Close to the Edge# 2 - Right at the Edge	Close to the Edge# 2 -
Right at the Edge

 by Pita Patter

  

 Author's Website: 

 Disclaimer: They are not mine, they are Alliance's, and it makes me cry
every night.

 Author's Notes: Thanks to the wonderful Sylvia for the transcripts and to
Claudia for the beta.

 Story Notes: This is part two of a series, but is stands on its own.
Takes place immediately after Red, White or Blue. Sap warning

 
 Pairing: Fraser/Vecchio
 Rating: NC-17 for language, slash and m/m graphic relation Series: Close
to the Edge 
 Spoilers: The events narrated here take place immediately after "Red,
White or Blue". Acknowledgements: Thanks again to the wonderful Orphan
Account for the use of her transcripts. Disclaimer: A 1972 green classic
Yes album called Close to the Edge inspired me somewhat, but it was never
my intention to take advantage/profit from it. Also, I love these boys as
if they were my own, but alas!, they are Alliance's. Big sigh. Warnings:
This is the end of my Close to the Edge series. The first part is called
Nearer the Edge. You don't have to read it to understand this one, but it
helps. The events take place some weeks after Nearer the Edge. Comments
are highly appreciated at pitapattr@yahoo.com The date is 2001. 

 

 Foreword 
 Fraser [in semaphore]: Red suits you. 
 Vecchio: What was that about? 
 Fraser: What? Oh, that? 
 Vecchio: Yes, that. 
 Fraser: Nothing.
 Vecchio: Nothing? You're standing there flailing your arms around like
you're daffy. What do you think, I just got off the boat? 
Fraser: Which boat?
 Vecchio: Don't try to deflect this.
 Fraser: Deflect what? 
 Vecchio: You know what I'm talking about. 
Fraser: Well, no, Ray, actually, I don't know what you're talking about. 
Vecchio: After all that we've been through, haven't you learned anything?
 Fraser: In what sense?
 Vecchio: You're the most irritating man in the world.
 Fraser: Define irritating.
 Vecchio: Oh, no, you look it up, Mr. Encyclopaedia. 
 Fraser: Well, I think you mean Mr. Dictionary, don't you?
 

 Red, White or Blue. 

 Everything was almost said and done. The Bolt brothers were in jail once
more, the FBI guys had made a fool of themselves once more, all jury
members had been released or sent to the hospital, Judge Brock included.
Detective First Grade Ray Vecchio looked around, observing as his
unofficial partner, Constable Benton Fraser patiently answered the last
questions to a plainclothesman policeman from 16th Precinct on the case. 

 In Ray's opinion, the case did not register any permanent impression. OK,
so Benny and he would have a great story at the family's dinner table
telling everyone how they shared a weird poncho and had a bomb linked to
their heartbeat. Before that, they had been knocked out and kidnapped.
Actually, it was nothing so out of the ordinary, considering their cases
together. 

 Diefenbaker stood by the detective's side, observing his human pack mate
as conspicuously as it was possible for a wolf. There was something wrong
with the slender one, thought the wolf. Dief could smell the grief and
self-pity. Whenever Ray felt that way, he also developed a certain anxiety
that resulted in doughnuts for Dief. It was as if Ray wanted to compensate
the wolf for having to deal with his own feelings of inadequacy. From the
readings Dief was getting from Ray in that particular moment, he knew that
the doughnut opportunities could rise to the roof. 

 Ray was just trying to deal with feelings he should not be having. First,
he should not be in lov- Ops, there was the forbidden L word. That was the
big forbidden feeling. Major no-no. This was not kosher for an Italian
cop, thinking this way about his very straight Mountie friend. Ray sighed,
thinking he should have been over it by now. 

 Then there were all those weeks when Ray observed the Dragon Lady and
Benny almost hitting it on. There was a sort of tension in the air around
those two, a sort of sexual tension. Well, that was what couples in love
experienced, right? So it was normal. Ray really believed he was OK with
that. He had decided to make anything that made his friend happy. And if
Benny wanted the Dragon Lady, then Ray would have to deal with the Dragon
Lady. 

 Deciding what to do was something. Seeing it actually happening was
something else. How dared Benny make all those stupid flag signs? At the
time, he was involved with the case and did not notice it happening. But
now, everything was clear. Benny was flirting with the Dragon Lady by
semaphores. Ray was outraged. He felt humiliated. But he could not say a
word now, could he? 

 Definitely, too many feeling he should not have. 

 A whine came from below. Ray peeked at Dief. "Maybe we can stop for
doughnut, Dief. What do you say?" 

