m/m. There's sex, but from a non-traditional viewpoint.

The characters don't belong to me, I'm just letting them out for a little quality time with the folks who love 'em. I'll put 'em back when I'm done. The other characters are from my twisted little mind and anyone who wants to use 'em in the future is welcome to do so.

I think Desi deserves some credit for the following scenario. A few weeks ago she had a wrestling match with AOL, which kept insisting her drabble chapter hadn't been posted when in fact it had--a total of four times.

She sent a message to the list apologizing for "spamming" to which I replied: "Bad AOL! Naughty! Naughty! Making us suffer through three 'Instant Replays' of Ray and Benny! We didn't suffer too much!"

She replied "Glad to hear I didn't cause you to suffer. I liked the 'Instant Replay' comment.;-)

And this led to a first draft of the following silliness. If you like it, send virtual cops and mounties to both of us. If you don't, blame me and keep the cops and mounties for yourselves.

Thanks to Jane, Dina, Desi, Heather, Laura, Elaine, Angelique and Susan for Beta Reading. Thanks to Desi for supplying a couple of very appropriate last names! Special thanks to Alanna, who hasn't seen this--yet! If she hadn't drabbled on the FK erotica list, I would never have discovered the DS erotica list!

The Big Game

"Welcome to this week's big game on TPTB network. It's a beautiful day here in downtown Chicago and we'd like to welcome you to today's pregame festivities. I'm Dick Wadsworth and I'll be doing the play-by-play."

"I'm Rod Bodman and I'll be providing your color commentary. We have a great match today, don't we Dick?"

"We sure do Rod! Our favorite mountie Benton Fraser will enjoy the home field advantage today, although Ray Vecchio is no stranger to this venue."

"Very true Dick! Vecchio's played in this setting a number of times and probably knows it as well as OFM. It's a classic location, and while some fans have complained about the starkness of the setting and sparseness of furnishings, you can't deny we've seen some great action inside these four walls."

"You're telling me, Rod! Like Wrigley Field, Chicago's sentimental favorite baseball stadium, Fraser's place is steeped in tradition. Ya just can't get this kinda atmosphere from the modern settings."

"We've got just a few minutes before the opening play, can you give our audience a little background on the players, Rod?"

"My pleasure, Dick! Detective Raymond Vecchio's our hometown boy and is employed as one of Chicago's finest. He's into classic cars, and in fact his 1971 Buick Riviera has been the site of several exciting mobile encounters. He's known affectionately by the hometown fans as 'Our Favorite Cop' or 'OFC.'

Benton Fraser hails from Canada, our neighbor-to-the-north. A member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, he's currently assigned to the Canadian Embassy right here in Chicago. The Chicago fans have welcomed him with open arms; he's known around his tenement as 'The Mountie.'"

"Dick, we gotta pause for a station break! We'll be back for the opening play after these messages."

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"Today's game is brought to you by Otter Beer, in the original long necked bottle! When you want a refreshing brew with a bite, you otter get a longneck!"

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"Welcome back folks! OFM has just come home with a bag full of goodies to get us started! What do you suppose he's up to Dick?"

"OFM likes to be prepared, but he's also got a spontaneous side. He usually has dinner, dessert and candles to provide atmosphere, but the fans out there know he's liable to pull any number of surprises out of that plain, brown grocery bag.

He seems to be running a little late tonight, Rod. He's gonna hafta hustle if he wants to finish the setup before OFC arrives. OK, there he goes, looks like he's gonna do a quick change here. The sweater comesoff and let's see, yep, he *folds* it before it hits the laundry hamper. He steps to the closet, peruses the contents and goes for the classic denim shirt."

"Great choice, Dick! Simple, stylish and the blue sets off his eyes so well!"

"And there's the knock, folks! Looks like the first play of the game is about to begin! Vecchio's got an unusual knock, doesn't he Rod?"

"I think 'personalized' is a better term Dick! Once you've heard it, there's no doubt about whozat the door and what's goin' down."

"Ok, Rod, the door's open and OFC steps in--looks like he's carrying his ever-present little black bag and a portable music system."

"Yep and judging from the size of that boom box we're in for a musical interlude at some point during the game. Looks to me like it's got shuffle, repeat and music search in CD mode, a 3 band rotary equalizer and detachable bass reflex speaker . . ."

