Made in Canada

by Katie Zajdel

A _Due South_ / _Toy Story_ crossover (well, sort of)

Okay, if you haven't seen _Toy Story_ yet, the basic premise is toys that 
come to life when their owner leaves the room. Not a brand-new concept, 
but one that I've always found interesting. And yes, I admit that I still 
have toys in my room, I just don't use them anymore. Now then...
**
We've all waited for the day when the Fraser, Ray, and Dief action 
figures would hit the market. This is what happens when that day finally 
arrives...

   I ran up the stairs to my room with my newfound treasures in my hands. 
The toy store finally got the _Due South_ action figures in, and I had 
just gotten one of the last "Fraser, Ray, and Diefenbaker" sets. I almost 
had the "Riv" accessory, too, but someone wrestled it out of my hands at 
the last minute. Oh, well--good thing the store had those rainchecks 
handy. I'll get it someday, when they stock more. But for now, I had my 
posable action figures, and that's all I cared about.
   My parakeet, Cosmic, squawked at me as I raced into my room. Jumping 
onto my bed, I ripped open the package. Let's see--Fraser came with his 
Stetson (of course), Ray came with a little cellular phone and a pair of 
sunglasses, and Dief came with what I could only assume was a little box 
of Milk Duds. With three proofs of purchase, you could send in for a 
crocheted sweater for him. I stood them up next to my window by my other 
Mountie figurines, and was surprised at how detailed their faces and 
clothes were. Then my mom called me down for supper, so I walked out of 
my bedroom, closing my door behind me.
****
   As soon as the door was firmly shut, Fraser cautiously opened his tiny 
blue eyes. He looked around and, seeing no one, turned to Ray and Dief 
and said, "It's all clear. You can 'unfreeze' now."
   As Fraser straightened his hat and bright red serge and Ray had a nice 
long stretch, Dief shook his head and started running around. Seeing 
this, Ray said to Fraser, "Hey, Benny, control your wolf! He's gonna run 
into something."
   "He's just excited, Ray. He has a lot of pent up energy after spending 
a month in that blister package."
   Then, noticing their new surroundings, Ray groggily turned to Fraser 
and asked, "Benny, where are we? Why is everything so huge?"
   "Well, Ray," the Mountie responded, "we appear to be in someone's 
bedroom. And everything is huge because, well, we're toys. Five inches 
tall. We're made of plastic. Here, look." Fraser took off his boot and 
flipped it around to show the bottom of it to Ray. "'Made in Canada' 
right there, engraved on my boot."
   "What?" said Ray. "I mean, now that my head is clearing up, I remember 
the toy thing and all our rules, like how we can't let real people know 
we're alive and all, but are you saying I'm a Canadian right now?"
   "Look on the bottom of your shoe, Ray. What does it say?"
   Ray lifted his shoe and stared at the inscription. "Oh, no. What is it 
with America and these dang imports?"
   "It's of no importance, Ray. Anyway, I think we should introduce 
ourselves to all the other toys here."
   It was then that the cop and Mountie toys had their first good look 
around the room. On shelves next to the window, there were model horses 
of all sizes, who were now cautiously peering out at the newcomers. Model 
space shuttles hung from the ceiling, and on the floor were some action 
figures from some sort of science fiction show, setting their phaser guns 
on "stun" out of their uncertainty about any new toy. The blue parakeet 
sat on top of his cage, occasionally flying around the room, but always 
looking uneasily at any toys that talked or moved.
   Fraser smiled, and held up his hand in greeting. "Hello everyone," he 
called. "My name is Benton Fraser, Royal Canadian Mounted Police. This is 
my friend, Detective Ray Vecchio, Chicago P.D., and my wolf, Diefenbaker. 
It's nice to be here, and I hope we will all become good friends."
   "Hi there," came a voice from behind them. Fraser and Ray whirled 
around to see another Mountie with a sharp red tunic standing there. He 
was a little taller than they were due to his R.C.M.P base, and he was 
not an action figure, but rather more of a plastic statue. "My name is 
Constable Turnbull, and I'd like to welcome you here to Katie's Room."
   Fraser looked puzzled for a moment, then asked, "By any chance, you 
wouldn't be..."
   Turnbull smiled and said, "No, I'm not _Due South_'s Turnbull. I'm 
just named after him. You see, Katie, whose room this is and who owns us, 
loves watching him on the show because he makes her laugh so hard. So, 
she named me after him. But I'll tell you now that I'm not anything like 
what I've heard he's like."
   "Ah," Fraser answered quietly, "that's good." He still looked a little 
distressed, something Ray wasn't used to, so Ray changed the subject.
   "Hey, do you know how we can get down from this ledge?"
   "Oh, sure, sure," Turnbull answered. "There are two shelves beneath 
you: just climb down."
   Fraser and Ray started to climb down to the floor. As soon as they 
were safely on terra firma, Fraser looked back up toward the ledge and 
called to Dief, "Jump!"
   For what seemed like the first time ever, Dief obeyed willingly. He 
jumped right into Benny so he would catch him, but the wolf was so big 
from all his junk food that Fraser would have toppled over from the 
wolf's weight and momentum had Ray not been there to steady him.
   "That does it, mister," Fraser said to Dief. "As of right now you're 
on a diet. You're getting too soft." Dief just whined softly and trotted 
away.

