Hi all--This little vignette came out of some conversation with my
friend Alan who also likes the show. It was he who actually provided me
with a good bit of the dialogue. Hope it makes you smile!

Wolfiekins


Humor, rated G

The young University student ran her hands through Diefenbaker's soft
fur and scratched behind his ears. Obviously an animal lover, she'd
spotted Ben walking him and asked if she could pet him. "Good boy. Good
boy," she
soothed, chucking him under his chin. Dief sat calmly, eyes half-closed,
the picture of lupine contentment. Ben stood aside, watching and
smiling, half-pleased that for once a girl was paying more attention to
the wolf than to him.

"What did you say his name was, sir?" the girl asked.

"Diefenbaker," the Mountie replied.

"After the Prime Minister, huh?" she continued, and when Ben nodded,
turned her attention back to the very happy wolf.

"Well, Diefers," she cooed, "you're a cute little wolfiekins!"

Ben raised his eyebrows.

"Ma'am," he replied, politely as always, but firmly, "he is *not* a
'cute little wolfiekins'. He is an Arctic timber wolf, a dangerous wild
animal. He can take down a caribou in one leap. He could no doubt
disable or even kill a grown man, and would, if anyone were threatening
me. He can outrun any prey and outfight most other wolves of his kind.
So you see, ma'am, he is not *cute*. Snarl at the nice lady, Dief. Show
her you're not a cute little wolfiekins."

Dief looked calmly back at his master, and then stood up on his hind
legs and begged prettily, his tongue hanging out, the epitome of
adorableness.

"...and you just keep paying and paying and paying..."