"Oh my Rod! OFC just whipped out a pretty impressive remote control! Lessee how Fraser responds . . . yep he takes a taste! Ya know he's teasin' the cop with those long, slow licks! Just look at the smirk on those lips!

"Hey, those lips look great no matter what Dick! The Mountie swears by an old Inuit lip balm he makes himself. I'm sure his many fans can confirm they're never chapped, cracked or flaky."

"Looks like OFC is confirming that right now Rod! Oh didja see that Rod! Looks like the Mountie slipped him the tongue!"

"I gotta disagree Dick, I think OFC was the first to introduce tongue into this particular encounter!"

"Well Rod let's go to the tape for an instant replay."

"Hmmmmmm, looks like we're both right! It's simultaneous tonguing!"

"Oh my Rod! Didja see OFM go for Vecchio's jacket! Zipper down and jacket off all in one move!"

"Dick, you gotta love this guy's style! For a Canadian he's got some of the smoothest moves! It's no wonder he holds the all-time partner-stripping record for both summer and winter seasons!"

"Whoa! Fraser lets the jacket drop to the floor! Unusual move on his part Rod, usually he hangs up Vecchio's jacket right away."

"You're right Dick, and Vecchio definitely likes to take his time too--the whole jacket hanging tradition, polite chitchat, dinner and dessert, the 'accidental' bumps and touches are just part of building the anticipation and Dick, nobody does it better than these guys!"

"Well it looks like they have a different game plan tonight Rod, it's only a few minutes into the game and we've had some serious tonsil hockey! OFC's discarded the boom box and the little black bag he came in with and he's wrapped both arms around the Mountie in a surprise move--in fact it looks like Fraser's about to lose his balance! The fans know they're in for something different tonight, it's not often anyone catches OFM off-guard.

Looks like Fraser's gonna recover, though, and he's gonna play along with Vecchio's aggressive mood--one hand goes around the shoulders and the other hand slides down to caress Vecchio's ass!"

"Yah know Dick, that's another classic move that draws attention to one of OFC's best assets--his many fans have nicknamed him "The Peach" in reference to just that! It's got great shape, tone and colour!"

"Awwwww! They've broken the kiss, Rod, and are standing, foreheads pressed together! Some might call this sentimental tripe, but the smiles on their faces say it all! They love what they do, and they never get bored! That's exactly why the fans love these encounters!

And there goes Vecchio's right hand to the top button of that great lookin' blue-denim shirt! Looks like he's decided to take charge tonight! The top button's open and OFC plants a big wet one right there! And he's goin' for the next button!"

"Whoa Dick, you might be right about the wet part, but I don't think it's a kiss, let's see if we can get a closer picture . . . yep, just as I suspected! Vecchio's lickin' his way down that silky-smooth chest!"

"He pauses for a nipple nip, Rod! And look at the Mountie's face! He's lovin' it! He's got both hands behind Vecchio's head, giving that physical feedback and encouragement! Oh! And Vecchio's got the shirt tail out and all the buttons open! A quick taste of the Mountie's navel and he slides up, pulling Fraser's arms to his sides!"

"Ya know Dick, we didn't see much tastin' before OFM joined the league. Some players don't always approve of his tastin' habits, and in fact Vecchio was one of the most vocal dissenters on this particular move. Looks like he's adapted the move to his own style, though, and from the Mountie's heavy breathing, he appreciates that style!"

"And OFC moves in for another long, slow, deep kiss as he slides the shirt off. Benny's eyes are closed and, ohmygosh, is he swaying Rod? I think he is! Good thing Vecchio's got that tight grip around his waist."

"Could be the heat of the moment, Dick, could also be low blood sugar! These guys changed the normal game plan and skipped dinner! I'm guessin' neither one has eaten since noon, although OFC is probably highly caffeinated!"

"Looks like Vecchio's tuned into the Mountie's weak-kneed status Rod! Let's see what he does about it . . . whoa! There's a surprise move! He's picked up Fraser in a fireman's carry and is movin' towards the bed!"

"And look at the smile on Fraser's face, Dick! It's on every feature! Those full lips, the even white teeth, the depths of those fantastic blue eyes! We can't quite see Vecchio's face, but I'm bettin' those deep green eyes are just as happy!"

