marry her in the first place."

         "So tell me what I shoulda asked you, Fraser."

         "Why?"

         "Why not? Everyone else seems to want to give me their opinion."

         "On the decision you made to marry her, or the one you made to not marry her?"

         "You, me and her are the only ones who know the deal's off. I wanna keep it that way as long as I can."

         "I understand, Ray. It's only natural to want to prepare for the questions everyone is doubtless going to ask."

         "Which are? Why is everyone gonna ask?"

         "People are curious, Ray."

         "Did you tell her I got cold feet?"

         "Absolutely not, Ray. Informing one's prospective spouse that they are about to become a former prospective spouse is the responsibility of the other party involved."

         "Fraser..."

         "Only you could turn her down, Ray. For anyone else to interfere is unforgivable."

         "If I find out who did..."

         "What difference would it make, Ray? The decision was yours to make and you made it."

         "Yeah."

         "Ray, it's only natural to have doubts after making such a serious decision."

         "I guess. And hey, maybe she knew it all along. Maybe no one had to tell her anything."

         "Another possibility we didn't consider."

         "Yeah. It was like that with Ange. I couldn't see any reason for not marrying her 'cos I refused to look."

         "You wouldn't be the first to overlook something that was right under your nose."

         "That's gotta mean I overlook a whole lot, then."

         "How so?"

         "I mean... this nose? Yeah?"

         "I've never really considered your nose separately from your face, Ray."

         "Kinda difficult not to, Fraser."

         "Ray, I do think you're being very hard on yourself."

         "It was deliberate."

         "I don't understand, Ray. Why choose to be deliberately hard on yourself?"

         "No, no. Not that. It was the other thing. The overlooking what was under my nose thing."

         "What about it, Ray?"

         "I did it deliberately. I deliberately ignored the one reason there was against me marryin' Suzanne."

         "Which is? Sorry, which was?"

         "An' you spent the evenin' thinkin' of a whole bunch more which didn't even matter."

         "That's not important now."

         "When she asked me to marry her, Benny, I already knew I couldn't."

         "You led her on? You made her think you'd marry her when you had no intention of doing so?"

         "Colour me chicken, Fraser."

         "Excuse me?"

         "Yeah, I led her on. Yeah, I made her think it would happen when I knew it wouldn't. I knew it wasn't gonna happen the moment I told you it was."

         "You've lost me, Ray."

         "No, Benny. That's just it; I haven't. I never even thought of the one possibility that really mattered. I just hadda figure it out for myself."

         "Ray... what are you talking about?"

         "The possibility that I loved you more than I thought I loved her."

         "Ray, are you awake?"

         "No."

         "Oh. Sorry."

         "Benny..."

         "Of course, Ray. I was thinking..."

         "You got energy left to think?"

         "When did you finally consider this particular possibility, Ray?"

         "Right about the time Suzanne proposed."

         "That was... somewhat unfortunate, Ray."

         "The worst timing ever of any thought I ever had. You?"

         "When did I consider this? When everyone was congratulating you, telling you how happy you should be, and you looked more unhappy than I've ever seen you. I sensed that you might have admitted it if we'd been somewhere more private. I think it was at that moment. Of course, there was no guarantee that the attraction was mutual, but my instincts have never failed me. Well, except on that one occasion."

         "Y'know, you coulda got your revenge if I'd said yes to Suzanne."

         "How? Stand up and say 'it should've been me'?"

         "You'da done that?"

         "Absolutely."

         "I figured maybe you'd wanna shoot me in the back as I went up the aisle."

         "Well, that is one possibility I hadn't considered, Ray. Of course, once you were dead I would have to turn the gun on myself, guaranteeing us both immediate passage to the burning fires of hell."

         "Yeah. Better ways to die, Benny."

         "Like this, perhaps?"

         "Worth considerin', Benny. Definitely worth considerin'."

         "Ray...?"

         "I ain't gonna let you if you're gonna talk, Fraser."

         "Could you possibly keep still?"

         "If you're gonna do that again, Benny, I guarantee it."