Badge Of Pride #1: Shattered Stones	   Badge Of Pride #1: Shattered
Stones

 by Gilda Lily

  

 Author's Website: http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Gallery/8741/jmgarden.htm

 Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I don't own 'em, Alliance does, more's the pity. 

 Author's Notes: This new series is an AU, a different version of American
and Canadian history. The words *"It could happen here"* spring to mind. 
 

 Story Notes: Pairing: Benny/Ray V. 
Categories: Drama, AU. 
Rating: G. 
 

 

 

 I
 RUBY-RED 

 Ray speeded up slightly as he turned onto North Octavia, gliding the Riv
down the silent street. The wind was picking up on this cold, raw, January
evening, and scraps of paper and old leaves whirled around in frantic
little arcs as the streetlights illuminated the gray sidewalks, patches of
dirty snow remaining after the mild thaw of the last few days. He glanced
up at the sky. More snow coming, though. He could feel it in his bones. A
faint smile played around his lips. Benny would know the precise moment it
would come. He caught the bright cherry-red flash of a police cruiser
behind him and started to sweat. He turned into the driveway of his home
and the cruiser drove past, relief pounding in his chest. He shut off the
engine and angled his lanky body out of the car, hurrying into the house. 

 Inviting golden light spilled out of his house and the houses down the
street as dusk grew to darkness. He used his key and went through the
front door, yanking his coat off and putting it in the hall closet. Made
it, he thought. He grimaced at his lapel and slammed the door shut. 

 "Ma! How's Benny?" 

 Rosa Vecchio emerged from the kitchen with a dishtowel in hand. "The
same." Worry laced her eyes. 

 Ray's stomach twisted. "Did you get the medicine?" 

 Rosa nodded. "It's on the dresser." 

 "Thanks, Ma." Ray kissed her on the cheek and barreled up the stairs and
down the hall. He skidded to a halt at the entrance to his room. 

 In the big, familiar bed lay his lover, a slight rattling noise the only
sound in the room. Dief lay nearby, his amber eyes trained on his stricken
human. 

 "Hey, Dief," Ray said softly, patting the wolf's head as he passed to the
bed. He looked down at his lover. 

 Benny's face held a faint sheen of sweat, his dark hair wavy and ruffled
with dampness. His color was flushed, the result of a low-grade fever. The
sheets were rumpled and halfway down his chest. His light-blue pajama top
was sticking to his skin. 

 "Aw, Benny," Ray murmured, his hand resting softly on that wavy hair. 

 Blue eyes fluttered open. "R...Ray?" 

 "Right here, love." 

 A smile blossomed on Benny's face. "You're home." 

 "And where else would I be?" Ray kissed his beloved on the lips, ignoring
Benny's gentle protestations about catching something. "The only thing I'm
gonna catch is you." 

 Benny chuckled, then began to cough. 

 "Hold on." Ray crossed to the dresser, picking up the ruby-red bottle and
spoon. He returned to the bed and poured out the medicine. Benny took it
without protest, sinking back into the pillows. Ray set the bottle and
spoon on the nightstand with the water pitcher, glass, and box of tissues.
He glanced at the small clock. 

 "You made curfew," Benny rasped. 

 "Just about. Saw a black-and-white but he didn't mess with me." 

 "Thank goodness." Benny reached out and grasped Ray's hand, the coldness
frightening Ray. 

 "Listen, Benny, you get some sleep and I'll have dinner and take a hot
shower. Then I'll come to bed and you can sleep or we can talk." 

 Benny nodded. He was unable to keep any food down and needed sleep more
than dinner, anyway. He was sleeping before Ray left the room, and the
Italian paused at the door, looking back at Benny, his face in shadow. He
exited and closed the door softly behind him. 

 He went down the stairs with a weary step, sighing as he held on tightly
to the balustrade. It had been a long day. Hell, it had been a long
decade. He went into the kitchen. 

 "Sit down, Raymondo." Ray obeyed, wincing as his tailbone hit the seat.
He had lost weight that Rosa took as a personal affront. She set a
steaming plate of rigatoni in front of him, the shrimp sauce making his
mouth water. "Eat." 

 He didn't have to be told twice. He picked up his fork and dug in,
suddenly ravenous. 

 He ate in silence, Rosa finishing up clean-up from the family dinner. 

 "Where is everybody?" 

 "Tony and Maria went out to dinner. The children are on sleep-overs and
the baby is asleep. Francesca helped me with the children at dinner and
then left on a date." 

 Ray absorbed the comings and goings of his family and drank the icewater
that soothed his throat. He thought of working in the cold, dank records
room all day and his bones ached. "Ma, I don't know what to do," he said
softly. 

 Rosa looked at her son with sympathy and sorrow brimming in her brown
eyes. "I know, Raymondo." She put her warm hand over his cold one. He
sighed and then rose from the chair stiffly. "If you don't mind, Ma, I'm
going to go in the living room for a minute." 

 "Go ahead, caro. I'll clean up." 

 "Thanks." 

 He trudged into the dark living room, his eyes adjusting as a streetlight
poured streams of light into the room. He sat bonelessly on the couch, his
head aching. He rested it on the back of the couch, needing a few minutes
to catch his equilibrium and let Benny get some much-needed sleep. He
thought of his scut work assignment and his lip curled. That jerk Kruger
from his squad was rising up in the ranks and lording it over him...he
stopped that line of thought. It did no good. It would eat away at him and
leave him with an acidic taste in his mouth. Feeling like a
ninety-year-old man, he pushed himself off the couch and forced his tired
legs up the stairs. 

