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      	  Truth 
 by Sage  

 Author's Notes: Thanks to tx_tart and secret_garden for the wonderful
betas!

 

 





 

The Third Night

 



 

"I spy something...maroon."

 

"The lipstick worn by the model on the Versace billboard."

 

"You suck. Your turn."

 

"I spy...something gray."

 

"Gray? Gray, Fraser!? Every goddamned thing around us is gray. It's two in
the friggin morning!"

 

Fraser sighed. "Right you are, Ray. Your turn."

 

"Oh," Ray said. Well, hell. "This sucks."

 


 ~ 




 

The Fourth Night 





 

"Union."

 

"US Steel."

 

"Metal."

 

"Pedal."

 

"Flower."

 

"Girlie."

 

"Woman."

 

"Stella."

 

"Ahem...dating."

 

"Hopeless."

 

"Ray, surely you don't--"

 

"We've both got lousy luck with women, Frase. Unlike goddamned Cavelli up
there..." Ray pounded the steering wheel and collapsed back into his
slouch. "Why the fuck are we here, anyway? What kind of guy walks out on a
girl like that in the middle of the night? It's after three. He ain't
going nowhere."

 

"I daresay you're right."

 

"Why would he leave that? She's smart and nice and classy and almost as
squeaky clean as you are. Plus, she's a babe. I don't care what Dewey
says, no way does she know what he's up to."

 

"We'll know for certain soon enough, Ray."

 

"Lucky fucker. Curled up in bed, not a care in the world, while we sit
here and stare at dark windows all night."

 

"Even still, it's up to us to confirm that until our shift is up."

 

"This sucks."

 


 ~ 




 

The Fifth Night 





 

"Truth or Dare."

 

"What?" Fraser snapped out of his doze, half-startled.

 

"Truth or Dare, Frase. Come on, help me stay awake here. Forty-seven
minutes 'til the Duck Boys show. Unless they're late."

 

"I've never played."

 

"What, you didn't have games when you were a kid?"

 

"Of course we did, Ray. I didn't say I was unfamiliar, only that I never
participated in playing Truth or Dare."

 

"Yeah, and? Explain that." Ray gave him a look like he was interested, or
at least interested in something to keep them awake a little longer.

 

"I'm sure you had sleepovers as a boy. When we lived in Inuvik, I
sometimes spent the night at Innusiq or Mark's house."

 

"You never participated? What, you just watched?"

 

"I...perhaps I misspoke. Sometimes we played a variation that you might
call Dare or Double-Dare."

 

"Yeah, we usually skipped the Truth part, too. What kind of dares did you
take?"

 

"Foolish ones," Fraser said around a yawn. "Climbing ice-laden trees.
Jumping off the roof into the snow. Swimming across the Mackenzie River.
That sort of thing." Fraser shrugged. His voice had gone kind of quiet.

 

"Sounds fun," Ray said. "We mostly just dared each other to steal crap or
climb fire-escapes." Ray shut his mouth. He wasn't about to mention the
circle-jerks and size contests. "But...that sort of sounds like you were
participating, you know?"

 

"In Dare or Double-Dare, yes."

 

Hunh. "Yeah, okay."

 

Just then, a tan Oldsmobile turned into the street, drove down the block,
made a U-turn, and started creeping up behind them. Ray watched for a
couple of minutes, staring into the glare of headlights, until he saw a
woman get out in front of an apartment building and realized it was just
the morning Trib. "Paper route," he said, even though Fraser probably
already knew. Fraser made a noncommittal noise. His eyes were fixed on the
building ahead and to the left, the one with their suspect and his
girlfriend.

 

"Light in the bathroom."

 

Fraser nodded. "The silhouette was male."

 

"Now does he go back to bed or get up for the day?"

 

They watched in silence. A shower and shave would take a little while. A
quick leak would take no time. The light stayed on.

 


 ~ 




 

Huey and Dewey arrived just in time to see Cavelli pull out into the
street in his new silver Porsche. There was no way they were going to be
able to pursue in Dewey's ancient hatchback, so Ray gunned the GTO and
cursed Dewey for not checking a real car out of the motor pool the night
before.

 

Turned out Cavelli was just going to the gym, god knows why at that hour,
but it left Ray and Fraser some more time to sit and stay awake while they
waited for Huey and Dewey to go grab themselves a nice generic Chevy and
get back.

