All that Matters to Me is that You are Here      All that Matters to
Me is that You are Here

 by Innusiq

  

 Author's website: http://www.tuktoyaktuk.net/innusiq/

 Disclaimer: Nah, you all know they aren't mine so why bother. ;)

 Author's Notes: Comments are always welcomed. 

 Story Notes: This was written as a "lyric challenge." I was given the
lyrics to a song and then I was to let it inspire me . . . I was having
problems so I wrote a story and put the song in it. A TYK to Lorie for the
lyrics.

 

 

 All that Matters to Me is that You are Here. by: Jenny Hill 

 Diefenbaker popped up off the floor from where he had been casually
lounging and made his way to the closed office door on instinct, knowing
it was time. Across town, the church bells were ringing in the five
o'clock hour, quitting time and while it was quitting time for most of the
people working in the greater Chicago area, one Canadian ambled on in his
tasks, oblivious to the hour and the impatient wolf at his door. 

 The wolf gave his pack mate a few minutes to get his act together but
when it became apparent that Fraser was in no hurry to meet their other
pack mate as they usually do, he knew he would have to take matters into
his own hands. 

 Diefenbaker loped back towards the desk but rather than returning to his
resting place in front he moved to Fraser's side and sitting down, he made
a murmuring sound to get the Alpha's attention. 

 Fraser looked up from his paperwork and down at his wolf. The look on
Diefenbaker's face was that of questioning and Fraser sighed at having to
explain himself and Ray again. 

 "I thought I made it perfectly clear this morning that we would be
walking home tonight." 

 Diefenbaker grumbled, not understanding why their other pack mate was
standing them up. 

 Fraser put his pen down with another sigh and turned to face Diefenbaker
before addressing his question. 

 "Ray explained to us this morning before dropping us off that he had an
important case he was going to be working on today if not late into the
evening and that he wouldn't be able to pick us up tonight as he usually
does." 

 Diefenbaker grumbled again in protest. 

 "Yes he most certainly did explain, I can't help it if you chose to sleep
during the short trip from the apartment to the Consulate rather than pay
attention to your surroundings. Really, you are getting too soft for your
own good." 

 This time, Diefenbaker grumbled to argue with Fraser. 

 "Yes you are and don't try to deny it. Now once I have finished with
these forms we will go. I think you can be a little more patient, don't
you?" 

 Diefenbaker huffed his response before turning and retreating to his new
lounging place in front of Fraser's office door as a reminder to the
Mountie that it was time for them to go home. 

 Fraser shook his head in disgust of his own wolf's behavior and
diligently returned to his work. 

 When Fraser put the last of the completed forms in his stack tray and
placed his pen down on the desk, it was nearing the six o'clock hour and
his wolf was fast asleep at the door. Fraser shook his head as he rose
from his desk and moved towards his coat rack to retrieve his brown
uniform jacket. Now it was time for them to go home. 

 Although it seemed like they were inseparable, there we some days when
the two best friends wouldn't see or talk to one another in-between Ray
dropping Fraser off at the Consulate and picking him back up in the
evening to head home. This day would be one of those days but where
normally Ray picked Fraser up at the end of the day, this day Fraser was
being left to walk home, his only company being a deaf wolf who was acting
a little indignant over having to walk home. 

 Fraser tried his best to ignore his wolf's slothfulness on their walk
home but some days it was down and out right impossible, especially when
Fraser himself was feeling a bit indolent as well due to having to walk
home. The difference between the two was where Diefenbaker was dreading
the walk alone Fraser was mainly missing his human companion. 

 Many changes had occurred in his life over the last couple years. First
and foremost, Fraser was forced to up and move from the country he
considered home for the whole of his life, as punishment for doing his
duty. Secondly, he met a very special person who became his best friend in
a matter of days and changed his life beyond recognition. Thirdly, he fell
in love with that person. The last change was the most important one of
all and Fraser thanked his lucky stars everyday that Ray was a part of his
life. 

 Fraser loved Ray Vecchio. It was as simple as that. Ray was his best
friend, partner and now, after months of each denying their feelings,
lover. Years of loneliness seemed to vanish the day he met the spicy man
of Italian decent and it was another two years before either of them knew
of the depth their relationship would wade into and finally submerge.
Fraser loved Ray and Ray loved Fraser, end of story but it wasn't just the
end but the beginning of a long life ahead. 

 A walk home now took a little longer than normal and that was only
because they lived a few more blocks away from the Consulate than his old
apartment on West Racine. Fraser had moved out of the apartment only a few
weeks previous and even though it was with mixed emotions, he knew the
move needed to be made. It wasn't a decision made out of fear for his life
in such a neighborhood or giving into Ray's own fears of his choice of
living quarters but a decision they had both come to in order for them to
start a life together. 

