This is the latest installment of the Ben and Monica stories. All characters belong solely and happily to Alliance and the writers of our beloved DS! Except for the obvious ones. Much thanks again to Alliance for letting us play around with them. PS, we all really miss new episodes of DS and our hearts are heavy while you are not in production. The standard disclaimer applies here.
This story involves m/f interaction. It is a love story
by L.Ross
The room to the nursery was lit low and soft. The walls were painted in a sand color. A border with dark green moose and red maple leaves lined the top of the room. In one corner of the room was a beautiful oak crib adorned with dark green and black gingham ruffle and bumper pad. Above the crib hung a mobile which Monica had made to match the border. Against one wall was a changing table and dresser. On top of the dresser was a small lamp and several stuffed toy moose. Ben walked around the room holding his new born son. He swayed the infant back and forth with slow gentle movements. As he slowly walked around the the room he softly sang an old song. One he was told, by his grandmother, that his mother sang to him. He kissed his son on the forehead and held his tiny hand between his fingers. He moved to the huge oak rocking chair he had specially made for Monica. Slowly he sat down and began to rock the infant all the while singing the old melody. It was times like this, Monica wished she could freeze time and keep this moment forever. Monica looked in the room quietly. She didn't want to interrupt. She smiled as her heart filled with joy and her eyes with tears.
The warm gentle feeling of Ben's lips kissing her neck and his strong arms wrapped around her waist brought Monica back to reality. She now looked into the room with a different view. It was not as in her daydream, only filled with boxes and no curtains hung over the windows. She smiled and moved her head towards his. He kissed her cheek and then took her earlobe inbetween his teeth. Gently he nibbled them. He held her tighter, bringing her closer to him. She could feel him . Feel his heart beating and his desire also. He whispered in her ear. She smiled and shook her head no.
"What are you doing?" he continued
"Oh, nothing. Just thinking, that's all." she said as she looked around the empty room. "Just thinking." she sighed
"Aah, well here's something you can think about." he said as he kissed her neck again
"And what might that be Constable?" she answered as she moved her hands behind her and placed them on his bottom
"Would you like to join me in the shower before I have to leave?" he asked her as he rocked her back and forth
"You know Ben. I really wish you didn't have to go tonight. I want you to stay here with me." she said as she broke from his hold
"I know. But I have......" he began
"To go, you have to go. I know, duty calls." she said as she moved down the hall toward their bedroom.
"Monica..... what's troubling you? You have been acting strange all day. You know that you can tell me anything." he said as he grabbed her hand and pulled her back into his arms.
"It's nothing Ben. I don't know....it's just.....I have this .....never mind it's silly." she couldn't explain to him her feelings because she didn't understand them herself.
"If it is troubling you then you have to tell me. Let me help. I won't think it is silly either....I promise." he looked down into her eyes as he raised her head with his hand on her chin.
" I have this feeling. It's a feeling like something bad is just about to happen.....to you." she said
"Me!... Nothing bad is going to happen to me. Besides I can deflect anything that comes my way. You know this is true. Anyway you can't get rid of me that easily." he said with a smile and a wink of his eye.
"If it does I promise I'll kill you, understand?" she said seriously
" Understood. ...... Now, how about the shower. After all I might slip and crack my hea......." he stopped as he saw the look coming from Monica. He knew he had over stepped his joke. "Oh, dear....... I was only joking......... . Let's go." he continued as he took her by the hand and headed down the hall.