 

"Truth or Dare," Ray said, and winked at Fraser.

 

Fraser laughed. "We don't have much room in here for dares, Ray."

 

"Sure we do. Pick one."

 

"All right, then. Dare."

 

"Keep an eye on the gym. I gotta think of something." Fraser made a face,
but Ray just gave him a long look. What could he dare the Mountie to do?
He was in flannel and jeans for the stakeout, so he couldn't make him do
something embarrassing to the uniform. They weren't twelve-year-old kids,
either, which changed things. And it wasn't like when Ray was in college
playing stupid drinking games, either, which really changed things. "This
is hard. You jump off buildings, you jump out of moving vehicles, you jump
onto moving vehicles--when they're on fire, even." Ray glared at him.
"This sucks. I can't think of anything you wouldn't already do."

 

"I couldn't do much of that inside the car anyway, Ray." And Fraser's
voice was doing a funny thing, low and rough, and there was something in
it that made Ray wonder if Dare and Double-Dare had included something
like size contests after all.

 

Ray was trying to think of something to say in reply when the unmarked car
pulled into the spot to their right and Dewey waved them off.

 


 ~ 




 

The sixth night was worse. Cavelli and his girlfriend had dinner, watched
TV, and went to bed. It was so bad that he actually asked Fraser to tell
him an Inuit story. A good one, with lots of action and maybe some blood
and gore. Fraser laughed at him, and then he did so. It was about whales,
whaling, whale guts, killer whales, sinking ships, and icebergs. After it
was over, Ray looked up at Fraser sharply and said, "Hey, that one didn't
have any Inuit in it."

 

Fraser snickered. "Right you are, Ray."

 

"But I actually asked for an Inuit story."

 

"That you did."

 

Ray blinked and started laughing. Fraser was fucking with him. He'd almost
forgotten he did that sometimes, when he was feeling good, relaxed, and
maybe bored out of his thick-headed skull. "What now?"

 

Fraser had a gleam in his eye. "Truth or Dare?"

 

Ray laughed again. "Sure. But we got the same trouble now as last night,
Frase."

 

"Perhaps. Still, I'm sure we could find a creative solution if we put our
minds to it."

 

That sounded really dirty, but Ray wasn't going to say anything. The only
dares he could think of were all along the lines of I dare you to take
your dick out and show me how you touch yourself. I dare you to suck me
off. I dare you to kiss me. And that was not gonna happen. Not gonna
happen at all, no matter how good their duet felt sometimes. No matter how
much Fraser crept into his fantasy-life.

 

"Well?"

 

"Huh?"

 

"Truth or Dare, Ray. Pick one."

 

Oh shit. "Dare."

 

"All right, I dare you to obey all traffic laws on the way home this
morning."

 

"Oh, god, that's so lame!" Ray yelled. "Fraser, give me a dare I can do
right now, right here, while we watch this guy sleep."

 

Fraser cocked his head. "All right, then. Tell me what your last sexual
encounter was like."

 

"What?" Ray stared, but Fraser just waited. He was blushing a little, but
his eyes were doing that defiant thing, daring him to chicken out. After a
moment, Ray said, "That sounds like a Truth, Fraser."

 

Fraser sat back with a wry smile. "I can't think of anything to dare you
that wouldn't be completely inappropriate or entirely juvenile."

 

Ray grinned. "Gotcha."

 

"Indeed."

 

"So, you wanna play Truth or Truth?"

 

"Not if it makes you uncomfortable, Ray."

 

Uh-huh. That was a deflection if he'd ever heard one. On the other hand,
it occurred to Ray that maybe for Fraser, Truth or Truth was a bigger dare
than Dare or Double-dare would be. He didn't open up, not unless his life
depended on it...and even then. "All right, truth. Last time I got laid,"
he said.

 

He settled back in his seat, eyes on the darkened apartment windows across
the way, and didn't look at Fraser. "You mean last sexual encounter with
another person, right?"

 

"Yes, Ray."

 

Fraser's voice was soft. Too soft. It made him want to do something
stupid, and before he could shut his mouth, he was doing it. "Guy or
girl?"

 

Fraser made a choked noise, but covered fast, saying, "Whichever was most
recent."

