What're We Going To Do Today?

Rated G, Due South, Season 3.

Disclaimer: Due South and its characters are owned by Alliance Communication.

The author will make no money from this story and doesn't authorize anyone else

to make money from it. No copyright infringement is intended.

WHAT'RE WE GOING TO DO TODAY?

By Anna McLain

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"How did we get roped into this, Fraser?"

"We weren't forced into this, Ray."

"Say again?" Ray fought the windy gusts to throw a pop can into his trash bag. The cars that whizzed by made it difficult to hear his partner.

"It's Earth Day."

"You *volunteered* us?"

The Mountie nodded.

Ray spun in a slow circle and surveyed the shoulder of the highway. No other humans were in sight. "My pop always said never volunteer for anything. That's how you end up shoveling dog poop."

Fraser was quiet as he scooped up a dirty, discarded piece of clothing.

He looked at it curiously before shoving it in his trash bag.

"So, now we're trash-picking along the Dan Ryan in a wind storm?"

"Yes."

"This is what they have prisoners for."

"Ray, Ray, Ray, we're simply making our contribution. It's hardly work at all."

Ray adjusted the too large, orange vest he wore and frowned because the Mountie's vest fit perfectly, like everything else.

"Why are we doing this on our day off instead of watching wrestling like every other red-blooded...uh...guy?"

"I said before, Ray. It's Earth Day."

"And I thought we were being punished."

"On the contrary, Ray. Earth Day was established to raise awareness about conservation and recycling issues, to save the planet for future generations. We're doing our small part." He caught a candy wrapper as it blew by. A car passed them and honked, its passengers waving at the two men. Fraser waved back. Ray shook his head sadly.

"They weren't saying 'Hello', Fraser. Y'know, I know you want to clean up America. I didn't think you meant like this."

Fraser stared over his shoulder at the car that had honked. A pickup truck passed them and the passenger tossed a McDonald's bag at them. Dief ran to retrieve it.

"Ah, thank you kindly." Fraser grinned and waved at the truck.

"Okay, so I understand why * you* would want to do this but why me?" Ray went on.

"Don't you want to save the Earth, Ray?"

"Yeah, sure and the whales, too." He checked to see if his friend was listening. The Mountie concentrated on the grass. "We're two guys, Fraser."

Diefenbaker whined.

"Okay, two guys and a deaf wolf. Hey, you really want him eating that Mickey D's bag? Anyways, we ain't going to make much difference."

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, Ray." He stooped to pick up some trash. When he stood a newspaper, riding the breeze plastered itself against the back of his head, just below the brim of his Stetson. "This is one way to do it. You said before that it isn't difficult to pick up trash. In fact, you lamented the fact that many Americans prefer to throw their trash on the ground as opposed to simply tossing it into the trash bin."

"I said that?"

"Yes, you did." Fraser removed the newspaper.

"You've done this before, haven't you?"

"In a way, yes. I once arrested a man for dumping toxic waste just outside an Inuit village. One could relate that to Earth Day. Haven't you ever cleaned up the planet, Ray?"

"The planet, no. But, well, once when I was ten I helped my school clean up a park. Does that count?"

"It certainly does, Ray."

Fraser glanced at the newspaper before stuffing it into the trash bag.

"Great Scott, Ray!"

"What? What?" Ray dropped into a fighting stance and whirled around wildly.

"This paper!"

"What?" Ray pressed up next to Fraser, staring over his shoulder at the paper. To his horror, the Mountie brought the paper up to his lips and licked it.

"Ugh! Warn a guy when you're gonna do that!"

Fraser did it again.

"Okay, so what is it? Poison? Toxic waste? Motor oil?"

The Mountie shook his head. "False alarm. Ketchup, Wendy's, I'd say."

Ray rolled his eyes, threw up his hands and paced back to the trash bag he had dropped.

"I thought we were really gonna save the world." Ray sounded disappointed.

"Don't be silly, Ray. All of the little things add up to the big ones. We *are* saving the world."

Ray regarded him quietly for a moment.

"So, we coming out here on Secretary's Day, too?"

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Finis.

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Pinky: "So, What're we going to do today, Brain?"

Brain: "The same thing we do EVERYday. Try to takeover (or save) the world!"

Bru hahaha...

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