Disclaimer- Not mine, wish they were. Not making any cash. Haven't
got any cash. Please don't sue me. I have given this an R rating
purely for language. (i.e. I have used the F word a couple of times).
This is the 8th part in my 'Whether or Not' Series which is now complete.
There have apartently been one or two problems with this series in
the past but as you can see I have linked all of the previous parts from
here. If, however, you have any trouble finding any part of this
saga please do not hesitate to contact me via email (click on authors
name to send if you have a decent browser alternatively manual emails
to vicki@telinco.co.uk) Also I love comments, and eagerly await the
day that some one gives me some constructive criticism. (Not got any
yet...everyone is so nice... go pick me up on my bad spelling/grammar
you know you want to.)
Notes:- The light fluffy, fairy tale ending....
Ben hurried through the back door, apologising as he went. "Anna,
I'm sorry I'm late, Ray came into the office and we got talking ... I
lost track of time, I'm sorry." "Ben, you're five minutes early, did
you run all the way home?" "Well not all the way.. Well yes actually."
"Sit down, I've just made a pot of tea, you've got to learn to relax.
It's not as if I have a social life, if you were half an hour late, the
world wouldn't end." "Oh, you're very kind."
"Here's your tea, lemon, and three sugars."
"Thank you kindly, I don't know how I'd cope without you."
Two months had passed since Ben had found Tor at the cabin. Neither
of them had contacted each other since. As far as Ben was concerned there
was nothing more to say. "Daddy!" Beth rushed through the door and
took a running leap at her father, who only just managed to catch her.
"Beth, it's good to see you! How's your little sister."
"She's good... She cried this afternoon..."
"Well that's what babies do."
"I know, I just wish she didn't do it at night."
"Shall we go and see her?"
"Uh hu." Beth took Ben's hand and dragged him up the stairs... "I'll
be going then," Anna shouted after them.
"Thank you kindly, Anna, same time tomorrow?"
"No problems. Bye."
"Bye."
***
Ben hurried through the back door, apologising as he went. "Anna,
I'm sorry I'm late, Ray came into the office and we got talking ... I
lost track of time, I'm sorry... Victoria!" Anna quietly slipped out
the back door, and away to her waiting car. "Hello Ben." Tor was sat,
nursing a mug at the corner of the kitchen table. "When did you get
back to Chicago."
"Three weeks ago."
"Well, why are you he... why didn't you come and s..."
"I had to do something before I came home Ben."
"What could be more important than your family."
"Getting well Ben, I checked myself into the hospital."
"You were ill?"
"In a manner of speaking yes."
"Well what was... I mean..."
"Ever heard of post natal depression, Ben."
"I have hea... Ohmigod... I never thought.... Is that why you ...
is that ... ohmigod... I'm so sorry.." "For what?"
"I didn't realise... all those things I said..."
"Ben, that was the most alive I've ever seen you. It was the kick
in the pants I needed. If you could shout at me like that I must have
got through all the walls you put up... It was the biggest compliment
you could have given me. I mean I cried for two days straight but that
made me see that I really needed help. Prozac's wonderful stuff." "If
I'd known...
"You'd have been your usual wonderful self. Would you please stop
apologising.. that's what I should be doing. I want to explain something
to you. The reason I left you in the lurch. You said I was selfish. I
have to get it across to you that myself couldn't have been further from
my mind. The morning before I left, I was sat all alone in the nursery.
I looked down at our new child who was crying. I looked at her, cradled
her, tried to feed her, burp her, I changed her diaper, nothing worked
she just kept crying... she wouldn't stop, the noise echoed round my
head. I was so mad with her. I lifted her from the crib and was going
to... Ben I was going to hit her... something deep inside me held me
back and I put her down and ran from the room...and I knew, I knew at
that moment I had to get out. And soon. Ben I could never have forgiven
myself if I'd hit our baby. And how could I explain to you, how I felt...
I mean, saying 'why yes Ben, all I can think of doing is throwing our
daughter against a wall, maybe that will shut her up' was just not going
to cut it." "And now?"
"Now, good question. I'm taking the medication, and I'm not right
Ben, I'm not me. But I have more control. I won't hurt her... I promise."
"I believe you. Just promise me one thing."
"Name it."
"Next time you feel like that."
"There isn't going to be a next time."
"That maybe so, but if there is, promise me you won't run off, you'll
tell me. I love you Tor, I always have. If you can't say that stuff to
me then who can you say it to. So promise me you'll tell me." "I will,
I promise. See I told you."
"Told me what?"
"That you were the perfect husband."
"Well maybe I am 'practically perfect.'"
"Yes, Mary Poppins, Practically perfect in every way."
Ben laughed. "Now I know someone whose been dying to see you since
you left." "Beth?"
"Beth... BETH there's someone here to see you."
Beth tore down the stairs. "Who?... Mummy.."
"Hello Beth. Do I get a hug?"
The little girl rushed into her mother's arms and wrapped her own
round her waist. Ben lifted Lottie into his arms. "I missed you Mummy."
"I missed you too sweetheart, I missed you too."
**THE END**
Did I mention I love comments??
There are two alternate endings to the series.
Somewhere under the Sun by Vicki