 

Ray smirked. "Been a while, regardless. Stella was most recent, but it got
interrupted by a certain red-suited Canadian before things really got
good. No biggie, though," he said, before Fraser could start. "It was dumb
to drag out the end like that. It's no good for either of us."

 

"It did seem rather...unfair."

 

"I guess," Ray said, not sure which of them Fraser was referring to, but
not willing to ask. "Truth or Truth," he said, "your turn."

 

"Truth, then."

 

Ray decided shooting the same question back at him would kind of suck,
since he knew Fraser hadn't gotten any since the bitch who nearly got him
killed, so he took it in the opposite direction. "Okay, when'd you lose
your virginity?"

 

"Ray!"

 

"Hey, you asked a sex question, now it's my turn."

 

"Uh..."

 

"No stalling."

 

"Well, define 'virginity', Ray. Do you mean specifically intercourse?"

 

Ray shrugged. "First time whatever it was you were doing felt like real
sex."

 

"Oh." After a long pause, Fraser added, "I was fifteen, I suppose."

 

"What, you suppose?" Ray prodded when Fraser didn't continue. "Tell me the
story already!"

 

"Ray, it's--"

 

"It's late, I'm tired, and you have to keep me awake. Tell me the story."

 

Fraser cleared his throat, took a deep breath, and then cleared his throat
a couple of more times before he started talking. "The first time it felt
like real sex. It was terribly awkward, of course, but I guess that's a
given at that age. Innusiq had found an issue of Hustler laying in the top
of a garbage bin in town. He stole it and showed it to me. We were very
close, you see, Ray..."

 

"I had buddies like that too. Kids you grow up with. I mean, Stella wasn't
around for everything."

 

"We read it cover to cover, such as the reading was, at least, and the
pictures of oral sex were...we'd never seen photographs like that before.
Naked women, certainly, but..."

 

"Nothing hardcore."

 

"Right."

 

"So you wondered what it felt like?"

 

"That's what he said exactly, and we agreed to try it." Fraser paused for
a moment and then laughed. "It's all we did that summer. We would go
hiking in the forest until we were sure no one would find us, and then..."

 

"Only the summer?"

 

"In the fall, a girl named Eloise started school with us. He became quite
taken with her."

 

"That sucks."

 

"It was a good summer, at least."

 

Ray was about to ask, You ever miss having friends like that, that you can
touch? when headlights appeared and pulled to the curb behind them. This
time Huey was driving. Ray let them know the place was dead and left them
to it.

 


 ~ 




 

"Sorry if I was prying," Ray said three streets away. He was obeying the
speed limit. He'd even waited for a light to turn green when there was no
traffic as far as he could see.

 

Fraser answered him in a quiet voice. "You weren't, Ray. Besides which, I
started it, so there's nothing at all to apologize for."

 

"You still wanna crash on my couch, so they don't take your day of rest
away?"

 

"As Turnbull still has Dief, that would be most welcome."

 

Ray nodded. After a minute, he added, "I didn't mean to bring you down."

 

"It's quite all right, Ray. I'm fine. Just thinking about old times."

 


 ~ 




 

It only took him a minute to make up the couch. They did this a lot, after
all. Still, Ray was feeling guilty and hovered too much until Fraser gave
him a look like he was unhinged. Finally, he brushed his teeth and went to
bed, where he lay kicking himself and trying to convince himself he wasn't
wigging out over how they'd both just kind of come out to each other, if
that's even what you called it in a case like this. Kids did stupid shit,
after all, especially at that age. It didn't mean anything in the long
run, except when it did, and while maybe it did for Ray, since sometimes,
not always, but sometimes it was a guy instead of a girl who made him turn
his head or turned his crank, but it wasn't like either of them were gonna
be marching in any parades anytime soon, or ever.

 

On the other hand, Fraser was the one who'd brought sex into it. He didn't
know what the hell was up with that. Probably they were just both worn out
from this hellish stakeout and not thinking clearly. Or maybe Fraser was
trying to surprise him. Fucking with him, like he did sometimes. And Ray
didn't mind, usually. It was cool to see Fraser exhibit an actual sense of
humor, even if he did get his chain yanked. Except this time it hadn't
really been all that funny.

