by Claire Louise
clairelouise@mcmail.com
Rating PG-13

Catagory: humour
 

I haven't been a DS fan for very long, so please forgive me if there are
any glaring mistakes! Other than that, it's my first story, and (nice!)
comments are welcome. I can't claim it to be a work of literary genius,
but for twenty minutes work I think it's pretty good. Standard
disclaimers apply.

"Raimondo!" Mrs. Vecchio called after her son's departing figure. "Raimondo!
You forgot your breakfast!"

"No time, ma. I'll be late to work, and I have to pick up Fraser. I've picked up a
doughnut."

She shook her head. "That's no substitute for good home cooking, Raimondo."

        "Bye ma!"
 

        Ray opened his post as he waited impatiently at a traffic light. He chucked a
couple of bills onto the backseat, and then curiously examined the letter he had received
that morning. His address was typed and there was no return address or clue as to who
the sender was. He noticed that it was postmarked Chicago. Who, he wondered as he
idly ripped open the letter, would send him a letter from Chicago, when they could have
easily talked to him? Quickly he scanned the letter, his eyes widening in shock at every
word.

        "Oh my God." He blasphemed when he had finished, stuffing the letter into the
glove compartment. "Benny, what the hell am I supposed to do now?"

        Dear Ray, the letter read

        I have something important to tell you, but I can't tell you to your face,
because I'm too embarrassed. I just want you to know before you read this that you are my best friend, Ray, and nothing will change that. So whatever your reaction to this letter, just remember that we're still friends and nothing can change that. Please don't hate me.

        I'm in love with you. There, I've written it. It took me a long time to realise this, because I've never thought of my myself as homosexual, but I've realised that I don't just care about you as a friend, but I'm attracted to you very strongly.

        The reason I can't say this to your face is not only that I'm embarrassed but that I'm afraid that you'll reject me. Not only as a potential lover, but as a friend. And I couldn't cope if that happened.

        If you feel the same way that I do, then when you pick me up this morning please give me a sign. Tell me you got the letter, cough, wink... anything. Just let me know somehow.

        If, however, you don't feel the same way about  me, then please don't mention this ever. Just dismiss it as a silly joke someone played on us and forget about it.

        Thank you kindly,

Benton Fraser

        Ray put his head in his hands, oblivious to the hoots and shouts from behind him
as the lights turned green. What was he going to do? He was certain of one thing- he
wasn't attracted to Benny. He knew he cared deeply about him, as a friend, but he didn't
want their relationship to go any further. Ray shook his head. No, he was definitely not
gay. In fact, he had never been comfortable with the subject of gay people. It made him
feel uncomfortable and slightly repulsed. How, then, was he going to survive having a
best friend who was not only gay but attracted to him?

        He picked Fraser up as usual outside his apartment. He had considered making
his reaction clear by 'forgetting' to pick Fraser up that morning, but decided that would
only hurt his friend. He remembered what Fraser had said- 'I couldn't cope if that
happened.' He couldn't risk Benny doing something stupid.

        "Good morning, Ray." Benny, Ray noticed, looked slightly wary.

        "Hey Benny. Sorry I'm late."

        "It's okay, Ray."

        Ray looked at him out of the corner of his eye. Should he mention the letter, get
things out in the open?

        "Benny-" he began cautiously "we've been friends a long time..." he trailed off,
remembering the letter- 'give me a sign.' What if Benny took this as a sign?

        "Yes Ray, we have." Fraser agreed nervously.

        "That's it."

        "That's it?"

        "Yeah. That's all I want to say."

        "Oh."

        They rode in silence for another minute or two, and then they stopped at a traffic
light. Ray found the silence uncomfortable and reached for his doughnut. At that
moment, the Riv stalled, and Ray swallowed his doughnut the wrong way. Choking
loudly, he remembered that Fraser had suggested coughing as a sign. Quickly, he
swallowed the doughnut.

        "I didn't cough!"

        Fraser looked confused. "Ray, I believe that you did in fact-"

        "No! What I mean is I didn't mean to cough!"

        "Ray, I hardly thought that you meant to choke on your doughnut."

        "And I didn't wink either."

        "I wasn't aware that you did wink."

        "Good. I just wanted to make that clear."

        They rode on in silence. When they reached the Consulate, Fraser didn't get out
of the car.

        "Benny?" Ray asked impatiently.

        "I was just wondering... Ray, did you by any chance get a letter this morning?"

        Ray exploded. "Fraser, how can I make this clear to you? I'm not gay! Not at
all! If you are, fine, I don't care. I'm still your friend. But I'M NOT! Don't you EVER
know when to give up?"

        Fraser looked startled for a moment, then regained his composure. "So you sent
the letter because..." he began, and left the sentence open for Ray to complete.

        "I what?"

        "Was it a temporary case of confusion? Or memory loss? Or denial?"

        "What?"

        "Ray- did you send me this letter?" He removed a folded up typewritten letter
from his pocket and handed it to Ray, who quickly scanned it.

Dear Benny, the letter began

        I have something important to tell you, but I can't tell you to your face,
because I'm too embarrassed. I just want you to know before you read this
that you are my best friend, Benny, and nothing will change that. So whatever your reaction to this letter, just remember that we're still friends and nothing can change that. Please don't hate me.

        Ray's face grew redder and redder as he read the letter. Finally, when he finished,
he looked up at Fraser.

        "At first," Fraser was babbling "I assumed that it was a hoax, written by Detectives Huey and Louis... I detected the scent of their cologne on the letter, and I also noticed that the letter contained none of your trademark typing errors... but when you were acting so strangely this morning, I started thinking that maybe..." he trailed off, looking for once lost for words. "Ray, if you did write it, I just want to tell you that I'm still your friend, as much as I was before, but I'm afraid that I can't return your affections. I'm very flattered, of course, but I just don't- well, I'm not- well."

        Ray started to laugh. "So you didn't write this?" he asked, handing Fraser the
letter from the glove compartment. Fraser's eyes widened as he read the letter, which
was almost identical to his own. "No!"

        Ray shook his head. "I'll pick you up at five, Benny. And I can promise you that
I'm going to kill those two when I get down to the station. Oh, and Benny?"

        Fraser, who had already got out of the car, leaned in through the window.

        "Yes, Ray?"

        "Sorry for shouting- if it had been true, I would of still been your friend. You
know what I mean?"

        Fraser returned his warm smile. "I do, Ray. Thank you kindly."
 

THE END.