 Fraser paused outside his new apartment building to enter the access code
and in that time, Diefenbaker took up a seated position at his feet and
grumbled his negative attitude. 

 "Surely it wasn't that far of a walk. You and I have been on longer treks
than that and have managed just fine." 

 Diefenbaker grumbled again, stating his opinion all too clearly. 

 "You know, I am beginning to believe it isn't the city that is making you
soft but you yourself have chosen to be this way." 

 Diefenbaker refused to justify that comment with a response as he waited
in silence for Fraser to open the door. He couldn't understand the human's
constant need to dwell over something the man had no control over. 

 Once the door was opened, Diefenbaker maneuvered his way in and Fraser
followed straight after. "This isn't over, no matter how much you think it
is." 

 The wolf continued his way to the stairwell he knew this human pack mate
preferred to take. Why Fraser refused to use the elevator, which worked
perfectly fine, was beyond the wolf's understanding. He could handle the
three flights of stairs to their old apartment just fine but they now
lived on the eighth floor and it simply seemed more logical to the wolf
for them to use the elevator. 

 Fraser was aware of his wolf's opinion about the stairs but chose to
ignore it. He refused to give into Diefenbaker's laziness. If he had
anything to say about how the wolf lived his life, Fraser was going to do
everything in his power to make sure he lived a proper Arctic wolf life or
at least as close to being a perfect Arctic wolf life when they now lived
in Chicago. 

 Fraser followed Diefenbaker up the stairs and even though the wolf hated
using them he wasn't slacking as he ascended them. If anything, Fraser had
to push himself to keep up with his wolf. Once they were at the eighth
floor, Fraser opened the door leading to the corridor and Diefenbaker
continued on, leading the way to their apartment door. 

 The apartment door was only a few feet from the back stairwell and once
again, Diefenbaker sat patiently at the door, waiting for Fraser to catch
up. 'Maybe it is Fraser who is getting soft,' thought Diefenbaker. 

 "Don't give me that look. You do have the added advantage of four legs." 

 Diefenbaker huffed refusing to accept the excuse. 

 "Oh please." 

 Fraser reluctantly opened the door and allowed the opinionated wolf
entrance. Why he put up with him Fraser would never know. 

 Diefenbaker's first stop was his water dish to get a drink. It wasn't
done so much because he was thirsty after their long walk home but more to
make a statement to Fraser that it had been a long walk. 

 Fraser ignored the gesture, as always, and walked through the apartment
towards the bedroom where he hung up his uniform jacket, first and
foremost, before doing anything else. The uniform tie and shoes came off
as well and standing in his brown uniform shirt, trousers and suspenders,
Fraser was ready to relax for the evening. 

 Once he was "comfortable," Fraser came back out of the bedroom and headed
towards the kitchen to make dinner for Diefenbaker and himself. It was bad
enough he made the wolf walk home but Fraser knew he would never hear the
end of it if he let the wolf go hungry, even if it was only for an hour. 

 All was quiet in the apartment, too quiet. One man and one wolf couldn't
make too much noise on their own. Fraser wasn't yet use to the lack of
noise the new neighborhood and new apartment building offered. At least
when Ray was home, they had their bantered conversations but when he was
alone, there was only a deaf wolf to pick up Ray's part of the
conversation and there is only so much a deaf wolf could do to fill in the
void. 

 After dinner was prepared and placed on the table and in the food dish,
Fraser sat down to eat and at that moment, if it was even possible, the
apartment became even quieter. Fraser stopped eating and took a good look
around and after deciding he couldn't continue in such silence, he got up
and walked into the living room area to turn on the radio. It wasn't
conversation but at least there wasn't total silence. 

 Fraser returned to their small dinning room table while the commercial
that was playing over the radio station Ray liked to listen to ended and
the D.J. came on to introduce the first song in the next hour's set
rotation. When the song began playing, Fraser once again stopped in what
he was doing. It was that song, their song as Ray liked to refer to it.
Fraser smiled to himself as he sat listening to it. 

 It amazed him for the longest time how Ray could consider such a song as
"their" song for he couldn't see where Ray and he fit into it. It was a
very nice, sentimental song, Fraser had to agree but he just didn't
understand how it related to them until the day he finally broke down and
asked . . . 

 "Ray, why do you consider this 'our' song? I just don't understand,"
Fraser asked as he and Ray swayed their way across their new apartment to
the music that was playing over the radio. The apartment was basically
empty except for a few boxes here and there, which they had brought over
with their bedroom furniture. 

 Ray chuckled before responding. "You don't remember, do you?" 

