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      	  Dishwasher-Safe 
 by belmanoir  

 Disclaimer: These characters are not mine, and I am making no money off
this.

 Author's Notes: Inspired by conversations with mrs_laugh_track and
snoopypez. Unbeta'd.

 Story Notes: This story is also available as a podfic by the lovely
zabira! It can be found at http://audiofic.jinjurly.com/dishwasher-safe.
(Also, it has been brought to my attention that washing sex toys in the
same dishwasher load as dishes can lead to cross-contamination. Please do
not do this at home. Thank you.)

 

 "You rented porn again?"

 "Come on, Stella, don't be like that."

 They both knew she was going to do it, but she held out on principle.
"It's just embarrassing," she grumbled. "I feel like an idiot. Who writes
the dialogue on those things anyway?"

 "Retarded monkeys," Ray said promptly, and she giggled in spite of
herself. "Anyway, I feel like an idiot handcuffing you to a kitchen chair
and pretending you're a perp, but I do it, right?"

 "You're the one who said we had to stop fucking in the supply closet at
the precinct after I watched you do an interrogation."

 "Right, because I was starting to have an autonumeric response to the
interrogation room."

 "Autonomic."

 "Yeah, whatever, I got a hard-on every time I went in there. That would
have been great for my career if anyone noticed."

 No one could have told from the bad cop he did for her that he thought it
was stupid. He was good about stuff like that. She sighed. "Can I blow you
so I don't have to watch it?"

 "Sure," he said generously, beaming again now that she had given in.
"You're the best, Stella."

 So there she was, kneeling on the floor at the foot of the bed with Ray's
dick in her mouth, trying to ignore the fake moans coming from the TV
behind her and concentrate on the very real moans coming from Ray, when
Ray went totally still.

 "Fuck me," the guy on the TV said, very clearly.

 Oh, crap, Stella thought. He rented gay porn by mistake again. She was in
for another month of Ray wanting to fuck her tits all the time. Which
wasn't such a bad thing, really. She pulled off and turned around to see
if at least either of the guys was cute.

 The sexy schoolteacher on the screen was wearing a shiny vinyl harness
with a tartan-patterned dildo in it, and fucking the guy in front of her
so hard her desk was sliding across the floor.

 Stella flashed to an image of Ray's back, Ray's forearms braced on the
bed--she looked at him. His mouth was open, and he was watching the screen
with a glazed expression.

 "Maybe--" Ray's voice cracked. "Maybe we should try that."

 "Yeah," Stella said. "Fuck me."

 ###

 "Ray, I don't do pink."

 "But Stella, it sparkles," Ray said. "Come on, that's hilarious."

 "Ray..."

 "Can I help you find anything?"

 They both jumped like guilty kids. They had ended up going to a sex shop
way on the other side of town, partly because Ray knew the one near where
they lived had been busted for selling kiddie porn and partly--although
they hadn't come right out and said it--because they didn't want to meet
anyone they knew.

 The salesgirl looked non-threatening enough, though. Stella plucked up
her courage. "We, um." She straightened and said in the tone she used on
judges who didn't take her seriously because she was a woman, "We want to
buy a strap-on and harness."

 "All right," the girl said cheerfully. "Have you used one before? What
size does your husband prefer?"

 ###

 Twenty excruciating minutes later, Ray and Stella were on the sidewalk,
Stella clutching a brown paper bag.

 "Dishwasher-safe," Ray said, shaking his head bemusedly, and that was it.
Stella cracked up, and Ray lost it a second later. They were still
laughing when they got to Ray's motorcycle (parked discreetly around the
corner). It was several minutes before they were safe to drive.

 They giggled through undressing, and through figuring out how the harness
hooked together, and then Stella totally lost the urge to laugh. "Are you
sure this is a good idea?" she asked, staring at her feet and then looking
at the floor to her left because when she looked straight down the
strap-on was right there. "I mean, shit, Ray, what if I hurt you?" I don't
know what I'm doing. Stella hadn't felt that way about sex with Ray since
she was seventeen.

 "Hey," Ray said, tilting her head up so she had to look at him. "You are
not gonna hurt me. We'll take it slow, okay?"

 "But what if I do?"

 He grinned at her. "Then we'll have to go to the emergency room and
everyone will know we've got the best sex life in Chicago."

 She bit her lip, nodded, but she still felt tense and awkward. Then Ray
did something she didn't expect. He got on his knees.

 He reached out and ran his thumb over the harness strap that circled
around her upper thigh. "I'm glad we sprung for leather," he said. A
tremor went through her. He saw it and grinned a little. He knew her too
damn well. Leaning forward, he ran his tongue over the leather. His tongue
was millimeters from her skin, and she couldn't feel it at all. Then he
pulled back, took a deep breath, and licked the sleek blue head of the
dildo.

 Suddenly Stella couldn't breathe.

 She watched Ray fit his mouth around it, as tentative as she'd been the
first few times she did this for him. But he found his rhythm quickly and
fuck, he was going down on her, and that was way hotter than she would
ever have expected. She thrust forward a few times, gently, and he slipped
two fingers inside her.