"And Vecchio drops the Mountie on the bed! Fraser goes limp and lays back, hands above his head. Awww, this is just great Rod! They've both got a case of the giggles!"

"I'm guessin' they're having a simultaneous flashback, Dick! Remember these boys survived a wilderness plane crash together; Fraser suffered temporary blindness and paralysis and Vecchio had to carry him out to meet their rescuers!"

"Vecchio's pulled off the Mountie's Eastland boots and socks and is movin' towards the waistband of those form-fittin' jeans! And the Mountie's actually twitchin' from anticipation!"

"Could be anticipation, but let's go to the tape real quick Dick, yeah, see that there on the instant replay?"

"Ah, the quick tickle to the bottom of the foot! Look's like the cop's in an extra-playful mood tonight! Good eye, Rod, good eye! Vecchio's on the bed and straddling Fraser's hips. He's teasin' him! His right hand is fiddlin' with the top button--dontcha just love the classic button fly jeans?--as his left hand slides between Fraser's legs . . . and the first button's open!"

"He's takin' it slow Dick, but you gotta know the Mountie's ready for action. Notice Vecchio has to really work as he goes for the next button--there's just not much room between jeans and skin! That little flash of red tells the fans that the Mountie's gone for the long johns today!"

"Vecchio opens the last button and the left hand comes up to help ease those jeans off. OFM raises his hips--helpful as always! Ya gotta love those Canadians! Always so polite! The jeans are coming off and . . . Holy Smoke Rod! Looks like the Mountie anticipated OFC's playful mood! That flash of red wasn't long johns!"

"No indeed, Dick! There's not enough material there to make long johns for a GI Joe doll! And I believe, those are, no wait, guys, can we get the camera in a little closer? WHOA! My hunch was correct! It's red silk and sequins!"

"This is a big surprise in terms of uniforming, Rod! But if anyone can pull off this look it's definitely OFM! That's gotta be the tightest thong I've ever seen! It's not offering anywhere near adequate coverage! Wait! What's that embroidered on the waistband?"

"Let's put the tape in slo-mo, Dick and see if we can get a look . . . ok, here it comes, it says . . . 'Mountie Holster!'"

"Well Vecchio's not gonna keep the Mountie holstered for very long Rod! He's got those jeans on the floor . . . he's goin' for the velcro tab on the side. . . he eases it open . . . Oh my Rod! Get a load of that equipment!"

"It's one of the most impressive in the league, Dick! In fact Vecchio's the only one who can compare to the Mountie! OFC's the one who gave Fraser the nickname 'Canadian Bacon.'"

"Well Vecchio's in the mood for a big breakfast Rod! He's got a mouthful now and is strokin' for all he's worth! Benny's got one hand on Ray's head and the other's just holdin' onto the bed for dear life!"

"The fans have gotta be lovin' this Dick! We know Benny is! His head's back, eyes closed, and there's a very definite sheen of perspiration on his chest--and listen to those moans! Didja know Fraser has perfect pitch, Dick?"

"I wasn't aware of that Rod. He sounds great--I know those moans are offering audible encouragement to the cop! Look at Vecchio's hands, they're following a definite pattern! Both start inside Fraser's thighs, move up the hips, over the chest and right to the nipples for a quick tweak! Oh! That gets a gasp from the Mountie! It's kinda hard to tell, but I'll bet The Peach is smirking as he works!

Vecchio's changed tactics now, Rod! His right moves to grasp the shaft as his left hand slides under Fraser--there's no way to tell from this angle, but I'm guessing from the Mountie's groans there's a coupla fingers inside him!"

"No doubt about it Dick! The guys are stickin' to many of the traditional, favorite moves tonight, it's the change of order and surprise uniforming that's really making this game exciting!"

"Wuh-oh! Vecchio's deep throating the Mountie! Fraser's got his hips in motion--their movements are in perfect synchronization!"

"Dick, this perfect timing is just another example of long, industrious workouts on the part of both players. That dedication to training is what makes this kind of timing possible! Some fans might think too much familiarity takes the edge off the excitement but I gotta disagree! Look how well they know each other's bodies! They catch the subtle signals and this allows them to draw out the moment!"

"Listen to that Rod! Fraser's actually keening--long time fans know he's about to climax and there's no slowing him down! He's got both hands on Vecchio's head, and Vecchio's moved his hands to Fraser's hips, trying to maintain control of the action!

