M/M NC-17 Author's note: This story takes place shortly after the completion of Benny and Ray's Journey from Chicago to Ottawa, after the death of their second child, Caroline. Their son, Fraser Metcalfe Vecchio is six years old.

Thanks to Adrienne for the tour of Benny's Capitol, Ottawa. Any deviations that remain between the physical reality of that city and my story are purely fictional license. Thanks to my favorite librarian, Jeannie Marie for sharing her friendship and encouragement. Thanks to Dave for sharing my rantings and flag waving. Thanks to R~ for shared kvetching. Thanks to my own DM, Del, for all the rest.

"So I'm half torn between being offended that Gary doesn't feel a need to grab his "gay basher alert whistle", march in the streets beating a drum screaming about people who aren't "gay sensitive" and stuck with this uneasy sense that I need to be glad he isn't."

Ray sipped at his coffee then leaned back against one of the wooden benches that dotted the edge of the quiet Ottawa park. They were in the heart of the neighborhood that Ottawans called the Glebe. Fraser was halfway across the park. All of twenty yards. Ray relaxed. "I don't know. Benny wouldn't have been offended by any remark enough to march in the street." He recalled the one time Fraser ever took up a picket sign was to save an old dilapidated apartment building, to save homes of people who could ill afford to move.

"Yeah but he's Canadian," Robby answered with a dismissive wave.

For a moment Ray was distracted by the limp wristed movement. Robby rarely did anything that Ray would outwardly catalogue as a gay gesture. He smiled. That was his own prejudice, that image that every gay man was a limp wristed queen with a squeaky lisp and a prissy walk. Boy, wouldn't Robby be offended if Ray mentioned that. Or would he? Knowing Robby as well as he'd come to over the past two months Ray forced himself to reassess that assumption.

"What did the guy say?" Ray smiled. Fraser and Robby's boy had finally gotten their kite aloft. There just wasn't enough of a good steady breeze here in Ottawa like there had been in Chicago. After the boys were occupied the two fathers had stepped to the chip wagon to buy their usual drinks.

"Some silly remark. Honestly, I'm not going to repeat it. I have no intention of belaboring it another minute. I feel like I'm beating a dead horse."

"Okay. But if you want to I'll listen." He watched Robby check for the boys then recognized that proud smile that flashed across his friend's face. "Fraser's so happy here in Ottawa. He's learning all kinds of things about Benny's homeland. His homeland too. I tend to forget that my boy's half Canadian."

Robby's eyebrows shot up. "With that big gorgeous hunk of a hundred percent Canadian Mountie in bed next to you every night? Shame on you."

"Ga!" Ray exclaimed with a little laugh, "no need to show off your national pride to me. I'm convinced. I love Canada, all right?"

"Yeah? You've been here what . . . almost three months already and I bet you can't even describe the nation's flag!"

"Oh come on, Robby," Ray bantered back. "The red and white thing with the leaf in the middle? How complicated is that?"

Robby glared in mock severity. "What kind of leaf?"

"Well it ain't oak! Oh, remind me sometime when we're all four together to tell you about Benny's almost-tattoo. Okay," he said after he saw that Robby wasn't going to relent. "Maple! Does that prove I love Canada? I swear I'm full of remorse over forgetting that Fraser's got Canadian citizenship."

"All right. But just you don't let it happen again." Robby's glare stayed firmly in place.

"Then tell me what got you so upset about that anti-gay remark."

The mock severity turned into a grimace then Robby set his coffee cup down on the bench and leaned back alongside Ray to watch their son's kite flying antics. "It was the fact that this guy has always been such a staunch supporter of gay rights. I mean for a straight man," he qualified. "He's just someone that I didn't figure I'd ever need to educate, you know? I didn't ever expect to have to tell him that a cutting remark, at any gay person's expense wasn't funny."

"Mmm. I can understand that. Like, you weren't expecting it. It hit you out of the blue."

"Oh, exactly. Snuck up behind me and whapped me in the back of the head is what it did. But I really should let it go. No use worrying at it like a dog with a bone."

Ray was more than glad to let the subject drop. He'd been living with a man for, what? Over six years! He shook his head as he watched Fraser jumping under the trailing kite. He'd lived as an openly gay man for all of Fraser's life and yet he really knew nothing of the things Robby was talking about. Gay whistles? What the hell were they? Something pink with sparkles on them? Jeeze. He shook his head again.

Their social life, his and Benny's had never really been all that active. They didn't go out partying with the boys before they were lovers and certainly hadn't felt the need to start doing so after the big change. They'd been too damned busy raising a son and making a home together. And it hadn't seemed important. Finding a church where they could sit together and hold hands if they wanted too had seemed enough. They'd never once participated in any of the congregation's outside activities. No potluck suppers, no day trips or group get-togethers of any kind. None of it had appealed to Ray and he really hadn't bothered to find out if Benny was interested in any of that stuff.

They'd gone out to dinner with Huey and a couple of the other detectives from the two seven on certain special occasions as was the custom. Everybody celebrated promotions or closing of particularly big cases. That hadn't changed. But they hadn't started living what Ray always envisioned as a "gay lifestyle".

And frankly he hadn't spent one single second analyzing why after a life time of dating women he had ended up with Benny. Denial, fear or whatever, he really didn't want to think about it.

"You know what I mean. You must have gone through similar things when you came out to your family. Or were you always out?" Robby asked.

"Not really always out. Actually Benny's the first guy I ever dated. And we didn't really date so much as fall into a relationship. We were best friends," Ray said with a proud smile.

Robby looked surprised. "You were best friends with a gay man and you just fell into a relationship? Come on. That doesn't really happen. That old myth about gay men going around seducing straight men. I mean where's the good in that? Unless all you're after is the short thrill of a little forbidden sex and there's no way that kind of sex could possibly be consistently satisfying. It just doesn't happen."

Instantly he felt a flash of defensiveness burn a blush across his cheeks. "It wasn't the sex and Benny didn't seduce me."

"Then what were you doing hanging around . . . becoming best friends with a gay man?"

"I became Benny's friend because of who he was, not what he was. I was dating women at the time. I didn't give a shit about whether he was gay or straight or bi or whatever. I just didn't think about it."

"Okay. Sorry," Robby said as he turned and patted Ray's hand.

