TAKE THIS MOUNTIE

 BY JD "NICK" DUNCAN

The groom stood at the door of the church, watching the long white limousine come up the driveway towards him. He turned as he felt a tap on his shoulder. His bestman stood behind him smiling.

 "Come on. It's bad luck to see the bride beforehand."

 The groom nodded and followed his friend into the dark sanctuary of the church. As he entered, he saw his father shaking his head somberly. He wondered for moment what he was upset about, but his mind was quickly taken over by other thoughts as people greeted him. He shook a few hands, then nervously walked to the top of the alter and smiled at the priest

 "The bride has arrived, sir." He wondered why his voice was shaking.

 Father Behan nodded and smiled back--he'd seen nervous grooms before. "It will all be over soon Benton. Don't worry."

 A loud sobbing caught his attention. Three pews back sat a long line of women. Each held a handkerchief to her face cried loudly into it.

 "Gee," complained Ray. "You'd think we were at a funeral, not a wedding."

 Grumbling at his feet made him look down. "Yeah Dief, you're right. To them it is a funeral."

 Suddenly the organ music started. The bride appeared at the doorway. Everyone stood up. Ben froze as he saw her, and his palms were sweating. Ray placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him fainting.

 The bride started her slow march down the aisle. She was feeling uncomfortable in the dress her mother had chosen--she would have been more comfortable in one of her suits. The lace of the dress dug into her neck,and through the thick veil she could just make out Ben standing ahead of her.

 She started to tremble, and glanced at the man leading her down the aisle. He looked more scared than the groom did.

 "Dont walk so fast!" she whispered hoarsly to her escort. He slowed down.

 They continued the march. Finally she reached Ben and the priest. Father Behan smiled and took their hands before he asked the congregation to sit.

 "Who gives this woman to this man?"

 "I do," said the man who had escorted the bride down the aisle. Then he went and sat next to the bride's mother.

 The priest started the ceremony. "We have come together here in the sight of God, and in the presence of this congreation, to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony."

 He droned on in a somber voice. Dief finally lay down and napped when he realised there would be no food until the reception.

"Therefore, if anyone can show just cause why they may not be joined together, let him speak now or forever hold his peace.""

Suddenly a yell ripped through the church. Everyone stared as the proxy father of the bride jumped to his feet. The bride's mother had just pinched him very painfully. He looked down at her. She looked back long and hard.

"Do you have something to say sir?" asked the priest.

"Do I?" he asked the mother. She nodded at him. "Oh. Okay."

The bride looked threatningly at him. Ray took a step forward, but Ben stopped him.

"Then speak," said the Mountie.

The bride swept her veil away from her face and looked up at her friend. "Whats up?"

He looked nervously at her mother again, who nodded him on. "You can't marry him."

"Why not?"

He sought for a good excuse. "Because ummm...because he's Canadian."

"That's not a good enough reason."

"Because I'd have to call you Fraser from now on."

"Nope."

"Because you don't love him."

The congregation gasped. Ray took another step forward. "Want me to get rid of him Benny?"

"What makes you think I don't love him?"

"Because you love me, that's why. And if you marry him, that means you cant marry me."

The bride started to cry. "You picked a good time to tell me!"

"Sorry."

The bride turned to Ben. "He's right Ben. I don't love you."

Benny nodded, and swallowed. "Understood."

A sigh of relief came from the third pew back.

"I'm sorry." She handed the bouquet to Ben, then turned to her friend.

"Okay Mulder, let's get out of here."

"Coming Scully. Bye, boys."

Then he picked her up and carried her from the church, amidst a wild cheering of females. Ben was still a bachelor....

The end

Return to the Due South Fiction Archive