Fraser did not go with Ray to the airport. The morning after was exceedingly uncomfortable. He woke to find Ray dressed, shaved and completely businesslike.
"Ray..?"
"Don't say it, Fraser." Ray said quickly. "Just don't fucking say it."
"Understood." Fraser said automatically. He watched Ray pack, too self conscious to get up. Under the thin sheet, he was naked and very much aware of rather obvious marks of an erotic nature on various portions of his anatomy. He suspected that Ray also had a few non permanent souvenirs of the night before, but they were covered by his clothes.
"Get up, Benny." Ray ordered abruptly. "The hotel expects the room to be empty when I check out." Ray turned away to pack the gifts he bought and Fraser scurried out of bed and dressed hurriedly.
"Ray..." Fraser tried again, once Ray was packed and finished doing a final check on the room.
"What?!" Ray whirled, glaring.
"I just wanted to say goodbye." Fraser said quietly. "I'll miss you." That was the understatement of the year.
Ray's expression didn't change, but something in his eyes touched Fraser to the heart. Fear, sorrow, guilt and confusion.
Fraser walked over to the door, then turned and kissed Ray tenderly. After a very short pause, Ray kissed him back, without the stormy passion he had always displayed before.
Then Fraser left, without turning back. Ray watched him leave, then closed his eyes to force back the tears that suddenly prickled behind his eyelids.
Fraser's day did not improve. As soon as he got to work, he was called into Neilson's office.
"Ma'am?" He stood straight at attention. She looked at him and sighed.
"Constable, was it really necessary to make out behind the Supreme Court last night? When Tobin was on duty?"
Fraser blushed. Neilson half smiled.
"And if you had to do it outdoors, couldn't you have waited until Thursday and gone to Major's Hill Park instead, like everybody else?" She continued. "Your personal life is none of my business, but please be more careful in future. Especially if Tobin is around."
"Ma'am..." Fraser stuttered.
"I don't want to hear it, Constable. I've already heard much more than I care to from Constable Tobin." She quirked an eyebrow at him. "Just cut down on the public displays of affection, that's all. Dismissed."
Fraser fled. Tobin wasn't a bad sort, nor did he think that Tobin was likely to gossip, but he was such a stickler for rules.
"Oh, dear." He said to himself. He didn't think he was an expecially impulsive person, but over the last four days he had managed to completely screw up his relationship with Ray and to inadvertantly announce this newly found love to his superior officer and to the only Mountie he had ever met who could quote the rulebook faster and more accurately than he could. None of this mattered to him half so much as the ache in his heart and the emptiness in his soul.
Ray watched his nieces and nephews running riot over the back garden. They were a little disappointed to have Uncle Ray decline to play with them, as he usually did.
Francesca came out with lemonade and handed a glass to her brother. He took it with a brief smile, then went back to his thoughts.
He's been acting real quiet since he got back from Canada, she thought. He never gets quiet unless there's something really serious bothering him. And I'll bet a hundred bucks that it's got something to do with Fraser.
She sat on the step beside him, tucking her short skirt under her carefully. Then she stared at Ray until he was forced to look at her. His hazel-green eyes, his only inheritance from their father, met her brown ones.
"What's wrong, Ray?"
"What makes you think anything is wrong?" He replied belligerently. Francesca just kept looking at him calmly.
"'Cause you didn't yell when I borrowed your car when you were gone. And you didn't make any nasty remarks about the outfit I was wearing yesterday. And you ate my eggplant cassarole last night without making any faces or gagging noises. You haven't made my life miserable for a week and I want to know why."
Ray searched his sister's face for any signs of sarcasm. He found none. Her jaw worked at a bit of gum, but her eyes never
left his face.
"I thought you deserved a break. Makes you nervous."
"Yeah, it does. It means you're hurting over something."
"Frannie, I appreciate your concern..."
"No, you don't." Francesca interrupted him. "You want me to go away and shut up. But I can't do that."
"Why not? I mean, other than the fact that I've never known you to go away when I wanted you to and you can't shut up if you were gagged."
"I care about you. Weird as that sounds, Ray, I do love you." Francesca paused for a moment, then added quietly. "It's Fraser, isn't it?"
Ray winced. He tended to forget that, under the scatterbrained, man hungry exterior, his sister had brains and her deductive skills were almost as good as his.
"It is, isn't it?" She said quietly. "Something happened between you two, didn't it?"
Ray looked away, rubbing his hand over his face and head.