 


 ~ 




 

The Seventh Night 





 

They got Cavelli at the big meeting at Angelino's, red-handed, as he
pushed and pushed and finally lost his temper and vocalized a threat
against the union head. It was going to be a helluva mess for the State's
Attorney, but between surveillance and what the warrants had turned up,
they'd got him. Conspiracy, extortion, bribing customs officials,
smuggling, plus he was in a whole heap of trouble with the longshoremen's
union and half a dozen shipping companies, too.

 

Ray finished the paperwork, wondering idly if the girlfriend would stick
around or if she would hightail it. Ray knew she could do better than this
creep, not that he had any personal interest at stake. It was just that
he'd spent a lot of time staring up at her apartment windows that week and
felt sort of like he knew her, kind of. He was curious what she'd do, if
she'd stick by Cavelli's side or throw him over for being a lying sack of
shit.

 

At the station, Fraser had spent a lot of time looking at her, with her
big, angry-hurt eyes and long, wavy hair, and Ray knew exactly what he
must be thinking about.

 

"You okay?" he nudged Fraser on his way back from dumping his files in
Frannie's inbox.

 

"Yes, quite."

 

"I'm done here. Home?"

 

"Please."

 


 ~ 




 

Ray pulled up in front of his apartment and Fraser looked up, surprised.
"Oh...I didn't realize."

 

"You were pretty lost in thought there. Come on."

 

"There's no need for me to stay over tonight, Ray."

 

"Tomorrow's Saturday, sleep in. Come on." Ray was out of the car, headed
for his building. Fraser could either insist or follow, and why would he
insist on sleeping in his office if didn't have to?

 

Upstairs, he opened a beer for himself and gave Fraser a glass of water.
"What gives?" he asked, settling on the couch beside him.

 

"I'm not sure what you mean, Ray."

 

"Truth or Truth."

 

"Ray."

 

"It's not going to kill you, you know." Fraser gave him a sharp look.
"What?" Ray scowled back at him. "Truth, Fraser. You're thinking about the
girlfriend, aren't you?"

 

"How did you know that?"

 

"Because I have been, too. Thinking how I'd feel if I found out the person
I was sleeping with was into that kind of crap. She swore she thought he
was legit, and we'll see whether she's telling the truth or not, but if
she is...man, that would suck."

 

"Yes." It was a whisper.

 

Ray waited a minute, hoping he wouldn't have to be an ass about it, but
Fraser didn't say anything else. Finally he gave him a look and said,
"Tell me?" Fraser didn't respond, except to glare down at his glass of
water on the table, so Ray took a breath and repeated, "Tell me about
Victoria."

 

Fraser shook his head.

 

"Please? You know I read the file. Welsh told me she really fucked you
up."

 

"Ray, no."

 

"Fraser. Truth or Truth."

 

"No."

 

"Okay, let me ask you this. When was the last time you let someone give
you a hug? And I don't mean Frannie throwing herself at you."

 

Fraser met his eyes, annoyed. "Two Sundays ago. It was Mrs. Vecchio, and
it took place at the end of the evening after the family dinner. Is that
sufficient for you?"

 

"No." Ray reached out and pulled Fraser toward him. "Let me do this. I
want to."

 

Fraser didn't budge. "I don't need your pity, Ray."

 

Ray's eyes flashed. They'd done this, mostly with Ray the one having the
pity-party, but still. They'd done this. "What, so I'm not allowed to be
your friend, is that it? Jesus, Fraser, you had a shitty thing happen to
you a long time ago, and we've had a weird, stressful week, or didn't you
notice?"

 

"I noticed," Fraser snapped.

 

Damn it. Stubborn fucking Mountie. "Truth or Dare, then."

 

"This isn't a game, Ray!"

 

Ray set his jaw. "I want to see the scar."

 

"What?"

 

"Show me where he shot you," Ray growled.

 

Fraser stood up, eyes dark with anger. He was tense like he was trying to
decide whether to walk out.

 

"Please?"

 

"Why?" Fraser was half-pissed, half desperate, and Ray hated himself, but
he had to do this. There was no backing away from it now.

 

Ray picked up his beer and took a long pull while he tried to put his
words in order. "Because you know all about Stella and how when she left,
it was like I was dead inside. You saw what it did to me. And I want to
know...I want to know what the hole in my partner's back looks like."

 

Fraser looked stricken and a little nauseous. The anger was fading,
though, and something like resignation was slowly creeping into his
expression. Ray watched, not saying anything, and after a minute, Fraser
took a deep breath and said, "Very well."