 She moaned loud enough that the lady upstairs who always yelled at them
to turn down the TV was going to complain the next time they ran into her
in the hall. Stella didn't really care. She was pretty sure she'd been wet
for days, and Ray's fingers sliding in and out of her felt unbelievably
amazing. "Please," she begged, thrusting forward into his mouth. "Fuck,
Ray, I'm almost there, come on--"

 "Nuh-uh-uh," he said, pulling off with a pop and slipping his fingers out
of her. A strand of saliva stretched from the strap-on to his lower lip
before he wiped it away, and that was it, she couldn't wait, she reached
down to just bring herself off.

 "I don't think so," Ray said, grabbing her wrist and grinning at her.

 "Cocktease." She tried to free her wrist, not very hard.

 He snickered. "Look who's talking," he said. "I thought you were gonna
fuck me."

 She narrowed her eyes at him.

 "Come on, Stella," he whispered. "Fuck my brains out."

 Stella wouldn't have believed it, but that was even hotter to hear than
it was to say. She had to swallow a couple of times before she could talk.
"Get on the bed then."

 When he stood up, she saw that he was hard and leaking. Leaking a lot.
Her heart beat loud enough to deafen her as she climbed onto the bed
behind him.

 Ray was on his hands and knees, his smooth, muscular back spread out in
front of her, his shoulders and arms tight with anticipation. She looked
at his ass last. She smiled, opening the tube of KY and squeezing some out
onto her fingers. "Did I ever tell you you've got a great ass?"

 "You mighta mentioned it once or twice."

 She took her time opening him up, because she didn't want to tear
anything and because it was fun. She felt around inside, trying to find
the magic spot, and when she finally did, Ray gave a strangled moan and
dropped his face onto his folded arms. "You're killing me here," he
complained into the pillow, but he shoved his hips back onto her fingers,
slow and dreamy.

 "Okay," she said finally, spreading lube on the smooth silicone, "last
chance to back out."

 He made a noise that could have been a laugh or a sob. "I do not fucking
think so. Hurry up, Christ."

 The dildo looked too big, not as big as three fingers because they'd
started small, but it couldn't feel, it couldn't find its way or tell her
if she was ripping something. Shit, it's not going to work,she thought for
a second, but she shoved a little, and the head slipped inside. The
muscles in Ray's thigh began vibrating where she was holding onto him for
balance. She pushed forward a little farther, and he sucked in a breath
and froze.

 "You okay?"

 "Yeah, yeah, just give me a second," he said.

 She could feel him trying to relax, hear him breathing in and out. She
leaned forward, wrapped herself around him so her breasts were pressed
against his back. "Hey," she said, running one hand down his side and
taking his dick in the other. "I got time." She stroked him, trying to
slide in at the same time. It was a clumsy, graceless process, but Ray's
breath was shaky now and getting shakier, and every time she moved forward
an inch her breasts dragged over his back, sending tiny flares of arousal
through her. The space between them was slick with sweat by the time she
was all the way in, and she just stayed there for a minute, draped over
him, her mouth open against his shoulder, making tiny little thrusts and
rubbing her nipples on his back.

 "Harder," he said hoarsely, thrusting hard into her fist for emphasis.
"Please."

 There was no way she had the leverage for that in her current position.
She let go of his dick and pushed herself back up onto her knees--and in
the process shoved into Ray hard enough that they both slid forward, his
forearms hitting the headboard.

 "Fuck, that is greatness," he groaned.

 "Really?" She pulled back and then pushed back in, tentatively. "Like
that?"

 "Harder."

 She didn't know how hard was okay, so she started with slow, small
thrusts, working her way up until she was actually kind of pounding into
him. The harness brushed her clit on every thrust--not enough to really
bring her off, but that was definitely beside the point because Ray was
out of control under her, making mindless little noises and shoving
backwards. He reached back with one hand and started jerking himself off,
fast and desperate.

 She watched, mesmerized, as the shiny blue dildo slipped in and out of
him. He was open, so open and so turned on and chanting in that rough sex
voice, "Come on come on Stella come on Stella come on come on," and she
forgot about awkwardness and careful and just fucked him. She could do
this for hours, hanging on the ragged edge of arousal, watching Ray move
under her. She shifted, angling up, and he came with a ragged shout that
vibrated through her entire body.

 ###

 That night Stella didn't even mind that she always got stuck with the
dishes. She just glanced at the blue dildo (rinsed off in the bathroom
sink, of course) in the bottom rack between her favorite square cow plate
and the silverware tray and hummed "The Little Old Lady from Pasadena" to
herself as she scrubbed.

 When she went into the living room, Ray was standing at the turntable
fiddling with the needle. "Hey," he said, smiling at her. "Dance with me.
I'm too sore to sit down."

 "Sorry," she said, but she wasn't sorry at all. He held her close, the
jazz low enough that she could still hear the dishwasher chugging away in
the kitchen, and she wasn't sorry for a thing.

  
  

End Dishwasher-Safe by belmanoir 

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