Ray didn't flinch away. They were three blocks from Bank street, two blocks from the apartment. Basically in the heart of Ottawa's gay neighborhood. Men were everywhere holding hands, sharing the occasional brief kiss. Public displays of affection. PDA. Another new phrase he'd learned. It was accepted and safe here. Yeah, this wasn't Castro district in San Francisco but the Glebe was almost as far as Castro was from Benny's first neighborhood in Chicago. He was safe. More importantly Fraser was safe here living with two gay dads. Though Ray still had no recollection of the beating that had almost killed him, that had scared Benny into nightmares for months after Ray had left the hospital, he was all too aware of what gay bashers could cost his family. He remembered the days and nights he'd spent in a Chicago hotel while Benny searched for a new place for them to live. He remembered the terror, the night sweats, and then there were the scars on his own body. Some of the scars were still there and would be there forever.

"Still," Robby added, "your Mountie is such a . . . poster-boy for-"

"Poster-boy for Mounties?" Ray interjected. "I think that's what you were gonna say. Wasn't it?"

"Poster-boy. Uh huh." Robby grinned, matching Ray's malevolent glee. "For . . . Mounties. Uh huh."

"I thought you were." Ray relaxed against the bench back, his face covered in a smug expression.

"Though I can see you have some issues to work on," Robby said softly. "All right, I'm not going to push it." He sipped at his cooling coffee.

Ray finished his caffeine drink and began to fidget. "Issues. Probably. But frankly I'm barely to the point where I can see a baby and not fall apart." Robby covered his hand again. Ray still didn't pull away. It was funny how fast he and Robby had become friends. Gary had so much more in common with Ray's childhood and upbringing than the red haired man beside him. But both coming from big families, Robby and Ray seemed to have more future goals in common. Robby wanted more children. He and Gary were on two adoption lists and were still trying to find a willing female who would help them give their son a sibling. So far they hadn't found anyone who meshed with them and their goals.

Ray understood Robby's desire.

During that crappy move from Chicago to Ottawa Benny had stopped at Robby and Gary's bed and breakfast, a six hour drive from Ottawa. The place had been a harbor of peace in what seemed to Ray like a sea of hate during those awful days. And they'd stayed the night, gotten to know the two men and gotten some excellent guidance from them. Gary, a native Ottawan was in the middle of selling the bed and breakfast to move his family back to his home town. Ray had been shocked and really happy for Fraser when the couple had called them at their new apartment in Ottawa a week later to say the bed and breakfast was going through closure with the real estate agent. Gary and Robby now lived in a two story brownstone less than a mile from he and Benny. Best of all Fraser now had a friend with a similar home life.

"I can't see starting in on trying to figure out where my standing in any gay community would be," Ray finally continued when the tightness in his throat had eased.

"You still haven't started going to the church?"

"Not yet. Maybe this Sunday." But Ray knew it wouldn't be this Sunday. He'd already made preliminary plans for a family outing to the hill around the Parliament buildings. They'd be out in the sun all day, go across the river - a short walk across the bridge - to the Musee du Civilisation in Hull, have a picnic and maybe fly Fraser's new cloth kite. The one with dual controls. It was tricky; their one attempt with it so far had been a complete failure. Ray smiled.

"Well, I guess we house-husbands better get our asses in gear," Robby said with a long suffering sigh. "Garry'll be home in a little over an hour and I have to add vegetables to the roast I left in the oven."

Ray looked more than a little alarmed as he stood with his friend. "House-husband. Jeeze. I gotta get a job."

"Here? Being the Mountie's spouse you have landed immigrant status so you can have a permit to work but what would you do in Canada? Can you practice law enforcement here?" Robby led the way across the park.

There were no cars in sight, just slow moving pedestrians and an occasional bicycler. It was a very quiet neighborhood in the middle of a weekday afternoon. There really were very few children in the neighborhood. "I could do something like security guard probably. I need to look into it. I need to be doing something again."

Fraser saw them coming and was reeling in the kite as the two men joined their sons. "Ready to head home, Fraser?" Ray adjusted his son's cap, making sure his fair skin was shielded from the sun as much as possible. The little boy smiled up at him, cheeks round, eyes china blue. Ray took off the cap and ruffled his curly hair then put the cap back in place.

It took two weeks for Ray to find a job that would allow him the freedom of being home in the afternoons when Fraser got out of school. Much to his dismay he couldn't carry a gun in Canada. That left out the type of job he'd have preferred. But he did luck onto a security firm that was looking for an information specialist.

Ray managed a half smile as he worked with his partner to get dinner on the table after his first day at work. Benny watched him like a hawk.

"Honest, all I'm gonna be doing is looking stuff up in phone books, check reports filed by their field investigators, mostly the same stuff I'd be doing back in Chicago if I were stuck on desk duty." Ray laid three plates on the table then got out a heat absorption pad for the stew pot.

Ben hefted the stainless steel pan onto the table, mindful of the little boy who was doing his part, putting out the deep bowls. Ray added fresh baked cornbread to the fare and they were all seated. "I don't have concerns about your duties, Ray," Ben objected, "it's just that I think it's too soon . . . "

"For what?" Fraser asked. "Too soon for what, Dad? It's not too soon from when I go to school in the mornings. I'm not gonna make Daddy late for work. I promise. And I wait for him at the school inside the boundary of the sidewalk. It's not too soon. Is it, Daddy? I stay inside the sidewalk boundary if your ever late. I promise."

"No, Fraser," Ben answered calmly among the boy's myriad of statements and questions. "I'm referring to-"

"Don't worry about it, baby," Ray interrupted, giving his partner a warning glare as he stroked his son's head. "I know you'll wait for either me or Dad to pick you up. Everything's fine."

Ben lifted his eyebrows and returned Ray's stare but with a slight look of alarm, not of disapproval. "Later," he mouthed sternly and didn't relent when Ray visibly slumped.

The later that he insisted on turned out to be two hours later when they were alone in bed that night. Fraser had taken all of Ben's extra energy after the meal, needing assistance to complete a paper collage project for school. Ray had stayed completely out of the project. That had made Ben very apprehensive.

"It's not too soon, Benny. I'll be fine. It's four hours a day for Christ's sake." Ray slumped against the headboard, his pajama top misbuttoned, a hardback novel held loosely in his hands as he watched the Mountie undress.

"This is a clerking position? Are you sure it's something you want to do? It doesn't sound very rewarding, Ray."

"It'll keep me up to date on things. I'll even pick up some computer skills. What's wrong with that?"

With a grimace the Mountie relented. "Nothing is wrong with it Ray, I just . . . worry for you. I don't want anything making demands on you before your fully able to cope." Naked, he climbed in under the sheet and too many layers of blankets Ray insisted on. With no hesitation he kissed Ray's mouth lightly. "It's perfectly acceptable for me to worry about you, isn't it? Perfectly normal."