 

Then he turned around and stripped off his henley and undershirt.

 

"Jesus." It was a little above his waist, a little less than an inch to
the left of his spine. Fucking Vecchio had nearly paralyzed him. "Jesus, I
could throttle them both."

 

"Both?" Fraser's voice was a little muffled.

 

Ray was on his feet, too, moving closer. The scar tissue made a deep, pink
divot, with the long line of a surgical scar leading up and down from the
center. "Vecchio for his shitty aim. He nearly killed you. He nearly put
you in a chair for life. And her for being an evil murdering bitch from
hell to begin with."

 

Fraser laughed, sort of, except for how it sounded like shaking a bag of
broken glass. Ray's hand went instinctively to his shoulder, not thinking
about the warm, bare skin until his hand closed on it and Fraser's breath
choked off in his throat.

 

Fraser was turning to face him, too much written on his face and no words
coming out, and Ray did what felt right, which was to step in and put his
arms around him.

 

Fraser shuddered and fought for breath, fought for control. Ray just held
on. When Fraser finally came back to himself, Ray was saying, "That's it,
that's it. You're safe, okay? You're safe here. I've gotcha, you're safe
here."

 

Fraser's shaking had stopped, so Ray pulled back enough to see his face.
He still looked pretty shell-shocked, but he was hearing Ray, nodding.

 

"No words yet?

 

After a deep breath, Fraser opened his mouth, shut it, and shook his head.

 

"It's okay. Come here." Ray led the way back to the couch, sat down at one
end, and ordered Fraser to sprawl out beside him and do nothing more than
lie there. For once, Fraser obeyed.

 

Fraser was lying on his side, his head in Ray's lap, and with his left
hand, Ray was making long sweeps over Fraser's shoulders and back. His
right hand was soothing the muscles at the back of Fraser's neck. Ray
hadn't done this for anyone since Stella, but it was better like this
anyway because this was here, now, not trying to get back something that
was cold and dead and decades old. This was the present.

 

In his mind, a loud voice was warning him, Do not fuck up this
partnership, Kowalski, but there wasn't much he could do about it now.
Besides, it felt right. Fraser needed it, and Fraser had let him, had
trusted him enough to let him see. To let him inside to the dark spot he
kept everyone else out of. Fucking Vecchio. Fucking Victoria. Fucking
scar. Fucking bullet still inside it.

 


 ~ 




 

A little while later, Fraser rolled onto his back and looked up at Ray.
Ray pulled his hands away, giving Fraser a little room, but Fraser caught
his left hand in his own and pressed it over his sternum. The skin was
smooth, firm, and Ray could feel Fraser's heart thudding against his palm.

 

"Thank you," Fraser murmured, eyes falling shut. "This feels good."

 

"No problem."

 

A little later, Fraser opened his eyes, a slight frown wrinkling his brow.
"What you said about Stella leaving, Ray--that you felt dead inside. Do
you still feel that way?"

 

"Nah, not anymore. It just took me a while to see that there's way more to
life than just her, you know?"

 

Fraser nodded thoughtfully and shifted his feet on the arm of the couch.
After a long moment, he looked back up at Ray and stroked his thumb over
the back of his hand, where he was still pressing it to his chest. "I
wonder, that is, if you don't mind terribly much..."

 

Ray grinned down at him and squeezed his fingers. "Is this like a dare?"

 

Fraser gave him a dark little smile and squeezed back. "Touch me?"

 

"You sure?" Ray said, because probably, they really should talk before
things went any further, but Fraser was pulling Ray's hand in a slow,
heavy line down his chest. "I don't want to fuck anything up here."

 

"You won't," Fraser said. "We won't. Come down here and touch me," and his
mouth was open and a low sound was rumbling out of his chest, and Ray was
moving as Fraser pulled him, twisting around and over, falling forward
into Fraser's warm, solid bulk.

 

Ray held his face inches above Fraser's and gazed down. Fraser's hands
were on his back, stroking lower, shifting his hips, then rubbing back up
toward his neck. Ray could feel how much Fraser wanted this, needed this,
and not just by what was pressing up against the front of his pants. It
was in Fraser's eyes. This was bigger than sex, bigger than partnership,
even. It was...

 

"Truth," Fraser whispered, and Ray bent to taste it.

 



  
  

End Truth by Sage 

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