"Ray." Francesca took his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her. He saw nothing but sympathy in her expression. "Ray, I can only think of two things that would have you so down. Did Fraser blow you off?"
"What?" Ray snapped, pulling away. It was an unfortunate choice of words on her part, considering the hot memories he had of Fraser's mouth on him. He blushed.
"Or did he tell you that he loves you?" Francesca continued. "He does, you know."
"You know?" Ray's eyes grew wide.
"Yeah. I noticed it a while ago. It's hard to miss when you know what you're looking for."
"And you still chased him?"
"Yeah. I knew it was hopeless. That's how I knew how he felt about you. He used to get the same look about you I got about him."
"Then why...?"
"Why did I keep making passes at him?" Francesca looked away. "At first I thought that he might be interested. After all, it takes him ages to get to the point about anything. Later, I kept on because he was safe. I don't think you realised how badly that jerk I married hurt me. It was nice to be able to feel sexy and take chances without being afraid. It would have been nicer if it had worked, but..." She spread her hands expressively.
Ray said nothing, but he put his arm around her. She leaned on his shoulder.
"So what happened?"
"What do you mean?"
"Don't play dumb, Ray. Did Fraser tell you he loved you?"
"Yeah." It was a relief to admit it.
"And..?"
"And what?"
"And what else?"
"Wadda ya mean, what else? Does there have to be an else?"
"Yes." Francesca straightened. "Did he kiss you? Did you go to bed with him?"
"What happened between me and Fraser is none of your damn business."
"So you did." Francesca sounded triumphant. "I knew it."
"Doesn't that bother you? Me, making out with a guy you've had the hots for for years?" Ray fought to keep his voice down.
"No. But it sure the hell bothers you." Francesca replied. "Why does it bother you so much, Ray? Nobody here has to know, if that's what you're worried about."
"That's not what's bothering me."
"You're in love with him, then. Missing him."
"No." Ray said firmly, then his shoulders slumped. "Yes. I don't know. Oh, God, Frannie, I don't know how I feel. I've been trying to figure that out since the first time..."
"First time?" Francesca raised her eyebrows. "So this wasn't a one night stand?"
"No. Somehow we ended up... together... the first night I got there. And every night after that..." Ray said, hesitantly, wonder why he was telling this to his baby sister. Francesca just sat there, listening with her full attention. "During the day, it was like it never happened. We were friends, nothing more."
"Did you want it to be more?"
"No!"
"Did he?"
"Oh, yeah." Ray sighed. "What am I gonna do, Frannie? This is driving me nuts."
"I know what you aren't going to do." Francesca stated. "You aren't gonna tell Ma."
"Tell Ma? Are you crazy? She'd throw me out."
"No, she wouldn't. This is your house, remember? She'll just worry herself sick, wondering where she went wrong."
"Oh, God, the 'I'm such a bad mother' speech." Ray groaned. "I'd rather be shot than face that."
"Me, too. Look, Ray, if you need to talk, I'm willing to listen."
"Thanks, Frannie."
Inspector Thatcher glanced at the tall, ramrod straight constable in front of her. She decided she could ignore him for exactly another thirty five seconds.
"Who did you annoy this time, Fraser?" She asked, without looking up.
"Sir?"
"You must have annoyed somebody. Otherwise, you'd still be in Ottawa. Did you irritate Captain Neilson?"
"I don't think so, Sir."
"Mm. She must be a saint." Thatcher commented idly.
"Well, whatever you did, it isn't on your official record. You've worked here before in exactly this position. Dismissed."
"Sir?"
"Fraser. You know what your job is. Go and do it."
"Understood."
Fraser went to his new/old office and sat down with decidedly mixed feelings. He had been sent on a punishment post. Again. Granted, his actions on Canada Day were somewhat unprofessional, but he had been off duty and out of uniform. Captain Neilson hadn't seemed upset about it, but perhaps Tobin had forced her hand.
Being back in Chicago wasn't exactly punishment, either. He could cope with Chicago now. He had friends - well, aquaintances - and he had his old apartment back. It was fortunate timing that the apartment became available just as he returned. The old tenent had suddenly vacated, leaving behind an assortment of reasonably good quality small appliances. Dennis seemed grateful for his showing up just in time to take the apartment.
And Ray was here. He decided finally that, even if Ray didn't love him, he would accept whatever role Ray wanted him to play in his life. Friend, lover, sex partner, professional partner. Whatever Ray wanted, he'd gratefully be.