"Yes." Ray didn't quite pull away. He did stiffen and that showed his unease. He needed Benny's approval right now. He recognized that to a degree Benny was right. Ray was still too vulnerable. "It's a good place though. Run by nice people. They do missing persons, some insurance investigating, that sort of thing. I'll just be verifying facts, filing paperwork, stuff like that."

"I see." Finally the Mountie relaxed against Ray. "It will be good. It'll keep you busy, right? That's what you're thinking."

Ray chuckled and hugged him. "You're reading my mind now? We've been living together so long you can read my mind?" Before answering Ben kissed Ray's parted lips. "I could read your mind long before we began co-habitating."

"Oh yeah? Like for instance?"

"For instance, what?" Ben draped his right arm over Ray's stomach pulling him closer.

"That was an opening for you to fill in the blank, Benny. You're supposed to supply the time you read my mind before we became lovers."

"Oh." Ben's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Well. Ah. I have it. Remember the time Ian McDonald came to town seeking help in locating his missing fiancee?"

Ray's mouth flattened into a stern grimace. "Yeah," he said cautiously.

"I read your mind in the precinct hallway when I was trying to tell you he was there. I read your thoughts. You wanted to choke him to death."

Instantly the grimace melted. "You got me there, lover. I did certainly have that thought. And I'd have succeeded too if you hadn't pulled me off him." Ray gave his lover a mock strangle then proceeded to kiss and suck at each spot he'd gripped. Where there were no red spots from finger marks there were now from love bites. The Mountie grew hard. Ray moved down his body and with no preamble, just confident movements sucked him off.

Ben laid back, arms wide, legs spread. With small grunts he had a gentle orgasm, quiet and soft not because he was afraid of being overheard by the sleeping boy in the next room, but because the contrast, the difference of hard fast sex was all the more exciting when they had these quiet times. Ray swallowed his cum. "Why do you like to do that so much, Ray?"

With a mouth-clearing last swallow Ray squirmed his way back up his lover's body. "Do what? Suck you off? I dunno." He settled in to his favorite position, right hand over Benny's waist, left shoulder tucked under the Mountie's right armpit and his head on that smooth chest. "It's just so different I guess. You know some time ago Robby said something that really got to me. He was talking about someone saying something insensitive toward gay people. It got me thinking. I used to say a lot of things to you."

"Yes. You had to. I couldn't read your mind all the time."

Ray swatted him. "I'm being serious here, Benny. You remember when we were looking for Mike's house for that guy in the mental institution? We were riding on the bus and talking about Tai Babalonia and I said something about wishing all men would stop figure skating. That was really lousy of me. I could see that I'd hurt your feelings."

"How could you see that? You were reading my mind?"

"Benny, serious here," Ray protested. He shifted up on his left elbow so he could look down into his lover's face. "If I said something about Canadians being so polite they were easy marks you'd give me a lecture. If I rattled on about those people on West Racine deserving to live in a flea trap you'd give me an hour long lecture or quote some Inuit story at me and set me straight in a second. But when I'd make some remark about seeing two guys holding hands or something about a stereotypically gay thing like men figure skating or something you'd go totally silent. I knew what I said was hurtful. I knew."

"It's all right-"

"Robby wouldn't have stood for it for a second. Neither would Gary. How come you did? I remember when Eric was in town I was careful. You know when we were in the car I did say one thing," Ray smiled and fidgeted. His gaze dropped from Benny's face to the man's chest. He began toying with a nipple.

"The remark about neither of us knowing how to show women a good time," Fraser replied.

"Yeah. I coulda fallen through the floorboard of the car when that left my mouth. Jeeze," he softly swore. "And Eric let it roll off. I figured he didn't know that I knew. I mean if you hadn't told me I'da never guessed he was gay-"

"Bisexual," Fraser interrupted. He smiled at Ray when the man jerked his gaze back up to meet him.

"Well, okay. Bi. But you, I mean . . . What was I talking about?"

"Robby."

"Yeah. He'd never have sat still for that. He'd have told me to shove it."

"He'd have politely informed you that your comments were offensive to him. But only if you were someone he cared about, someone he considers a friend. He doesn't spend his whole life educating people about being sensitive to gay issues."

"And you?" Ray asked. "You don't either."

"I'm not what you'd term a gay activist in the least bit."

"But you are gay," Ray said with a questioning tone in his voice.

"Yes. In that I'm emotionally attracted to and sexually excited by men. Yes."

"Just men."

"Yes."

"But not always. I mean you weren't always this way."

Ben shrugged. "You're asking, in a very round about way I might add, about Meg and about Victoria?"

"I think so. Yeah. For the first time in our lives, yeah. I'm asking."

"Yes."

"Yes?" Ray sat up. "What does, yes mean?"

"It means I was aroused when I was in bed with Victoria. Aroused in a sexual way. And with Inspector Thatcher in a romantic way."

"So you weren't just gay back then," Ray raised one eyebrow, stating it almost as a challenge.

"I was for a short time in my life attracted to two women, attracted to qualities I perceived, real or imagined, in them. I have not since then been attracted in a sexual way to another woman. I'm gay. By a strict definition I'm gay. Does that help?"

"No. Not really," Ray said frankly.

"Why not?" Ben sat up and scooted back to lean on the headboard. "Is it because you're trying to define yourself in the light of your relation with . . . Agent Cortez?"

Ray stared down at his pajama clad legs. "With Caroline's mother. No, it's not that. I'm . . . " he glanced up at his lover, "I'm bi. I get turned on when some young chick in a tight skirt walks by." He grinned when Benny did.

"And when you're sitting at a sidewalk café with Robby and he points out some exceedingly healthy and muscular young man? One with jeans that are constricting his . . . crotch?"

Ray gave a toothy grin in response. "I look. And how do you know he does that?"

"Oh please, Ray."

The disgusted tone reminded Ray of the time Fraser had taken up duty as a prison librarian. He was describing some book by . . . Proust? One long sentence of overly something or other stuck up literature. "I'm so in love with you," he blurted out.

"Then it doesn't matter what we choose to label ourselves, does it?" Ben laid his hands heavily on Ray's shoulders. "I'm just as deeply in love with you, you know."

"I know. I'm just trying to figure some things out is all. Robby thinks labels need to be clear, that gay men need to stand up for themselves. I'm just trying to decide if I need to be standing up too."

Fraser pulled Ray into another embrace. "You need to be taking care of yourself, not worrying about things that-Ray, imagine Fraser came home from school and said something similar about a school chum. What would you tell him?"

