Not That Man     Not That Man

 by Mia Athlas

  

 Author's Website: 

 Disclaimer: The characters used here, sadly, do not belong to me. I have
received no monetary reward, I do it simply for fun. This is an adult only

story, if you are under 18 please go elsewhere for entertainment. 

 Author's Notes: This little story started out as a challenge-- of a sort
:) I thought some of you might enjoy it too, so here it is. Feedback
welcome. 
Warnings: A little b/d, first time :) Oh, not betaed-sorry but it just
didn't seem long enough to bother. 

 Story Notes: 

 

 

 Not That Man
 By Mia Athlas 

 "Maybe I can't be that person anymore," Fraser hissed, before turning and
walking out the door. 

 "Can't be what person?" Ray said in surprise, before realising that
Fraser was already in the hallway. "Shit." He shook his head trying to
chase the sleep away and stepped out into the hall, just catching Fraser
by the arm before he started down the stairs. "Hold up a minute, Frase!" 

 Fraser stopped, but didn't turn around to face him. "I'm sorry Ray. Just
forget I said anything. I'll see you tomorrow." 

 "No way in hell you're walking down those stairs without some sort of
explanation, my friend. So are you going to come peacefully back into the
apartment or do I have to use force?" 

 Fraser turned and looked at him finally, his lip turning up slightly.
"Force? You'd actually try to physically manhandle me?" 

 Ray let go of his friend's arm and stepped back with a frown. "What do
you think?" he challenged. 

 "I think that you are bluffing. No, more accurately, I know you are
bluffing." 

 Ray couldn't help the wry grin on his face. "Well, yeah. But you almost
believed me for a minute. I had you going there, didn't I?" 

 "No Ray." 

 "No? Damn. See right through me don't you?" Ray jerked his head back
toward the open door. "So how about it...manhandling aside, are you going
to come in or do I have to follow you all the way back to the consulate?" 

 Fraser sighed and nodded. "Alright, Ray. You win. But you may not like
what I have to say." 

 "I'll take my chances, Frase." Ray followed his partner back into the
apartment. As soon as they were both inside with the door closed, he
forced Fraser to look at him. "Spill it...why are you here at one in the
morning? I'm sorry I said that you were being inconsiderate. You woke me
up. I was still half asleep. I didn't mean it you know. You're welcome
here any time. Even in the middle of the friggin' night. What's wrong?" 

 Fraser slumped down onto the couch, in an uncharacteristic manner,
shaking his head. "I don't know what to do, Ray. For the first time in my
life I truly feel that I've lost my direction." 

 "What are you talking about?" Ray sat down beside his friend, resting one
hand on Fraser's leg. 

 The Mountie stared at the floor for a good minute before answering. When
he did Ray had to strain to hear the quiet words. 

 "I need...something, Ray and I don't know how to ask for it." 

 Ray rubbed his friend's leg, feeling the cold touch of fear in his
stomach. "Just say it. Always works for me." 

 Fraser leaned back and closed his eyes, rubbing his fingers across his
forehead. "Yes. You always have been adept at saying what you feel.
Me-I've never learned that particular talent." 

 Leaning closer, Ray let his other hand rest beside his first on Fraser's
leg. "Listen. Really. Just ask. Whatever it is, we'll fix it. I'm your
partner. We will fix it, I swear." 

 Fraser opened his eyes, and looked down at the hands gripping his thigh.
"I believe you mean that." 

 "Damn right! Come on Fraser, it can't be that bad." 

 Fraser put his hand slowly and carefully over top of Ray's, where they
rested on his leg. "Actually, yes. It can be that bad. End of our
friendship bad." 

 Ray felt the cold move upward from his stomach. "What do you mean? You
want to call it quits? Vecchio's back isn't he and you couldn't think of a
way to tell me? That's what this is all about. Goddamn it!" Ray started to
pull away only to be stopped abruptly when his partner didn't let go of
his hands. 

 "No," Fraser said quietly, as he gripped Ray's hand tightly. "It's not
that. You may want to end our friendship...not me." 

 Ray forced himself to calm down. "Me?" 

 "Yes, Ray." 

 "Fraser, look at me." Ray waited until the other man raised fearful eyes
to his own before he continued. "There's nothing you could tell me, short
of that you hate me and never want to see me again that would end
this...duet." 

 "Do you truly believe that?" Fraser seemed to be studying him, as if
attempting to gage his determination. 

 "Truly, absolutely and without any hesitation, my friend. So, come on.
Let's have it. You're pregnant right?" Ray half grinned as Fraser's eyes
widened, then crinkled in amusement. 