Ray had been perfectly honest with him. He could not, in all conscience, be angry that Ray did not return his feelings. All he could do was return the favour of honesty and tell Ray what he felt and they could work from there.
Ray waded through the mountain of paperwork with a reluctance that he was not shy about expressing. He cursed the typewriter thoroughly and with heartfelt conviction.
"It hates me, Elaine." He said mournfully. "It has a personal grudge against me and it's punishing me."
"I'd hate you, too, if you pounded on me like that."
"If I pounded on you like that, you'd tear my lungs out."
"Too true." Elaine agreed and went back to her desk. While he continued to curse at the machine while he got the keys stuck yet again, she watched him.
She wasn't sure if his vacation had been a good or a bad thing. He said nothing about it, which was usually a bad sign. Yet he wasn't being bad tempered. Well, no more than usual, she amended. His work wasn't suffering. He was still a good cop, passionate about justice and impatient with the bureaucratic red tape. He was just a bit off, she decided. He seemed to be missing some of the energy he usually brought to work. He had been somewhat subdued when Fraser went back to Canada, but it was normal to be a bit depressed when a close friend moves away. Now, he was even more subdued, but he didn't seem depressed.
Ray is a funny bundle of contradictions, she thought. I just wish he didn't look quite so sad sometimes.
Fraser had been back in Chicago for nearly two weeks and he still hadn't gotten up the courage to contact Ray. After the fifteenth time he picked up the phone at the Consulate and put it down again, Thatcher stalked into his office.
"Would you please stop doing that?"
"Doing what, Sir?"
"Picking up the phone and putting it down again. You've been tying up line two for most of the morning. Either make that call or don't. Just stop picking up the line." She turned on her heel and left.
Fraser picked up the line and dialled the number he had memorised so long ago, glad for Thatcher's order. Now he had to call, whether he wanted to or not.
"Vecchio."
"Ah. Ray?"
"Yeah?" Ray sounded distracted. "Benny?"
"Yes, Ray. It's me."
"Is everything okay, Benny?"
"Yes. Fine."
"Benny, this is long distance. To a cell phone. It's probably the most expensive way to call me. What do you want?"
"I, uh, wanted to let you know I'm back in Chicago."
"Oh." Ray's voice went quiet. "You here on a case?"
"No. I've been transferred back." Fraser heard an odd noise. "Ray? Ray?" Ray had hung up on him.
Ray sat at his desk and stared at his cell phone. His hand began to shake and he felt sick. He put the phone back into his pocket and stood up. Picking up his jacket, he went to leave.
"Vecchio." Welsh's voice. Ray ignored it and kept moving toward the door.
"Vecchio." Welsh repeated. "Where do you think you're going?"
"I have to check on something." Ray turned and replied.
"You look like shit, Vecchio. Check out whatever it is you need to look into and go home." Welsh was appalled at how grey Ray's face had become.
Ray went home. He drove very carefully, observing all the traffic rules. It was positively amazing how many of them he remembered. Fraser used to remind him all the time.
Francesca was on the phone when he came in. She took one glance at her brother's face and cut short her conversation.
"What is it, Ray? You sick?"
"Benny's back in Chicago." His voice was flat.
"Why?"
"'Cause he's on a campaign to completely screw up my life." Ray snarled. "It isn't enough that he's ruined most of my wardrobe, or that he destroyed my car, or that he got me into some of the weirdest fucking situations that nearly go me killed. Now he has to come back to Chicago to haunt me." He shot up the stairs to his room, leaving Francesca openmouthed.
Quick as a flash, she ran up the stairs.
"Ray." She hammered on the door. "RAY!"
"Go to hell, Frannie."
She thought for a moment, then pursed her lips. Pulling a hairpin out of her hair, she picked the lock.
"How'd you get in here?" Ray snapped at her. She held up the pin in triumph.
"You shouldn't have taught me how to pick locks, Ray." She said calmly. "All right, you got some decisions to make and you better start making 'em."
"Go to hell."
"You said that already." Francesca said tartly. "Whether I go to hell or not, you gotta deal with this."
"It's none of your business."
"Like hell it isn't. Look at you. You're shaking and you look like somebody dipped you in grey paint."
Ray just looked out the window, leaning on the windowsill.
"Look, Ray, take this thing one step at a time." Francesca said softly. "You still want to be friends with Fraser?"
"It's not that simple, Frannie."
"Make it that simple, Ray. Do you want Fraser completely out of your life?"