"I wouldn't say that old line about if your friend jumped off the empire state building would you do it too. I hated that kind of logic when I was a kid. I'm just trying to figure things out. I'm just trying to get a grip. And I thought one thing I need to explore is this. And you're right," said as he held a hand up to stop his lover, "I'm listening to Robby and repeating what he says. Fine and dandy. But Benny, I'm concerned about this stuff. One thing I wanna say is that I'm sorry I said some of the things I did, like the figure skating remark and the thing with Eric and the Chicago guide book."

"You didn't mean that remark as hurtfu-"

Ray clamped the raised hand over Benny's lips. "You're supposed to nod or say okay or yes, Ray. You're supposed to accept what I say, give me some validation and then we move on. That's how it's done. Got that?"

Ben, his mouth still covered slowly nodded his eyes crinkled up as he smiled. When Ray released him he attacked the man. Ray's loud squeals of mock protest did reach through the walls. A small knock, emanating from about three feet off the floor on their locked bedroom door interrupted the Mountie's frontal attack. With a ripped pajama top in one hand and a hard Italian cock in the other he froze.

"We'll not go home ourselves until we have exhausted every possible avenue, sir."

Ray stood in the door way of the agency's glassed-in private office. The spacious room at his back held five desks besides the receptionists round counter near the main entrance. He shifted his hold on the stack of manila folders and waited till Jean Lilly, the active partner of Lilly and Cross Investigations met his gaze. The client was sobbing. Ray swallowed and took a step back. Everyone in the office knew why the man, Mr. Peters was there. He was a cabinet minister who's child had been kidnapped from her own home. It had made the Ontario papers two days ago. The regional police had absolutely no leads on the six year old girl's whereabouts and he'd used his clout to pull the RCMP in on the investigation. Now he was here seeking more help.

Jean stood, leaving Mr. Peters alone and closed the glass door as she stepped to Ray's side. The two field investigators had been summoned in and waited perched on a desk. The other three researchers, those who did the same work Ray did joined Jean and the two men. "You'll start on the scene, Larry. I know the police and RCMP have been over it with magnifying glasses but go again. She turned to the other man, "Get over to Parkway, check what the RCMP have so far. Peters has assured their cooperation with our efforts." She continued handing out assignments.

Ray found himself with the onerous task of compiling newspaper clippings on the event. He swore under his breath as he turned to the job. What a waste of his abilities. He should call Benny-No. He should head over to the school and check on Fraser. Hell, he should do his job then get to the school on time before the dismissal bell. Shit, he didn't want to see Mr. Peters' face again. If Benny heard the agency was working on this case he'd probably show up and drag Ray out the door. Oh, wouldn't that go over well! Ray glanced down at the watch he'd bought down on the boulevard on that last day he and Robby had been house-husbands together. It had a triangular shaped rainbow symbol behind the dial. Gay pride. A little subtle statement. Benny dragging him out of here wouldn't be so subtle, would it?

Ray began downloading articles from the net at the same time he was searching the agency's stack of local and district newspapers. Every bit of reference to the child's disappearance needed to be available for the investigators to go over when they returned to the office. He imagined Jean really meant it when she said they wouldn't go home until some kind of lead broke. She'd sleep on the couch in that glassed-in office. The field operatives would work around the clock. The clerical staff would probably work in shifts. Ray expected to take his turn at after-hour's work. Benny would be home to be with Fraser.

He found a glut of articles and Xeroxed them, bound them by publication date into a notebook and had it ready for Jean before the evening editions were delivered. It wasn't hard to pull the new articles out. There were only two. Three days and the child's disappearance was already too old to sell papers. He read the articles again and saw the pattern clearly enough. It wasn't a ransom case. Peters would have been told that by the RCMP by now. "Jean," he formed a careful request, "I've done some missing child work back in Chicago. Maybe I could . . . "

"You're not licensed to do field work here, Ray." She shook her head and patted his sleeve as she took the new Xeroxed articles. "But you could be a damned valuable resource to us here in the office. Can you come back after dinner tonight? I'm not going to close the office."

"Yeah. I'll feed my family then be back."

"Okay. I appreciate it."

Ray left a few minutes early. He waited outside his son's school for an hour, almost went in to get him out early, steeled his impatient nerves and held on until the bell rang. Fraser came running out, his face glowing with happiness. Ray scooped him up and smothered him with kisses. Of course the boy objected but the objection was mild. He had an art project to show off to his father. Ray praised the little clay sculpture all the way home.

Benny was late getting home and Ray had already fed Fraser and called the office to say he'd be in as soon as he could. Jean was appreciative and told him there'd been no breaks in the case. Ray hung up the wall mounted phone and was standing there, his forehead resting on the handset when Benny walked in the door. Fraser greeted his father with his usual enthusiasm, showing off the clay sculpture and basking in more praise for his work.

Ray rewarmed a plate of food for his lover while Fraser was settled in front of the television with Dief. The wolf was content to sleep while the boy watched his daily ration of the Disney channel.

Ben stepped into the small kitchen and pulled Ray into a hug. "I heard." After a moment of silence he continued. "Your agency is going to take on the Peters case. Mr. Peters has lost hope that we'll dig up any new leads. Ray, I think you should ask for time off."

"Time off," Ray objected as he pushed out of Benny's embrace. "I've only been there three weeks and you want me to ask for time off? How would that look? Like I'm so fragile I can't even do clerical work in connection with-Did you know that's all my boss will let me do? I could be out there helping. I know I don't have any jurisdiction here but hell, when did that ever stop you?"

"Calm down-" Ben tried to pull him back into a hug.

"I don't want to calm down Benny! I don't need to calm down. I've been so calm the past three months it's like I haven't been alive. I've been sitting in the sun with Robby, baking cookies with Fraser, walking Dief more than he can half stand-I need to get on with my life. And why would Jean insist I stay in the office? She knows my police background. Unless . . . did you talk to my boss? Did you call her and tell her about the baby? Is Jean expecting me to fall apart or something?"

"No, Ray," Ben had raised his voice, using a harsh tone. Both men turned to the living room door. Fraser was engrossed in his television program. Dief swiveled his snout to regard them solemnly then turned back to rest his muzzle on the boy's shoes.

Ray took a deep breath. "I'm going back in to the office. I'll be there 'till someone comes in to relieve me. We're working around the clock on this, trying to gather information, get up to speed on it."

After a moment of regarding him solemnly Ben tried for a hug again. This time Ray complied. "Okay. I'd appreciate a call when you're ready to leave for home though."

Ray laid his head on his lover's shoulder and kissed his neck. "You'll be laying in bed in the dark staring at the ceiling, won't you?"

"Most likely." Ben chuckled. "I can't sleep without you beside me. When did that development occur?"

"I dunno. But it's nice. We're like an old married couple."

