"There isn't any soap in it, Ray

Title: Soggy

Author: Debbie Hann, February 17, 2000

Rating: G

Genre: None

Category: Humor

Pairings: None

Spoilers: None

Of course they don't belong to me... sob! <wg>

I got caught in the rain the other day coming down from campus . . . this is the result!

~*~*~*~

"It's only water, Ray; it isn't as if there's any soap in it."

"Gosh, thanks for the newsflash, there, Fraser. Don't know what I'd do without ya.'" Ray Kowalski's well, Vecchio's last word turned into a growl as his stiff fingers couldn't get the key to work in his door. He'd only done it seventeen million times. Then again, he wasn't usually dripping all over the hallway.

"Ray, do you need some assistance?" Fraser asked.

"Fraze, I learned how to unlock a door last week, just like tyin' my own shoes." The lock finally gave and he shoved open the door. "Ha! Toldja I could do it," he said triumphantly as he walked into the apartment, an equally wet and dripping Mountie and his wolf trailing behind him.

"Are you sure--,"

"Fraze, how many times I gotta tell ya'? Yer welcome to a pair of sweats."

"Thank you kindly, Ray."

"Just toss yer wet stuff over there by the washer, 'kay?" Ray's muffled voice came as he walked towards his bedroom. Finishing pulling his soaking t-shirt over his head, he tossed towards the open washer closet and right into the open washer. "Yes! Two points!"

Smiling at his friend's exuberance, Fraser began unbuckling his Sam Browne as he watched Ray bip down the hallway and into his bedroom. The blond cop emerged moments later, a pair of sweats hanging from one hand, another now draping his lower body, and a dripping ball of jeans in the other hand.

"Keer-ist, I hate wet jeans," Ray moaned as he tossed them in the washer and came back towards Fraser. "They stick and pinch in inappropriate places."

"Well, I can assure you, Ray, wet serge is no walk in the park."

"You know, Fraze, for some reason I find that pleasing."

"I did apologize, Ray"

"Yeah, I know, buddy, doesn't mean I can keep buggin' ya' about it. Nothin' in the rulebook says that." His cocky grin grew wider as he tossed a pair of sweats at Fraser. "These oughtta fit; my Gran gave 'em to me. She always buys stuff two sizes too big. Think she's still hopin' I'm gonna 'sprout up' some day." Ray shook his head in exasperation. "Never seems to faze her, not even the fact that I stopped the growing thing pushin' twenty years ago."

"I don't know that there's a way to disabuse grandmothers of something they get in their heads."

Ray snorted his agreement with that as he began walking towards the kitchen and Fraser headed for the bathroom to change.

Before they'd made it very far, however, Dief took exception to the way he and his wet fur were being ignored. Positioning himself for maximum effect, Dief let loose with the ultimate body shake, flinging water drops and spray all over Ray's now dry chest and sweats and Fraser's still soggy frame.

"Hey! That is NOT buddies, ya' mangy furball!" Ray shrieked, his arms and one leg coming up to shield himself.

Fraser whipped around and looked down at the wolf in shock. "What exactly do you think you're doing?"

Dief barked loudly.

Raising an eyebrow, Fraser replied, "Actually, I was just heading to the bathroom to get a towel for you. Your lack of patience is not appreciated, and you owe Ray an apology." Another bark. "Do not take that tone with me. I will get you a towel in a moment; now you'll have to wait until I've finished changing."

Dief huffed a little under his breath as Fraser began turning to go change. "I heard that. And, by the way, this little stunt just earned you a week standing guard with me, my friend." He held the wolf's gaze for a moment before Ray's voice pulled him away.

"Ha! That'll teach ya'" Fraser couldn't be sure, but he though he'd seen Ray quickly stick his tongue out at the wolf. "See if I share my donuts with you next time."

Shaking his head and trying to rid himself of the sudden image of himself as the father of two unruly children, Fraser walked down the hallway to change.

"Hey, Fraze," Ray shouted, still smirking down at the wolf. "Woulda bring a towel back for me, too; my hair's still drippin.'

"Certainly, Ray," Fraser's voice came drifting back.

"Oh, hey, you want some tea? I just bought some of that herby stuff you like."

"That would be delightful, Ray," Fraser tossed back as he closed the bathroom door.

A few minutes later, a now dry Dief lay beneath the coffee table, lurking until Fraser's anger faded. The two men sat on the couch, each in a pair of sweats, Ray with a damp towel around his neck, savoring a steaming cup of tea.

Ray scunched his feet under the middle couch cushion, and took a sip of his tea; it wasn't too bad if you added enough honey. Now if he could just stop his partner from chasing bad guys from here to Timbuktu in the rain, everything would be perfect. Oh, well, Fraze was right; there wasn't any soap in it.

Fin!