"No..." Ray turned to her. "Fraser wants..."
"Never mind what he wants. Right now, I wanna know what you want."
"I want my friend back."
"Okay, you got that part figured out. Now figure out if you want anything else and if so, what."
"That's the whole problem, Frannie, I don't know."
"Not good enough, Ray."
"What do you mean, not good enough? It's all I got."
"No, it isn't. Ray, you're driving yourself crazy."
"Yeah, and that's something else Fraser's doin' to me."
"You're doing it to yourself. Okay, okay, I'm going. But if Fraser comes knocking on the door, I'll let him in. If you can't decide what's gonna happen, I'm sure he can."
Franscesa left reluctantly. Ray was tying himself in knots and there wasn't anything she could do about it.
"Take it one step at a time." Ray said to himself. "Okay, let's try that." He started to pace, talking aloud.
"I like you, Benny. I wanna be friends, you know, like we used to be. I also want to..." He shut his eyes and took a deep breath. "I also want to... Okay, I want to keep on with... you know... sex." There, he said it.
"But I don't wanna be your boyfriend or lover or whatever you wanna call it." It all came out in a rush. "I don't want you depending on me like that." Before he could change his mind, he grabbed his car keys and left. Suddenly he knew exactly what to tell Benny, exactly what he had been struggling with for so long.
Fraser put his stetson on his head, running his hand along the brim briefly. Thatcher sent him home an hour after the phone call. He had been sitting at the desk, staring at the phone blankly, without realising that time was passing. Thatcher, striding past, told him that she wasn't going to pay him for hours spent doing nothing.
He paused on the steps of the consulate, waiting for Diefenbaker to do his business.
"Dief, no. Not on Turnbull's boots..." Fraser groaned. Diefenbaker had been misbehaving ever since they left Canada. He seemed to relish being back in the United States, being able to figuratively thumb his nose at proper behaviour. Of course, Dief never had been all that concerned with proper behaviour, but Fraser had taught him better.
With a glance at Turnbull, who had not even blinked at Dief's gesture, he began to walk. It felt odd, as it had for the last two weeks, not to have a green Riviera pull up and hear...
"Hey, Benny, want a ride home?"
"Ray!" Fraser stopped and turned. Ray was right there, in his beloved Riv, leaning over to open the door.
"Get in, Fraser."
"Why, thank you kindly, Ray." Fraser let Dief in and got in himself.
"Where are you living now?"
"The same old place, Ray. It suddenly became vacant. Dennis was most kind in letting me move in right away."
"Yeah, right." Ray muttered. He suspected that the previous tenent had been given a certain lack of notice as soon as the landlord knew that a certain Mountie was back in town.
"Ray, why did you hang up on me earlier?"
"It's a long story." Ray said tiredly, then flashed a grin. "It takes exactly two hours to tell."
Fraser gave a smile, simply because it seemed to be expected. He looked at Ray carefully, not quite sure what this
was all about. Ray was acting and looking normal, but there was a very thick tension in the air. Dief whined slightly, his fur bristling.
"And what is your problem, furface?" Ray asked, over his shoulder.
The ride to Fraser's apartment was silent, as was the trip up the stairs. Fraser waited for some sort of ascerbic comment as they ascended. It didn't seem right not to have Ray make some disparaging remark; he always did. Ray said nothing until he pushed the door open.
"Geez, Benny, when are you gonna get a lock for that door?"
"Since there was still no lock when I moved in, I assumed that the apartment is every bit as safe as it was when I lived here before."
"As if that means much." Ray replied. "So tell me, Fraser. Did you come back to Chicago to annoy me or did you piss somebody off again?"
"Ah. The latter, I think. Captain Neilson transferred me. Which is her right. I was only on probation in Ottawa. I would have had to have been there six months before the posting would be considered permanent. Normally, a posting is considered permanent from the date of the original transfer in, but guarding the Parliament Hill runs under slightly different rules, since it is under several police jusidictions." As he talked, he removed his tunic and began to roll up his sleeves.
"I see. So what's been going on between you and me had nothing to do with it."
"No. Well, actually, I could have protested the transfer, since no reason was given for it, but I chose not to. I really didn't mind coming back to Chicago. That does have to do with you."
"I see."
"Ray, I am so sorry I made you uncomfortable." Fraser began.
"Yeah, well you should be." Ray replied promptly. "You really screwed up my life this time. I didn't think anything could top shooting me, but this did."
"Then why are you here, Ray?" Fraser looked puzzled. "You could simply have ignored me."
