The first thing he was aware of was a pounding in his skull. Ben cautiously refrained from moving, in case whoever had done this to him was still waiting. His mouth didn't taste too good, but it didn't have that dirty dishwater taste that often came from being drugged. Besides, the pain in his head was becoming very localised in the back. So he'd been hit this time.
"Yo! Benny! You gonna open your eyes?" Ray's voice sounded remarkably cheerful. Ben wondered why this didn't make him feel better. Then he remembered.
He opened one eye reluctantly. Yep, he was in the back seat of the Riv. Tied up. He wondered vaguely how Ray had managed to find a replacement Riv so quickly. Last time it had taken ages... oh, well.
"Hello Ray! It's good to see you!"
Ray's grin got even wider, but not any friendlier. "Funny... I didn't think you'd say that!" Ray frowned suddenly. "You're not lying to me, are ya? I can always tell."
"Of course not Ray! You're my best friend!" Ben winced, even to him, his voice sounded far too hearty.
"I was your best friend, Benny. Not any more. Did that whack on the head make you lose your memory again?"
Oh, dear...
"Oh. So that was you... I thought I saw you out the corner of my eye as I fell." His heart was sinking. It was as bad as he'd thought.
Ray's grin was becoming a little disturbing, but then a lot of things about Ray had been disturbing lately...
"That's great Benny! Coz I'd hate it if you couldn't remember why I'm gonna do this. It wouldn't seem fair, somehow..."
Ben's hopes started to rise...
"...not that that would stop me, but I'd feel bad about it."
"Oh, well I'd hate for you to feel bad, Ray... Would you mind telling me exactly what you're going to do?"
Ray smiled. It was that rare smile of great sweetness, the one that Ben had probably seen more of than any other living person. "I'm gonna kill ya, Benny. I told ya, remember? Just before I hit ya with that plank."
"Oh, yes... it's all coming back to me now... so you really meant it?"
"Sure, Benny. Did ya think I was fooling?"
Ray seemed offended. Time to backpedal... "Oh, no... I believed you... I just thought you might change your mind. Perhaps. Or something..." Ben smiled placatingly.
"No way, Benny. You killed my Riv. And now you're gonna die." Ray took the lid off the jerry can he'd had standing at his feet and started splashing its contents around the car.
Time to try reasoning with him, Ben thought. "Ray... can't we just discuss this?"
Ray scowled dangerously. "No, Benny, you've destoyed my Riv for the last time!"
Ray got a pack of matches out of his pocket and looked at them thoughtfully. Ben's voice was desperately reasonable... "But, Ray, you're the one setting fire to it."
"And to you, don't let's forget that."
"Uh, no, Ray... I'm in no danger of forgetting that..." Ben's brow winkled slightly. He sniffed delicately. "Is that unleaded petrol you're using?"
Ray exploded. "No it's not! You see, that's the trouble with you Benny. You ignore the important things, like blowing up my car, and then worry about me using unleaded petrol! Your priorities are all wrong!"
"There's nothing wrong with my priorities, Ray... the fumes from unleaded petrol are very dangerous... and besides, I didn't blow up your car, it was..."
Ray didn't even bother to let him finish. "It was you, Benny. Don't lie to me. I know you wrote the script."
There was a thoughtful silence. "Oh... you know about that..."
"Yes, I know! What kind of idiot do you take me for?" Ray's voice rose sharply.
Ben couldn't quite meet his eyes. "Oh... so I suppose there's no chance of you changing your mind, then."
"No chance at all, Benny."
Ray was quite cheerful now. Ben supposed that, at least, was an improvement. The whole Precinct had been complaining about his obnoxious behaviour. It seemed like even this cloud had a silver lining...
He swallowed and smiled bravely. "Well... it's been nice knowing you, Ray"
"Likewise, Benny. Apart from this last week, that is..." Ray nodded affably and stepped back from the car, slowly opening the pack of matches.
*
There's nothing quite like a good fire on a chilly day, Ray thought. He stretched out his hands to the roaring blaze. Pity he hadn't thought to bring marshmallows. A curiously familiar white wolf wandered over and sat down at his side.
"Hey, Dief. Good to see you again, boy!"
It really was good to see him again. They'd all been shocked when Ben turned up with this strange dog he kept insisting was Dief. Maggie, particularly, was livid. Ray had never figured out whether Ben had done it deliberately or whether he really hadn't noticed, though that seemed a bit strange considering how observant he usually was. But then everything had been a bit strange lately. Just as well he was going undercover, Ray thought.
The fire was dying down now. Might as well leave. Dief followed him back to the car. A nice mint green 1971 Buick Riviera. In top condition too, not like the one he'd got for Benny. And this time it was going to stay that way. Dief slipped into the front passenger seat when Ray opened the door for him. He went around to the driver's side and got in.
"Whaddaya say, Dief? How about we go back to Chicago... the real one? I never thought the grafitti looked that convincing myself... even the garbage was too tidy. Maybe we could get one of the networks interested in a show about a Chicago cop and a deaf lip-reading wolf? Not CBS, though.... maybe Fox, huh?"
Dief yelped happily.
Ray grinned. "Yeah, I thought you'd like that."
He started the engine and they drove off into the sunset.