 "I'm sorry to admit it but I don't, Ray. What is it I am suppose to
remember?" 

 "When we first heard this song together." 

 Fraser paused to listen and think of the moment Ray was referring to.
"I'm sorry Ray, but I don't remember." 

 Ray laughed again. "Go figure, Mr. Iremembereverything doesn't remember
one small important detail of his own life." 

 Fraser frowned, teasing Ray. "I thought I was Mr. Encyclopedia?" 

 "Yeah, yeah, Encyclopedia, Dictionary, Iknoweverything and
Remembereverything; you are all those things rolled into one. I can't
believe you don't remember." 

 "Perhaps you could . . . remind me . . ." Fraser suggested bring the
dance they had been spinning to a stop, looking at Ray with the most
serious look he could muster. 

 Ray almost bought the innocent act but then he was grinning ridiculously
wide before punching Fraser playfully on the shoulder. "Jerk." 

 But before Fraser had a chance to respond, Ray silenced any and all
thoughts in the Mountie's brain with a passion filled kiss that matched
and possibly surpassed any they had shared before. 

 Fraser's left arm was wrapped tightly around Ray's waist, pressing their
bodies together while his right hand gently caressed and massaged the nape
of Ray's neck. 

 Ray's hands were where they always went first and that was to rake
through Fraser's dark pelt. The hair was always the first stop before
Ray's hands journeyed South to Fraser's other interesting territories. 

 Ray pulled away first, taking a deep breath before resting his forehead
against Fraser's. Fraser too was breathing irregularly and they both just
stood still for a few moments to collect their thoughts. 

 Fraser had always remembered the song, he just didn't realize that was
the only reason Ray referred to it as their song. Fraser was the first to
speak. 

 "Ray, I could never forget the song that was playing over the radio when
we first kissed." He placed his right hand on Ray's cheek, stoking his
thumb under his eye. 

 "Yeah, I hoped you wouldn't but you had me going there for a moment." 

 Both men laughed quietly before returning to properly christen their new
apartment . . . 

 The song playing on the radio was "Summer Nights" by Maryanne Faithful.
He remembered the song by the lyrics alone and not by its name or the
artist. The only reason he knew the name of the song this day was due to
the D.J. introducing it before it played. Fraser sighed after remembering
their first kiss and their first night in the apartment and remembering
those two important moments in his life made the apartment seem even
emptier and quieter. 

 Fraser gave up on eating, dumping the remains of his food into
Diefenbaker's bowl, much to the wolf's delight, and retreated to the
bedroom to prepare for bed. It was nearing the eight o'clock hour and he
had an early day in the morning. 

 Once he was changed out of his remaining uniform articles, standing in
his boxer shorts and a T-shirt, Fraser took in the bedroom that he shared
with Ray. He was still getting use to living in the new apartment and when
he was left alone in it he felt just that, alone. It was much larger than
his old apartment but even though the size was greater, when Ray was
present, it didn't seem so big. 

 Fraser reached for the light switch turning the room's light off. He was
enveloped into darkness and for a moment Fraser simply stood in that
darkness taking in the new changes. It was quiet and dark. There were no
"big city" sounds of which he had become accustomed to hearing in the
night back on West Racine and the only light in the room was coming from
the moon, which was basically non-existent due to the overcast evening. It
was dark and quiet and he was alone. 

 It's not like Fraser had never been alone before or wasn't use to being
alone for he had been alone for the majority of his life but since meeting
Ray and being accepted into his family upon moving to the big city of
Chicago, Fraser was no longer alone. He no longer felt alone. Before, he
never recognized the feeling loneliness but once he became part of a
family, when he was alone, he knew it and ached for his family. 

 Fraser shook himself and then walked across the room toward the large
bed. Crawling in, he couldn't help but miss the body that normally lay
next to him but Fraser willed himself to concentrate on sleep. He should
have known it wouldn't work. He was too use to having Ray next to him,
touching him, smelling him. 

 Fraser tossed and turned, fluffed pillows, and uncovered and recovered
for an hour straight. When it finally became apparent to the man that
sleep would not come for him, he sat up finally giving up on any kind of
slumber. When he looked across the room at the clock and saw it was only
ten o'clock, he threw the covers off and went to get dressed. 

 When the light was turned back on in the room, Diefenbaker lay on the
floor watching Fraser move around, dressing. He too couldn't sleep with a
pack mate missing. 

 "Come on, Dief," Fraser called as he headed out of the bedroom and for a
change the wolf actually listened to a command. 

 Fraser walked over to the refrigerator and wrote a quick note on their
dry erase board and then grabbed his keys off the table. 