 A happy bark. A sad smile. 

 "Is everything alright, Ray?" 

 Benny's arrival captured Ray's attention. 

 "Sure, Benny", Ray shrugged. "Why wouldn't it be?" 

 "You seem still upset with me. I thought you were talking to me again." 

 "Well, I am not upset and I am talking to you." "Are you sure?" 
 Slight annoyance, deep sigh. "Yes, I am quite sure, Benny. Will you let
it go now?" 

 "Of course, Ray." 

 "Come on, I will drive you home." 

 "I have to go to the Consulate, and pick up coffee on the way." 

 "But you are not going to the Consulate like this", Ray indicated the
missing sleeve on the red serge jacket. "Are you?" 

 "Of course not, Ray." 

 "So, first we take you home, then we eat something, you buy coffee and we
get to the Consulate. Is that OK for our escape route, huh, Mr. Mountie?" 

 Ray's mood was really bad, Ben observed. So he just nodded. "As you wish,
Ray."  

 The ride to West Racine was painfully silent. Fraser did not want to
upset Ray more than he already was. Besides, he had reasons of his own to
be also quite cranky. 

 Dealing with women had never been Ben's best feature, yet he was having
an exceptional bad rapport with his superior officer. The main area of
such bad interaction was at the personal and off-work field. Inspector
Thatcher had clearly determined their relationship was not to be, and all
their previous contact was to be erased from his memory. 

 Fraser could not do it. He remembered. But he remembered mainly the
feeling of loss and despair as he once more faced a lifetime of loneliness
and emptiness. 

 Everyone left. His whole life had been marked by people leaving him
alone, punctuating his solitude with deep pain. He should have been used
to it by now. He would have plenty of time to get used from now on. 

 Still, his heart would not stop bleeding, and there were some former
heart aches that had picked up that particular moment to return with full
force. His feelings for Ray had chosen this moment to resurface with an
intensity that stunned him. But he could not deal with his love at that
moment. 

 His priority now was Ray, not his love for Ray. Ray was mad at him.
Again. From the moment he knew he had once more annoyed and hurt his best
friend's feelings, Fraser knew he would do anything to clear things with
Ray. He could not bear the thought of hurting Ray. 

 Fraser could not name what he had done this time to annoy Ray, but his
friend was not speaking to him. They arrived at West Racine in total
silence, and Fraser's heart was racing to find a way to make Ray feel
better. Ray's heart was immersed in anger and self-pity. 

 "This will only take a minute, Ray," said Fraser as they got inside the
spartan apartment. 

 Ray sighed and sat by the kitchen table as the Mountie went inside the
closet to change his jacket and Henley T-shirt. The Italian looked out the
window, feeling drained. Suddenly, all the day's tension began to rise. He
could have been killed. That stupid bomb could have gone off, and he and
Benny would be history by now. 

 For a moment, Ray played with the idea of his death. Who would miss him?
Besides his family, Angie and a few co-workers like the Lieu and Elaine,
no one would mourn Ray Vecchio. The planet would still be spinning with
one less Vecchio. 

 He knew Benny would miss him. But Benny wouldn't count, because Benny
would be dead with him. But if for some weird reason Ray survived and
Benny died... 

 Ray did not realise the amount of pain that thought evoked until it hit
him right in his chest. He felt almost suffocated, out of oxygen. Benny...
dead. Oh, no. That could not be so. Ray felt the Universe tilting,
everything going out of place, walls crumbling down. Benny... gone. His
life would be over, too, and in the most terrible way: he would still be
breathing, walking, or so, but he would be dead inside. If Benny died, Ray
could not survive. Worse than that: Benny would never know how much Ray
loved him. His ears roared with that thought. 

 The pain in Ray's chest was becoming unbearable, the lack of oxygen
worse. Ray wanted to breathe, but he found himself unable to suck air,
even through his mouth. Reality became liquid. Benny dead. There was some
noise on the background, but Ray could not hear it. 

 A soft touch in this shoulder interrupted his reverie, and Ray was
abruptly and none too gently transported back in time and space. 

 "Ray?" 

 He looked up to see Benny's warm blue eyes staring in a worried frown at
him. Ray was panting quietly, his heart out of control, looking at the
Canadian with a lost look, feeling as if he had just waken from a horrible
nightmare. 

 "I called you, and you did not answer." Benny seemed to be increasingly
worried. "You... are crying." 

 Ray lifted one hand to his face and found out that his cheeks were wet.
Oh, now what would he tell Benny? The pain in his chest seemed to grow
stronger and he could not keep himself from looking away from those blue
eyes. God, those eyes. 