"I never expected it."

"Neither did I. Robby says-" Ray bit his lip then laughed. "Okay. I've got to break that habit immediately. No more Robby says. But he's right about a lot of things I've always taken for granted between you and me. We kinda started off backwards you know. We got the kid then we kinda dated sorta around him for a few days, then were living together all overnight. Not the best way to start a relationship."

Ben held him even closer. "I don't want to think about it but I know Fraser is what brought you and I together in an intimate way. I can't perceive of it ever happening otherwise."

"Yeah. Well that's because of me I think. You? You're just plain old comfortable with yourself. I mean gay or straight or whatever. But me?" Ray shrugged as he straightened up. He watched Ben's hands smooth the button placard of his shirt. That was the Mountie's way of seeing him off to work way back during their life in Chicago. Benny would straighten his tie or adjust his collar. Pick lint off him. "I'll be fine, lover. You get some sleep. I'm gonna sleep in tomorrow cause it's your day off. You and our boy can have, Gary calls it a lad's day out?"

"Very British expression. We'll just do that, Ray. A lad's day out. Let you get some sleep."

After a long passion-filled kiss Ray was gone. Ben ate as he watched his son watching television then puttered around as Fraser played in the bath tub. There was a little laundry to do, some dishes and newspapers to be bundled for recycling. It was calming to perform these routine tasks. He'd always taken pleasure in things perceived as women's work, ironing, cleaning. Probably his grandmother's influence. He smiled as he thought of what his dad would have said to that.

The boy was sound asleep and Ben stared at the bedroom ceiling. Dief circled on the bed on Ray's side then lay down. For a moment Ben thought of making the wolf get down. Ray used to get awfully upset about Dief on the bed. He'd bought the wolf a dog bed which until last winter Dief had totally ignored. He was getting old. For a wolf he was pretty advanced in years and a soft bed finally felt good to him. Ben rolled onto his side and studied the framed pictures on the dresser. An hour later he turned out the lamp.

"It's a complicated case, Diefenbaker. I doubt if it'll be solved. Most certainly not solved to a satisfactory conclusion." Ben stared at the dancing tree limb shadows on the ceiling. It was windy tonight. "I don't believe the little girl will be found alive. It's a horrible fact to face. I don't want Ray dealing with it. And he'll know. By morning Ray will have reviewed all the reports, all the evidence on the case and know this isn't a case of kidnapping for ransom. The man took the child for other reasons. At this late date she won't be found alive, Dief. We've done everything we can. Every Constable in the district was alerted to the case, given the facts as they were uncovered. The pattern is too plain and when Ray comes home he's going to know it." Ben shifted on the bed, eyeing the wolf. "Don't give me that look. It wouldn't have helped if I'd told him that before he left. No. It wouldn't have. He's a grown man, a police detective and a darned good one. He needed to make the deductions himself."

Dief whined. Ben couldn't decide if it was in agreement or protest. "He needed to do this on his own. It's time, Dief. He's ready to handle things again."

Ray sank back on the cushioned couch beside Jean who'd slumped against the armrest and fallen asleep. It was easy to fall back into the body's rhythm of grabbing a little rest while waiting for new developments. Staking out a phone, or staking out some dockside Chicago warehouse, it wasn't all that different. He had his hand on the receiver before the first jangle ended. "Lilly and Cross," he said clearly. It was one of the field operatives requesting some information. Ray made a note, put the man on hold and went to the outer office to answer the extension.

"Okay, Larry. I can get you the name of the boat owner in about ten minutes. You wanna hang on or you want I should call you back?" He listened for a moment. "Okay. Is there anything else I can do for you?" It was hard to keep the eagerness from his voice. "Okay." He hung up and began the database search. It was under ten minutes when he had the information. He called Larry's cell phone but got no answer.

"Jean," he called through the doorway, the Riv keys already in his hand, "I can't get through to Larry. He needs this info so I'm heading down to Britannia Bay to the marina to find him. In case he calls . . . " he stuck a note on her door, "there's what he needs. Okay?"

She gave him a sleepy nod then began stretching, stirring herself awake. The wall clock showed it was a little after five in the morning. The city wouldn't quite be coming awake yet itself.

Ray hopped off the last step and unlocked the Riv. Sliding behind the wheel he gave the dash an appreciative swipe of his hand. Ottawa was a good place to drive this baby. The streets were decent and navigation was a breeze here. Heading west he arrived at the marina and spotted Larry's black sedan easily enough. There were very few cars at the main entrance to the wooden planked docks. Ray saw that there was a light on in the tiny office cubicle where marina rental business was conducted. It doubled as the security guard's base. Larry was inside.

"Your cell phone's dead," Ray said in way of a greeting. He handed Larry the information then tried to appear casual as he eyed the old man behind the linoleum counter. As he'd hoped after a nod of thanks Larry resumed his conversation.

"You know this man, this Mr. Jones well? Has he docked his boat here long?"

"Mmm. Not long I'd say. Not long."

"How long?" Larry prompted.

Ray could clearly see the investigator's impatience. Larry fired off another question and Ray could see he would get nowhere. He was just too tired, too impatient. Starting late on a case like this was always tough. You tended to rush through the preliminary fact-finding stage, to try to get some real progress done. And it always came back to cause problems later, such shoddy foundation work.

"I dunno. Not long," the man repeated his answer. "But he ain't on the boat now. Ain't seen him in days."

Larry sighed. "Thanks," he said with a smirk and left with Ray at his side. "The guy's a moron," Larry swore.

"What brought you down here to the water?"

"There was a report of a girl matching the description. It was followed up by RCMP but it seemed odd to me, the paperwork filed on it. I thought it was worth a second look."

"And the boat you wanted researched? You were asking the caretaker about a Mr. Jones. That's not who owned the boat."

"It's a dead lead, Ray. Boat's locked up tight. No lights, no sign of life. I need to get back to RCMP headquarters and see if I can find the police officer who took the initial report at the Peters residence. He's out with the flu."

"Peters was still blowing his nose when he left the office. He have the flu too?" Ray stopped under the glow of the small parking lot's incandescent light.

"I dunno. I'm bushed you know?"

"Who reported seeing the kid here?" Larry flipped open his notebook. "A pharmacist on Carling Avenue. Three blocks away. He delivered an order of over the counter drugs at closing time the day after the girl disappeared. I'll head back to RCMP headquarters. You going back to work or home?"

"If you don't mind I could follow up with your night watchman before I head back to the office," Ray tried for his most unobtrusive pose, just a touch of a smile, a little anticipation. It worked. Larry grinned and told him to go for it. Ray did. He got the information then walked over to Carling to the pharmacy. They wouldn't be open for three more hours. Then he remembered he was supposed to call Benny. He decided to head home instead.

