"I am not happy about this, Fraser

Title: Close Encounters of the Wedding Kind

Author: Debbie Hann

Challenge: Response to Anna's challenge to write a fic containing mangoes, a cowboy hat, a circus clown, and a UFO

Rating(s): G

Pairing: none

Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me, they belong to Alliance. I'm just letting them come out and play.

Feedback: yes, please! Debhann@aol.com

Many thanks to Courser, Lucky13, and TraceCat for reading this for me!

~*~*~*~*~

"I am not happy about this, Fraser."

"I know, Ray, but think of how much it will mean to Ian." Fraser replied, trying his best to placate Ray Vecchio.

"You think that matters to me, Benny? All I can say is there better be food." Clearly Fraser's efforts were not working.

Ray continued muttering under his breath while the two men walked across the field of carpet to the hotel's banquet rooms. As they approached an open door, a woman with large blond hair, dressed to the nines right up to the flower on her hat, stepped towards them.

"Y'all here for the wedding?" she asked in a rich Texas drawl. "I'm Sharlyn Troyer, the bride's mother."

"Yes, Ma'am, we are. I am Constable Benton Fraser," he continued and gestured to Ray, "and this is Ray Vecchio; we are friends of Ian's." Fraser covered Ray's snort by saying, "Ah, yes, thank you for reminding me, Ray. Where shall we put our gift?"

"Gift? Are y'all giving them a hat?" Sharlyn asked in confusion and gestured to the Stetson in Fraser's hands.

"Oh, no, Ma'am, this is part of my uniform." Spinning the brim, Fraser flipped the hat up and placed the hat on his head in one smooth motion. "Standard RCMP issue. Our gift is here," he said, unsnapping the square pouch on his Sam Brown and pulling out a small wrapped package.

"I see. The gift table is there on the right. Feel free to sit anywhere; we're about to start."

"Thank you kindly, Ma'am." Fraser took his hat back off as they stepped into the large room. A white lattice arch dominated the back wall, and a white carpet bisected the small group of chairs in front of it. But it was the cluster of tables and chairs near a table set up to serve food that held both men in rapt fascination.

"Benny, am I seeing little green men?"

"In cowboy hats, Ray."

The centerpiece on each table was made up of a toy flying saucer surrounded with baby's breath. The side of each UFO had an open hatch, out of which a little green being peeked. And each fluorescent green being was wearing a miniature 10-gallon hat. Just beyond this, on the buffet table, two more aliens topped the tiered wedding cake: one wearing a 10-gallon hat, the other a veil.

Sharlyn came up behind them, "Isn't it just precious? Ian just loves his aliens, and my Stacy Jo is an all-around Texas girl, so we decided to combine both their loves on their day of love."

"Yeah, it's precious all right." Ray's sarcasm went right over the woman's head.

Before Ray could express the depth of his opinion, the quartet began the opening bars of the wedding march.

A Short Time Later...

"Who knew mangos would taste so good on top of chicken, Benny?"

"Well, Ray, the sweetness of the fruit complements the..."

"Benny, I don't want a cooking lesson."

"Understood, Ray. Ray?" The surprise in Fraser's voice was strong enough for Ray to turn his head to see what had concerned his friend.

"A CLOWN? They're adding a clown to this circus?" Ray couldn't hide his own surprise.

The clown came prancing into the room, only to stop dead when he saw the wedding party and guests. "Oh, uh, sorry! I was looking for Josh Patterson's fifth birthday party?"

Fraser stood up, "Next room down; I saw the sign when we came in."

"Thanks! Sorry! Best wishes on a happy life! Oh, wait" he said to the bride and groom, "you like UFOs? Here." The clown stopped backing out of the room, reached into his huge pouch, and pulled out a couple balloons. Quickly blowing a purple one up, he twisted it into a donut shape, and then, taking a green one and filling it with another rapid breath, twisted it around the other to create the dome of a flying saucer. After flying it to the happy couple with a very realistic sound effect, the clown began backing out of the room again, capering and prancing to the applause from the guests.

"You gotta admire a guy who can make balloon shapes, Benny," Ray said as he resumed eating his mango chicken.

"Indeed, Ray. He was quite skilled."

"You still owe me for dragging me here, Fraser."

"Understood."

End