 *I can't tell him I love him. I can't not not tell him, either. * 

 "Ray? Please, Ray, talk to me." 

 Ray looked away and tried to wipe his tears. "I am OK, Fraser." 

 "Ray, please, tell me. What is wrong?" 

 He could not face his friend. What had he done? How could he get out of
this situation? 

 Ray kept his eyes away from those piercing blue ones. "You don't want to
know." 

 "Yes, I do." The hand was back on his shoulder, warm and gentle. "You are
my friend. I want to help." 

 "No, Benny. I don't deserve it. I have these... ugly things inside me,
things you don't want to know. If you see them, you won't wanna see me
again." 

 "Ray, I have also many ugly things inside me. You have seen some, and
they have hurt you. And you are still my friend. Why would I be
different?" 

 "Because you're not a faggot, Benny, that's why." Ray's voice was quiet,
not shouting as he supposed he would be as he blurted out the unspeakable
truth. "I love you so much, and I must be the biggest faggot to fall in
love with my best friend, but I can't hold it anymore. I'm sorry, Benny,
I'm so sorry." 

 Once more, when Ray realised what had happened, he was already enveloped
in two loving and warm arms, a fresh clean white Henley soaking his tears.
"Oh, Ray. I love you so much." 

 Ray tried to resist. "No, Benny, it's the Dragon Lady you're after. I
won't stand in your way." 

 Ben did not let go, and Ray was trying very hard not to realise how good
it felt to be in Benny's arms. "No, Ray, that is not true. The Inspector
and I... it never worked out." 

 "But... right there... at that building... you two were... you were..." 

 "We were merely working together, Ray. The Inspector had made it quite
clear that it was inappropriate for us to have a relationship. Besides, it
is you I love. I always knew she was a sort of compensation, since I had
never dared to believe you could feel the same way for me. I was going
insane about you, Ray. So I did something foolish, and I got involved with
her. But I could never forget you." 

 Ray sniffled. "Benny, I've always loved you. Oh, geez. You could have
died without ever knowing it, and my life would be over." 

 "Ray?" 

 The Italian shook his head. "Never mind. I guess I was daydreaming. I
mean, it was a day-nightmare." 

 Benny took Ray's head between his hands and looked deeply into his green
golden eyes filled with tears. "I love you, Ray." 

 Ray could see he was telling the truth. It was so frightening. And so
arousing. Ray shivered. 

 "I love you, too, Benny. But I don't know if I'm still dreaming or
daydreaming, or whatever." 

 "You are not dreaming". Benny used his finger to wipe a tear from Ray's
face. "Now please stop crying. I can't bear to see you cry, Ray. You have
no idea how painful it is to me." 

 "Oh, Benny." If anything, Ray cried harder. Benny let his friend's head
rest in his shoulder and gently caressed his back. The Canadian's
tenderness touched Ray deeply. 

 For a few minutes, they just held on to each other, their emotions
running deep. Ray had his arms around Benny's waist, and once he finally
stopped crying he marvelled at the sensation of such warmth around him. 

 Benny raised his head to look at Ray, who also looked at him. The
Italian's eyes were still red from crying, but they were fixed on Benny's
blue ones. Never had Ray seen so many emotions in his friend's eyes
before. His breath caught. 

 Ray's eyes entranced Benny, two pools betraying a myriad of emotions,
dancing colours that ranged from deep green to golden. Never had Benny
felt his heart ache so, or his feelings so raw and unhampered. It was
overwhelming. 

 They looked at each other, their faces only a breath away, their hearts
racing. Later, neither of them could say who took the initiative. Not that
it mattered anyhow. Their lips met, their bodies pressed. Gently, Fraser's
lips parted Ray's, and he slid his tongue inside his partner's mouth. Ray
was so carried away that he just let the tongue stay in his mouth, his own
tongue feeling the hot wet caress of the intruding organ. 

 Benny's heart stomped inside his chest. He was so overwhelmed with
happiness in holding Ray so close that he feared some intense stroke. Ray,
on the other hand, felt as if his brain had just gone AWOL. He feared that
if he stopped to think about what was happening, he might become so
stunned he would not be able to function anymore. He put his hand on the
back of Benny's neck and pulled the Canadian closer. 

 Both men just followed their instincts. They were lost in a fierce kiss,
and suddenly a different need crept over them. They just couldn't take
their hands off each other. A loud nasal breath was heard in the quiet
apartment, and a few moans, too. 