"Mfhhuh?" Ben rolled onto his back and sat up. "Ray, you were supposed to call," he admonished but let the Italian kiss him anyway.

"I didn't come straight from work," Ray explained as he shucked his shoes and clothes, "so I figured it didn't work. Move, fuzz ball." He gently booted Dief off toward his dog bed. The wolf padded out and in a moment Ray heard the springs of their son's bed squeak. Dief had found a more understanding bed mate. "I got two hours till I can do any more work. You wake me if I oversleep?"

"Certainly," Ben sighed the word as he snuggled against his lover. Their bodies went together like two spoons, him nestled at Ray's back.

"Dad?" Fraser whispered as he patted the broad pale shoulder of his father. "Dad? Are you going to make some breakfast?"

Ben loosened his hold on Ray and rolled back to eye his son. "Give me five minutes?" he whispered back and got a grin as his reply. He watched the boy tiptoe from the room, mindful to not wake Ray. With cautious movements Ben backed from the bed and quickly dressed in jeans, tee shirt and tennis shoes. Fraser was waiting at the kitchen table and Ben was startled to see that it was after nine. He'd never slept so late in years. No wonder the boy was starving. "How about you, Dief and I go out for some breakfast? We'll make a whole day of it, okay?"

"Yeah!" Fraser cheered then covered his mouth. He tiptoed off to get dressed. Ben followed him, put him in a similar outfit, adding a hat and jean jacket and they were soon on their way downstairs while Ray got some much needed rest. The local diner was their first stop.

Ray rolled out of bed at eleven, bleary eyed and tasting the plaque in his mouth. "Benny? How come you let me oversleep?" When he got no answer he pulled on a robe and made a quick survey of the apartment. There was a note on the fridge. Ray smiled and shrugged. Yeah. His lover was right. He'd needed the rest and would function much better for it. He padded off to the shower. Thirty minutes later he was at the drug store on Carling Avenue. The pharmacist recalled making the delivery to the boat and seeing a small girl. Ray showed him the photo, not the one from the newspaper but a good quality print her father had provided.

"Yeah. I'm sure that's her, detective. I remember those pretty blue eyes. She was coughing and her eyes were watering something awful. Her father said she had allergies. I said it looked like a little rhinitis to me and asked if she'd seen a physician. He assured me he'd be taking her in to her pediatrician the next day."

"Okay. Did the child say anything to you?" Ray kept the photo in front of the man, hoping to spur his memory.

"No. Not a word. Just kept sniffling. You know rhinitis can be a real problem if it becomes chronic. I could tell the little one was in quite a bit of discomfort. She kept wiping her eyes too. Those pretty blue eyes."

"Did you notice anything else about her? Perhaps any scrapes on her hands as she was wiping her eyes?" he kept prompting. He got every scrap of information on the child, on the man who'd placed the phone order, and then thanked the pharmacist.

At the office he walked in to turn his notes over to Jean. She met him just inside the door. When Ray met her eyes he blanched away. Jean looked horror stricken. "What is it-" he started to question her, not wanting to hear that the child had been found dead. But that would explain her look. He glanced around the office. The other two clerks were standing at their desks staring at him. "What?" Larry came from Jean's office followed by an RCMP officer in a crisp blue uniform.

"Mr. Vecchio?" the Constable asked.

"Is this a jurisdiction problem-" Ray formed the protest, but Jean's face told him it wasn't. He looked at Larry as the man stepped to his side. The Constable was at his other side. "What is it?"

"Mr. Vecchio, there's been an incident. If you'd come with me to headquarters, Constable Fraser's there waiting-"

"Benny's in at work? Why?" Ray pulled back, the notebook still in his hand, he looked from Larry to the Constable. "What kind of an incident? Was Benny hurt or something?"

"Constable Fraser came in to report that his son has been abducted. He sent me to bring you in-"

Ray stepped back against the office door. The notebook fell to the floor as he clutched his hands to his temples. "My boy?" He wasn't sure if he'd shouted or whispered. "My boy? Take me to Benny, now!" he ordered.

The room was nothing like the bullpen back at the twenty-seventh district. Ray refused to allow himself to draw any more inane comparisons, make any more stupid observations. He saw Benny amid the flash of blue uniforms, sitting on the edge of a desk and fairly flew to him. "What happened? What . . ." There was a bandage on his lover's head. He was visibly shaken. Ray timidly touched the white gauze. Benny looked like he had during that disaster of a plane crash, his head wrapped in white, his hair disheveled. But this time he also looked scared.

"We were in the park. I stepped into the restroom and someone clouted me on the head. When I came to there was no sign of Fraser or Dief."

Hearing it from his lover made it real. Ray grabbed Benny and buried his face against the man's shoulder. "I shoulda been there!" he cried, his words muffled by the tee shirt fabric and by Benny's flesh.

"Stop this, Ray. You can't blame yourself---"

"I shoulda been at the park watching out for him instead of-"

"Are you saying that my caution was inadequate?" Ben strong armed him away and shook him. "If it had been you with him instead of me would you have withstood the blow from the pipe any better? Whoever did this knew what they were doing. It wasn't done sloppily."

"A pipe over the head, Benny. You realize . . . "

"Yes. It's the same way Mr. Peters was overpowered in his own home. I had heard the reports on the case as they came in." Ben indicated the other RCMP officers who were trying to give them some privacy in the busy room but still carry on with their work. "We all have heard the basics on the case."

"I was down at the marina on Britannia Bay last night following up on something. A pharmacist reported seeing a little girl when he was making a delivery to one of those yachts moored down there. He ID'd her from the photo I showed him this morning. I was going to give the info to Jean."

"Do you have the address of where he made the delivery?" Ben shifted on the desk taking Ray's hand now and drawing him near again.

"Yeah but it's just one lead among a hundred your guys have already-"

"You felt it significant to follow up on. Ray, you have hunches that work out. What was it this time? Why this one in all those hundred?"

"The officer who took the report from Peters came down with the flu. The kid the pharmacist saw had the flu."

"But they never would have had any contact," Ben objected. "unless . . . Mr. Peters gave it to them both?"

Ray jerked up the phone from the desk Benny sat on, not bothering to ask who's desk, who's phone or if he had permission to use it. He called Jean. She didn't know but she gave him the man's home phone number. "Ray Vecchio. We met yesterday when you were at-yes, I work for Lilly and Cross. At the time of her disappearance did your daughter have a cold or maybe the flu?" He frowned and shook his head as he looked at Benny.

