Author's webpage: http://www.geocities.com/hollywood/land/4191

This story is the result of a discussion on TheCloset mailing list that I got a little bit carried away with.

Rated PG for mild m/m and f/f interaction.

THE UNUSUAL DATING HABITS OF THE VECCHIO SIBLINGS

"I'm telling you, Benny, it'll be great!" Ray Vecchio was talking excitedly as he drove the Riveria through the streets of Chicago towards his home.

"It will be the perfect summer evening. First Ma's cold pasta salad, which is good enough to make a grown man weep, then we'll watch the Cubbies game on TV. It's gonna be perfect. I'll teach you all about baseball. No offense Fraser, but you don't know Jack Squat about the game."

"We don't get much baseball coverage in the Territories, Ray." Ben tried to defend himself.

"You've been in Chicago over two years now, Benny. It's about time you learned."

Ben smiled at his lover. "Yes, Ray."

"And part of the experience is drinking a beer during the game, Fraser."

"Ray, I don't drink beer."

"Come on, Benny. *Everyone* drinks during a game."

"*Everyone*? So every man, woman and child at every baseball game is drinking beer?" Ben raised an eyebrow at Ray, and could barely keep the smile off his face. "That hardly sounds healthy, Ray."

"Benny, for God's sake!" Ray exclaimed, then gave in and laughed. "OK. I confess. I had an ulterior motive. I wanted to get you drunk so I could have my way with you."

Ben smiled demurely. "Oh, Ray. You don't have to get me drunk to have your way with me."

Ray grinned at him. "Really?" Taking a hand off the steering wheel, he gave Benny's crotch a firm, happy squeeze.

Ben jumped and gasped. "Ray!"

"What?" Ray smiled. After a few seconds, he started to move his hand.

Ben, however, quickly covered Ray's hand with his own, and kept it firmly in place.

"Benny..."

Ben smiled and wriggled his hips slightly.

"Benny. Seriously. I'm gonna crash the car." Ben sighed and removed his hand, allowing Ray to do the same.

Ray pulled the Riv into the Vecchio's driveway and cut the engine, and Ben leaned over and gave him a brief kiss that left Ray gasping. "We'll continue this after the game, Ray." Ben said, and got out of the car.

"Oh my God." Ray said, and leaned his head against the steering wheel. He jumped as the horn went off; and he could hear Benny laughing in the driveway.

Ben and Ray entered the kitchen to find it miraculously empty. Taking advantage of this rare gift, Ray grabbed Ben and pushed him up against the wall.

"Ray, what are you doing?" Ben asked, glancing nervously at the door.

"I want a down payment, Benny." Ray said. He silenced further argument by capturing Ben's mouth with his own.

Ben sighed and surrenered, giving himself over completely to the enjoyment of the taste and feel of Ray's tongue in his mouth.

A sudden voice startled both men. "Oh my God! Take it some place private, would you?"

It was Francessca. Ray turned to look at her. "Some place private? I defy you to find some place private in this house, Frannie. If you find one, please let us know and we will go there."

"Oh, I know a private place all right." Frannie said, a smile spreading over her face. "But I'm keeping it a secret."

"Really?"

"Yes, really." She answered, her smile widening. "Hello, Benton." Fran added as Ben disentangled himself from Ray and stepped away from the wall.

Ray was watching his sister carefully. "Anything you want to tell us, Fran?"

"As a matter of fact there is."

"I knew it!" Ray exclaimed. For about three weeks now Frannie had been showing the tell-tale signs of being in love. Again.

She had the glow in her eyes, the constant smile on her face, the tendency to hum Italian Arias incessantly. But there was something different this time. Something was missing. The usual nervousness and edginess that Fran usually had when she was in a relationship were absent completely. In their place was peace and contentment. To Ray, that could only be a good sign.

"So. Who is this guy? He's not a loser, is he?"

"No. Most definitely not a loser. And... not a guy."

"Excuse me?"

"I have a girlfriend, Ray."

"A girlf..." Ray stared at Frannie for a moment, then glanced at Ben, who seemed nearly as surprised as Ray himself felt.

"Yes Ray. A girlfriend. Surprised?"

"Yes. Very."

Fran laughed. "Well get used to it, big bro, 'cause she's here to stay. Do you want to meet her?"

"What? Now?"