 When he went into the bedroom to get his robe and pajamas, he checked on
Benny, who was still asleep. He rested his hand on the fevered brow and
frowned. Still hot, but at least it wasn't worse. He left the room to pad
down the hall and gratefully took a hot shower. 

 When he returned, he slipped into his favorite blue-and-white striped
silk pajamas and got under the covers. Benny stirred and rolled over into
his embrace. 

 "Ray," he yawned sleepily. 

 "Hiya, Benny." Ray kissed the top of his head. "How ya doin'?" 

 "Fine, Ray," Benny answered, a faint smile on his lips. Shyly, he slid
his arms around his lover and Ray pulled him close. They sighed
contentedly despite Benny's illness and Ray's weariness. They were
together, and that was a lot better than could be said for others like
them. "Ray, I'm sore-ry to be such a bother to your mother all day." 

 "Ah, don't sweat it. Ma loves to have someone to take care of." 

 Benny sighed as he melted into Ray's side. He was warm and Ray brushed
off the stray locks of hair from his eyes. 

 "It looks like snow," Ray said softly. 

 "Yes." Benny looked at the dark, moonless sky. Clouds were blocking out
the stars. "I saw the sky this afternoon." Benny began to struggle to turn
his head to look at Ray. "Ray..." 

 "Hush," Ray said, kissing him on his head again. "Sleep, love. I'll be
right here." 

 Exhausted from his illness, Benny obeyed, sleep soon overtaking him. Ray
sighed and glanced at Dief, whose amber eyes glittered in the dark. The
wolf snuffled, then settled down for the night. 

 Ray quietly opened the drawer of the nightstand and took out a small
black velvet case with his free hand. He flicked open the lid with his
finger, a plain gold band nestled in the slot. Benny was wearing his ring.
He managed to get the ring on his own finger with considerable dexterity,
then put the box back. It rested on top of a piece of paper in the drawer.
He shut the drawer, pain in his heart. 

 It had all been so wonderful. After the Stonewall Riot of '69, the Gay
Liberation Movement had gathered astonishing steam. As the civil rights
and women's liberation movements before it, it changed Americans' thinking
as it challenged long-held prejudices and ideas about gays and lesbians.
The freedom had been heady in those days, and rights were won so fast that
it had made heads spin. A parallel movement was keeping pace in Canada.
The final triumph had been the right of marriage. As soon as gays had
acquired the full rights of that venerable institution, he and Benny had
gone right out and gotten legally married. That had been in 1984. 

 Then the bottom had dropped out. 

 Ray sighed and slid down in the bed, taking Benny with him. He fell
asleep, exhaustion carrying him into a troubled dreamland.  

 II
 PINK 

 Ray awoke, a hot Benny wrapped around him. Unfortunately, the 'hot'
wasn't the kind he was hoping for. Benny's temperature was up again. 

 He reluctantly woke his lover and gave him more medicine, then extracted
a promise to try and eat some breakfast. Ray fixed it himself: dry cereal,
an orange, and cranberry juice. Benny made a manful effort but could only
eat half the cereal, a quarter of the orange, and drink half a glass of
juice. Ray was satisfied though worried about the fever. 

 "I'll be fine, Ray," Benny croaked, reading his lover's mind. 

 "I'm sorry, Benny. I can't help it. You need more than just a bottle of
damned medicine," Ray said angrily. 

 "Ray." Benny's voice was soft. 

 Deflated, Ray said, "Yeah, I know." He kissed his lover and then gave
Benny a sponge bath, wishing that he had time to be more sensual about it,
but if he was late for work he'd be in more trouble than he cared to think
about. Benny watched as he removed his ring and put it back into the
velvet box. Neither man met the other's eyes. He gave his lover a final
kiss and scooted downstairs after showering and dressing. 

 "Ma, Benny's temperature's up," Ray said as he slid into his seat, saying
good morning to the assembled clan over the racket of the children
preparing for school. 

 "I'll keep an eye on him, Raymondo." 

 Maria hustled the children down to the bus stop, scolding Theresa for not
buckling her boot. "It's going to snow. You need your boots." 

 Tony picked up his lunch box and Frannie finished her grapefruit, Ray
looking up to see her gaze on him. Rosa picked up the baby and brought her
into the playpen in the living room. 

 "You need more medicine?" asked Frannie. 

 Ray shook his head. "No, we're good. At least for awhile. Ma picked up a
bottle yesterday." 

 Frannie nodded, looking smart in her tailored suit. She'd landed a job as
an executive secretary and had upgraded her wardrobe as a result. Ray
missed her uneasy expression as he finished his own breakfast and rose to
put the dishes in the sink. 

 "See you tonight," Frannie said, and Ray nodded. They both went to the
hall closet after brushing their teeth and Frannie did a final primping.
They grabbed their coats and headed outside where the Riv and Frannie's
Cavalier awaited. Her coat was a long, warm, wine-red coat. Ray's was a
dark charcoal shade. A pink triangle was affixed to the lapel. 

 They both got into their cars and drove away, the sky a slate-gray as the
temperature began to drop.  E-Mail: jeanniemarie@sprintmail.com
 April 2, 2001 

End