"Does he have the flu?" Ben mouthed the question.

Ray asked it. He nodded. "Came down with it the day after his daughter was taken," he said as he held his hand over the mouthpiece. "He thought it was just the stress. Yes, thank you, Mr. Peters. We'll contact you if there are any new leads."

"We need to get to that boat where the delivery was made." Ray grabbed Benny and hauled him through the throng of police. Ben commandeered an unmarked car, very rapidly, and they were on their way, Ray driving, Ben still dizzy from the blow to his head. "What about Dief? No sign of him when you woke up in the restroom?"

"None. And no blood. I can only guess he was lured away somehow. Fraser was a step behind me going into the restroom, Ray. He's got to have seen the man attack me. He's got to be so frightened right now . . ."

"Lord, I hope so," Ray swore. When he saw Benny's puzzled look he didn't bother to fill in an explanation. If he was frightened then he was alive. If he was frightened then he'd be thinking of ways to stay alive. If he was frightened that meant he was able to think, not drugged, not comatose. Ray prayed as he drove.

Ben pulled at Ray's left arm studying the gay pride watch. "It's been almost an hour since he was taken. Almost an hour."

Ray kept praying. Traffic seemed to be flowing out of his way as he wove from lane to lane. He didn't recall running any traffic lights but he obviously did because he never touched the brake pedal before the parking lot at the marina was in sight.

At the dock he barged into the tiny watchman's hut. There was a different man on duty. He gave the name of the boat owner and flashed Benny's badge. Benny trailed along behind him as Ray marched the watchman outside to point out the correct boat. To Ray's dismay more police were arriving. They had their sirens and lights off but it would complicate things. He'd hoped to storm the boat, just him and Benny. Ray spared his partner a glance. Benny was almost weaving from shock. His head wound had bled through the white bandage.

He let the night watchman go and pushed Benny toward a bench as the officers reached the parking lot. "I'm gonna go down to the boat, just knock on the door, so to speak. You wait here and fill them in," Ray said as he pointed at the RCMP who were only a few feet away now. Then Ray fled. He was unarmed but there were kids on that boat. Maybe kids. Maybe only one kid. Maybe none. Please, God, let me not be too late. He got one foot on the boat rail when Benny was at his side.

"We go together," Ben whispered.

Ray grimaced then nodded. A flank of RCMP were at the end of the dock waiting. For a moment Ray was stunned at their air of cooperation then his attention was back on the boat. It was about twenty eight feet long, an upper deck in the middle and a lower deck aft. A cabin door faced the aft and that's what Ray was going to make for first. The round portals were covered by curtains inside. He stepped onto the lower deck and tried the cabin door handle. As he turned it Ben grabbed him and threw him back.

"Ray! Wire!"

Ray sailed off the side of the boat, falling between it and the dock. An explosion set his ears ringing as he fought against being squashed by the surging yacht and drowned by the sloshing water. He ducked under a pylon and clambered back on to the boat. There had been some kind of bomb wired to explode if the cabin door was opened. Just as there'd been in Drake's apartment all those years ago when he and Benny were searching for the man who shot and killed Bob Fraser.

On the boat now Ray could see Benny was down in the cabin. Ray could hear him frantically calling for their son. Then Ray realized the boat was sinking! He dived for the cabin but could see nothing in the smoke. "Fraser! Benny!"

"Fraser! Son! Where are you?" Ben called out frantically.

Water sloshed around Ray's feet as he heard RCMP on the deck at his back. He began feeling along the walls. He came to a couch built into the wall and stumbled on. There was a door, he jerked it open. A closet! Damn. "Fraser! Benny, have you found anything?"

A dark shape burst from the closet and with a body-slam knocked Ray to his seat. The dark shape looming over him in the smoke. A blur came down at him, a pipe. Suddenly Dief appeared over Ray's shoulder and slammed into the form, a snap of teeth and a snarl blended to one sound. Ray rolled and scrambled to his feet. "Dief! Off!" It was useless to yell commands at a deaf wolf who couldn't see you amid the billowing smoke. Ray lunged at the animal. "Off! What did you do with the kids, you bastard! Tell me or I'll let the wolf tear out your throat!"

The man was howling louder than the wolf ever had. Ray grimaced as he felt blood on the arm he was pinning to the floor. He straddled the man's chest. "Where are they? This boat's sinking. Do you wanna be charged with homicide too? You won't make it! I'll let the wolf tear out your throat just before the boat sinks. You'll drown through the hole in your throat!" He hoped the police behind him wouldn't try to cram into the small space to pull him off the kidnapper.

"Couch," the man gasped. "Locker under it. And . . . forward. Engine compartment."

"Benny! Forward engine compartment!" Ray screamed. "Can you find it? I'll get the kid under the couch!" Benny! Answer me!"

"Go Ray! Get him out from under the couch! I'll get the girl!"

Ray sprang off the kidnapper, not caring if the man did lay there and drown as Dief tore his throat out. He clawed his way back through the totally opaque smoke and found the couch by feel alone. He couldn't call to the officers on deck for help. They'd never find their way amid the smoke and would only block his and Benny's escape route. Then he realized the kidnapper would be in Benny's way but at that moment felt the man stumble past him, Dief growling at him all the way. "Good wolf!" Ray praised the animal as he dug at the cushions. He couldn't find the compartment latch! The front of the couch was now underwater. He squatted in the frigid liquid, searching for a metal latch. It was at the front all the way on the floor! He popped it open and groped inside.

His fingers closed on long hair and he tugged. It was the girl. She fought him and he endured the scratches and kicks to get her up from the water to the dirty air. She gasped and screamed, pummeling him with kicks now.

"I'm a cop!" Ray cried. "Stop fighting me! RCMP!" he tried to get through to her. That worked. That was something she recognized. He got a good grip on her. "Benny! Fraser's in the engine compartment! Benny! Benny!" Ray stumbled toward the exit, going with the smoke. The water was up to his chest by the time he reached the opening. The compartment where Benny was had to be completely under water now. "Dear God," Ray pleaded. He thrust the girl through the opening into the arms of a Constable and turned back. The blackness parted and Fraser's curly head broke above the surface of the water. Ray cried out and grabbed at the boy. He was blue from the cold. Benny clung to their son's legs and Ray hauled them through the exit.

If it hadn't been for the human chain of men in blue stretching from the dock edge to the hatch they would have been sucked down with the boat. Ray clutched Fraser around his chest in an iron grip, Benny by his fingertips but others were there to help him hold on to his family.