"No, I couldn't, Benny. You are impossible to ignore. Trust me on that one." Ray countered. "Benny, are we still friends? I mean, real friends, like we were before?"
"Yes, of course, Ray."
"Then why did you kiss me? Was that a friendly gesture that just went too far?"
"No. I kissed you because I wanted to. Then I realised that I love you."
"And there is the problem. I don't mind you kissing me, but I don't want you to love me."
Fraser looked stunned. He had expected Ray to tell him that he didn't love him. But why didn't Ray want his love?
"But why...?"
"Fraser, I don't know how many relationships you've had, but I've had plenty and none of them have worked out. I don't want to be responsible for your happiness. I had that responsibilty with Angie and I ended up hurting her. And resenting her for being hurt and resenting myself for resenting her and so on."
"But..." Fraser tried to interrupt, but Ray kept talking.
"I know you. I watched you and Victoria. I saw the way she manipulated you and how you just took it, without protest. 'Cause you loved her. And the Dragon Lady. You could have had something with her, but you put her on a pedestal a mile high and you just took whatever shit she'd dish out. And now you tell me you love me. And out comes the pedestal."
"I don't put people on pedestals, Ray."
"Oh, yes, you do, Fraser. I've watched you do it. How long is it gonna take before you put me on that pedestal that Victoria and Thatcher stood on? Well, I got news for you. I don't want to be there. If you want my friendship, great. I want that, too. If you want to me in bed, that's fine, too."
"Ray... That's fine. If that is what you want..."
"See?" Ray shouted at him. "That is exactly what I am referring to. Whatever I want, you'll go along with, no protest. You'll accept whatever limits I set and never mind what you want. After a while, you'll resent me for those limits and I'll resent you resenting me and it's over. You lose your lover, I lose my friend and that's it."
"Ray, it doesn't have to be that way. I confess, I would like something more than friendship from you. I... I've never had a real relationship, Ray. I had hoped that we could... we did... have one."
"Fraser, we do. I just don't want to screw that up by bringing love into it. I like living at home. I don't want to move in with you, or go around holding hands or anything like that."
"Neither do I, Ray." Fraser said simply.
"You mean you don't want to live with me or do the whole gay lifestyle thing?" Ray asked, startled.
"No. You need to be around your family. I need to be alone sometimes. We would need time apart from each other anyway. After all, if you and I were to share an apartment, I'd provoke you into doing something unpleasant to me." Fraser answered.
"And why would I want to change my lifestyle to emulate a rather alien culture?"
"Then what do you want?"
"You."
With a slow, sexy smile, Fraser wrapped his arms around Ray and kissed him. Ray felt those firm lips on his own and opened his mouth, his tongue meeting with Fraser's, battling in erotic circles. Fraser undid Ray's tie and tossed it over his shoulder. Then he unbutton the linen shirt, baring Ray's chest. He bent to capture one nipple between his lips, suckling, nipping gently with his teeth, while Ray struggled to get his arms out of the shirt.
"Damn French cuffs..." Finally, the cufflinks bounced on the tile and Ray was bare to the waist. As soon as his hands were free, Ray undid Fraser's shirt, slipping the suspenders off his shoulders. Fraser kept teasing the nipple, making Ray moan.
"God, Benny, that feels great..." Ray sighed as Fraser's fingers began to caress the other nipple, bringing it to a hard, tight point.
Fraser kissed his way back up Ray's chest and captured his lips again. As he thrust his tongue into Ray's mouth, his fingers were busy at the catch of Ray's pants. He unfastened them and pushed the pants and underwear off with the same motion. Ray cooperated by stepping out of the pool of fabic and slipping his shoes off. With one toe, he hooked his socks off and finally stood naked in Fraser's arms.
Fraser broke off the kiss and stepped back a pace to admire the view. Ray was beautiful, he thought. The slim, long legged beauty of the man took his breath away. With hands suddenly funbling in haste, he stripped off his jodhpurs, forgetting entirely about the boots.
"Damn..." Fraser swore. Ray, grinning, bent to help. Fraser allowed him to help undo the boots, since it gave him a wonderful view of Ray's ass, which was, in his opinion, the nicest he'd ever had the chance to admire.
Once they were both naked, Fraser reached for his friend, holding his very close. Unlike their other encounters, there was no sense of urgency, no grand passion. He ran his hand over Ray's body, finding the cock that was only partly erect.
