"I suggest you try the Disney store."

"Oh right, they own you guys, don't they?"

Stiffly. "We don't like to talk about that."

"Sheesh Frase, don't get all pissy with me over it--what're you doing?"

"Attempting to calculate the difference in sugar content between M&M's and Smarties."

"What, I'm not that wired, am I--this is about the shirt, isn't it?"

"Not in the least."

"I dunno why you don't like it. I woulda figured you'da thought it was patriotic or something."

"It's not... dignified, Ray."

"Great, so now I've offended your Canadian sense of dignity." Muttering to himself. "Y'freak."

Pointed silence.

"... are you sure it's not just 'cause it's got the word 'ass' on it?"

"Really, Ray. The language is the least of my objections."

"What then, already?"

"It's... well... if you must know, 'Canada Kicks Ass' is hardly a national rallying cry that fosters our image of diplomacy and peacekeeping. Not to mention dignity!"

"Too late, that's twice now."

"What was that, Ray?"

"Nothing."

"Are you sure? I could have sworn I heard--"

"Let it go, Frase, just let it go. Swoosh! You hear that? That's the sound of you letting it go. Capiche?"

"You're being unreasonable, Ray! Not to mention nonsensical."

"I'm being unreasonable? When you're the one who--"

"Who what, Ray?"

"Forget it, just forget it. Over, done with, forgotten. Get it?"

Aggrieved silence.

"Look, it's just a shirt. Not like it means anything. I just thought it was kinda cool."

"If you say so, Ray."

"And it's not like I'm trying to piss you off. ... Well, not this time, anyhow."

"Ah."

"There you go with that--would it help if I took it off?"

"Pardon?"

"The shirt. You want I should take it off?"

"... and what would you do if I said yes?"

"... okay, enough shopping, let's go, right now, move it or lose it!"

Straight-faced. Almost. The hint of a satisfied Mountie smirk. "I should try that more often."

END