The Christmas Party
by Cheryl Ross
Rated G
Humour Poetry
All standard disclaimers apply.
The Christmas Party
Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the station
the cops were havin' a huge celebration.
Their holsters were slung
on their desks without care
and even Lt. Welsh had a jubilant air.
Elaine left her computer completely unmanned
as she searched for the Mountie
with mistletoe in her hand..
With Frannie in her mini-skirt
and Benton in his hat
she was trying to manoeuvre him into the back.
That glint in her eye
that tilt to her head
soon gave him to know
he had something to dread.
Much redder than holly
his cheeks they became
and he stuttered and stammered
and called out Ray's name.
When in through the doorway
who should appear
but Inspector Meg Thatcher
decked in red Mountie gear.
She wore an evil expression
and a mean icy glare
that told little Frannie
she'd better beware.
But tucked in Ben's pocket
was a card from Peoria
that read "Merry Christmas,
love and bullets... Victoria".
And Ray of course
was a right jolly sight
in reds and greens
and oranges so bright.
He was dressed in Armani
from his head to his shoe
and he looked like the cover
of December's GQ.
He'd had too much punch
and his eyes were all screwy
in a tragic mistake
he made a pass at Jack Huey.
When in came a call
Ray's Mom's on the phone
Christmas dinner is ready
You'd better get home.
So away to the Riv
they flew like a flash
Ray leaping in
hit his head on the dash.
More vile than a sailor's
his curse words they came
while Ben shook his head
and whispered, "For shame".
But I heard them exclaim
'ere they drove out of sight
"Thank you kindly to all
and to all a good night".
By Cheryl Ross
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