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The beads of warm water hit Monica's back and ran down her like a water fall. She tilted her head slightly back letting the water soak her long dark hair. She momentarily forgot her feelings of worry. She couldn't concentrate on anything but Fraser and what he was doing. Surely she was just over reacting and there was nothing to worry about. His kisses were strong enough to wipe any memory of anything from her mind. She was totally under his control. Her sense of reason went right out the door when she was with him. But she didn't mind, because he never asked or expected anything from her. This made it just that much more easier to love him. Ben kissed her chin and then her lips. She placed her arms around his neck. Then he placed shampoo in his hands. He lathered up her hair and let his soapy hands slide down her back slowly. Monica moved her wet body even closer to his until she had no trouble feeling his firmness. He kissed her hard on the mouth. Longing to taste her, to have her. Heat raced through his body and his motions quickened. His hands roamed over her body , Exploring every part as if this was the first time. All he could think about was how much he needed her and loved her. How empty his life had been before her. They turned in the shower as they passionately kissed. They held each other tightly and close to one another. As they turned the water cascaded off them and steam filled the room. Now it was Monica's turn for exploration. She took the soap in her hand and lathered his back. She dropped the soap on the shower floor as she began to caress his back. She moved her hands slowly in front to his broad chest and shoulders. Their passion for each other mounted. Not one word had been spoken by either of them. No words were required for they both knew what was in the others heart. The only sounds made were slow soft moans that were released as the passion accelerated. Fraser turned Monica to face the wall. He began lathering the front of her body. Moving himself closer. Gently he slid her up. She stood on the tips of her toes as he entered her. She moaned loudly as her hands reached high on the shower wall. Fraser continued to kiss her on her neck as he held her close.
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The night air was cold and crisp. The ground was covered with a light blanket of snow. Fog covered the windows of the 72' Riviera. The two law enforcement companions sat watching their breath in the cold. They both had come to the same conclusion. That was, that stakeouts aren't as glamourous as people thought them to be. Especially on cold winter nights like this. Ray wiped the fog from the front windshield so that they could see out.
"So, Benny, when are you going to ask her?" Ray asked as he lifted the small box from Ben's hand, opening it to look at the beautiful diamond ring.
"I thought tomorrow night, perhaps." he replied "I'm just not sure how I am going to do it. I want this to be something she will remember forever. It has to be .......perfect. Aah....I do have something to ask you....would you be my best man, Ray?" he said with a smile.
"Me?! Yea, sure....I'd like that Benny. Thanks......Best man, huh?" Ray was smiling and shaking his head
"Best man. Thank you kindly, Ray. " Ben continued after a short pause " I have to admit, Ray......I'm some what nervous about all this. Things have just taken a rather sharp turn.....suddenly.....I mean.....don't misunderstand, Ray....I love Monica and I know that this is the right thing to do.....about the baby and everything.....And I do want to spend the rest of my life with her. Never before have I felt happier. " he said some what confused and muddled
" Then what's the problem Benny? I mean she's a great girl and she loves you. I mean anyone can see that you two belong together. It's almost...... sickening when the two of you are together." he said . Then seeing the bewildered look on Fraser's face he quickly added " In a nice way and all I mean. I'll tell you something Benny, you're a lucky man. A love like this doesn't come around for a person twice. So take my advice and don't blow this, man. I messed up bad with Irene and now I can never have that feeling again, you know?"
"Yes, Ray...... I understand what you are saying......Thank you." he said as he patted his friend on the shoulder.
The two faced out the windshield and waited....and waited...... and waited into the the night... in silence. Ben knew that Ray was being a good friend. But Ray couldn't know, couldn't understand his fears. After all he was having a difficult time putting them into perspective himself. He knew what he was doing was right. He knew with out any doubt that Monica was the woman for him. He now realized that his feelings for Victoria were very much misplaced. He had learned from Monica and her family that true love doesn't have such a high cost. He learned that true love doesn't mean hurt or fear. True love means ..respect...safety.... trust. But most of all it means happiness. A happiness that up until now had been unknown to him. Watching them showed him a life that he had always dreamed of. Yet still all his years of being alone......no it was losing his mother at such a young age that had truly molded his life. Having his father gone all the time. He felt resentful towards him for that. Deep down he blamed him. This was his real *fear*. His fear was that he would be unable to change his course in life. After all everyone always said how very much like his father he was. He couldn't be,wouldn't allow the same thing to happen between he and Monica. But especially between he and their child. A man's past can certainly keep him from things he truly desires. Ben was now realizing this.
