The Christmas Party

 by Cheryl Ross

 Rated G

 Humour Poetry

 All standard disclaimers apply.

The Christmas Party

 Twas the night before Christmas

 and all through the station

 the cops were havin' a huge celebration.

 Their holsters were slung

 on their desks without care

 and even Lt. Welsh had a jubilant air.

 Elaine left her computer completely unmanned

 as she searched for the Mountie

 with mistletoe in her hand..

 With Frannie in her mini-skirt

 and Benton in his hat

 she was trying to manoeuvre him into the back.

 That glint in her eye

 that tilt to her head

 soon gave him to know

 he had something to dread.

 Much redder than holly

 his cheeks they became

 and he stuttered and stammered

 and called out Ray's name.

 When in through the doorway

 who should appear

 but Inspector Meg Thatcher

 decked in red Mountie gear.

 She wore an evil expression

 and a mean icy glare

 that told little Frannie

 she'd better beware.

 But tucked in Ben's pocket

 was a card from Peoria

 that read "Merry Christmas,

 love and bullets... Victoria".

 And Ray of course

 was a right jolly sight

 in reds and greens

 and oranges so bright.

 He was dressed in Armani

 from his head to his shoe

 and he looked like the cover

 of December's GQ.

 He'd had too much punch

 and his eyes were all screwy

 in a tragic mistake

 he made a pass at Jack Huey.

 When in came a call

 Ray's Mom's on the phone

 Christmas dinner is ready

 You'd better get home.

 So away to the Riv

 they flew like a flash

 Ray leaping in

 hit his head on the dash.

 More vile than a sailor's

 his curse words they came

 while Ben shook his head

 and whispered, "For shame".

 But I heard them exclaim

 'ere they drove out of sight

 "Thank you kindly to all

 and to all a good night".

 By Cheryl Ross

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