 "I think a nice walk will do us a world of good, don't you?" 

 Amazingly, even after all his complaining earlier, Diefenbaker barked,
agreeing with Fraser. 

 After years of living in the peace and quiet of the Northwest Territories
and the early months living in Chicago, yearning to be back in that quiet,
it was strange for Fraser to admit that anywhere in Chicago was too quiet
now but that is what had happened. Fraser had become so use to the sounds
of daily life in his old neighborhood that the simple, quiet life in their
new neighborhood was now too quiet and without Ray, sleep was near
impossible. 

 "Okay, let's go," Fraser said leading the way to the door.  

 Even though it only seemed like minutes had passed, in reality they had
been gone for an entire hour. Fraser and Diefenbaker exited the stairwell
for the second time that evening and ambled their way towards the door of
their apartment. 

 Diefenbaker's tail was swaying excitedly and Fraser had to grin about the
wolf's reaction to knowing that Ray was home. Even Fraser had to admit to
having a slight buzz over the knowledge that Ray was somewhere behind the
door. Fraser quickly opened the door and allowed Diefenbaker to enter
first and closed the door behind them. 

 The only light on in the apartment was coming from the open bedroom door
where Fraser watched Diefenbaker disappear through. Before heading there
himself, Fraser placed his keys on the dining room table and then followed
the trail Diefenbaker had taken. 

 Once he was inside their bedroom, Fraser found Diefenbaker curled up in
his allotted spot under the bedroom window and Ray was sprawled across the
bed fully dressed but completely down and out for the count. 

 Fraser smiled to himself as he approached the bed and began the loving
task of disrobing his lover. Ray's shoes and socks were the first to go
and when he moved up to remove Ray's sweater, Ray woke up. 

 "Hey Benny, I was waiting for you," Ray stated through a yawn. 

 "I can see that," Fraser responded as he pulled Ray's sweater up and over
his head. "I couldn't sleep." 

 Ray nodded again while yawing. "I read your note. You two have a good
walk?" 

 Ray now was finally looking at Fraser but he was letting Fraser do all
the work, which he knew Fraser didn't really mind. It was one of the rare
occasions where Fraser was able to pamper Ray and Ray allowed his lover
the opportunity to do just that. 

 "It was a walk Ray," Fraser said and he began to remove Ray's belt and
trousers. 

 Once Ray was down to his undergarments, Fraser stood him up and pulled
back the covers. Ray climbed in without being asked or instructed to for
he was beat. 

 Fraser then made haste in removing his own clothing and climbed in after
Ray. Once they were both settled, Ray with his back against Fraser's chest
and Fraser's arms wrapped around Ray's body, Fraser asked, "How's the case
going?" 

 Ray grunted a disgusted sound. "I'd rather not discuss it right now. I
thought we had a break but it just didn't pan out. Now we're back at
square one." 

 "I'm sorry Ray. Is there anything I can do?" 

 "Nah, it's just the way it is sometimes. Tomorrow we are gonna be meeting
with the victim's girlfriend again and see if there is anything she may
remember. Same old, same old, ya know?" 

 Fraser nodded his understanding and they both continued to lay together
quietly, each man breathing at a different rhythm. Ray's breaths steadied
out first but Fraser had expected that since Ray had been asleep when he
arrived home from his walk. 

 After a few minutes the familiar noise began. It began as it always did
as a slight wheezing, whistling noise but soon turned into a full fledge
nasal clearing sound. Ray was snoring and the apartment wasn't so quiet
anymore. Fraser didn't feel so alone anymore. 

 Fraser placed a kiss on the back of Ray's neck and settled himself down
for sleep, allowing the snoring noises of his lover to lull him into the
dream world, which claimed him quicker than he expected. Under the window
a certain wolf slept, snoring quietly as well. 

 The End. 

 Summer Nights
 Marianne Faithful 

 Winter's almost gone,
 Oh how I've waited so long
 For summer nights.
 When there's magic in the air
 And I don't have a care,
 All that matters to me
 Is that you are here
 On summer nights. 

 There's a little caf
 Where we can hear music play.
 They keep the lights turned down low
 It's a place where lovers go.
 There you'll hold me tight and say
 Our love will always be this way
 On summer nights. 

 At the end of the day
 We can go down to the bay
 And together hand in hand
 We will walk along the sand 
 On summer nights. 

 In our little caf
 We'll dance the night away
 And we know our love will be
 Always true eternally. 

 And when the moon begins to shine
 I can see that you are mine
 On summer nights. 

 On summer nights.
 On summer nights. 

End All that Matters to Me is that You are Here by Innusiq:
Joymakers@neo.rr.com

Author and story notes above.