 Ray's hands roamed on Benny's back and moved down to envelop the Mountie.
Standing so close, it was impossible not to feel a distinct bulge on his
partner's groin. The fact ignited a whole chain of reactions in his own
body. Suddenly just hugging and kissing was not enough. 

 The moaning got louder as Benny felt the response on Ray's body, and he
also used his hands to feel the slim, leek body. He couldn't bear just
getting cloth under his hands anymore, so he took off Ray's suit, letting
it all on the fall the floor. Benny was rewarded when Ray slipped his
suspenders off his shoulders and agile hands sneaked under his Henley to
find his warm soft skin. Both men shuddered. 

 The sensations were too much. They tumbled towards the bed, now groping
each other much more intensely, clothes being loosened or lost on the way.
The frantic motion kept the pace as they reached the bed. Ray sat on it
and looked up to see Benny. 

 Time stood still as Benny and Ray looked at each other, fully aware of
what they were about to do. As they did so many times in their line of
work, only a glance was enough to communicate their deepest thoughts. The
electricity exchanged in their look made both even more lustful. It was
Ray who first broke the spell and got back into action. 

 "Benny," Ray panted as he struggled with the riding pants. "Are you
sure?" The cop wanted to give his partner every chance of making a
conscious decision, not a choice based on raging hormones. 

 "Of course I am", said Benny, as eager to get rid of Ray's clothes as Ray
was to get rid of Benny's. "I want you so much, Ray." 

 That was good enough for Ray. "Ok, that settles it". 

 In a swift motion, Ray brought down Benny's pants and boxers and plunged
to capture the Canadian's navel with his lips. Benny gasped, his eyes
squeezes shut as his world seemed to flutter. Suddenly, he took a step
back, ceasing all contact with Ray and dropping to his knees to untie his
boot laces at supersonic speed. 

 In minutes, they were totally naked, exploring each other bodies eagerly.
Ray laid Benny on the bed and climbed unto his beautiful Canadian, his
body sprawled, using his mouth to tease and lick rosy nipples. Benny could
not believe the sensations his body was experiencing. Everything seemed so
new. 

 Ray was also making debuts of his own, but he could not stop to wonder at
that time. This was the first time he had a male lover. And what a
beautiful one he was. Ray imagined he would have time later to gaze at
that pale splendour. His mobile hands were intent on mapping out the
amazing body quivering under his touch. His lips wanted nowhere else to go
but over every inch of Benny's soft warm skin. 

 Benny moaned when a flaring tongue licked his neck. He felt so powerless
under Ray's caresses, unable of nothing more than opening himself up to
the man that he loved so much it amazed him. Or so he thought, until he
felt Ray's erection pressed against his hip. In that moment, Benny knew
what he wanted. 

 It took him a fraction of a second to grab Ray by his shoulders and flip
them both in the tiny bed until he was facing down wide green eyes filled
with lust. Their cocks touched and Ray keeled. Benny felt the sparkles
from the touch rake his body and move his hips. 

 "Oh, God", whispered Ray. 

 Benny kept moving, and the sensations swept all over him. Ray moaned and
his hips moved as if they were a separate entity from his body. Lost in
pleasure, the Italian felt a familiar pressure in his groin following the
marvellous sensations his Benny was showing his body with thrusts. 

 Both were very excited. It did not take long to Benny climax with a cry,
spurting his hot milk on Ray's body. Almost at the same time, a few quick
thrusts later, the Italian also exploded in ecstasy, yelling for Benny.
Their seed mingled between their bodies and Benny's half-functional brain
registered the symbolism of their union. 

 Instinctively, both tried to embrace the other, and there was an awkward
moment for a second, until Ray let Benny's arms wrap him. He rested his
head on a beautiful Canadian chest, sighing deeply, sated. 

 They stayed like that for a long time, not talking, not breaking the
spell. Their hearts slowed to the normal rate. Their joint seed cooled in
their bodies. 

 They were as if one. 

 "Benny...." 

 "Yes, Ray?" 

 A pause. Then a lopsided grin. "Do you have any idea how many questions I
have right now?" 

 Another grin. "I have some, too. Do you want to pose yours right now?" 

 Ray lifted his head to meet grey-blue eyes. The words died in his mouth.
All his answers were in those eyes. 

 "Nah. Benny. Strange, they just disappeared." 

 Benny gave his lover a beautiful smile. "Good. Mine are gone, too, Ray."
He embraced his Italian a little bit tighter. "Now, just to be sure these
questions don't come back, please kiss me." 

 "That will be my pleasure, Benny." 

 The End. 

End