Moments later, seated on the dock with Benny half sprawled across his legs Ray held Fraser out, searching the boy's face to see how he was. He stared back at his dad, his blue eyes solemn. "Honey? Are you all right?" Ray whispered. "Fraser?"

"Daddy? I got stolen," the boy whispered then broke into a fit of coughing. His face was smudged with engine grease and residue from the boat fire. He was soaking wet just like his fathers and starting to shiver. His lips were blue.

Ray brought him into a tight embrace. "Benny, he's freezing," Ray exclaimed just as someone draped a rough blanket around Fraser's back. Another one was put around Ray. Ray looked down at his semi-conscious lover. One of the officers put a blanket over him too. Ben's face was burned. The explosion! "Benny," Ray whispered.

Ben reached for him, batting a blistered hand along Fraser's blanket. Ray took his hand, mindful of the burns. Ben turned to him but his stare was blank then he began to blink rapidly. "Your eyes?" Ray had seen that look before. Ben couldn't see him.

The commotion at the end of the dock caught his attention. The kidnapper was being hauled off to a patrol car. Ray saw the little girl. She was in the arms of a Constable who was holding a blanket around her.

An ambulance siren reached Ray's ears. He began to rock Fraser. The boy was crying in between coughing fits. Dief lay down beside Ben and began licking his other, uninjured hand. Ray stared, waiting for the paramedics to reach his lover and his son.

"One ambulance for us. One for the girl," Ray said as a paramedic tried to steer him toward where the girl had been taken. "Nobody separates this family," Ray declaired. "I'll hold my son in my lap." He walked toward the second ambulance that Ben was being loaded into. Fraser was still wrapped tightly in his embrace and would stay there until the boy wanted to let go. "Back off!" Ray glared at the paramedic who tried to take Fraser again.

With a Constable's help he climbed in. "You mind running our wolf by the vets office? He's got blood on his head that wasn't there last time I saw him. I guess he's been laying somewhere recovering from a pipe blow to his head." Ray got a nod, an enthusiastic nod. Constable Benton Fraser's wolf was rather well known here. He turned his attention back to his son, easing back to study the boy's face. He was almost asleep.

The second paramedic sat beside Ray on the other gourney and put a stethoscope to Fraser's back. "If you could help me check him for broken bones, possible internal injuries?"

"Yeah," Ray complied, his eyes firmly on Benny now. He was having some liquid poured in his eyes. A lot of liquid. Ray moved Fraser's arms and legs, getting no pain response.

"His lungs are a bit unclear. Could you let me put this oxygen mask on him?"

Ray helped put the mask on Fraser's face. The boy fussed for a bit then put his head back on his father's shoulder. "Honey, can we take your wet clothes off? Get you warm and dry?"

"Mhm," Fraser murmured, lethargic in his speech and his movements. Ray glanced at the paramedic who checked the boy's pupils.

"It's probably just shock. Let's finish checking him for injuries."

Ray nodded and struggled with the wet tee shirt. The paramedic finally just cut it off. The same with his pants. The socks and shoes came off, then his underwear. There wasn't a mark anywhere on him. Ray began to cry after the boy was asleep wrapped in a blanket and securely clutched in his arms.

Benny was unloaded first. By the time Ray caught up with him in his exam cubicle his burns were being treated with more liquid.

"Chemical burns," the doctor said. "He'll be fine in a day or so."

"His eyes?" Ray asked. "He can't see."

"He's tracking now. Put the boy up here on this table and let me have a look at him," the doctor insisted.

"He won't let go and I'm not going to make him," Ray answered calmly. He'd done all his yelling at the paramedic. "I'll lay down with him if you wanna do any poking or prying." And Ray scooted up on the table, laying down with Fraser stretched out. The doctor got his poking and prodding done and Ray rewrapped his son.

"We can take the oxygen off now. He'll cough the rest of that out. He's a healthy young boy. A night in observation, uh. You'll be staying too, I presume?" the doctor said this with a smile.

"And my partner?"

"Police partner?" the doctor looked surprised. "I thought he was your S O."

"He is. I meant that. My husband. He'll be checked in to the hospital?"

"Yes. Our ophthalmology specialist is on the way down to take a look at him. By tracking I mean he has vision. We'll find out if there's any damage and if its temporary. Okay? You ready to go upstairs to a room where your son can get some sleep?"

Ben pulled the eyeglasses from his shirt pocket and put them on and saw that Ray was beaming a smile at him from across the park. In a year, after his cornea had completely recovered he'd be able to get soft contact lenses the doctor told him. Until then the glasses cleared up the slight blurring of objects that weren't close at hand. His son came running into view from behind Ray. It was the most blessed sight he'd ever seen.

Turning the kite string holding over to Benny, after a passionate kiss, Ray joined Robby and Gary on the plaid blanket. "It's gonna get hot here later in the summer, isn't it?"

"Yep. We can lay out and work on our tans," Robby said. "You'll survive. How's he doing?" Robby tilted his head at the boy bounding around the Mountie. Dief yapped at Fraser and his playmate.

"Fine. No more nightmares. You wouldn't believe what I found him doing yesterday. He was sitting in the hall closet. Said he wanted to make sure dark places didn't scare him because of what happened. He's an incredible kid."

"And lucky," Gary said. "In more ways than one. You got to him in time."

"That was God's intervention. I don't doubt it for a moment. If that animal had laid a finger on my boy . . . I would have . . . Mr. Peters did try to get in the court house to shoot the man. Did you hear about that?" Ray grimaced.

"Yeah," Gary stroked Ray's arm.

Dief bounded over to the blanket, panting hard and lay down behind Ray as if to hide from the boys. They circled the blanket and its occupants at a full run then were off, whooping and laughing toward a copse of trees that looked climbable to Ray. He watched them for a little bit then studied his lover.

"You know if that had been my old man? He'd never let one day go by without reminding me that he'd sacrificed his perfect vision for me. But Benny? You'll never hear a single word of complaint out of him for as long as he lives. He never once whines when he's tired and things get a little blurry. Like night driving. That's a problem for him right now. But you'd never know it wasn't something he's handled all his life. If that had been my old man?" Ray shook his head.

Ben looked back at the group on the blanket and met Ray's gaze. He slowly walked backward toward them, moving the rainbow kite across the sky. The new kite matched the flag Ray had hung from their balcony a week ago. He'd brought it home from a shopping trip with Robby and the boys, never saying a thing about it. Ray just hung it out there, no accompanying explanation, no discussion necessary. Ben smiled. There was a subtle change in his lover, an easing, an acknowledgment that seemed to shine in him as a new found peace of mind.

Ben knelt on the blanket. Ray offered his mouth to be kissed. With a smile Ben complied.

The End

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