And there's the climax! Fraser has that unusual trick--his enjoyment is audible until the very last second, but at the very moment of release he takes a deep breath . . ."

"It's a silent scream, Dick! He once mentioned he likes to hear his partner's response at this crucial moment and so makes an extra effort not make any noise."

"Interesting Rod! Vecchio's swallowed everything Fraser's offered and has moved up to lay on top of him. This is always a sweet moment for the fans as well as the players. Vecchio plants a soft kiss on the Mountie's lips as Fraser's eyes flutter open. And there's those sweet, post coital smiles! Looks like they're gonna take a little break before the Mountie takes care of Ray."

"And we're gonna take a little break too folks! Stay tuned for our half-time activities! We'll be back for those after these messages!"

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"Welcome back folks! We'd like to remind you that tonight's game is being sponsored by Otter Beer, in the original long necked bottle! When you want a refreshing brew with a bite, you otter get a longneck!"

"I know it's my personal favorite Dick! The Big Game is also brought to you by Dief's Donut's-- 'The original donut-hole specialists in Chicago! We've got the best holes in the Windy City.' No argument from me on that one!"

"No doubt about it Rod, they're great holes! And also sponsoring tonight's activities: Yukon button-fly, good lookin', form fittin' jeans--guys with great assets shouldn't hide 'em in baggy denims! They're Fraser's favorite jeans, right Rod?"

"Sure are, Dick! Although he's not spendin' much time in them tonight!"

"No indeed Rod! For those of you just joining us, let's recap some of those first half highlights. You may notice the guys are just finishin' up dinner during our half time break and are probably wonderin' 'hey, I know these guys are a coupla chow hounds, but usually the table's cleared and the dishes are done by now.' Well folks, the guys pulled a few surprise moves tonight, isn't that right Rod?"

"Sure is Dick! We gotta comment on tonight's uniforming! Vecchio's still wearing that soft, charcoal grey, banded collar shirt and those black, double pleated pants. Simple, classic and good lookin'!"

"Um, the clothes or Vecchio, Rod?"

"Aw, come on Dick! The clothes! But you're right--classic and good lookin' also describes OFC to a tee! On the other hand, folks just tuning in are probably wondering about OFM's attire! I'm bettin' that's the smallest, tightest, red-silk-sequined thong on the planet!"

"I'm sure you're right, Rod. Fraser's equipment is barely contained, even though it's restin' up for the next encounter."

"No kidding, Dick! Ya know, this is a prime example of the power of Velcro!"

"Can you elaborate on that statement Rod?"

"My pleasure Dick. Fraser's thong features velcro tabs on the side, for quick-release action."

"We saw a fine example of that quick-release not long before the break, didn't we Rod?"

"Indeed we did Dick! Velcro's amazing stuff! It can be easily released with one hand, but it's also been used by the space program in the suits worn by the Shuttle astronauts. It's definitely proving its worth here! Fraser's still covered for the time being!"

"Well folks, we're about to get started again! The guys are clearing the table and it looks like Fraser's getting ready to do the dishes. Let's get back to the action after this brief word from one of our sponsors!"

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"Today's game is brought to you by Yukon button-fly, good lookin', form fittin' jeans. Leave the baggies to the fashion slaves! When you're confident and self-assured, don't be afraid to display your assets in Yukon button-fly jeans!"

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"Welcome back to the second half! Fraser's been on the receiving end of most of tonight's action, but I'm confident he's got something special planned for Vecchio, right Rod?"

"Right Dick! I'm guessin' it involves that plain, brown bag on the counter. OFM pulled a variety of noshes and nibbles from the bag--everything from soup to nuts to dessert--but he wouldn't let Vecchio sneak a single peak at the rest of the contents. It'll be interesting to see what appears as the evening progresses!"

"Speaking of progress, Rod, the Mountie's about done with those dishes."

"He's an efficient worker, no doubt about it Dick! Ya know, it's not every guy who's comfortable doin' dishes by hand while wearing a thong. And I know Vecchio can confirm that! He's made himself comfy, chair tipped back and feet up on the table. That sly smirk tells the fans he's been payin' real close attention to OFM's dish-washing technique!"

