m/m content; starts out slow, works its way up to an R rating.

(Standard, all-purpose disclaimer) All pre-existing characters are the property of the creators and producers of "Due South." No copyright infringement is intended. All new characters and situations are the sole property and responsibility of the author.

**MEMO FROM BUFFY**

First things first. Katrina, the wuss, wants it known that this is not her idea. But hey, I'm her Evil Twin Sister! What use am I if I don't make trouble for her? And I've already worked over Victoria, so it's Thatcher's turn. Oh, and I'm also supposed to warn people that this may or may not contain spoilers for "Flashback." How can you have spoilers for a clip episode, ferchrissakes?

And a further note: this originally ended with the kiss. Then someone (hi, Sharon!) asked me to provide more "details," if you know what I mean and I think you do. Hey, you don't need to twist *my* arm!

THE PERSISTENCE OF MEMORY

by Buffy

Fraser sighed heavily as the Riviera pulled away from the curb in front of the Canadian Consulate. Ray looked over at him, concerned. "You feeling okay, Benny? I tried to tell you to take a few days off after that whole amnesia thing."

Ben shook his head. "Oh, no, no. I feel fine, actually. Well, I feel fine *physically*. It's just --" he looked away uncomfortably.

"It's just what? You wanna go back to the doctor?" Without waiting for an answer, Ray swerved into the other lane and made a sharp left, cutting off the approaching traffic.

"Great Scott." Distracted from his own worries for a few moments, Ben looked out the rear window at what had only narrowly avoided becoming a major pile-up. Turning back, he said, "Honestly, Ray, I don't need to see a doctor. It's just that --" He took a deep breath and said it. "It seems I didn't get all of my memory back after all."

"What?"

It wasn't any easier to say the second time. "There still seem to be some ... gaps in my memory, Ray."

"Gaps? What kind of gaps?" Ray pulled the Riv over and turned off the ignition. "What are you talking about, Fraser?"

"Well. I'm not sure if it's entirely appropriate to discuss this, but ... I seem to have forgotten my, shall we say, my personal relationship with the Inspector."

Ray stared at him, jaw slack with amazement. When he could speak again, he said, "Your what with *who*?"

"My relationship with the Inspector. Inspector Thatcher," Ben elaborated. Ray was still staring at him, and Ben continued. "She seemed quite ... disappointed that I didn't remember anything."

Ray nodded neutrally. "Uh-huh. And did she have any ... oh, I don't know. Any souvenirs of this relationship?" Ben looked at him blankly. "You know. Love letters. A dried rose pressed in a book. Hotel receipts."

"No ... not anything like that. But Ray, she seemed quite positive that she and I were -- I'm not sure how to best phrase this."

"Knocking boots?"

"I was going to say intimate." Ben started blushing. "She showed me a drawer full of some -- some quite personal items, actually. She told me that the two of us used them with some ... frequency." He shook his head, bewildered. "I'm sure I would have remembered something like that, though. I mean, most of the things in that drawer didn't look at all comfortable."

"I bet." Ray shifted so he could look at Fraser directly. "Look, all I know about this is that you told me that you kissed her once on that train."

"Yes. I remember *that* clearly," Ben jumped in eagerly, grasping at any firm memory he could find. "But I distinctly remember her then telling me quite firmly that it would be inappropriate if we actually became ... involved." He shrugged. "She repeated herself several times that I remember, and I eventually decided that it would be inconsiderate to go against her wishes."

"Yep, can't argue with that, I suppose." Ray was trying hard not to smile. "So you don't remember anything else that points to you and herbeing ... involved?"

"I took her out for coffee once. But I'm not sure if that counts."

"Depends on what you did afterwards."

Ben blinked, with a total lack of comprehension. "I called her a cab and walked home. What else would I have done?"

"Right. Well, Benny, I have to agree with you on this one. Doesn't seem like much evidence of an affair."

"Ahhh." Ben nodded wisely. "So you think she was just ... trying to pull my leg?"

"Among other things, probably," Ray muttered.

Ben cocked his head and leaned closer. "What was that, Ray?"

Ray waved it away. "Never mind." He reached to start up the Riv again, but stopped at the expression on Ben's face. "Something else bothering you?"

Ben looked uncomfortable and he couldn't seem to quite meet Ray's eyes. "No ... well, yes. No. I'm not sure." He hesitated for a moment and ventured, "So you think I really *have* recovered all my memories?"

"Looks that way," Ray said cautiously.

