Author's webpage: http://victoria.tc.ca/~wy236/fic.html

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Dead, Dead, Dead
by Iris Gray

A gunshot. A red-coated figure fell to the ground. "FRASER!" Ray Kowalski screamed. He didn't care if the perp escaped. Fraser had been shot.

The Mountie lay still, too still. Ray saw where the bullet had pierced the red serge. He gathered the lifeless figure in his arms. "Fraser," he sobbed. "You can't die on me. You can't." With one hand still suppporting his friend, he used the other to dig out his cell phone and call an ambulance.

The Canadian moved. He shuddered and shook his head. "Ray?"

Kowalski shuddered then. "Fraser? No, it can't be. Yer dead. I saw ya get shot. Yer dead, this is some bizarre dream..."

In response the Mountie unfastened his tunic and dug around inside for a moment, then withdrew a small, leather-bound notebook. "It seems my journal took the bullet," he said.

Ray moaned and buried his face in his hands. "Dead, dead, dead..." he was murmuring.

"Ray, I am not dead," said Fraser.

"Dead, dead..."

"Ray"

"Ray"

"Ray"

Ben finally grabbed the detective's collar. "Ray!"

"Fraser?"

"I'm right here, Ray."

"Yer not dead?"

"I'm not dead, Ray." At that moment the ambulance showed up. The paramedics looked at the two men sitting on the ground, probably wondering why they had been called when no one appeared seriously injured. Fraser got up to greet them.

"Thank you for responding so promptly," he said. "I fell and struck my head on the ground. I was unconscious for approximately three minutes. Detective Vecchio is not physically injured but he did suffer a severe shock."

Kowalski glared at his partner. " 'Severe shock', Fraser? Severe shock my ass! You got shot! I thought you were - "

" 'Dead, dead, dead.' Yes, I know, Ray," said Fraser as the paramedics examined him.

Kowalski glared some more "We *will* discuss this, Fraser. Later."

Fraser was not certain what exactly there was to discuss, but he acquiesed and allowed the paramedics to finish working on him. They diagnosed him with a mild concussion and told him not to stay home alone that night, but to stay with someone who would wake him every few hours. They also reccomended a sedative to Ray, who just glared at them the way he'd been glaring at his partner.

"It appears that I am going home with you, Ray," Ben said.

"Oh, you bet yer ass that yer coming home with me, Fraser! Ya didn't think you were goin' to escape that easily, did ya?"

" 'Escape' Ray? I don't understand - "

"Just get in the car, Fraser."

"Understood," said the Mountie with as much meekness as he could muster. Which, truth be told, was not much. 'Innocent Mountie' he could manage. 'Meek Mountie' needed some work.

When they arrived in Ray's apartment, he immediately turned on his Canadian partner.

"Fraser, you scared me half to death! I thought you'd been killed! What is up with you and near- death experiences?"

"Ray, I am afraid I really don't know what you are talking about."

"Oh, don't pull that 'Innocent Mountie' act with me. It may work on some people, but not on me! What I am talking about is the way you pull these stupid stunts like chasing armed men through alleys - unarmed, I might add - jumping off buildings using tarpaulins for parachutes, that is when you use a parachute at all! Jumping between rooftops several stories up in the air? Confronting dangerous criminals and thinking you can talk them out of shooting or stabbing you? Fraser, do you have a death wish or what?"

Fraser rubbed his finger across one eyebrow. "No, Ray," he said quietly.

"Then why do you keep doing these crazy things? Why don't you at least get yerself a gun?"

"I don't have - "

"A permit! Yeah, I know, so why don't you get one?" Kowalski asked.

"It does seem like a lot of trouble to go to when I really don't need one. Besides, as you can see, I am not wearing a holster, therefore there really isn't anywhere in this uniform for me to carry a gun." This was not entirely true; holsters were standard issue as part of the belt with the uniform. Fraser just chose not to wear one. But he wasn't going to go in to that now.

"No holster? You mean to tell me that with all those belts and buttons and snaps and pockets and pouches and bells and whistles, there's no place you could put a gun?"

"Ray, there are no bells or whistles on my uniform."

Ray groaned. "Just forget it, Fraser. Forget I ever said anything. Go on risking yer life 8 million stupid ways a day. " He leaned on his kitchen counter, his back to his partner.

Fraser approached him and tentatively lay a hand on his shoulder. "Ray, why does this upset you so much? We're police officers. We risk our lives every day. It's our job."

With a sigh, Ray said, "Fraser, every time I see you do something like pursue an armed suspect or jump off a building or any other of the crazy ways you put yerself in danger, it's like my heart stops and it doesn't start again until I know you're okay. " He turned so that he was facing the Canadian. "I'm afraid that one day you'll take one risk too many and I won't get there in time to save you, and you'll be - "

" 'Dead, dead, dead' ?" teased Fraser.

"Do NOT joke about this, Fraser. I could have lost you today."

Ben suddenly felt ashamed. He could see Kowalski's eyes glittering with unshed tears. He hadn't realized until this moment how deeply his partner's feelings ran. He knew they were more than partners, but he had never dared hope they would ever be more than good friends, even best friends.

"Forgive me, Ray," he said. "I am so used to being alone. I am not accustomed to thinking that anyone would even miss me if something were to happen to me. I am sorry that I didn't consider your feelings."

"Feelings?" muttered Kowalski. "What feelings? Who says I have any feelings? I think Stella surgically removed my feelings."

"No she didn't, Ray. I know that you don't like to show them, but you do have feelings. I can tell."

"Yeah?" said Ray, his voice betraying just a little bit of the war between hope and despair going on inside him. "So what am I feeling now?"

In reponse, Ben took his friend's face in both of his hands and kissed him gently and firmly.

Ray looked stunned. "Whoah," he said.

"Was that a good 'whoah' or a bad 'whoah' ?" Fraser asked.

"Uh....I'm not sure. Would you do it again? Then maybe I can tell you."

His partner leaned in and kissed him again, this time daring to put his arms around Ray.

"Mmmm," said Ray after a moment. "That was definitely good."

"I'm glad you liked it, Ray," replied Benton.

"So, yer not gonna stop, are ya? 'Cause if ya do, I may have to hurt you."

"In that case, I suppose I had better not stop. After all, you do seem to worry overly much about my getting hurt."

"Damn right I do," said Ray, who was then cut off by another kiss.

Some time later, when the two men were lying in each other's arms in Ray's bed, Ray brought up the subject of his partner's life-threatening activities again. "Look, Fraser, I really do worry about you. I love you, and I couldn't stand it if anything happened to you."

"I understand, Ray. And I love you, too. I don't want you to worry about me, but as I said, a certain amount of risk does come with the job."

"Fraser, that's what having a partner is all about. We watch each others' backs. We protect each other. We back each other up. I know that yer always gonna take risks, but do ya think maybe you could let me back you up? Let me know before you go off on yer own in pursuit of truth, justice and the American way - or Canadian way, I guess. And if yer not going to get yerself a gun, do you think you could try fitting a vest under that uniform?"

"A vest?" asked Fraser in bewilderment.

"Bulletproof vest. Not every day, just when we're going into dangerous situations," explained Ray. "Better yet, just avoid chasing men with guns down dark alleys."

"Very well, Ray. I think I could do that," said Fraser. After a pause he said, "You know, Ray, the doctor did say that I should avoid sleeping for too long, that someone should wake me every few horus. Do you think you could find a way to help me stay awake?"

"Oh, I guess that could be arranged. Did you have anything in mind?"

Ben pulled Ray's body close to him. "Allow me to demonstrate," he said.

And he did.

END

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