Ray felt a warm hand on his cock, grasping him firmly and gasped. He felt the beginnings of arousal. Not the sudden aching he had felt before, but a slow, inexorable rise of passion.
He captured Fraser's mouth with his, kissing him deeply, running his hands over Fraser's back and ass. Fraser responded by movinghis hand and pressing himself to that warm body. Ray was pushed back against the counter as Fraser kissed him all over his face.
"I love you... love...you..." Fraser repeated over and over, punctuating each word with a kiss. He ended the litany with a deep, tongue filled kiss on Ray's mouth.
Fraser's erection felt like a rod of fire against Ray's belly, hot and hard.
"Benny... fuck me... I want you inside me..." Ray whispered. Fraser heard the coarse words and felt himself grow hot. And harder.
"Let's get to bed..."
"No. Here." Ray insisted. With the sinuous grace Fraser so admired, he turned and leaned his hands on the counter.
"Ray, I have some..." With a kiss on the back of Ray's neck, he started to leave.
"No, Benny." Ray ordered softly. "Now. I want you right now."
Wrapping his arms tightly around Ray's slender waist, Fraser rubbed his cock in the cleft of Ray's ass.
"Oh, yeah, Benny..." Ray purred. "That's it... " His head fell back on Fraser's shoulder as Fraser lunged and penetrated him.
Fraser leaned into Ray, panting, and rested for a moment, buried deep inside his lover. He was afraid to move until he got himself a bit more under control. He didn't want to come yet; he wanted this moment to last. After a moment or two, he started to move, slowly. His hands crept up to play with Ray's nipples, pinching and stroking them, every now and then dropping to stroke Ray's now rock hard cock. Ray responded with inarticulate moans.
"God, you feel good inside me." Ray murmured. "Hard and hot..."
Fraser heard the words and took a deep breath. He wasn't sure if Ray knew just how much the words turned him on. He loved to hear Ray's voice, soft and hoarse with lust, using words that he himself never used.
"Benny... harder..."
Fraser moved faster, spurred on by Ray's request and his own desire. He was afraid of hurting Ray, but Ray kept urging him on softly, telling him to thrust harder, faster...
Fraser arched back suddenly, his nails scraping painfully across Ray's chest, drawing blood. He made no sound, but he stiffened as he ejaculated. He leaned limply on Ray for a moment.
Ray straightened a little, enough to take the arms that surrounded him again and hold them close to him. God, that felt good. The scratches on his chest stung and his ass hurt
slightly, but that simply heightened the pleasure.
After a moment or two, Fraser slowly withdrew, aware and ashamed that he had taken his pleasure and Ray had not. His hand drifted to caress Ray's shaft, which was still hard.
"Ray..." he whispered. With a kiss, he turned Ray to face him. Gently he bent and licked the few drops of blood, his tongue bathing the scratches he had inflicted. Dropping to his knees, he took Ray into his mouth, licking and kissing and sucking.
All through the thorough fucking, Ray had been in a holding pattern of pleasure. He had been on a plateau of lust, not ready to come, but the feel of Fraser's hot, wet mouth on him pushed him over the edge and he felt the orgasm hit him like a tidal wave.
After a shared sponge bath, they snuggled into bed together. The bed was small, and Fraser was not, so it was a tight fit.
"Good thing Dief doesn't want in." Ray commented. "By the way, where is he?"
Fraser lifted his head reluctantly from his examination of the juncture of Ray's neck and shoulder.
"He's under the window, ignoring us." Fraser said idly. "Ray, are you sure you want to be here?"
Ray heard the uncertainty in Fraser's voice and sighed.
"Yes, I'm sure. Have you ever known me to be shy about telling you when I object to something?"
"No."
"Then if I don't wanna be here, I'll tell you, okay?"
"Earlier you said you didn't want a relationship with me."
"Benny. I said I don't want a love type relationship with you. Or with anybody. I don't want hearts and flowers and mushy stuff. All I want is you. As my friend."
"And lover?"
"And lover." Ray squirmed a bit to get comfortable. "As long as you don't try to put me on some stupid pedestal, I'm right where I want to be."
"I don't want you on a pedestal, Ray. It would be terribly cramped. This bed is bad enough."
"Go to sleep, Benny."
"Goodnight, Ray. I love you."
Fraser settled down to sleep, drowsy. He had not quite dropped off when he heard Ray wish him a good night.
"Sweet dreams, Benny." Ray paused, then added. "I love you, too."
END
-- Adrienne ar895@freenet.carleton.ca