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The phone was ringing as Monica fumbled with the keys. Why was it always when you had an arm full of things and were standing just outside the door did this happen? Finally she opened the door, as the third ring ended. The answering machine came on as she dropped the bags, her purse and the keys. It was Ben! She dove onto the couch and grabbed the phone.
"Hi, it's me." she said out of breath " I just got in from having lunch with Lorna and Ashley. How's your day going?"
"Not as interesting as yours. I can assure you that. How are you feeling? Still sick to your stomach?" he inquired
"No, not right now, but I'm sure it will return. I am a little bit tired though." she replied as she kicked off her shoes
"Not too tired to go out tonight I hope?!" he asked
"Oh....I don't know Fraser. Maybe we can just stay in tonight?" she said
"No!, I'm afraid that won't do! I have something special planned for tonight. And I won't take no for an answer. Alright then! I want you to wear my favorite dress, please and I'll pick you up at 7:30 pm." he said firmly
"Oh really! My..... aren't we getting bossy." she said sarcastically
"Oh, dear. Did that sound bossy? I'm sorr..." he started
"Fraser!" she piped in " Relax...it's OK you can be bossy and firm from time to time......in moderation that is......Anyway what dress are you talking about?"
"The black one." he answered
"Fraser, I have four black dresses. Could you be a little bit more explicit, please."
"Alright. The one you wore for my birthday dinner." he smiled as he thought back to that night "You remember don't you?"
"Oh.....that one. " she too was smiling as she remembered that dinner! " Sure, I can handle that!"
"I hope you can!" he said devilishly
"Ooooh, Fraser!" she said as she wondered what he was up to
"7:30 sharp! Bye. Oh and Monica....I love you." he said
"You better......I love you too. Bye" she said
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It was 7:15pm and Monica was still not ready! She heard Ben come in the front door as she placed her ear ring on. Quickly she ran the brush through her hair and blotted her lipstick on a piece of paper. She turned off the light to the bathroom as Fraser called for her. As he entered the bedroom she slipped on her shoes. Monica looked up at Fraser and smiled. How she loved the way he looked in his red dress uniform. Red was definitely his color! He stood in the doorway shaking his head and smiling. He did so like that dress on her! It fit her body like a glove. His stomach was turning round and round as he placed his hand in his pocket to feel the small box. He was not going to let his fears interfere with his emotions anymore. Everything had to be perfect tonight! Looking deep into Monica's sky blue eyes, he knew it would be. Now if he could just not freeze up when *that* moment came.
" I'm ready, you handsome looking slab of Canadian bacon, you. You look good enough to eat!" she said as she kissed his lips
"Oh, dear, ooooh dear." he said with a smile as he turned off the light to the bedroom
"So where exactly is it we are going, constable? she asked taking his arm as they walked down the hall
"You'll see.......you'll see." he said very mysteriously "Close your eyes and no peeking."
"WOW!" she said excitedly
"Give me your hands and I'll guide you. Remember No peeking."
"OK, OK, no peeking! I promise. I love surprises!"
Fraser carefully led Monica out the door. Stopping on the porch, he let go of her hands and told her to open her eyes.
"Your carriage awaits my lady." he said as he bowed and extended his arm forth towards the white carriage
"Benton Fraser!"
He took her hand once more and helped her down the stairs and into the carriage. Dief was sitting high next to the driver, Sam. They had come to know Sam. Fraser often took Monica on these carriage rides. But never before had she been picked up at her house. Fraser sat next to Monica, putting his arm around her shoulder and drawing her near to him. Gladly she snuggled next to him, feeling safe, protected and very warm. The carriage took off and headed for the park.
"It's freezing Ben."
"Oh, I'm sorry. Here's a blanket." he placed a wool blanket over the two of them " That better?"
"Thanks........This is really crazy and off the wall to be riding a carriage on a cold night like tonight...but I like it!