"Whoa, here's the first move of the second half folks! Fraser's dried the last plate, emptied the sink and just washed his hands. Vecchio stands and moves to the sink . . . Didja see Vecchio snag the towel as Fraser reached for it? He reaches for the Mountie's left hand and slowly wipes each finger dry. He's dropped the left and picks up the right, drying each finger and . . . there he goes folks! A long, slow suck on Fraser's right pinky! Does this guy know foreplay or what?!"

"Foreplay with a capital 'F' Dick! He slipped a CD into that boom box during dinner and the guys have been relaxing to a nice mixture of classic big-band tunes, Sinatra standards, Wilson Pickett's hits and even a little Aretha Franklin! An eclectic mix of tunes, but hey, they seem to be enjoying themselves! And folks, if you're wonderin' where Vecchio obtained that CD, check out TPTB Personalized Music webpage at http/tunes.mine.html. They create customized CDs for every occasion! And here comes a great, romantic tune--Glenn Miller's 'Moonlight Serenade'."

"Aw, I think the guys have been waitin' for this Rod! Look how they've moved right into each other's arms! Vecchio's got both hands around Fraser's waist and OFM's put his arms around the cop's shoulders as they dance cheek to cheek."

"Wow! Better make that lip to lip, Dick! They're back to some serious, simultaneous tonguing!"

"There seems to be a little competition going on here, Rod! They've both got their eyes open and . . . awww, there's the giggle-fest again! This is just so gosh-darned cute and romantic! I don't care what the critics say about sap! When ya watch these guys enjoy themselves to the point of laughter it just makes you warm all over!"

"And they are enjoying each other! Ray's got Benny backed up against the kitchen counter and is goin' for a neck nuzzle. The Mountie's more than happy to assist--his head's tipped to the side and his eyes are closed!"

"He's not just playing receiver, either, Rod! Those strong hands are just runnin' up and down Vecchio's back for all they're worth! I can't quite see what Vecchio's hands are doin'; maybe we can get a shot with the ceiling cam . . .? Oh my folks! OFC's bein' awful sneaky! His lips are nuzzlin' that luscious neck and his hands are goin' for that brown, paper bag! He's dyin' to know what's in there!"

"Well, Dick, Fraser's been so secretive that we're all curious and . . ."

"Wuh oh! Fraser's caught on to Vecchio's tactics! He locks both arms behind Vecchio, and at the same time pushes away from the counter. He lifts OFC and with a quick twist, pulls him to the floor! Look at the surprise on Vecchio's face, Rod!"

"Let's see that again in slo-mo Dick! Wow! Surprise is definitely the right word! Vecchio's pretty sneaky, but Fraser's the one guy in the league who knows a decoy when he sees, er, feels one!"

"And it looks like the guys are giving us a little wrestlemania action, folks! Vecchio's trying to break away but Fraser's got him pinned face-down at the hips and shoulders. Think he'll be able to break the Mountie's hold, Rod?"

"It's hard to say, Dick. They're about evenly matched in height but OFM definitely has the weight advantage! It doesn't look like OFCs actually trying to get away so much as get a feel--Fraser's got a lotta skin showin' tonight!"

"And the Mountie flips Vecchio on to his back! Caught him by surprise for the second time in less than a minute! That doesn't happen too often folks! And he doesn't have a second to catch his breath before Fraser's lips are all over his! And Vecchio manages to free his hands, going directly to caress Fraser's ass! I'd have to say Fraser appreciates that stimulation! His right hand moves to rub Ray's head while his left slides right on down to the cop's sinewy thigh! "

"Ya know, Dick, there was quite a 'buzz' in the league when Vecchio showed up this season with that buzz cut! Some of the players thought he was a little too worried about his looks--he does have that receding hairline--but I gotta disagree. OFC's a helluvan attractive partner no matter how he wears his hair! OFM was enthusiastic about the new look from the start! In a post-game interview after the season opener, he said he enjoyed the sensation and was lookin' forward to exploring the 'frictional' possibilities!"

"Speaking of exploring Rod, looks like the guys are goin' for a little change of venue! This time it's Fraser who's got Vecchio slung over his shoulder and he's headin' for the bed . . . wait, make that the closet. This could be interesting folks!"

"You're absolutely right Dick! Fraser's working one-handed, and in a very tight thong! He's pulled that infamous bedroll off the closet shelf--looks like he's going for action on the floor!"