*****

From the floor they were able to get a little better view of the 
bedroom. "Hey, what's with all the Mountie stuff in here?" Ray asked. "A 
poster, drawings, a scrapbook? I specifically saw that our box was being 
shipped to the States. How can this American citizen be so much into all 
this Canadian stuff?"
   "Maybe she just likes learning about police work, Ray."
   "Oh, yeah, do you see any *American* cop stuff around here? No! Not 
even a Sherlock Holmes hat in honor of all us detectives out there."
   "Ray, you're forgetting that you're just a toy. You're not *the* 
Raymond Vecchio."
   "I know, Fraser, I know," Ray sighed. "This place is weird, though, 
Benny. I don't like it. But it looks like we'll be here for a while 
before we get thrown in the attic or sold at a garage sale."
   "It's not that bad, Ray," Benny said, walking over to pat a horse that 
had followed them over towards the door. "This girl looked to be about 16 
years old, and she appears to care about us and the show very much. We 
could be in a little five-year old's sticky hand right now."
   "Yeah, I suppose you're right, Benny," Ray said. "But her room sure 
isn't that much cleaner than a five-year old's."
   "Oh, Ray, it's not messy, just...cluttered."
   At that, a huge commotion started behind them. Ray and Fraser turned 
around just in time to see Dief barking at the real-life bird that 
actually was bigger than he was. Dief was running wildly around on the 
floor, and the bird was squawking back loudly and trying to swoop down on 
Dief out of his excitement and annoyance. Fraser ran over to Dief, 
shouting, "Dief! Stop it!" But being the deaf wolf he was, Dief didn't 
hear Fraser, and was concentrating too hard on having fun by driving the 
bird nuts to look around and read Fraser's lips. So Dief continued 
barking (in the most threatening way that a 4-inch wolf can) until Fraser 
reached him and grabbed him. It took both Benny and Ray to hold Dief 
still to quiet him down.
   Dief stopped, but the bird didn't. Now that his target had stopped 
moving, he took advantage of the opportunity and dove straight for the 
little group. Ray, out of more habit than anything else, reached for his 
gun and yelled, "Police! Freeze!" to the bird. Panicked, his hand 
searched his belt, but there was no gun anywhere. "Where's my gun?!" he 
yelled. "Fraser, didn't the manufacturer put my gun in with me?"
   "Probably not, Ray. After all, everyone writing to the networks to 
save _Due South_ is saying what a good family show it is."
   By this time, the bird that seemed to come out of a Stephen King movie 
was so close that all they could do was duck (they knew when "duck" meant 
"duck"). Luckily, the parakeet wasn't used to grabbing things like an 
eagle or hawk, and he missed them and started coming around for another 
try.
   Then through the floor boards, Fraser heard a voice from below them. 
It said, "Katie, your bird is making a racket up there. You'd better go 
and check on him."
   Fraser looked at Ray with an alarmed look on his face. "She's coming 
back up, Ray. We have to get in our spots!"
   "What? We can't make it all the way across the room before she comes 
up here!"
   "You're absolutely right, Ray. We'll have to ride."
   "What, on that horse? No way! I ain't gettin' on it. What if it breaks 
its leg or something? Will we have to shoot it with a phaser from those 
space-ranger guys over there?"
   "No, Ray, the horse is plastic, and I saw a half-empty tube of model 
cement over there we could use to fix it. But, Ray, that's a moot point. 
We have to go! Now!"
   "Alright, I'm coming."
   Amid the diving bird, the cop, the Mountie, and the wolf all climbed 
onto the nervous horse. With one good "Hyah!" from Fraser, they were 
tearing across the blue carpet, with Ray and Dief barely able to stay on.
   They tumbled down as the horse skidded to an abrupt stop near the 
window. They clambered up to the places where they had been set before, 
and froze into the exact same position. Turnbull was frozen already, 
standing at attention as he always was, and the horse jumped into his 
place on the shelf.
   Cosmic made one last dive at the now-inanimate toy Dief, and veered 
off only as he heard me enter the room. I stared at my parakeet and 
asked, "What's your problem? Don't you like the new law enforcement 
around here?"
   With that, I gathered up my Fraser, Ray, and Diefenbaker action 
figures (and my Turnbull statue for good measure) and said to them, "Come 
on, guys. We're having a second season _Due South_ marathon in a few 
minutes. You can come watch with us."
   As I started down the stairs, I thought I noticed something strange on 
one of my action figures. I looked more closely, and then I wondered, 
"Why would my Diefenbaker have a blue feather in his mouth?"

THE END