"I'm glad. You know Monica I owe you alot....I mean, you've taught me alot of things...about enjoying life and *letting go*. I've spent most of my life living in the confines of a strict code. A code that I placed for myself when I was very young. Never allowing myself to cross over it. Never daring to be emotionally free. I'm not saying that I am. But I'm learning. And that is because of you. You are the one who has shown me how to love and be loved. Unconditionally, to be true to my feelings and to let the fear go. I have to be honest with you. These past months with you I have felt like a new person. I am also scared...... about the future. I want very much to be the kind of father that our baby deserves. More important than that is.....well....I mean.. you....you....you aren't going to help out at all here are you?"
He was drowning and he knew it! He looked at Monica as he continued to fumble all his thoughts into words. He paused looking to her to throw him a life line. But Monica sat back and smiled.
"Not a chance mountie! You are going to have to do this all on your own, mister!"
Fraser cleared his throat. He knelt down on one knee as he took the ring from his pocket. The air was indeed cold and his breath was like steam coming from a run away train headed straight for a cliff. He cleared his throat again and swallowed hard. Taking her left hand in his he looked helplessly in her eyes. She never wavered. She just patiently sat waiting. She would wait as long as it took.
"Sam!" he cried in a cracked voice
"Sorry Fraser, you are on your own, buddy!"
"Oh, dear!" he swallowed again closing his eyes. When he opened them he smiled shyly " Miss McKinnon, I was wondering...hoping? that you would do me the.... I promise to spend.....spend ...." he stopped and looked down running his thumb over his eyebrow. His tongue nervously racing from one side of his lower lip to the other. Monica almost took pity on him but she refrained. Finally the words where there. He had no fear. He was convicted. He looked up at his love.
" Monica, I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy. If you will say *yes* I would be honored to marry you."
He did it! That wasn't as difficult as he thought! Alright, yes it was. That had been the most difficult thing he had ever had to do. He was proud of this accomplishment, no, he meant milestone! He smiled and took a deep breath of relief. That actually felt rather good! But wait, she was just looking at him. Why hadn't she said yes! Could it be that she didn't want to marry him?! He hadn't thought about that! What if she said *no*?! Fear raced through his entire body once again. Had he miscalculated?! She sat back and put her hand on her chin. This was not a good sign! He held his breath.
"Could you give me just a moment, please"
His eyes widened and he felt as if he was in a plane that was twirling to the ground at top speed!
"I'd like to confer with my associate for a moment. Dief."
She looked at the wolf who had jumped to the seat across from theirs. Fraser was frozen, still on one knee. He looked at Monica, then Sam and finally Dief. So this is what it all came down to. His entire future and happiness relied solely on the decision of a wolf! A very opinionated wolf at that!
Wolf sounds
"Yes, Dief I know he can be. But we have to remember all his other qualities too."
More wolf sounds and growls
"Well who else is going to help him from himself if we don't? I know, I know your right."
Wolf finishes with his input
"Ok, I will." she giggles "I wish I had a camera! You should see the look on your face, mountie!"
Taking his face in her hands, Monica moved in close to kiss him softly on the lips. Tenderly she whispered to him.
"Constable Benton Fraser, I promise that I will now and forever be your mate, your love.....your eternal companion. I will spend the rest of *my* life making sure that you are the happiest man on earth. Because *you* deserve it. You have earned it with a life time of pain and loneliness. I love you, Ben, more than I had ever thought I could ever love someone. I know you have concerns about your mom and dad's relationship. But I know you. I know your heart. You will not be the same, we will not be the same....... So to answer you question, Yes! Yes, I will marry you."
They smiled at each other. Fraser got off his knee and sat down next to Monica. She crawled into his lap and he placed the blanket over them. The carriage moved out of the park and down the street. Monica wrapped her arms around Ben's neck. Her childhood dreams had come true she was marrying *Prince Charming*! As the carriage moved on she began to hum a tune from Disney's *Cinderella*. It had always been her theme song when she felt sad. The song was about dreams. Dreams being the wish that a heart makes. And now the one wish of her heart was coming true. Into the cold night they rode on, just holding on to each other. Words for them were not always needed, or wanted. Sometimes less is good!
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This story as well as, True Nature of Love, It Happened One Spring Night and Tales...Part one are copyrighted by Laura Ross 1996
E-mail: Lross960@aol.com