(Standard, all-purpose disclaimer) All pre-existing characters are the property of the creators and producers of "Due South." No copyright infringement is intended. All new characters and situations are the sole property and responsibility of the author.

Rated R for m/m content.

**MEMO FROM BUFFY**

Katrina is thoroughly zoned out on her birthday jelly beans by now, so while she's in a sugar-induced stupor, *I'm* in control for a while. You know, she always seems to give Ray the best lines, so I decided to make it up to poor old Benny.

This one is for Gloria.

SAY ANYTHING

by Buffy

"Good morning, Ray. I think the coffee is still hot, or I could make a fresh pot if you'd like. I wasn't expecting you so early -- I don't have to be at the consulate for two hours yet."

...

"Of course I'm not upset that you're here ... I was just saying that I wasn't expecting you. I wouldn't ever be upset to see you. That is to say, of course --"

...

"Excuse me?"

...

"Well, yes, Ray, of course you mean a lot to me, too. You mean a -- a great deal to me, in fact. Certainly, I've never ... well. That is to say, in the time I've been in Chicago you've become very important to me. Ah, I mean 'important' in the sense of ... oh, dear, how do I mean it?"

...

"Of course, if you insist I'll shut up, but I don't really understand why -- Ray? Ray? Ray ..."

...

"Ray, don't ..."

...

"No! I meant ... I meant don't stop."

...

"Yes. I believe I do."

...

"Ray, why are you taking off your -- Well ... yes. It is feeling a bit warm in here, now that you mention it ... perhaps I should -- Oh, thank you. Yes. That's better."

...

"Ray -- what are you doing with that bottle of hand lotion? Ah. Yes. I see. Um. Are you actually chafing *there*? No, Ray, I'm not attempting to tell you your business, but I don't actually -- well, if you insist, of course I'll remove my trousers. Oh, and my underwear too? All right."

...

"Oh my!"

...

"No -- no, Ray, it's quite all right. Actually -- it feels very -- ahhhmmm. Oh, yes. That's quite ... oh, please. Please ..."

...

"Ohhhhh ... Dear god, Ray. That's -- oh, yes. There. Now."

...

"*Now*, damn it, Ray! Ray ... ohhhh, god, please god, please Ray ... I love -- I love --"

...

...

...

" ... Ray ... Do you have your phone with you?"

...

"Thank you."

...

"Because I believe I'm going to be late for work, and it's only proper that I inform the consulate of that."

...

"Ah. Well, I'll just tell them that something came up, and -- Ray!"

Katrina Bowen~~~~~kbowen@willowtree.com~~~~~buffy@jumpgate.net~~~~~

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane. --Mark Twain