"Yes. She's here for dinner and we're making the 'big announcement' to the family. Hold on, I'll get her." Fran crossed to the door and stuck her head through. "Honey? Could you come in here for a minute?"

A few seconds later, Meg Thatcher stepped into the kitchen. "Hi Fraser. Hello Vecchio." She smiled.

It took exactly three seconds for it to hit both Ray and Ben. They stared at Meg in stunned surprise, then turned to Fran.

"Sir?" Fraser managed to say.

"Fran?" Ray asked in equal disbelief. "You're dating the Dragon La-" he stopped abruptly.

Meg laughed. "Ray, does this mean we're related now?"

Ray shuddered dramatically, and Meg laughed again.

"But... how..." Fraser was still unable to string together a coherent sentence.

Meg smiled at him kindly. "It was last month at your birthday party. Almost everyone had gone, and Francessca and I started talking. We stayed in the restaurant until it closed, and then we went to a coffee shop. We must have been there until 3:00 a.m."

Fran took up the story. "The next night we went out to dinner again. And we went out the night after that, and the night after that... And as the saying goes, one thing led to another."

Meg smiled softly at Fran and took her hand.

"So," Ray asked his sister, trying to recover his senses, "you're gay?"

Fran shrugged. "I don't know. Gay? Bi? Who cares? The only thing I know is that Meg makes me happier than any man ever has."

"Oh, Francessca." Meg said, running her fingers up and down Fran's arm.

Finally, Fraser found his voice. "But, Ma'am... the train." He waved his hands helplessly through the air. "The kiss..."

Meg grinned at him. "Well, Constable, it looks like you're not the only one unimpressed by that kiss, eh?"

Ray couldn't help himself. He laughed. Fraser glared at him briefly, then turned back to Meg.

"It wasn't a bad kiss Ma'am. Your technique was excellent. In particular, that thing you did with your tongue was very enjoyable."

Ray bristled.

"Oh!" Frannie said. "She did that to you, too?"

Ben nodded.

"Your technique wasn't too shabby either." Meg told Ben.

"Thank you kindly, Ma'am."

Thatcher sighed harshly. "Fraser, do you think you could call me 'Meg' now?"

"Yes, Ma- Meg. So, technically, the kiss was fine, but the emotions..."

"They just weren't there." Meg said.

"No." Ben agreed. "Not like they're supposed to be."

The two Mounties smiled at each other in understanding, relieved to have settled the matter once and for all.

"That's really too bad, Frase." Frannie piped up. "Because with that technique, and those emotions... WOW!"

Fraser blushed hotly, and Ray laughed again and slipped his arm around Benny's waist.

"Come on, Francessca." Meg smiled at her girlfriend. "Let's give these two time to adjust to the situation."

Fran smiled back at her. "All right hon." The two women left through the back door.

For a long minute, silence reigned in the kitchen. Finally, Ray spoke. "Wow."

"Yes." Fraser agreed.

"You know, though, Benny; Meg may just be the perfect match for Frannie. Strong enough to deal with Frannie's crap, yet she'll treat her well."

Ben nodded. "Inspector Thatcher- Meg- needs someone equally strong, and Francessca is that."

"I'll say." Ray agreed, rolling his eyes. He looked at his lover for a moment. "Um, Benny?"

"Yes, Ray."

"'That thing with her tongue?'"

Ben grinned. "Yes, Ray."

"What exactly was that?"

"Well, Ray, it's hard to put into words. I think I'll need to demonstrate."

Ray smiled invitingly at him.

Rosa stepped into the kitchen, intending to put the finishing touches on dinner. She stopped just inside the door at the sight of her son and his Canadian friend standing in the middle of the room, their arms about each other's waists, engaged in a very exuberant kiss.

She sighed to herself. Dinner could wait a bit longer. Maybe she would just go out and sit on the back porch swing for awhile. She crossed the room quietly and slipped out the back door, stopping short again at the sight that greeted her there.

The porch swing was already occupied by another Canadian, and Rosa's daughter was draped across said Canadian's lap. These two were also engaged in a very busy kiss, and their hands were exploring each other's breasts.

Rosa crept quietly off the porch and sought refuge under the large maple tree in the back yard. She let out a huge sigh.

'This is all my fault.' She thought to herself. 'All those times they wanted Lucky Charms for breakfast. I should have been stronger. I knew so much sugar so early in the day would do strange things to my children's brains.'

THE END