"Oh." Ben sounded disappointed and he stared out the window. He shot a quick glance at Ray. "Are you sure?"

"Fraser ... I think you'd know better than me, right?"

"Ah. Yes. Of course." But he was still looking curiously at Ray. "So you're absolutely *positive* that I have all my memories back."

"Okay." Ray made himself comfortable again. "What are you getting at, Benny?"

Ben rubbed at his nose nervously. "Ummm ... well, Ray. You told me that we were just -- just friends, if you remember."

"Nothing wrong with *my* memory, Fraser," Ray said carefully. "So why are you bringing it up?"

Ben shrugged. "I'm really just asking because you said you wanted to kiss me," he said innocently.

Ray opened and closed his mouth several times. Finally he yelled, "I said that I *could* kiss you, Fraser. It's *entirely* different, it's a goddamn figure of speech."

"Of course, of course ..." Ben frowned in puzzlement. "I just thought that --"

"You thought what? I don't wanna kiss you, Fraser, all right? Geez." Ray stared out the window.

Ben seemed offended. "Then why did you bring it up in the first place? It really wasn't very considerate, you know."

Ray looked at Fraser in disbelief. "I'm inconsiderate because I don't wanna kiss you? Fine. God forbid I should be inconsiderate." Before he could stop himself (or talk himself out of it), Ray reached across the front seat and grabbed Ben, bringing their lips together for a long, intense kiss.

When he pulled away Ray stared at Fraser, shocked at his own actions and expecting to block a punch. He wasn't expecting Ben's slow grin, and he wasn't expecting the strong arms that pulled him back. "God forbid, indeed," Ben murmured just before he initiated a kiss of his own.

Fraser lifted one hand to cradle the back of Ray's head; he slid the other under the layers of overcoat and suit jacket, feeling the warmth of Ray's skin through the silk. Not satisfied with that, he started tugging the shirt free until he could feel the skin itself.

For his part, Ray was so surprised that he forgot that it had only been a goddamned figure of speech. He forgot that he and Fraser were just friends. He forgot that while it was getting dark, they were parked in plain sight of anyone who might drive by. He forgot that they really weren't supposed to be doing this in the first place. For now, for this moment, Ray's universe began and ended with Benny's mouth on his, with Benny's hands trying to pull him closer, closer still --

Ray jerked away with a gasp. "Shit!" Ben was staring at him, shocked and worried. Before Fraser could say anything, Ray waved a hand at him. "Wait a sec, Benny -- damn steering wheel -- there." Groping behind him, Ray found the latch to release the seat and pushed it as far back as he could. "Okay. Get back here." He twisted his hands in Ben's coat and yanked him back.

Against Ray's lips, Ben murmured, "Whatever you say." He pressed Ray against the door and shifted his legs so he was almost laying on the front seat. Lifting his head for a few seconds, he looked down on Ray. "I never realized your car was this ... roomy."

"Now you know why I like it."

Ben's answer was mumbled and indistinct against Ray's throat. Suddenly unable to wait any longer, he started undoing Ray's pants, pushing them and the underwear down in a bunch, at the same time shoving his shirt up so he could run his fingers throught the fine hairs on Ray's chest. He felt Ray fumbling at his uniform, muttering something about what he would do if he ever met the moron who designed the damn thing ... As quickly as possible, Ben stripped away enough of the offending material to release his own cock.

At the first contact of flesh on flesh, they both stilled, looking at each other. Then, moving slowly, never breaking eye contact, Ray put both hands on Ben's ass and firmly pressed down, his hands molding themselves to the smooth, tight muscles. Softly he said, "So I guess this is what we both want."

"It is." Ben leaned down to kiss Ray again, and he began slowly grinding his hips against Ray's. Ray arched up in response as Ben, without warning, crouched down on the car floor and took his cock in his mouth. Clutching his fingers desperately in Ben's hair, Ray came much quicker than he wanted. Ben didn't seem to mind, milking Ray until the spasms stopped.

Shakily, Ben raised himself to the seat again, pulling Ray against his chest for another kiss. "Oh, God, Benny ..." Ray fastened his hands around Ben's heated flesh, only to feel his wrist gently but firmly guided away. "Benny?"

His voice ragged, Ben said, "How fast can you get to my apartment, Ray?"

Ray stared at him blankly, then grinned wickedly. "Watch this." Barely pausing to pull his clothes together, he slammed the Riv into gear and shot back onto the street. Looking over at Ben, who was taking deep, steady breaths, he said, "This is one time you're not going to complain about my driving, right, Benny?"

"Good guess."