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      	  Park Bench 
 by Aingeal  

 Disclaimer: I don't own or control the boys.but you can't tell can you?
;)

 Author's Notes: Naughty me! Another unbetaed piece. But this one did have
later edits.

 Story Notes: The image of holding hands is such a powerful one this short
story just begged to be written.

 

 It was a beautiful spring day in Chicago. The sun was shining but
thankfully for stranded Canadians it was not too hot. If Ray Vecchio were
more of a romantic he would have imagined he could hear birds singing! Yet
it was a beautiful day and he wanted to make the most of it,so when Fraser
had suggested they go to the park he had readily agreed.

 That was why they were here now, sitting on a park bench, watching the
world go by and just enjoying each other's company. However the more he
looked around, the more uncomfortable Ray felt. Everywhere he could see
couples holding hands, hugging or even making out in public. All these
public displays of affection were beginning to annoy him. It wasn't as if
he had anything against them, it was just he didn't have that opportunity.

 Fraser had noticed how quiet Ray had gone. It wasn't like Ray to be
quiet. It wasn't in the Italian's nature. In the partnership Ray was
always `the loud one' and Fraser liked that. He admired the way Ray could
so easily express himself through his words, his tone and his actions. It
was a skill Fraser sadly lacked in comparison to Ray. Ray's
uncharacteristic silence now bothered him so he decided to ask what was
wrong.

 "Ray?" Fraser asked just to get Ray's attention.

 For a moment Ray still seemed miles away but then he answered, "Yeah,
Benny?"

 "I was just wondering, Ray, is there something wrong?"

 "Nah." Ray tried to shrug it off but somehow he couldn't. "There's
nothing wrong, Benny. I mean here we are, nice day, in the park, what
could be wrong?"

 Ray's tone alerted Fraser to the fact there was something wrong, no
matter what words he might use.

 "Ray there is something wrong. You've been very quiet. I doubt you've
uttered more than five words in the past fifteen minutes."

 "It's nothin', Benny." Still Ray tried to shrug it off.

 Ben, however, could not leave things alone...... "It's bothering you,
Ray. I would think that would make it a `something'"

 Ray sighed and leaned back against the bench. He hadn't wanted to spoil
the day but he knew the more he denied it the pushier Fraser would get and
they would end up fighting about it if he wasn't careful. It was such a
silly little thing, why should it matter? He now leant forward, putting
his elbows on his knees and holding his head with them. Sheepishly he
turned to Fraser.

 "You'll think it's stupid," he said.

 "No I won't Ray. Tell me, please." Ben resorted to the `big-eyed Mountie
look' and Ray finally relented.

 He leant back against the bench once more and looked at the sky. The sky
happened to be blue with a hint of grey, `the colour of Fraser's eyes', he
thought.

 "Okay, Benny here goes," he paused again not sure if he should continue
but the look in Fraser's eyes, that odd mix of belief and love, encouraged
him. "Holdin' hands," Ray said.

 "Holding hands?" Fraser repeated puzzled.

 "Yeah," Ray almost laughed. "Look around, Benny. What do you see?"

 "Well I see grass, trees, a concrete pathway, all the things you'd expect
to find in a modern, urban, park."

 "The people, Benny!" Ray raised his voice. "Look at the people!"

 "Which ones?"

 "Look the whole time we've been here we've seen couples, Benny!" Ray
waved his hands to indicate all these couples across the park. "Young
ones, old ones but couples right? And these couples....they're doin' the
things couples do. They're holdin' hands, givin' each other a hug, kissing
each other. Things you do when you love someone."

 "And this bothers you, Ray?" Fraser still didn't get it.

 "Yes!" Ray exclaimed.

 "Why?"

 "Because we can't do that, Benny!" Ray sighed and stared at the ground.
"We're a couple right? We're in love, right? But we can't hold hands in
public `cos people would act like we'd got the plague or somethin'. All
the Catholics in the park would figure we'd be goin' straight to hell, all
the mothers would grab their kids and run away like we were monsters and
it's not fair!" Ray had raised his voice again.

 He was actually close to tears. It was odd this had never bothered him
before. He hadn't minded not doing any of those things with Fraser in
public; they could show their love in private. This was completely out of
the blue for Ray. He'd never thought about how much he had taken public
expressions of love and affection for granted before. With girlfriends,
with his ex-wife, he could do all that but with Fraser, the person he was
going to spend the rest of his life with, he couldn't. He couldn't because
society at large said it was wrong.

 With all these thoughts spinning through his head he hardly noticed when
a strong hand took hold of his. Fraser was holding his hand. Without
thinking their fingers interlaced. Ray turned toward Fraser, Fraser was
smiling.

 "Benny!" he whispered. "What are ya doing?"

 "I'm holding your hand, Ray," Fraser stated. "I thought that was
obvious."

 "But we're in public!" Ray hissed.

 "I realise that, Ray. However I want to hold your hand and it would seem
you want to hold mine. I don't see any reason why we can't."

 "People will see!" Ray exclaimed.

 "Maybe, Ray but I doubt it. Even if they do I don't see it's any of their
business. I happen to want to hold the hand of the man I love. If other
people have a problem then it is their problem but their judgement won't
affect me and it shouldn't affect you."

 Ray lightly squeezed Fraser's hand and looked at their joined hands. It
just looked right and natural, why should anyone have a problem with it?
Ray smiled and didn't care what other people thought about this one,
simple act. What was important was what he thought, what he felt, and what
he did feel was that he had difficulty remembering when he loved Fraser
more.

 "Thanks, Benny," Ray's smile got bigger. He was tempted to whisper his
next words but decided not to. "I love you," he said aloud. No one was
around to hear but again Ray didn't care. He wanted the whole world to
know how he felt, even if he couldn't tell that world.

 "It's alright, Ray. I love you too," Fraser smiled back in reply.

 So they sat there for a long time, just holding hands. It didn't matter
who saw them because that afternoon they were protected by the love they
showed through the simple joining of hands. 

  
  

End Park Bench by Aingeal 

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