"Indeed it does Rod! He kicks the closet door shut, drops the bed roll, squats . . . Oh Mama! I'm wonderin' if that thong's gonna hold, Rod! Even Velcro has it's breaking point! The Mountie's slipped the knot, rises and kicks the bedroll open. Once again, those long hours of dedicated practice come into play!"

"And remember Dick, he's got all 165 pounds of OFC slung over his shoulder, and Vecchio's doin' his best to distract him! He's grabbin' at the thong and goin' for a few quick tickles! Boy-oh-boy! Fraser's self-discipline really shows here! He maintains his grip on OFC, despite the distractions!"

"AND THE VELCRO IS RELEASED, ROD!"

"The thong has landed, Dick! And OFM lays Vecchio right on top of it! Look at those grins, folks! I gotta feelin' we're about to see some serious action!"

"Fraser's doin' a little repeat of our first-half action! He's got Vecchio on his back and he's straddling the cop's hips! Wow! That grin is positively evil Rod!"

"Sure is, Dick! But the audience knows that patented "evil" grin of Fraser's is actually a good thing! You know his motto: When I'm good, I'm very, very good, and when I'm bad, I'm even better! And he's been a bad boy tonight Dick! The surprise uniform, the "mystery" bag--OFM's always had a playful side but it's off the scale tonight!"

"Look at Vecchio's face Rod! He's excited and apprehensive at the same time, as Fraser goes for the first button on the shirt! Whoa! The shirt is open and off in 4.1 seconds! Is that a new record?"

"Not quite, the league record is is 3.95 Dick! Could be the change of order tonight, that late dinner may have slowed them just a little, but I don't think OFM cares about any record at the moment!"

"Probably not Rod! And the Mountie's pulled off the shoes and socks and is just about to open the belt buckle . . .Oh my! He opens and zips it outta the loops with one quick jerk! Talk about friction! Look at Vecchio's face--hurts so good! The button's open, zipper's down and the pants and underwear are off in one quick move! Man oh man! It's obvious Vecchio's ready for action! It really is a toss up as to whose equipment is more impressive, Rod!"

"That's what's nice about this particular match-up, Dick! The two best-equipped guys in the league paired up in a game situation--it's a win-win situation! Oh, hey! There's that obvious attention to physical comfort! Fraser's grabbed the pillow from the bed! He tucks it behind Ray's head, pausin' for a long, deep kiss . . ."

"And Vecchio's arms are around Fraser, pulling him down for a return kiss! This is just great! OFM's stretched out along OFC's lean, sinewy body. He slips his left leg between Vecchio's legs--obviously looking to take some of the weight off the cop. Fraser's rockin' back and forth now as those intense kisses continue! His left hand is caressing Vecchio's hip and his right creeps up to that buzz cut--he's rubbin' for all he's worth, Rod!"

"Kinda reminds me of a good luck ritual, Dick! Course with these guys, any kinda rubbin' is bound to bring good results!"

"How right you are Rod! Vecchio's got his hands all over Fraser's ass again! Looks like they're back to where they were in the kitchen a few minutes ago, and the action is pickin' up! Fraser breaks the lip-lock and moves to kiss Vecchio's eyes, cheeks, and awww, one right in the middle of the forehead! It gets a giggle outta OFC!"

The Mountie's not stoppin'! He's kissing his way down Vecchio's neck and makes a beeline for the right nipple! And now the left, and back to the right for one more kiss . . . Oh! There's a nip! Shades of the first half, folks! OFC doesn't seem to mind being on the receiving end, though!"

"Indeed not, Dick! His eyes are closed and he's grinnin' like the cat that got the cream!"

"Fraser pauses to take a quick lick in the center of Vecchio's chest . . . and he follows that trail of soft, curly hair due south! He's alternating kisses and licks--and judging from his grin, he likes what he's tastin'! He's paused and it's torturing Vecchio--he's opened his eyes, ya know he's gotta be thinking 'why're you stoppin' Benny?' Ah, anticipation, eh Rod?"

"Indeed, Dick! Look at their eyes meet, Dick! Ray's great, green ones are just beggin' Benny for satisfaction and Benny's big blue ones are just filled with mischief!"