 "No, Ray." 

 "You killed someone on the way here, you wrecked my car, you're going
back to Canada, you're lusting after my body, you and Stella are having an
affair..." Ray stopped as his partner's hand tightened painfully around
his own. Shit. 'Please don't let it be Canada. Please don't let it be
Canada,' he chanted to himself. "Okay," he began with a voice that was
surprisingly steady. "I'm guessing we're playing 20 questions here."
Fraser didn't respond, just kept his head down, determinedly staring at
their clasped hands. Ray took a deep breath. 

 "You and Stella?" 

 He was relieved to see a small decisive shake of the Mountie's head. 

 "You killed someone?" 

 Another shake. 

 Ray screwed up his courage and made himself ask the difficult question.
"You're going back to Canada?" He just knew that was it. 

 Another shake, but the tension in his friend's body increased as the
options dwindled. Ray thought for a minute. What else had he asked? His
eyes widened. 

 "You're lusting after my body?" he asked in disbelief, his voice not
quite as steady any longer. 

 Fraser sat perfectly still. He could have been a statue. Ray stared at
him with an open mouth. "Really?" 

 His partner nodded minutely, but didn't lift his eyes. "That's not all,"
he whispered. 

 "Okay...as if that wasn't enough," Ray stopped as he felt Fraser lean
away from him. "No, no. It's okay, really. God, I just can't believe it,
Frase. I never knew you batted for the other team, y'know. Wow. It's
really okay. I mean it's really okay." Ray found that he was grinning.
Fraser obviously heard the change in his voice and finally found the
courage to look up. His eyes met with Ray's and filled with astonishment. 

 "Ray?" 

 In response to the unasked question, Ray leaned forward and pressed his
lips lightly to the other man's. It was only a brief touch but it still
took Ray's breath away. "It's dandy. So far above okay, I don't quite know
what to say." 

 Fraser smiled then and Ray could almost see the weight list off of his
shoulders. God, he really was one of the most attractive people that Ray
had ever met. They grinned at each other foolishly for a moment, hands
still tightly clasped, before Ray forced his mind back to the matter at
hand. 

 "See-wasn't that easy? Now, how about you spill the rest?" 

 Fraser's cheeks turned bright red and he immediately resumed his stance
staring down at his hands. Ray decided that enough was enough. He shifted
to the floor. Pushing Fraser's knees apart, he knelt in between them,
forcing the other man to look at him. "I'll go first. Would that make you
feel better?" 

 Fraser shot him a look of relief and nodded mutely. 

 "I've been lusting after your bod for months now. I gotta tell you, Ben.
I'm a pretty open-minded guy. Ain't much you can ask that's gonna shock me
or put me off. I'm pretty much an all-purpose kinda guy. Whatever it is
that you think you can't ask-believe me, you can." Ray paused, considering
how he could make whatever Fraser needed to say easier. "Do you want me to
guess? You know like before?" 

 Fraser shook his head. "My uh, tastes are a bit 'alternative'," he said
finally. 

 "Yeah, buddy, I kind of figured that one out already. Alternative how?" 

 Fraser blushed again, and stammered, not getting anything coherent out. 

 Ray smiled. "You like to dress up in women's clothing?" he guessed. 

 "No, Ray," Fraser said in alarm, "that was just an assignment." 

 Ray looked at him oddly and made a mental note to get the goods on that
particular 'assignment' later. At least Fraser was talking. "You're into,
what'd'they call it...when you choke someone during sex for the oxygen
deprivation." 

 Fraser shook his head and didn't even tell him the proper word to use.
The man must really be freaked. 

 "You like guys to piss on you? Or the other?" 

 "Goodness no!" Fraser declared, turning an even brighter shade of red. 

 This was actually getting to be fun, Ray decided. He leaned in and
propped his elbow up on Fraser's leg. "I know; you want to be led around
on a dog collar, while being called 'bitch'." 

 "Uh, no, no...no...well, I uh...I don't think so," Fraser stammered. 

 Then Ray got it. Ray lowered his voice, feeling himself hardening. "You
like to be tied up, don't you. Controlled." 

 Ray knew without a doubt he was right when Fraser took a sharp breath.
"Maybe a little light pain sometimes to sweeten the experience?" 

 Fraser pushed Ray back slightly and sank down onto the floor with him,
wrapping his arms around Ray tightly, resting his head on his shoulder.
"Yes," he whispered. "Yes. I need it so badly, Ray. I feel like I'm going
to explode." 

