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Title: Shaggy Dog #5: Luck of the Draw 
Author: Marian 
Category: Humor/parody 
Ratings/warnings: G. If you hate puns, do not read this story. 
Pairings: none 
Spoilers: This takes place just after "Odds." 
Disclaimers: The Due South Characters Belong to Alliance. 
Teaser: A Shaggy Dog story is a story ending with a, usually painful,
pun or joke. This one involves Robert Fraser and poker Archive: Please
archive.

It had been an exhausting case for Constable Benton Fraser. His back
ached from the injury it had sustained when pursuing an accomplice of
Denny Scarpas, A.K.A. Ladyshoes. He had played poker most of the night.
First in the course of the case and then with his friend Ray Vecchio
(A.K.A. Stan Kowolski). Finally he made his way to his room at the consulate
for some much-needed rest. Removing the tuxedo and lying down on the
cot Fraser found he could not sleep despite his exhaustion. "Hello son."

Fraser glanced towards the closet that also happened to be the entrance
to Robert Fraser's office. "Hello dad" Resigned to another one of his
fathers' visits Ben ventured to ask: "What brings you here?" 
"I noticed that you could not sleep and I thought a simple conversation
might do you some good. You know son sometimes men are more comfortable
talking about certain matters at night that they would not talk about
during the day." "Certain matters, dad?" 
"You know matters of the heart.." .
"I don't want to hear it." 
"Son I don't want your experience with this Ladyshoes to sour you on
the female of the species. I would like grandchildren and..." "Dad, I'm
too tired to be talking about this now and unless you can find a way
to help me shut down the strategic part of my brain that won't stop playing
mental poker, then I would like to be left alone." "Poker?" 
"Yes." 
"You know son, many's the time I played poker in my younger days in the
RCMP. It helped to pass the time, when I was stuck in close quarters
with Buck or another constable. Yes, indeed I was quite a player although
I couldn't teach you the game or your grandmother would have had my hide."
During this recitation from his father Ben came upon an idea. 
"You know, dad, maybe you could help me. Why don't we play some poker
and.." "Son, I know what you are trying to do and that is to distract
me from talking about the Scarpa woman." "I'll tell you what dad, let's
play a hand of poker and if I win we don't talk about Denny Scarpa at
all and you won't pressure me about my intimate life for say... a month."
"Alright son, we'll do this your way. But if I win we will talk about
Scarpa and ...you will ask the lovely inspector on a proper evening out.
The drunkard she was with tonight was totally unsuitable for her" "But
dad, she is my superior.." 
"Damn the regulations. She has good breeding potential. What's the matter
son, don't think you can beat your old man?" "So be it. Let's play."

Ben got out a deck of cards and shuffled them. He then passed them To
Robert to cut. That done he dealt the cards to himself and his father.
"Do you want any cards dad?" 
"I'll take two, son." 
"Here you go and the dealer takes one." 
Ben looked, with some alarm at his father as Robert had a slight twitch
to his lips indicating a smile was in the offing. Looking at his own
cards had Ben trying to restrain a smile of his own. "OK dad, what do
you have?" 
Robert presented a hand of five beautiful hearts. He then sat back and
grinned smugly. Benton then presented his hand of a pat full house, which
beat his fathers, hand. Contented with his victory he said: "Well dad
I guess this proves the old adage." 
"Which adage is that son?" 
 
"Your spirit was willing but your flush was weak." 
 
The End. 
Feedback: oclark@ix.netcom.com 
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