Benton Fraser on Quantum Leap

by Lorene Turner

*zoooshing blue lightning effects* as Sam leaps in... and finds himself
in a red uniform, standing in front of the Canadian consulate, Ray patiently
waiting for him to get off shift. "Oh boy."
Ray: "So NOW you can come off shift a few minutes early? This is some
kind of a sport in Canada, isn't it, playing with other people's minds.
Come on, let's go."

Meanwhile, back in the waiting room...
Fraser: "How ... unexpected."
Al Callevici: "Gooshie, how come he's awake?"
Fraser: "Would you mind answering a question for me?"
Al, hedgily: "Just a sec... GOOSHIE!"
Fraser: "You wouldn't happen to be familiar with a situation involving
my uncle and several leafs of cabbage, would you?
Al: "Uh, no..."
Fraser: "I thought not.  Where am I?"
Al: "You're in New Mexico, um, kinda taking part in a scientific experiment."
Fraser: "Oh I *see*.  Am I to understand, then, that this is some sort
of time travel experiment gone awry?"
Al: "How did you..."
Fraser: "That blinking glowing object you are speaking to has a
manufacture date of 1999 on it, barely readable, but present. As a Mountie
I tend to notice details. Also, this correlates nicely with some
experimentation the Inuit in the Yukon were doing when I was growing
up there.  It involved two year old seals, some Corn Nuts, and the use
of some maple syrup in an extremely unorthodox manner. But that's not
important, the point is, that I am familiar with the concepts of time
travel.  The Inuit have been doing it for decades now."
Al: "Why didn't they tell the rest of us?"
Fraser: "Nobody asked."
Al: (scowls)
Fraser: "To tell you the truth, there was a little trouble at the start,
something to do with the temperature of the Corn Nuts. It resulted in
one poor woman leaping around through time seemingly at random."
Al(eyes wide): "How was it fixed?"
Fraser: "By simply heating up the Corn Nuts to 32.1 degrees Centigrade.
It's quite simple, really, once you're familiar with the theory. The
woman was quite relieved to get back home."
Al: "GOOOSHIE I think you want to COME IN HERE!"
Fraser: "Wait... where's my hat??"
Al (thinking) : Looney tune. But he seems so sincere...

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