 Ray wrapped his arms around his friend, rubbing his back, trying to sooth
the shudders that seemed to have overtaken Fraser. "All you had to do was
ask. When are you going to learn that all you have to do is ask." 

 "I'm asking," Fraser said in a wavering voice. "I'm asking." 

 "I'm saying, yes. Whatever you want. Whenever you want." 

 Fraser pulled back and looked at him. "I want you." 

 "Done," Ray said with a shaky grin. "Me too, you." Ray grimaced. Not the
most elegant declaration, but he couldn't find the words. Fraser seemed to
understand. Happiness and relief flooded his face in the instant before he
pulled Ray hard against him, taking his lips in an intense, demanding
kiss. Ray gave back as good as he got, throwing his whole body into the
moment. When they pulled away again, they were both panting. 

 Ray put a hand on his partner's chest, stopping him from diving right
back in. He tried to gather his wits about him. "Hold up. Before we do
anything about your alternative tastes, I need time to get some things
together. I won't do anything unsafe you know?" 

 "I'm counting on it," Fraser answered breathlessly. "That can wait till
maybe the weekend?" 

 Ray nodded. 

 "You can come to the consulate on Friday night. We'll have the weekend
there by ourselves," Fraser said hopefully. 

 "It's a date. Two days away. I don't know if I can hold out that long,
Frase." Ray looked pointedly down at his straining erection. 

 Fraser's tongue darted out and wetted his lips, in the same little caress
that Ray had seen him do a thousand times. Every time it went straight to
his groin, and now was no exception. 

 "No need to abstain, Ray. I may need the 'alternative' things
occasionally, but not all the time." Fraser leaned back, pulling Ray with
him until the Mountie ended up on his back with Ray on top of him. 

 Ray grinned and looked down at Fraser. "God, if I'm dreaming still, no
one had better wake me up or I'm gonna kick their ass!" With that, he
finally let go of Fraser's hands and put his own to work on the incredible
amount of buttons on his Mountie's uniform.  

 --Friday Night at the Consulate-- 

 "I'm sorry Ray, I think I've made an error in judgement," Fraser said,
while staring pointedly at the floor. 

 "What'd you mean, Frase? Little too late for chickening out now, don't
you think?" Ray answered softly from behind the Mountie, his breath hot
against Fraser's ear. 

 "Well, technically, I do believe you said that this was my last chance to
end this." Fraser tested the silver cuffs that threaded through the rungs
of the chair and held his arms behind his back. He looked over his
shoulder at his partner in a silent request. *Don't listen, don't end
this. Give me what I need* 

 Ray regarded him carefully, and Ben could feel the colour seep up into
his face. Finally, his partner knelt in front of him-clothes discarded in
a heap to the side, legs spread so that Fraser had a clear view of his
friend's obvious erection. 

 "What's the problem, Ben?" 

 Fraser's eyes flicked up then quickly back down with a heated blush.
"She's watching. I can't possibly do this while she's watching." 

 "Who?" Ray looked around the empty room. The Ice Queen and Turnbull had
long since headed out for the weekend. The consulate was closed, the
blinds drawn. They were completely and utterly alone. 

 Fraser shifted, trying to get comfortable on the rough fabric of the
chair. Odd how something that had always seemed so soft when he was
wearing his uniform could be so harsh against his bare skin. "The Queen,"
Ben whispered. 

 "The Queen?" Ray looked over his shoulder and Fraser saw his eyes pause
on the large portrait of the Queen behind him. The woman's eyes were
relentless-- staring at him. Mocking him. Staring disapprovingly at their
little game. "That Queen?" Ray lifted the dildo he was holding in his hand
and pointed to the portrait. Fraser blushed harder. 

 "Ray! Show some respect please!" he said in dismay. 

 "Fraser, only you would stop a perfectly good bondage scene in the middle
because the Queen of freakin' England was watching. Jeesh. What am I going
to do with you?" 

 Fraser looked down at the floor again causing a lock of his hair to fall
carelessly across his forehead. "You are quite right, Ray. My behaviour
has been appalling. I'll leave it to you to determine a proper
punishment." 

 "Yeah. You've got that right Mountie. Leave it all to me. I've got just
the thing for you." 

 Fraser felt Ray stand and walk behind him but didn't look up. He felt his
partner's breath on the back of his neck as he leaned forward to whisper
in his ear. "You are such a freak. But you're my freak and tonight I'm
going to prove it." 

 Fraser shivered as he felt leather trail softly down his back. 

 The end 

 Thanks for reading! 

End