"Fraser gives a quick lick to the tip of Vecchio's erection and, whoa! Fraser's on his feet and heading for the kitchen! He grabs that brown bag from the counter and bounds back to the bedroll! Looks like Vecchio's finally gonna see what the big mystery's all about! Look at his eyes! Could they be any bigger!? This teasin' is really great, but you gotta admit, Fraser's takin' it almost to the point of torture! Fraser reaches in the bag and pulls out . . . hmmmmmm, looks like an unlabeled squeeze bottle, Rod. Whadda ya suppose that's all about?"

"I'm guessin Fraser whipped up a batch of his all-natural, mint-flavored body gel, Dick! And hidin' it in that plain, brown grocery bag is just another way of teasin' OFC! Fraser knows Vecchio's investigative instincts always get the better of him--looks like the earlier wrestlemaina action was one clever set-up by OFM! By the way, Dick, that mint-flavored body gel is completely organic and safe for both exterior and interior massages!"

"I would think mint might burn, Rod."

"Not if it's prepared correctly, Dick! It's another one of those old Inuit recipes--tastes great, less filling, and no uncomfortable afterburn!"

"Interesting info, Rod! OFM's squeezed a generous dollop into his hand and is rubbin' it on every bit of OFC's erection! I don't think Vecchio's worried about burn, he's just goin' along with the play! He's got his head back and look at the grip on the bedroll! Bet those wrinkles will have ta be ironed out! And Fraser goes for a quick taste! Just a gentle lick to the underside and then he grabs a whole mouthful! He's already got his rhythm as Vecchio releases the bed roll and plants both hands in the Mountie's soft, curly hair! Fraser slides down to lay between Vecchio's legs, resting on his elbows as his hands hold Vecchio's hips for control! Vecchio's close to his climax! He's started that little chant!"

"He gets kinda embarrassed about that chant, Dick! It's three "oh yeahs" followed by a "Fraser", then two more "oh yeahs", another "Fraser" and he always ends with a long, drawn out "oh man"! He's said he tries to vary the pattern to keep things interesting but the play always works better when he sticks to the chant!"

"Well he's chantin' now! Those "oh yeahs" are gettin' closer together . . . and there's the climax folks! Fraser's head stops, but he's swallowin' for all he's worth! And look at the Mountie move! He's on top of Vecchio for another deep kiss!

Whoa! Looks like the action's not quite done folks! Fraser's gone for the squeeze bottle again and this time he rubs the gel on himself, with some much-appreciated help from Vecchio! OFC opens his legs wider and pulls his knees back, he knows what's commin' and he can't wait! It ain't over 'till it's over, Rod! Looks like Fraser's gonna score the last point of this game!"

"I'm guessin' Vecchio doesn't care, Dick! These guys are such a class act! They're concerned with the quality rather than the quantity, and doggonit, it shows in the planning as well as the execution!"

"You're absolutely right, Rod! Fraser's inside Vecchio, movin' fast and furious and he's already started to keen! Look at the concentration! Both the players have their eyes closed! Vecchio's got his arms and legs wrapped around the Mountie! Fraser's got his face pressed to Vecchio's neck! Oh my, there's that silent scream!

It's all over folks! What a game! The guys are tired and drenched from the effort, but I don't think they've even noticed!"

"That's what post-game showers are for! They can be almost as good as the actual game Dick!"

"You said a mouthful Rod! Don't they look awfully satisfied! We're gonna pause for a word from our sponsor. When we come back, we'll have a quick, post-game interview with our players! Stay tuned!"

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"Today's game has been sponsored by Dief's Donuts, Chicago's donut hole specialists! We challenge you to find a better hole anywhere!"

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"Welcome back folks! We're down on the field and we're just gonna get a couple of words with Vecchio and Fraser! Great game guys!"

"Thank you kindly, Dick, Rod."

"Our pleasure, gentlemen, and we really mean that, don't we Benny?"

"We certainly do, Ray."

"That's it for tonight's game folks! Join us next week when our venue moves to the Canadian Consulate right here in downtown Chicago! Benny and Ray's special guests will be Inspector Margaret Thatcher of the RCMP and Diefenbaker! Good night Rod!"

"Good night Dick! And good night folks! We hope you'll tune in for next week's game! It should be a lovely, bisexual, animalistic orgy!"*

*a virtual chocolate-dipped OFC or OFM (or both) to the first person who can cite this literary reference! ;)