"Don't say it, Fraser."

"Say what, Ray?"

"'Fun'."

"I'm not allowed to say 'fun'?"

"You were going to, right? You were going to say 'Well, that was fun, Ray', weren't you, Fraser?"

<...> "It was not?"

"Only if you consider dancing naked across hot coals fun. NO, IT WAS NOT!"

<...>

"Ray, that's hardly an appropriate metaphor for this incident."

"Half a dozen cops storm into my apartment to drag me out of my bed and the arms of my Mountie lover while all I'm wearing is a black leather ball gag? I wanna die here, Fraser!"

<...>

"Ray, there were only two members of the Chicago police force present, and you were neither dragged out of your bed nor out of my arms by them, because at that time I had already gotten up to answer the door."

"That's one of those things we have to talk about, Fraser. You're not *supposed* to get up and answer the door when you're in bed, having disgustingly good sex."

"But, Ray - I *had* to clear up this terrible misunderstanding."

"Misunderstanding, my ass." <mutter> "I think we should have thought about this sooner."

"How were we supposed to know that you would be just as loud a lover *with* a gag as you are without one...?"

"I scream around your cock, too, Fraser."

<blush> "... and there is no possible way we could have foreseen your neighbors taking *these* sounds - which, admittedly, did sound a bit strangled - for evidence of domestic violence and notify the police."

<sulk> <pout>

"Well, I guess it was just our luck that Detectives Huey and Dewey were in the area to answer that particular call..."

"Luck?!" <shriek> "You think we're going to live *that* down at the station?!"

"Well, they both assured me that it would be no problem to keep this solely between the four of us..."

<snort>

"... although I'm not quite sure what Detective Dewey meant by that 'blackmail' remark..."